Chapter 5
Stacey never realized what a lonely life she led. She kept busy, but there was no real connection with anyone. Nick was her bright spot and he was now happily reconciled with Jasmine. She didn’t let on that things hadn’t worked out with Stefan. She knew if she did, he would be holding her hand and that would cause more of a problem with Jasmine.
Nick spent every spare moment with Jasmine and Stacey spent every spare moment trying to fill it with activity to keep from crying over Stefan. It was silly to think she was in love with someone that she hadn’t even known more than 3 days. But she was in love and it hurt that she had fallen for someone who couldn’t accept her for who she was.
That’s what it really came down to from her perspective. She had one true friend in the world and if she could do anything to help him, then why should that be a problem? It’s just who she was. Stacey was a caregiver.
She had enough of this moping around. It had been a week since she had talked to Stefan. Every day she fought the urge to call and beg him to give her another chance. Maybe it was pride that was keeping her from picking up the phone, but she didn’t know what else to do. And she didn’t dare ask Nick because as soon as he saw her face to face he would be her champion and she didn’t want to be the reason for a falling out between Stefan and Nick.
Stacey remembered all the stories Nick had told about Stefan. They were truly like brothers and no girl, not even Stacey should come in between them.
The problem now was that she missed him. She missed the feeling of being cared for. For being wanted. She didn’t have any experience sexually, but thought Stefan would be the one. It was worse knowing that it would have been so good between them. They had great chemistry and he just threw it out the window.
But surely it takes two to make an argument; maybe she should just call him. Pride be damned!
She went to pick up the phone and it buzzed in her hand with an incoming call before she could dial Stefan. “Hello?”
“Stacey, it’s me Alyson. You need to get down here.” Alyson’s voice conveyed concern and fear.
Stacey’s heart dropped. “What’s wrong?”
“Nick was just brought in.” Alyson said.
“What happened?” Stacey’s knees started to shake and she had to sit down before she fell.
“He was in a car accident. It’s pretty bad Stacey. He’s got internal bleeding and a head injury. They’re about to take him in for surgery. I was working the ER, when I saw who it was I figured you’d want to know.”
It felt like all the air had been sucked from the room. “Thanks for calling and letting me know. Can you do me a favor?”
Stacey knew Alyson was not really inclined to do her any favors, but Alyson seemed to be dealing with her in a sympathetic manner, so she thought she might help. “I am on my way down there now, can you call this number and let Stefan know what has happened.”
As much as Stefan was angry with her choice to put Nick first, Stacey knew he would still want to know that Nick was hurt.
Alyson said, “Sure no problem Stacey. And… I am so sorry.”
“Thanks.” Stacey hung up the phone and grabbed her purse and keys.
Stacey got to the hospital in record time. He was already in the OR, so she didn’t get a chance to see him before he went under. She was in the waiting room and realized that Jasmine wasn’t there. She called her cell number and she answered. “Hello?”
“Jasmine, this is Stacey.” She paused.
“Hi Stacey. What’s up?” Jasmine had made an effort to make her voice not only sound cordial, but to sound friendly.
“You need to get down to the hospital. Nick was just brought in.” Stacey swallowed past the lump in her throat trying to sound as professional as possible.
“What! But I was just on the phone with him a little while ago! There must be a mistake!” she screamed.
“I am so sorry, but he’s in critical condition and is in the OR right now. They are trying to get his internal bleeding under control.” She wanted to scream, this wasn’t right. Nick couldn’t be in there fighting for his life. Stacey wanted to deny it just as much as Jasmine had.
“Oh my God. Oh my God.” Jasmine had broken down in tears.
“You want me to send a cab to pick you up? I am not sure you should be driving in your condition.” Stacey asked suddenly worried that a teary eyed Jasmine would be a danger to herself and to other drivers on the road.
“Yes please.” Her voice was full of tears.
Stacey took her address and then called a cab. When she turned around, Stefan was standing there. She wanted to run into his arms, but couldn’t make herself move.
“How is he?” His eyes were stormy; so many conflicting emotions could be read there.
