“Just remember how long my legs are in comparison to yours. In case you’re thinking of running away.” Brick completed the release of Zarg from his chair. The little alien stretched his arms and back as he replied.
“Just remember how much smarter I am than you, and that I’ve got your wallet.”
“I’m not falling for that one again. See we humans have a great capacity for learning…” Zarg held Brick’s wallet out as a peace offering. “…give me that.” Brick checked the money holder discreetly; there was still no cash inside.
“So, fellow team member.” Spiritwind took over the ‘talking to the alien’ duties. “Can you tell us where the time anchor is?”
“Of course. Anything for a team-mate. It’s on the ship I flew here on.” Zarg preferred talking to the bald one.
“And your ship is?”
Zarg only had an open mouth of misunderstanding. He guessed at the required answer. “Spacious with all the required facilities for universal travel?”
“I meant that as a question of its whereabouts.”
“Then why didn’t you say that?”
“I thought I had. I used a subtle tonal technique to imply my first question hadn’t yet been answered, therefore I’m repeating the question in a shorter form.” Spiritwind couldn’t work out who was more confused.
“Oh. We don’t use subtle tonal techniques back home.”
“You should. They save time.”
“This doesn’t feel any quicker.” Zarg had a cast iron point.
“Well it would be if we’d all understood the techniques involved from the start.” The concepts took an interest in the verbal sparring, even Karma and Irony.
“I understand now. So should we continue?” Zarg placed the chat back on track. “What was the first question again?”
“Where is the time anchor?”
“It’s on the ship I arrived on.” Zarg beamed. Pleased at being allowed to speak freely without derision or chastisement.
“Repeating the answer that started all the confusion isn’t helping anyone is it?” Spiritwind remained calm.
“But isn’t this the way you two communicate?” Zarg gestured towards Brick and Spiritwind. “In circles?”
“I wouldn’t take them as a good example of human communication.” Fate verbally poked his head in before retracting it to continue observing.
“Really? It feels like far more fun.” Zarg was thoroughly enjoying himself.
“Maybe we could be friends after all.” Brick punched Zarg playfully.
“Why would you say we could be friends and then hit me? Surely the two conflict.” Zarg rubbed his arm and looked genuinely hurt; more emotionally than physically.
“It’s alright to hit each other when you’re friends. Same as it’s alright to poke fun.” Brick grinned and nodded his head, searching for support from anyone nearby. All he found were grimaces and limited eye contact.
“Does that mean you’re going to hit me again? And does it also mean the better the friends we become the harder the hits will get?” Zarg panicked slightly.
“I won’t hit you again unless you fully understand why.” It was as far as Brick would commit. It calmed Zarg, but left him with one eye on the well haired one.
“About this anchor.” Spiritwind returned to the purpose of the conversation. “Where is the ship you arrived on, parked?” He tried to limit any confusion.
“On the edge of this grouping of buildings, in a natural grass basin.” It was the perfect answer.
“Excellent. We’ve seen it already. It’s a nice ship.”
“Thank you. I shall inform the designer if I ever meet him.”
“Or her.” Irony maintained her equality campaign.
“You don’t have to thank them. It was an idle comment.” Spiritwind strayed once more.
“I won’t then.” Zarg remained literal.
“You can if you wish. Just don’t feel obliged to. If it comes up in a conversation feel free, but don’t go out of your way.” Spiritwind tidied up the ends.
“How did you people ever invent fire with all this cross communication?” Zarg remained puzzled.
“So where on the ship is the anchor?” Spiritwind returned to relative conversational safety.
“It forms the base. There’s a sealed room holding three volunteers and thousands of clocks. They have to maintain a heightened awareness of time. This perception is then magnified and used as the input that keeps your people frozen.” Zarg twiddled with a nearby bag of cement as he spoke. He was bored of the whole interrogation scenario and wanted to get on with the car chases and jumps that accompanied any self respecting adventure.
