Nick woke up thinking about Stacey. He really loved her. He loved her enough not to inflict himself on her romantically. But felt a stab of jealousy at the glow that Stefan had so easily put on her cheeks. He wondered how their date had gone.
If it had been any other man he wouldn’t have allowed the relationship to proceed. That sounded arrogant to his own ears, but he knew if he had discouraged her at all, Stacey would have listened to him and not gone out on the date. It was a responsibility he didn’t take lightly.
Stacey was an amazing gift to his life and he didn’t take her for granted. She had been there for him during the darkest time in his life and he really felt he wouldn’t have made it had it not been for her strength and compassion.
It still irked him that Jasmine couldn’t see Stacey wasn’t a threat to what they had. He missed Jasmine. On several occasions he had his phone in hand ready to dial her number. She was still programmed in his phone for speed dial. Number two behind Stacey.
He wanted to call Stacey but worried that he would be interrupting an intimate moment between her and Stefan. He guessed the shoe was on the other foot now. How many times had Stacey have to make those types of considerations for him?
Just then his phone rang; he answered and smiled because it was Stacey. “Hey, Stacey May.”
“Morning Nick,” said Stacey.
Nick waited to pick up on her tone to determine whether or not the date had gone well.
“How did your date go with Stefan?” He prompted.
She began to tell him about her date and he could tell that it went well. She was bubbly and effervescent. His heart lurched a little at what this might mean. He’d had her full attention for so long, that he didn’t like the thought that he was going to have to share her. It was a new experience.
He was an only child, so sharing wasn’t something that came naturally to him. He recognized that within himself and knew he would have to keep a tight control on trying to manipulate her like he did other women. It was so easy for him to do that, it was something he worked hard; really hard not to do to Stacey.
Stacey wasn’t oblivious to it though. Several times she called him on it and just told him flat out that he could just be straight with her. It was a novel concept. His therapist just kept telling him to examine himself to be aware of his behavior and its effect on people. He thought it was a load of crap, but in some ways therapy was helpful.
It definitely kept him on a more straight and narrow path than the one he had been on.
Stacey was saying something about how wonderful the evening had been and he focused on what she was saying rather than just the tone. “So you two didn’t do it then?”
He could envision her face at his bluntness and smiled.
She exclaimed, “Nick!”
“Well did you?”
“Could you be anymore crass?” Exasperation colored every word.
He wished he could have been there to see her face. He loved to provoke her. It was so much fun and it was so easy.
“Yes I could be crasser, but I chose not to be Stacey. Answer my question.” He could tell she didn’t want to answer him. This, from his deduction meant that it hadn’t happened, but he waited for her to tell him that.
When she did confirm it, he was relieved. But wasn’t sure why. That was something else for the next therapy session.
He hung up with Stacey feeling mixed emotions. He was happy she was happy. But he was also feeling a little territorial. She was his Stacey.
Stefan had been a good buddy for many years, and he didn’t want anything to ruin that. He counted Stefan and Stacey as the only true friends he had. The rest were just associates. So it worried him that his two anchors could end up on the outs. He would be in the middle and not happy about the fallout.
Because, Nick knew if anything bad happened he would have to take Stacey’s side. That thought weighed on him as he left to go get his car washed.
He was so preoccupied that when he was in the waiting area of the car wash, he didn’t notice Jasmine standing by the window. She noticed him and spoke, “Hello Nick.”
There was a wealth of sadness in her tone. Did she regret her mistakes in their relationship as much as he did? “Hello Jasmine. How are you?”
“I am well, and yourself?” Her tone now held a defensive edge to it; he could see the walls had gone up.
It saddened him. He really had loved her. Still did if he were honest with himself. “I am fine. How are things at work?” Nick was being polite, but still trying to figure out a way to draw her in. Looking at her, she was just so beautiful. His body grew warm remembering the nights of passion that they shared.
“Same as always.” She replied.
There was an awkward silence.
Finally he fell back on his womanizing habits that had served him so well. “You look stunning. But then you always do.”
She smiled, but it was sad like she had seen through his attempt to charm her. “How is Stacey?”
“She is good. She’s actually dating my buddy Stefan.” For some reason he wanted her to know Stacey wasn’t a threat.
“Well that’s a surprise. Are you OK with that?” She asked genuinely thinking that he wouldn’t be.
“Yes Jasmine. I am. I want her to be happy.” Nick said, trying to take the defensiveness out of his tone.