“I don’t know. Alyson says that they may be in there for a while, his internal injuries are quite severe.”
Stacey’s cell phone rang and she turned away from Stefan to answer it. “Hello?” It was Mrs. Horowitz. Stacey told her that she couldn’t come by her place today because of Nick. She gave her all the information she knew and told her she would give her an update as soon as she knew anything. “Can you please call the church and let them know? Put him on the prayer list?”
Mrs. Horowitz gave Stacey her assurance that she would do that.
Stefan watched her warily. “Are you OK?”
Stacey didn’t even know how to answer his question, so she just nodded her head. He led her to the waiting room chairs. Some daytime TV judge show was on. Nick and Stacey use to talk about how much they hated those shows. Stacey could feel her eyes start to water. She couldn’t just sit here and wait. She got up. “I’m going to see if I can get a status from the OR.” She walked away from Stefan without ever making eye contact.
Alyson was coming from the OR and Stacey looked at her askance. “They are still going.”
“Who is doing the surgery?” Stacey asked.
Alyson knew Stacey was asking if someone competent was working on Nick, so when she smiled, Stacey felt so much better. “Dr. Wilkins is doing the surgery.”
“Good. And thanks for calling Stefan for me.” Stacey wasn’t sure how long this truce between Alyson and she was going to last, but right now it felt good to have someone who understood on her side. There was solidarity in being ER nurses that went past whatever personal problems they had. She appreciated it now.
There was nothing she could do hovering outside the ER doors. Alyson would let her know the progress of the surgery. So she walked back towards the ER waiting room. Just in time to see Jasmine enter.
She rushed up to Stacey. “Is there any news?”
“He is still in surgery.” Stacey led her to the chairs where Stefan was sitting. She could hear him on the phone. He was wrapping up a conversation with his father.
“I’ll let you know when he’s out of surgery dad.” He rose as Stacey walked Jasmine over to the chairs.
Jasmine was shaking. Stacey was worried she would go into shock. Nurse mode kicked in. “Stefan, give Jasmine your jacket and if you can go down to the cafeteria and get an orange juice, that would be great.”
Stefan did as Stacey asked without question.
Jasmine still had tears streaming down her face. “I will never forgive myself if he dies. I wasted so much time on being jealous of you. We could have been together all this time. If he makes it I promise I won’t spend another minute of our lives arguing over your friendship. I am so sorry. Can you forgive me?”
“Jasmine, no apology is necessary. He loves you. That means I love you too. All I want is for him to be happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.” Stacey opened her arms; Jasmine embraced her and continued to cry on her shoulder.
Stefan came back with the juice and found them hugging each other. He looked uncomfortable, like he didn’t know what to do. Stacey extended her hand for the bottle. “Here Jasmine, you need to drink just a little bit
of this. I don’t want you passing out on me.”
Stacey dug through her purse and handed her a Kleenex. She blew her nose and hiccupped. Stacey almost laughed. She seemed so much like a little girl now, not the sophisticated vicious harpy that she sometimes came across as being. They sat and Stacey patted her back when the tears started again.
Hours passed and the three of them sat in silence. Stacey couldn’t believe that this had happened to Nick. He seemed to have everything going his way and for this to happen seemed cruel. She couldn’t think beyond the surgery because if she thought that he could possibly not make it, she wouldn’t be able to be strong for Jasmine and she seemed to need her strength right now.
Alyson finally came out. “He’s out of surgery. He’s stable. They had to remove his spleen. There is some damage to his back, but they don’t know how severe that is going to be. He may have to have physical therapy, but he’s going to make it.”
Stacey was so happy. But Jasmine seemed to snap. “Therapy? Is he going to be able to walk? Oh God, he’s going to be in a wheel chair for the rest of his life. What if he never is able to walk again? What are we going to do? Oh my God! ” There was an edge of hysteria to her voice.
“Jasmine. He is alive. The rest we will deal with as it comes. I think you should go home.”
“I can’t leave! He needs me. Leave? I can’t think. I can’t think.” Jasmine was flailing in Stacey’s grasp.
