For a while she said nothing, and he could almost picture her smiling. “This could be interesting. Maybe God’s getting your attention.”
“Yeah.” He headed for the back door of Dayne and Katy’s house. “Maybe that.”
Half an hour later, after he’d been dropped off at Bailey’s house, and after he’d said hello to her family—all of them getting ready for the party—he asked Bailey if she’d sit with him in the family’s backyard.
“It’s freezing out there,” she gave him an uncertain look. “You sure? Outside?”
Her dad must’ve overheard him, because he was walking by the family room just then and he pointed out back. “I started a fire in the pit…figured it’s a clear night even if it’s cold. Some people might want to sit outside.”
Brandon swapped a look with Bailey, his more pleading. “Could we?”
A laugh came over her, as if she couldn’t quite tell him no—at least not on this. “I’ll get my coat.” She started to run off, then stopped and turned back. “And one for you. California boy with the lightweight jacket.”
While she was gone, her dad told him about the stack of wood not far from the fire. “Build it up. But not too big, unless you’re going to stay out there.”
Brandon agreed, and Bailey returned wearing a brown coat with a fur-lined hood. She handed him a black North Face jacket. “This’ll keep you warm.”
He wanted to say he’d prefer if she kept him warm, but he let the thought go as soon as it hit him. She made him dizzy, no question. He’d never met a girl like her, and he wasn’t giving up. The young coach wasn’t pursuing her—at least not as far as Brandon could tell—so he’d find a way to make her fall for him someday. He’d have to work harder, but he was ready for the challenge. Already this week she’d agreed to do another Jeremiah Productions picture with him. This time she’d play his girlfriend, so there was hope.
But today wasn’t about any of that. He was here because God wouldn’t leave him alone, and right now more than fame or money or movies…even more than Bailey Flanigan, he wanted answers. Answers and certainty that he wouldn’t go to hell if he didn’t make it home tonight. That he wouldn’t start the New Year headed down the same path he’d been headed before filming Unlocked.
He and Bailey walked across her back patio, past her covered built-in pool and hot tub, along a path out to the open field behind her house. “Your house should be on that MTV Cribs show.” He grinned at her, not sure how to get serious about what was on his heart.
“I guess the producers asked my dad once.” Bailey made a face. “He said no, because…” she shrugged, “that’s not why we have the house. It’s nice and big and all, but my parents taught us to think of it as…I guess sort of like a church. We use it for Young Life and church youth groups, team parties. Whoever needs it, you know?”
“Yeah.” Brandon didn’t know at all. He owned a house like this with a staff of help, but the last time he had someone over who didn’t work there…his stomach turned at the memory and he looked down, unable to meet Bailey’s eyes. See, this is how I don’t want to feel…I don’t want to be that guy anymore, God…give me the words. Help me explain myself.
They reached a five-foot section of fallen tree trunk the Flanigans had placed strategically near the fire pit. There were four other sections like it making a circle, and beyond that there were chairs—enough seating for twenty people easily. “Best fire pit I’ve ever seen.” He lifted his eyes to hers, but only briefly. The memory of the girl at his house still strangling him. “You’re right about the cold. Especially out here in the open.” Before he sat down, he pulled two large logs from the woodpile and placed them at different angles over the small fire. “There.” He dusted the wood chips off his hands. “That’ll help.”
They sat down on the fallen tree section opposite the direction the smoke was blowing. Brandon intentionally left considerable space between them. He didn’t want to be distracted by her nearness. Plus, he wanted to see her face, so he could really understand what he was feeling and her opinion about it. He stared at the fire, organizing his thoughts, looking for a starting point. He breathed in deeply and took in the moment, the starlit sky overhead and the smell of campfire, the love and warmth that filled the Flanigan home. Like at the lake on the last day of filming, the words came before he was sure what to say. “I spent half the day sitting on Dayne and Katy’s back deck…thinking about my life.”