She grunted like that she didn’t believe him. “Happy with someone besides you? How are you dealing with not being the center of her universe? Or is she still dropping everything to be with you at the drop of a hat?”
The attendant who had been detailing her car waved a towel to indicate that her car was complete.
“Never mind. I really don’t need to know. Glad you’re well. It was good to see you.” With that she turned and walked off without a glance back.
At that very moment Nick decided he wanted Jasmine back. There was no one else who could get to him the way she did. The passion that sparked between them was still there. But there was also a lot of hurt. She was one hell of a woman and he had been unfair to her. He hoped it wasn’t too late.
He drove to Stacey’s determined to figure out a plan of action. Once he got to her place, he thought about using his key, but stopped himself. Stefan could have come by and it wouldn’t look good to just walk in on them. So he knocked on the door, impatient to talk to Stacey.
Stacey opened the door. “Oh, it’s you. Why didn’t you just use your key?”
“I didn’t know if Stefan was going to be here or not.” He said.
“Well that was good thinking.” Stacey looked at Nick and she could immediately tell he had something on his mind. It didn’t take him long to come to the point.
“What’s wrong?”
“I want Jasmine back.” He stated flatly.
Stacey could tell from his tone that he was serious, but it came as a shock to her. He hadn’t mentioned her in months. “What brought this on?” she asked.
“I think about her a lot, but I just ran into her. She was cold and abrupt. But I could feel the fire beneath the surface. We still have it. I want her.” He spoke with fervor.
Stacey didn’t want to dampen his enthusiasm, but she had to be honest with him. “You really hurt her Nick. She may not be able to accept another go round with you.”
“I know. But I have to try. She is a great fit for me. If I can just make her understand that you’re not a threat to any relationship we would have.” He paced back and forth.
“Nick it may be too late for that. You broke up with her because of me. Not the romantic reason, but you made it clear that I was a line she couldn’t cross. That’s not going to change, so what are you going to tell her to make her give you another chance?” Stacey asked quietly.
“Dammit Stacey I don’t know, but I know I want to try! You’ve got to help me.” Nick sounded desperate.
She led him over to the sofa and sat him down. “OK, you know I will do
whatever you need me to. But let me just point out the obvious for just one second.”
Nick nodded his head and she continued. “She wanted to get married. If you’re going to pursue her, you have to be ready to see if that’s a step you’re ready to take. It wouldn’t be fair to get involved with her wanting different things.”
Nick was silent.
“Also, you are going to have to find some way to assure her that she is the priority. Nick I love you, but it wasn’t fair for you to put that much weight on our relationship. You used us to push her away because you were scared of the commitment. So you have to be honest with yourself about that.”
Nick nodded his head.
“Then you have to be honest with her. Until you can do that, she will see through any attempts you make at reconciliation. You won’t stand a chance.” Stacey said gently.
Nick cleared his throat. “Boy you know how to burst a bubble.”
Stacey hugged him and said, “I am just telling you what you know for yourself deep down.”
“Yeah, but it’s hard to hear it.” Nick said dejectedly.
“I am sorry for that, but I only want what’s best for you. You’ll end up hurt if you rush into this. You broke up with her and it is going to be hard to win back her trust. Give it some time and go slow.” Stacey patted Nick’s arm.
Nick leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve got to try Stacey. She really is a wonderful woman. And you’re right, I used you as an excuse to break up with her because I was scared of how serious things had gotten. But I do stand by my reaction to how she treated you. It’s going to be tricky to work that out. She may take comfort that you’re with Stefan now.”
Stacey shook her head, “But you don’t want to use that Nick. It’s got to be about the two of you. Show her you’re ready to make a commitment and I don’t think she will be threatened by me. It’s just obvious to anyone who spends any length of time around us how much we care for one another and society has to label everything, so they label us as lovers or would-be lovers. You can understand why Jasmine would be suspicious of how close we are.”
“We are more complicated than that.” Nick said.
“And simpler than that.” Stacey said
They both laughed at the irony.
Stacey yawned widely. “Late night huh?” Nick asked.
“Not really, don’t know why I’m so tired. But I’m about to get moving and take some food to Mrs. Jones house, her husband passed away.” Stacey said as she got up from the sofa they shared.
“Oh that’s too bad, you need a hand?” Inquired Nick.
“No I got it sweetie. Besides you have some hardcore thinking to do.” Stacey said seriously.
Nick left and Stacey really was tempted to lie back down and sleep for another hour, but got going instead.