“And what is the anchor made of?” Spiritwind pushed for as much information as possible while the floodgates appeared open.
“An intense beam of photons encased in an indestructible tube.” Zarg moved on to poking a pick axe.
“We can’t attack the actual beam then.” Spiritwind spoke to himself.
“Sorry, are you saying the anchor is made of light particles?” Brick spoke to anyone with ears.
“Photons. Yes.”
“You’ve made a ‘light’ anchor?” Only Brick chuckled.
“Yes. Is this something else, I’m not understanding?” Zarg had no chance of getting it.
“The whole purpose of an anchor is that it’s heavy, and you’ve made it out of light. It’s a play on words…..that apparently only I find funny. Apologies. Carry on.” Brick continued to chuckle to himself.
“I’m not sure anyone understood why that was funny.” Spiritwind ignored Brick’s continuing giggles and grasped the role of inquisitor with both hands. His drive to push on surprised even him. “When you say the room is sealed do you mean completely?”
“Yes.” A slight huff of boredom entered the alien's tone.
“So whatever we do has to be from outside.” Spiritwind again spoke thoughtfully to himself as Zarg wandered amongst the bags of cement. Brick once more joined in.
“That’s my idea gazumped.”
“What was your idea?” Spiritwind ceased stroking his chin in order to enquire.
“To walk in and knock them all out. There’s no perception of time in the unconscious world.” Brick smiled at his ingenuity. Nobody returned the expression.
“We may not be able to knock them out but we must be able to affect them in some way.” Spiritwind found an extra bundle of energy, and a cookie. “We need to think of ways to alter their perception of time.”
“Going on holiday? Time always passes quicker when you’re on holiday.” Brick’s idea was instant, if not practical.
“Nice idea but not the easiest state to impose. Do you have any ideas?” Spiritwind aimed his question at the concepts. They’d given up watching. The males were discussing the latest table designs whilst Karma and Irony complained to each other about mans' obsession with tables.
“Sorry?” Fate answered for the group.
“Any ideas on altering the perception of time?”
“We can’t really get involved in the specifics. We’re here to point and tweak.” Fate was eager to return to the conversation. It had moved on to leg carvings, perhaps his favourite area of any table.
“So point and tweak us in the direction of a plan.” Brick had tired of subtlety. Fate raised his arms in an apologetic shrug and turned back to the concepts.
“It’s just us then.” Spiritwind shared an optimistic glance with Brick.
“What we need is a plan so brilliant only the greatest minds a planet holds would think of it.” Brick turned his mind, and body language, fully to thought. The pair began pacing a very short path.
“Or a plan so obvious practically everyone would think of it but dismiss it as being stupid.” Spiritwind refined the goal.
“How do we do that?”
“What’s the first thing you thought of when the question was posed?”
“Boredom.” Zarg interjected with
the answer. He just wanted to get on with things.
“Now you’re confusing your tenses. ‘I’m bored’ would be the appropriate way to state your current mindset. Although I fail to see how that’s possible. You're invading a planet, only to have been captured by two of the most dashing heroes the universe has to offer, and now you’re about to aid the thwarting of your own plan. The youth of today! If it isn’t on a screen with eighteen trillion pixels they just don’t care.” Brick had missed the point.
“I think he’s giving us the answer. Boredom messes with your perception of time.” Zarg knew there was a reason he preferred the bald one.
“My point about the youth is still a valid one. So all we need to do is bore the guys inside the anchor room and the world is saved?” Brick practiced the victory stance he intended to greet success with.
“That shouldn’t be too hard.” Zarg threw a verbal swipe at Brick.
“But he’s asking for it.” Brick prepared his fist as Zarg looked concerned.
“Maybe, but if he runs off we’re stuck.”
“He won’t run off.” The debate left the two oblivious to Zarg sneaking away behind various piles of construction material. Brick was pleased to claim the last word as Spiritwind updated the concepts, still unaware of Zarg’s secreted position.