Bailey pulled up one knee and hugged it to her chest, her eyes sparkling from the light of the fire. “New Year’s Eve does that to me too.”
He looked at her briefly, but then he turned to the fire again, still sorting. “I’ve done a lot of stupid things. An awful lot.”
She could’ve pointed out that she wasn’t surprised, given his reputation, or that he didn’t need to list his indiscretions because she’d watched them play out on the tabloid covers. But instead she reached out and put her hand on his shoulder. Not for long—only a few seconds—but long enough so he knew she cared. This was why he’d come, right? Because he’d known without question she wouldn’t judge or criticize or mock him.
The feel of her hand on his shoulder stayed with him, encouraging him to continue. “I did something I never should’ve done.” He leaned over his knees and wrung his hands together. “I was at a club before we filmed, and some girl…she knew I was starring in Unlocked. She was…surprised I’d star in a Christian film.” He shook his head, disgusted with himself. “I told her not to look for me to become a Christian anytime soon.” He angled his head so he could see her. “Because you know, when I was a kid I never really gave my life to Christ. And that night I sort of promised I never would.” He sighed, wrestling his emotions. “Those words haunted me all night. But I guess, after a while I forgot about it.”
He wasn’t sure he could tell her everything, all the awful details of his recent life. The girl at his house, the drugs…The memories of who he’d allowed himself to become made him sick. Darkness was closing in around them, and Brandon was glad for the fire. The heat cut the chill running through him. “Anyway, those words came back to me today.” He sat up straighter and shifted so he could see her. “You told me God brought me here…because He was calling me back.” He nodded, his head moving only the slightest bit. “I didn’t think so then, but now…I think you’re right.”
“Not only that,” her voice was faint and it mixed with the slight breeze swirling around the pit and the sound of the crackling fire. “I think that’s why I got the part. Because God wanted you around people who would help you hear His voice a little better.” She gave him a partial smile. “You know?”
He smiled, touched by her statement. “You won the part because you deserved it. Plain and simple.”
“Maybe.” She shrugged one shoulder. “I guess I just see the big picture. I mean, acting’s fine, but what’s the point, Brandon? You and I in a movie together…The Bible says all good things are a gift from God.” Her simple smile made her look like a much younger girl. “So why would God give me this part…except to have an influence on you?”
The possibility filled his mind with wonder, because maybe she was right. A book comes along that sweeps the country, and he falls in love with the story same as everyone else. He has a chance to star in the film, and he jumps at it—not realizing the story’s bound to be considered a Christian picture. In the end he’d told Bailey the truth—the only reason he’d taken the part was because of her, because of something special about her. Something he couldn’t define at first.
Maybe the special part of Bailey was God in her life—the Lord at work in her heart and soul.
“I guess what I’m saying is, I want to change.” He felt his expression change, felt himself grow more serious. “I’m sick of the old me.” He clenched his teeth, filled with a sudden rush of anger and hurt. “Sick of blaming God for something my dad said ten years ago.”
Bailey slid closer to him and put her hand on his shoulder again. “You can
change if you want to. You can decide that right here…tonight.”
“That’s what I wondered. I mean, I was raised in a Christian home, but in the end…in the end I walked away not believing any of it.” He swallowed, nervous and unsure. “I mean, shouldn’t I take a class or read a book or something? I can’t just decide, right?”
Her smile did more to warm him than the blazing fire a few feet away. “Of course you can. A life of faith starts with a single decision.”
“But then what?” He rubbed the back of his neck, unsure. “I mean, so I decide…how does that change anything?”
“It’s a beginning. You’ve been reading the Bible, right?”
“Yeah, with Katy and Dayne. On my own too—since I’ve been back home.”
“So that’s God’s letter to us, God’s way of helping us live a life of faith.” Bailey explained that making a change involved admitting past mistakes and acknowledging the need for a Savior in Jesus Christ. “And getting baptized. Jesus talks about that too.”
