Table of Contents
Table of Contents 1
THE TOOLSHED 3
Daunting Shadows Untouched Silence 3
After Future 4
Before past 7
Empty pages 9
In 10
Arizel 11
Enemies of the sun 12
The Forgotten 14
Future toy 15
The Rising 18
The oppositioner 20
Paralyze my mind 21
Doppelganger 24
Vasitven 25
God Player 27
Faith 29
Life of Death 30
Lonesome star 34
Here and beyond 35
Pair of walls 37
Heretofore 38
Ghostword 39
Once 41
The Gathering 43
Newborns 44
The hive of five 46
The emancipated 49
The obscure 50
Next brevity 51
The Living Machine 52
The god without devil 54
Toy World 56
Final Fate 57
out 59
The Return 60
The Toolshed 62
Mutilation 63
God bears no name 64
Paroxysm 66
The equal of time 67
The entity divine 68
Births & Deaths 69
Flashbacks 70
Winter father 73
Mind Mirror 75
White Crow 78
Black moon 79
The Kayle reborn 80
Eulogy 81
The Timebook of Clocks 82
Lion in the Toolshed 83
Atmi deception 84
Endmost 85
*The Diary of Devil* 87
BATTLE SKULLS 99
Epilogue 104
Author’s note: 105
THE TOOLSHED
Daunting Shadows Untouched Silence
to my wife and son
By antim abhay
Wave upon wave of demented Avengers march cheerfully out of obscurity, into the dream.
-Roger Waters
I walked into a hospital where none was sick and none was well.
-Leonard Cohen
There lives a poor painter who sees a painting every night in his dream. This recurring dream wakes him up in the middle of the night every time and he starts painting what he saw. But he always ends up making a new beautiful painting instead. This way, he paints one each day. He pines for gold but someone has made him promise that whatever happens he must not sell his paintings and he keeps his promise. He has become illusive because of ambiguity of this dream and his inability to create that one painting. Some know him from now, some have known him from centuries and some will never know him.
The boy in the box said, "They'll search for me and if they find me I'll make their dreams come true but they won’t be happy for long and then they'd want me to leave but I won't until they love me."
After Future
He sat with elegance, holding the Sysandrian stone in one hand and grasping Arizel’s palm with other. The people and animals bowed and prayed. Both Arindhara as well as silent forest of dreams had found peace, hope and rest in his dominion. But he was not at peace with himself because he did not know where or how to find Vasitven and he knew all he could do was wait.
When he and Arizel felt their death approaching they went to the Silent forest of dreams. They kept the Prophesier where it lay after he mingled it with the river of life. Then they put the book in the cradle and tucked it slowly between their sleeping twins. Bidding goodbye to the Astrologer, together they embraced death.
When he opened his eyes he found that they were walking on a shore. Arizel’s foot caught onto something, she picked it up and was surprised to see it was a book. She started reading it as she strolled away from the shore with him. Suddenly she gave the book to him and said that this book looks like the Timebook of Clocks, but it is not. He nodded and said, “I know, this is the one made in the Toolshed when I was searching for you. We are in the place of which we dreamt. We are in Sysandria.
The first Kayle reborn kneeling at the altar inside the temple of the Goddess of Sysandria, carefully listened as the priest’s words echoed, “After leaving your native bodies, you and Arizel came to Sysandria. A Kayle takes birth in Arindhara or in the Silent Forest of Dreams and can travel between Arindhara and the Silent Forest. There are some Kayles, the Elders, who took birth in Sysandria and are here since the beginning of time. Either a Kayle is a Kayle by birth, or becomes a Kayle. The Arindharans, after death, reach the Silent Forest and after some time go back to Arindhara to take next birth. This cycle continues until they become a Kayle and then the memories of all past lives returns to them. There can be only one pair of Kayles in Arindhara and the Silent Forest of Dreams. You were a Kayle by birth and Arizel turned, while she was in Silent Forest, but as soon as she became a Kayle, the Lion enslaved her. She thought she was fooling the Lion by sneaking out to search for other Kayles, but it was his will as he sought you too for his own malicious purposes. In the domes of Teargar Arizel met the Astrologer who knew all about Sysandria and Kayles. She started visiting him whenever she could and he told her everything he knew about Kayles. Astrologer gave her the Timebook of Clocks which was given to him by Kayles and he told her to find you. Only Astrologer knows everything about Kayles and he passes the knowledge to his successor. He is the keeper of the Timebook of Clocks. Kayles want him to give the book to the new pair of Kayles existing in Arindhara.