“I think we may have solved the problem.” The concepts returned their focus to the mission. The boys had decided to meet up and create the ultimate table once the adventure was complete. Fate volunteered to sort the legs.
“Where’s Zarg?” Fate went straight for the obvious.
“He’s…….I told you this would happen. He’s run off.” The two heroes stared at the empty space where Zarg had been.
“No I’ve not.” Zarg’s voice echoed from three separate locations.
“Are you using some form of alien mind trickery to confuse us?” Brick spun whilst trying to pinpoint the alien.
“No. I just have an exceptional understanding of sound dynamics.”
“I’m impressed.” Spiritwind was genuinely impressed.
“Thank you.” A fourth location joined in.
“Alright, there’s no need to show off.” Brick continued to spin.
“Sorry.” A fifth slipped out by mistake.
“How could you lose him?” Irony’s voice dripped with derision.
“We haven’t. Zarg lost us.” It was only semantics, but to Brick they were important.
“Brick threatened to hit him so he’s hiding.” Spiritwind revealed the truth.
“You shouldn’t hit him.” They popped in to the discussion. “You should pull both antennae and his nose at the same time.”
“What will that do?” Brick fed They his favourite thing, a question.
“It’ll make his face fall off. It has to be at the same time though otherwise you’ll just dislodge an eye.”
“We have to find him now. I’ve got to see that.”
“What makes you think he didn’t just hear every word of that?” Fate offered advice on silence.
“If my green soul was hiding I’d be keeping it that way to protect my face.” Fut interpreted the message in his own way. It left Brick still on the search.
“Don’t listen to Brick, Zarg.” Karma weighed in with her own warning. “I won’t let him touch you, because if he does I’ll be well within my rights to unleash any number of acts of vengeance in your name.” Brick felt Karma’s stare burning the back of his neck. He waited until he could smell the skin beginning to fry before turning round. He couldn’t hold eye contact with her and feigned interest in a girder. Glancing back at occasional intervals he found her still focused upon him. He mumbled to himself about girders and pretended not to notice.
Zarg could see the fear she instilled in Brick and knew her promise of protection to be true. He was reassured enough to emerge. His disappearance had created a few moments excitement if nothing else.
“Well I never would have looked there.” Spiritwind grew even more impressed at the alien’s ability. Brick continued to stare at the girder, poking it to add weight to his charade.
“Could I just ask one more question before we put this new information in to action?” Spiritwind wished to tie a neat bow around the session.
“You can ask.” Zarg knew he now had the upper hand.
“What bores your people?”
“I may hold on to that information as protection against my face falling off.”
“So it does work?” Brick didn’t help. The burning in his neck intensified further. He mumbled louder about girders.
“I don’t blame you.” Spiritwind concurred with Zarg’s concern. “I guess we should begin the next phase of saving the Earth then.”
“Do we have a plan?” Fate wondered how long they’d been talking about tables. He’d clearly missed something.
“We have a vague outline.” Spiritwind hoped saying the words would make it true.
“How does the vague outline go?” Fate tried to work out what may happen next. He couldn’t think of anything but the finely carved flamingo’s he had in mind for the table project's legs.
“Let’s move our journey outside and I shall reveal all.” Spiritwind needed the extra time to clarify a few things. Karma kept her gaze on Brick as she left. Passing through the door, and out of sight, the sensation of flames licking his neck ceased.
“Fascinating things, girders.” Feeling semi secure Brick glanced back, quickly. He double checked with his friend. “Has she gone?” He rubbed the nape of his neck.
“Indeed. And we shall join them. I sense the final act approaching.” Spiritwind led his friend with a pasty in each hand.
“Sometimes you’re so dramatic.” The duo bickered their way outside in order to defeat the Jefferian’s with nothing but a few ideas, belief, and various concealed baked goods. Perhaps Fate should have given them gadgets after all.