“I know you want to be here for him, but right now I’m worried about you.” Stacey turned to Alyson, “Can you have Dr. Whitaker prescribe a sedative for Jasmine?”
Alyson nodded her head and walked away.
“I don’t need a sedative! You just want to take the credit for bringing him through this. You’re going to be by his bed every day and cement your place in his life!” She was screaming at the top of her lungs.
Stacey shook her, “Jasmine. Calm down! You’re being irrational. I am only concerned for you. You seem to be on the edge and I think you should just come back when you’re calmer. Being this hysterical around Nick isn’t going to do him any good. He is receiving the best care possible, so we just need to take care of ourselves so we can help him when he needs us.”
She stopped crying, it was as though someone pushed her off switch. “You’re right. I am sorry. I just said I wasn’t going to waste time being jealous of you and at the first opportunity, I’m shrieking at you like a witch. I apologize. Can you take me home?”
Stacey was relieved that she was seeing reason. “Yes of course.”
Stacey looked at Stefan and his returning gaze told her he would stay with Nick, so she mouthed “Thank you.”
Stacey picked up the prescription from the hospital pharmacy and drove to Jasmine’s place. Jasmine was very despondent. She hadn’t said a word on the ride. Stacey found a glass, poured some water into it. Got her to lie down in her bed and made her take the pill and drink the water. She was asleep after about 30 minutes.
Stacey sat next to her bed thinking of Nick. His injuries were extensive, but he was alive. She really needed to be careful how she handled his recovery. She had to make sure that Jasmine was in on every decision, every step of the way. Jasmine didn’t seem to have the capability of dealing with a crisis, but that may have been the initial shock. Stacey couldn’t step aside and leave his care to someone else, but she would have to tread very carefully.
Stefan and Stacey had made such little contact during their time in the ER she wondered how he was doing. Jasmine had worn his jacket home, so she would have to catch up with him to give it back. Her heart fluttered at the certainty of seeing him again.
He was so handsome. She wanted him with every fiber of her being. How could she let another minute go by without letting him know that she loved him? Just seeing how close Jasmine and she came to losing Nick made her never want to feel that kind of hurt for another person. But that was being cowardly. And of all things she knew about herself, she knew she wasn’t a coward.
She had to get to him now. But she shouldn’t leave Jasmine alone. She scrolled through Jasmine’s phone trying to recognize names from past conversations. As luck would have it, there was a number listed under MOM.
Stacey called the number. “Hello?” the lady on the other line answered.
“Hi. You don’t know me, but I’m a friend of your daughters.” It sounded strange to call Jasmine a friend.
“Yes? Is everything ok?” Stacey could hear the concern in her mother’s voice.
Stacey was quick to put her mind at ease. “Yes she is fine; it’s just that her boyfriend has been in a car accident. She isn’t handling it too well. “
The number was a 301 number so Stacey felt confident that she was close by. “Was she in the car too?” the mother asked.
“No, but she had to be sedated, she was a little hysterical. I need to get back to the hospital, but I didn’t want to leave her alone. Is there any way that you could come to her place and sit with her?” Stacey asked.
“Yes of course, I’ll be there within 30 minutes. Thank you so much for calling and letting me know.”
She arrived true to her word. Stacey opened the door for her and showed her to where Jasmine lay. Stacey left after giving Jasmine’s mom Monica her phone number.
When Stacey arrived back at the hospital, Stefan was nowhere to be seen. She was disappointed. She went to recovery to check on Nick and Alyson told her he would be in his own room pretty soon. The doctor would check on him during his rounds and then move him if he continued to be stable.
Stacey went to sit and wait. She was hugging Stefan’s jacket. His scent still clung to it. She really missed him. Right then, Stefan walked up to Stacey. He had bottled water in his hand. She wasn’t sure what to say and how to broach the subject. Stacey felt so tired. She wanted nothing more than to lean into his strong frame and take comfort in his embrace, but she could still feel the gulf between them.
Then she asked herself, what happened to her resolution of not letting this distance between them go any further?
“I know this is a bad time, but I wondered if we could talk?” Stefan asked.