When a pair of Kayles is about to arrive in Sysandria two drops of tear fall from the eyes of the statue of their Goddess. One drop turns into a man and another into a woman. They have powers above all Kayles and they leave Sysandria. They are known as Vasitvens. But this time when you and Arizel arrived two drops of blood fell instead of tears. According to the prophecy the goddess will bleed on the arrival of first Kayle reborn."
Astrologer
Astrologer to the Kayle
I wish I could feel your demons
I possess the maniac’s mirror as I promised
Close your eyes and trust me
I am the keeper of melodies
Order of the other has been given
The addicts are marching in unison
Play the strings measure the deep memories
One day you will write your own elegy
The alone Arizel burns so bright
Silent forest of dreams screams in the moonless night
I am the keeper of the key
Silent forest of dreams doesn’t possess any energy
There love has no reservation
Endless are these harbingers of thine
The animals and trees are afraid of Rakhtavar the Lion
If you will go to the existent half of the forest
The Lion will transform you when you enter inside
There everyone will possess numerous lies
You will revolve in both the worlds till you escape
Leave this grave and return to the everglades
The truth is hidden from you
For your mind cannot occupy it
You may be alone or you may be known
But all have almost same dream of home
Taking birth as a human is a soul’s first life
And the soul will always be born as a human
Until the soul, encounters the unknown
Then it will be able to take birth as any enti
ty of its will
And join them who lived like it in this world
And rest in any of the universes’ realms
For you to survive remembering is enough
Your sins only delay your emancipation
The king of the hidden kingdom waits for the one
The one who took least time to get undone
You muse about silent forest of dreams
Where moon rises from the debris
Delivering darkness over the day
But you don’t remember it
It lays in your long forgotten dreams
***
Astrologer said, “An Arindharan will become commander of the army of Arizel which will be formed of good animals of the existent half of the Silent Forest.”
Before past
When I met Arizel she was the only one who knew what was happening with me. She told me things which no one ever did. Arizel resides in the Silent forest of dreams which is divided in two unequal halves by the endless river of life. The river being in a shape of digit eight, is surrounding the two unequal halves of the Silent forest of dreams, one barren and one green. This river is formed of many unequally distributed sections which flow in varying directions. We met for a few evenings in the domes of Teargar; she left me with a book in my hands, a book which no one had read in Arindhara. It was written by someone called Astrologer. Arizel and I didn't meet after that. I can only go to the barren half of the Silent forest of Dreams where Arizel cannot come. She resides in the fruitful half on the other side of the river of life. When I reach the bank of the river of life, I always find Arizel sitting and crying at the opposite bank near the edge of the other green existent half of the forest. When she sees me, her sorrow fades to a simper and we yearn to touch each other, we never had before in the Silent forest of dreams. Both of us have tried many times to swim across the river, but we could never succeed due to the different flowing sections of the river. I spent half of my life searching for the Astrologer and I found him. He told me many secrets of our universe. He shared with me the stories of the Silent forest of dreams. Astrologer revealed to me that I was a Kayle and Arizel too. Astrologer said before departing that I and Arizel belong to Sysandria. He did not write that book, he was just a keeper of the book which came from Sysandria. He also said," In the forest there is only one pair of each living thing, no humans save Kayles can exist in the existent half of the forest but Arizel is the only one there and enslaved by the Lion now after centuries you have come, a Kayle who took birth in Arindhara."
Once, Arizel and me jumped together in the river and swam towards each other. We have done this before too but due to the different flowing sections of the river, we could never cross. But this time we both crossed the river and found ourselves lying on the opposite banks of the river. I signalled her to stay there and jumped again in the river to cross the river again, but the river threw me back at the same bank each time. Each time I jumped in the river, it took me farther away from Arizel who continuously ran along the bank following me. Arizel had once told me while she was in Arindhara that her power works only over the animals (except the lion) and the trees of silent forest of dreams, but against the river of life she was powerless. I remembered Arizel told me that she feared the lion who resided in her half of silent forest of dreams. The Lion never harmed her, but barred her from leaving the Silent Forest. All the entities of the Silent forest feared him. I decided to kill the lion. Fear gripped Arizel. She tried to stop me from entering the existent half of the silent forest of dream alone. I asked her to wait where she was and assured her to trust me and I entered the forest. She cried to me, ‘The lion of silent forest of dreams possess a treasure called the Prophesier. Comeback before the fruitful half of the forest transforms into a barren one.’ I entered the forest, but as soon as the fog ensnared me I got lost and my memories blurred. I searched and searched Arizel both in the Silent Forest as well in Arindhara but couldn’t find her. And when I rested I realized something was strange now in both the worlds. It wasn't the world which I knew. I couldn’t find Arizel until the end but I found Ghostword."
