“It can’t be that scary; it’s too well spoken.” Irony maintained denial in an effort to overcome fear.
“Since when did accents denote anything more than where you come from?” Fate didn’t have time for a debate.
“Since when did people that can disappear at will start hiding in the backs of cars?” Karma’s annoyance was building.
The concepts were cramped on the back seat of a volcano red people carrier. All four struggled for space whilst using the ample back window as a screen to view the unfolding drama outside.
“Every being knows there ain’t no fun in fishing in the sink.” Fut offered something of a reply.
“That’s because there aren’t any fish in a sink.” Karma was not appeased.
“I think Fut meant there’s no fun because it would be too easy my dearest sweetheart.” Fate sat uncomfortably between a friend and an explosive girlfriend. He knew deep down there was no right answer, but his effort was commendable.
“I know what he meant. I was being argumentative.” Karma made it clear.
“Okay, sweetikums.” Fate grimaced as he tried to move along. “Anybody see anything yet?”
“All I can see is Fut’s hair.” Irony peered round from Fut’s ample yet perfectly crafted mop. She coughed to suggest it was in her mouth.
“How’s the do that do lookin’?” Fut enquired as to its aesthetic nature.
“Can we disappear if it looks like an alien is about to discover us?” Irony ignored Fut and raised a more important point.
“I think for the sake of sport we should pretend to be frozen first.” Fate’s enthusiasm for the mission received nothing more than a bob of Fut’s head, but that could be in response to the soundtrack of funk permanently rooted in his thoughts.
“What would we have been doing to end up frozen together like this?” Karma’s rage grew as she continued to look for the argument she felt obliged to have.
“We could……well…..There’s one.” Fate was rescued by an alien scooting past the end of the street, quickly followed by two others and a cry from the cacklejack. A fourth appeared, lagging behind and seemingly out of breath. Stopping to face the direction he had come from, the alien’s colour drained from his body in a flash. As he backed up, the creature behind the cries hovered in to view.
“Forget the ugly tree, that dude ate the forest that it calls daddy.” Fut tried to put in to words what he saw.
The cacklejack swayed as it continued to advance, its legs dangling limply with menacing intent. The flurry of wings masked much of the twenty foot body, but what could be seen screamed terror. Dark, sharp edges poked out from every inch, repelling any desire to offer a cuddle, which is probably all the beast needed. The cowering alien looked up as the monster’s cry rang out once more. The cacklejack understood its role as the scary threat, and dragged the moment out to cinematic perfection. It gave the alien ample time to remember running was still an option. Scrambling from the tarmac the green being bolted up the street towards the concepts; the cacklejack smirked, he liked it better when they ran.
“Can we disappear now?” Irony allowed panic in to her voice box as the cacklejack followed the alien effortlessly, chortling to the sky as it chose its moment to pounce. The alien glanced back mid stride, triggering the monster into action; landing effortlessly the spider trapped its prey within a cage formed from its legs, belching victoriously as the alien sank to his knees and buried his head in the road.
“I can’t allow this to go on. That poor little alien doesn’t deserve this.” Karma had built her rage to the point it had to be released, and telling Fate off wasn’t going to satisfy her need. It had to involve physical exertion on her part.
Before anyone could say anything she appeared outside the car and on the road, storming towards the spider. Fate could only watch. Fut and Irony spread out as more space became available. They wished for popcorn as things grew increasingly interesting.
The cacklejack had noticed Karma from the corner of one of its eight eyes, but presumed it was just seeing things again and ignored it. Nobody would dare approach something as ferocious as itself in a manner suggesting they were looking for trouble, especially without a weapon. By the time the eye had convinced the spider to take it seriously, Karma had skipped up one of its legs and stood atop the creature.
The physiology of spiders means glancing upwards achieves nothing when the aim is to see somebody on your back, although that could be considered a blessing. Nobody should see what Karma did next.
Suddenly there was only one thing that existed in the spider’s world, ‘going home’ pain: the pain that carries injured children home without pause to pick up belongings or to explain to friends what has occurred, the only concern being to reach a parent as fast as possible; the only uttering, a feeble ‘going home’.
“I feel sick.” Irony could barely contain her dinner.
“If your heart can find the love within a lady that can do such things it must be the truest kind.” Even Fut lost his cool for a moment.
“Would you want to tell someone that could do that you don’t love them? Which I obviously do, love her that is. In case anyone wished to spread any rumours to the contrary.” Fate looked at Irony. She was preoccupied trying to erase her memory.
Pain continued to sear through the cacklejack as it turned and fled down the street, running in the hope its mother would appear with a magic kiss and an ambulance for back up. Karma had skipped down from the beast before it escaped, pleased that her rage had left her. She approached the people carrier with a huge smile, and the cacklejack’s dripping wings in her hands. The alien had continued to cower throughout, unaware of the concept's intervention. Karma appeared back in the car, wings and all.
“He’ll think twice about doing that again, the big bully.” Karma was the only one to speak as a sense of shocked silence gripped the vehicle.
“I brought you one as a token of our love.” She handed Fate an appendage. He accepted it with a bemused and open eyed nod. All previously available space in the car found a wing taking it up.
“His friends are coming back.” Irony tried to ignore the pool of puss forming on the seat and stared forward, speaking without emotion.
The three aliens that had escaped the cacklejack appeared back on the street. They’d obviously seen the spider flee. Nervously checking behind themselves they ran from cover to cover until reaching their friend. He remained stuck to the road with fear. A few words were offered without response, the three still checking down the road in case the beast returned. Eventually one leaned in to poke the cowering alien. He shrieked in response and lashed out before realising he was surrounded by friends. He sat up, confused, joyous and terrified, all in one face.
The concepts remained perfectly still as they watched. Karma continued to beam. Fate, Fut and Irony tried to ignore being covered in spiders' wing. After several minutes coaxing, the terrorised alien struggled to his feet and joined his friends in a panicked sprint back the way they had come. The occupants of the car moved once more.
“Can we disappear now?” Irony only had one thought.
“I think we definitely need more room.” Fate agreed.
“Aren’t they beautiful?” Karma admired her trophies.
“Dearest, and I mean that more than I ever have, we all appreciate what you just did for that alien, but have you considered the consequence of your actions?” Fate spoke slowly and in his least offensive tone. Karma’s good mood could vanish quicker than the cacklejack.
“I’ve taught that monster a lesson it won’t forget.”
“Yes, yes you have, but you’ve also really, really angered an outstandingly scary creature and unleashed it on the world.” Fate smiled in an effort not to cause offence.
“I suppose I have haven’t I?” Karma spoke vacantly without a care. Team B nodded back as the sound of an agonised spider reverberated around Puddleton, an element of vengeance sneaking in
to its tone. It wasn’t the sound of things getting any easier.