“We read that.” He had loved that part of his Bible study. “Dying to the old self and coming up out of the water brand new…ready to live for God instead.”
“Exactly.” Bailey gave his shoulder a tender squeeze and then folded her arms in front of her. “You understand more than you think. But it’s a big decision, Brandon.”
“It is.”
“Because everyone’s watching you.” She slid a little closer to the fire and warmed her hands together. “Make a choice like this, and you almost have to be willing to tell the whole world.”
He nodded slowly. The idea seemed terrifying, because what if he made a decision here and couldn’t follow through? But it seemed comforting too. Like he would be at peace finally. “That’s the other thing you said at the lake…the purpose of celebrity.”
“Right.” Her look was tender and kind, more understanding than he could’ve hoped for. “Your fame…that’s why you have to be sure.”
“So…I turn my life around and then the whole world waits for me to fall?” This was part of the problem, right? The reason he hadn’t wanted anyone to think he was a Christian before.
“Maybe you step out of the spotlight for a while.” The light from the fire shone on Bailey’s face. “Sure…hang out in bars and clubs and you’re bound to be in the tabloids. But stay home on a Friday night and read your Bible, or go to church Sunday morning. Then see who wants to write about you.”
Brandon sat up straighter. She had a point. “I could try that.”
A slow breath slipped between Bailey’s lips and she looked at the flames for a minute. “I guess the bottom line is what’s in your heart.” Her eyes met his again. “How badly you want to change.”
The urgency from earlier returned in a rush. He didn’t care what the world thought or what he might have to give up. He didn’t want to go to sleep tonight without knowing he was safe. That he and God were right—for the first time since he’d left home. “I want it.” He stared at her, unblinking. “I want it more than my next breath.”
“Okay,” she breathed in sharp through her nose. “So you want to make a decision about living for Jesus? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Yes.” The smoke was still blowing the opposite direction, and the fresh wood was fully burning, warming the air between them. “I want that right now.”
Bailey didn’t hesitate. She reached out and took hold of his hands. “I’ll lead, okay? And if you agree with what I’m praying, then you pray it after me.”
Already Brandon felt the beginning of a release, like every wrong thing he’d done and every regrettable statement he’d uttered were gathering in one dark corner of his heart. He nodded. “Go ahead.”
Bailey’s prayer was as simple as it was beautiful. She prayed the way she talked, like holding a conversation with God was as natural as sitting by a bonfire on a cold, clear winter’s New Year’s eve night. She acknowledged she was a sinner, and she could never be good enough to deserve a place in heaven. Brandon reiterated that part of the prayer with emphasis. No question he was a sinner. That’s why he hadn’t been sleeping at night.
She went on to state that she believed Jesus was God’s Son, and that He had died for her. Brandon agreed fully, and he prayed as much. “Finally, Lord, I’d like to ask Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. Please, come into my heart so that I might be dead to myself and alive to you. I want to live for you, God. Only you.”
Something happened as Brandon opened his mouth to repeat that part of the prayer. Tears filled his eyes and caught in his voice. Because this was what he’d needed, what he’d wanted. It was the reason he was here, and Bailey was right. It was the reason he’d been drawn to take the role in Unlocked. God had planned this moment for him the whole time. And as he asked Jesus to be His Savior, as he asked Him to come into his heart and forgive him for his sins, he felt something he couldn’t remember ever feeling before.
Perfect light. The Light of the World was shining across the darkness in his heart, so that there were no hidden parts, nothing to be ashamed of. He was forgiven and whole, once and for always. When the prayer ended, Brandon released Bailey’s hands. He ran the back of his hands across his cheeks and sniffed. “I feel like…like my whole life has led up to this.”
“It has.” She laughed, and he saw that there were tears on her cheeks too. “You did it! You heard His voice and you ran to Him.” Another ripple of laughter danced on the night air. “Isn’t that great?”