Her stomach lurched at his tone. This didn’t sound good. Stacey sighed and said, “Sure.”
“I just wanted to say I am sorry. And I wondered if you could give me another chance?”
It was so unexpected; Stacey didn’t know how to respond. She kept looking up at him like he was kidding, she was ready for the joke to be revealed, but he just held her eyes pleading silently. When Stacey realized that he really meant it, she jumped up and threw her arms around his neck.
He laughed, “I was worried there. You took so long to answer; I thought you were trying to find a way to let me down easy.”
They kissed with passion and urgency. Stacey felt like she couldn’t get close enough to him. She wanted to be anywhere alone with Stefan, but they were in her place of business, so she pulled away. She held his hand to ensure that he was really there with her; that this really wasn’t just her fantasy coming to life.
“I am sorry too Stefan. I really want this thing to work out between us. And the best way to do that is to be honest. I’m not just a nurse; I’m Nick’s best friend, I’m Mrs. Horowitz’ care taker and I am your girlfriend. That means my attention is split, but it doesn’t mean that you’re less important to me. This is very new for me, I’ve never really been in a relationship this intense before, and so you have to be patient with me. I just don’t want to make you upset with me ever again. I saw too late that I should have just gone after you, but I didn’t know any better.”
“No, I probably wouldn’t have listened. I had to figure it out for myself. You see I have in a very short period of time fallen madly in love with you; it’s intense, scary and new to me too. So you have to be patient with me.”
Stacey looked at him. “You love me?”
He gazed into her eyes and said, “More than you know.”
“I tho
ught it was just me. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I thought that I was in love with you. It just seemed crazy that it could happen to so quick, so I kept trying to rationalize my feelings for you away.” It was such a relief to be able to admit her feelings to him.
“Yeah,” Stefan agreed. “I tried to do the same thing and it didn’t work.”
Stacey was amazed. This gorgeous specimen of a man loved her the way she loved him! How lucky could she get? Stacey squeezed his hand harder reassuring herself that he really was here.
“So what do we do now?” Stacey asked. Once it left her mouth, she worried how silly it sounded, but she wanted to know.
“Well I think that we should try to spend as much time together as possible. Especially since being without you this past week has been so torturous.” Stefan brushed a strand of hair back from her face and stroked her cheek.
Stacey’s heart raced at a frantic pace. She really never had been in a serious relationship but everything in her wanted to trust Stefan and give herself completely to him. But the week that they spent apart had scared her a lot. He had power over her to hurt her and it was a big leap of faith to let herself feel what she was feeling fully.
“You know Stefan; I have been so worried about how to make us work. I think I may be obsessing. So I am just going to follow your lead and hope for the best. All I know is that I don’t want to ever feel as bad as I did all this past week. Promise me that if you are ever feeling threatened by Nick that you’ll talk to me. Please don’t walk out of my life. I need you.” Stacey smiled at him. Truly hoping that he didn’t think she was as crazy as she felt.
“You got it. And let me assure you right now. I know that Nick is hurt and it’s going to be natural for you to take care of him. I am OK with that.”
Stacey hugged him. “Thank you so much for that Stefan. I had already considered what that would do to Jasmine and Nick. She wants to trust what she has with Nick, just as much as you want to trust what we are building. So I am going to do as much as I can to minimize how much I intervene in his recovery.”
Stefan arched an eyebrow at her. “You think you can really do that?” His tone was incredulous.
Stacey laughed. “I don’t know to be honest, but I’m going to give it my best shot because I know Nick and Jasmine are good together and I don’t want to get in the way of that.”
Just then Alyson came out and told us that Nick had been transferred to his own room, but he was still unconscious.
They both went to Nick’s room. He looked so peaceful sleeping. Stacey brushed a lock a hair off his forehead. “He looks like an innocent little kid.”
“He was never an innocent little kid.” Stefan chuckled.