Empty pages
Arizel to Astrologer
Life is like a silence voice is its death
They move shoulder to shoulder
But they never can go together
The fading black darkness wakes the voice
And the voice kills the silence infinite times
Then in a dark tool shed
Voice hears the screams of the silence
At dusk silence starts getting shivers down its spine
Justice done only for the first crime
Just when the Sun returns to the cemetery
Singing songs of his history
The silence awakens the necropolis
The keeper likes peace in his cemetery
The keeper loved the songs
But couldn’t relate them with his story
It takes two for deliverance
He hailed at voice without violence
Music can’t exist without silence
Sitting nearby under a fig tree
The puppeteer brings back his memories
He soon found the God’s ineffability
Listening to songs of this cemetery
He read the Timebook of clocks infinitely
Finally swimming in the vast river of life
He reached the immortal silent forest of dreams
Twas divided in two halves; one barren and other green
Where the Lion imprisoned him and blurred his memories
In
***
Arizel
Astrologer to newborns of Arindhara
When he woke up he hungered for forgotten poems
Bewildered Arindharans stared at both of them
They surrounded him when she was weak
For hours she broke the clouds that hung over his cemetery
He once fell in love with her without knowing her name
She tried to tell him, “They are unaware when they push you
They will never accept what they did against you,
Entering their body animals make them do this to you
If you blame them they will not believe you
They don’t see what animals do to you.”
He sought refuge in the doldrums without knowing her chastity
Staring the darkness, sculptures he carved on a pale azured iron tower
He suffused the darkness by the light of his chisel
They buried him in a sepulchure
The forest stank of water and camphor
Their lanterns wouldn’t cast her shadow,
So they followed a rainbow and found her shelter
Tied to a tree her body bled bare
Every time she was assailed, he wasn't unaware
They set her free as they didn’t find her mellow.
She dragged them to the nightmares of the lion kingdom
She saw him again in the silent forest impeding the secret river
She brought balance by slaughtering the souls;
Of those who had locked him in the graveyard,
Where the god as well as the devil has to die every single night
Devil cheats and commits suicide before the dusk arrives
Now she buys the bodies left behind after their demise
She makes the souls, belonging to these bodies, one of his kinds
The cry demanded they must thrive, forcing the end
less river to teach,
It implored, “No mercy for traitor such as thee.”
Enemies of the sun
Newborns of Arindhara to animals of the Silent Forest of dreams
When you see him come near
You kill the light by deception
Bride’s daughters sleep all night
They pray for him in all fashion
At dawn they see him turn blind
At dusk every image of the day,
Flash through his tired mind
Only the daughters see him play
For others all he does is whine.
You lurk beneath his shadows
He trusts your insanity in crime
When his sword touches the sky
Your blood will freeze eternally
He’s the one who should not be
Father will forgive you in time
To reach him you shouldn’t try
Dying will not get you an invite
His truth is that death is a lie.
Verses inside him stay unsung
He failed to replicate it to real
But he has escaped the heavenly sin
You search about truth of death
Darkness deceives the fate you had
All souls return back to breathe
You’ll understand more if you see
When your little worlds clank
He traps you in his somatic raiment.
Architects of future gave him a diary
He locked an endangered species in it
Child of god gets no chance to fight
His ego triggers the countdown
The era of flying kites is long gone
He can subdue the reign of calamity
She pays the price to bring him home
Believing one day he’ll till the ground
She only deserves the winning crown.
The Forgotten
Animals of the Silent Forest of Dreams to the newborns of Arindhara
His dream of defeating fate keeps him benign
Few can dream a thing such unimaginable
But his reality is as obvious as a sign
In the day he flew like dragons in a fable
His fire shielded his child from the night
He feels bliss when she comes at the eventide
She sings to their child and rocks the cradle
He hides the black mask of light in her eyes,
She borrows his masquerade of darkness
In order to survive he takes away the child
At dawn defeated he comes back to their stable
Finding her gone he cries which puts the child to sleep
Then he marches inside the dark forest to find her.
Future toy
Astrologer to Arizel