Brandon felt new and whole and younger than he had in years. But he wanted something more. “You told me about baptism, about how it’s part of giving your life to God.”
“It is.” She nodded. “You read about it with Katy and Dayne, right?”
“Right.” An intense compulsion was building in him, as strong as the one to give his life to the Lord. Only this time he didn’t need to talk about what he was feeling. “I want that, Bailey. Right now.” He stood and stared across the open field at the covered pool and adjacent covered hot tub. His eyes found hers again. “Your party doesn’t start for an hour. So why not now? That’s what they did in Acts. They made a decision to follow Jesus, and they got baptized.”
Bailey looked like she wanted to argue, but instead she stood and slipped her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. “I don’t know…I mean, the water in the pool is freezing.”
“What about the hot tub?”
“Maybe a little warmer. We used it a few days ago, but…”
“I don’t mind cold.” He grabbed a stick from the ground and poked at the fire, making sure no big wooden pieces were sticking out of the pit. Then he dropped the stick and took her hand. “Come on! Let’s go get your dad. He’ll do it.”
Brandon was pretty sure he’d always remember the look on Bailey’s father’s face as they opened the patio slider and Bailey announced that Brandon wanted to get baptized. But as surprised as he might’ve been, he paused for only a few seconds. Then he was on his feet, rolling up his sleeves.
Ten minutes later, with Bailey and her brothers and mother gathered around, Jim Flanigan and Brandon climbed into the hot tub. It was cold, but Brandon barely noticed. All that mattered was the commitment he was making to his Savior. Jesus had died for him to have this second chance. Now he could climb in ice water if it meant living a life for God. Jim quoted a few Bible verses about baptism and making a public confession of faith.
Then he turned to Brandon and grinned. “I wasn’t expecting this tonight.” He put his hand on Brandon’s shoulder. “But I can’t think of any better way to bring in the New Year.”
With that he asked Brandon a series of questions. Whether Brandon understood his need for a Savior and if he truly wanted to accept Jesus’ gift of salvation. Brandon felt his heart practically bursting inside him. He wanted to pump his fist in the air with each positive answer. But instead he stayed focused, claiming each part of the process as his own.
Finally Jim came alongside him and put one hand on the back of B
randon’s head. “Brandon Paul, because of your public declaration of faith in Christ, I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit…buried with Him in baptism,” Jim eased Brandon back into the water, until he was covered, and then eased him up out of it. “And raised with Him to new life.” He hugged Brandon hard and patted his back. “Congratulations.”
This time nothing could stop Brandon. He thrust his fist in the air and grinned at the starry night sky. There were no words necessary, because his soul was shouting for joy and the feeling was beyond anything he had ever felt in all his life. Better than his first big break in Hollywood and better than fame, better than being wanted at every party and for every big role. And suddenly the ache in his heart was gone and he realized something in a reckless abandon sort of a way.
He was free!
His past wrongs and bad choices, his pride and errant ways couldn’t touch him now. He hugged Bailey’s dad again and then hurried out of the hot tub and hugged her. She had tears in her eyes, and she made a few soft sounds that were more laugh than cry. “What a night!”
He pulled back and searched her face, the light in her eyes. “Best night of my life.” Then again he looked up, and in that moment he could practically feel the arms of God around him, hugging him, holding him close. He would live the rest of his days for this love, this certainty, and all because the Lord had brought him to this picture, to this family. He turned to Bailey again. Because He’d brought him to this very special girl.
“I’m not sure,” his teeth clattered together a little, “I’ve ever felt this good.” It was true. He wasn’t sure he could force the smile from his face.
“We’ll remember this New Year’s Eve forever,” Bailey’s dad stepped out of the hot tub, water dripping from his shorts. “Best decision you’ll ever make, Brandon.”
Her dad patted him on the arm, and beside him Bailey laughed. “As happy as you two look, you’re both about to freeze to death.” She ran off across the patio. “I’ll get the towels.”