“He’s been my best and only friend until you, Stefan. Thank you so much for understanding that I love him and it’s not a threat to us.” Stacey looked up at him and knew he saw her love for him shining in her eyes. She made no effort to disguise it. She was willingly lowering all her defenses. It was a big step. She didn’t know if he knew how big a step it was for her. But she was determined that Stefan would know he too was her priority.
So for the next week, Stefan and Stacey went out on dates whenever they weren’t working. They went to museums, art shows and live music venues. She got to know all of his likes and dislikes. They talked on the phone until all hours of the night. They even texted each other like a couple of teenaged kids.
Stacey saw Nick while she was on duty, but no more than that. Stacey did encourage Jasmine to take care of Nick, but she wasn’t really nurse material.
Stacey in no way tried to make herself look better than Jasmine, but she could feel the tension between Jasmine and herself start to build again.
The day Nick was released from the hospital Stacey pulled Jasmine aside. “Jasmine. I know you can do this. You can take care of Nick and I am confident that you will be able to meet all of his needs.”
She burst into tears, “Oh Stacey. I can’t! I’ve been struggling on how to ask you, but can you please look after him while he goes through physical therapy?”
Stacey was shocked. She thought Jasmine wanted her as far away from Nick as possible.
Jasmine continued. “Please don’t think I’m a horrible person, but I just can’t bear to see him in this weakened state.”
Stacey understood what she was going through. “Jasmine, I make no judgments on you whatsoever. And of course I’ll take care of Nick. I just didn’t want you to feel threatened by my being around him all the time.”
She blushed. “I know that is something you would have had to worry about, but I’ve been watching you with Stefan. I have absolutely nothing to worry about. That guy is crazy about you and you’re crazy about him. So I am more inclined to trust you around my guy.” She smiled at her and winked.
Stacey laughed. The mind of a woman never ceased to amaze her. She had no idea Jasmine had even noticed her and Stefan together. It gave her a feeling of pride because Stefan was hers. He made that abundantly clear when they were together. He was always touching her. He was either playing with her hair, holding her hand, or with his arm around her waist.
“He is hot isn’t he?” Stacey giggled.
Jasmine and Stacey laughed, just as Alyson was wheeling Nick out of his room to be discharged. He took both of them in and said, “I don’t even want to know what that’s about.”
Which made Jasmine and Stacey laugh harder.
They took Nick back to his home and got him settled into his bed. Jasmine looked so uncomfortable Stacey told her to go. Once she was out the door, Nick said “Thanks.”
“What for?” Stacey asked.
“For getting Jasmine out of here. I hate for her to see me like this.” Nick shifted on the pillows and Stacey went and fluffed up one behind his back.
“You two really do belong together. It’s nice to see. But down to business. I am not an easy task master. You cannot just lie in this bed. The bed will sap your strength, so when I say it’s time to get up and take a short walk, I want no lip from you young man.”
“Somehow I knew you would be. I promise to be a good patient. I want you to be able to get you back to your life as soon as I can. I don’t want to cause a problem with Stefan. It seems like things are going well between you two.”
“Things are great.” Stacey smiled.
“Have you two done it yet?” Nick asked.
Stacey blushed hotly, “NICK!”
“I take that as a no. Well do you need me to give you the tutorial?” He asked seriously.
“Nick, I did have classes about reproduction, so I am pretty good with the basics.” Stacey didn’t really want to talk about this. Nick knew she was a virgin, but it wasn’t something she liked to talk about.
“Does he know that you are a virgin?” Nick asked.
Stacey dropped her head and mumbled, “We haven’t talked about.”
“You need to tell him Stacey May. For a guy like Stefan, he’s probably wondering why it hasn’t happened already.” Nick said kindly.
“I know Nick; it’s just that I don’t want it to be a big deal.” Stacey said dejectedly.
“Well sweetie, it is a big deal. You’re 28 years old and if you’ve waited this long, then you need to make sure it’s perfect when it happens. And if Stefan knows, he’ll treat you differently.”
Stacey’s head snapped up. “That’s exactly what I don’t want, to be treated differently.”
“You’ll regret it if you don’t tell him Stacey and he’ll be upset with himself and you too. You’ve got to come clean.” He took her hand and squeezed it.