"Oh no," she said, looking over her shoulder at the storefront. "I can't let you pay for my postcards."
"I am Raffaele," he said, ignoring her protests, "but my friends call me Rafe."
Lily blushed under the heat of his gaze and the special meaning he had attached to the word "friends." She wished she had more practice at this sort of thing. What did one say to a gorgeous man when he was picking you up in a foreign country?
"And your name?"
Ah yes. Her name. Too bad she was too flustered to think of the simple things. "Lily," she said. "My name is Lily."
Rafe gave her another penetratingly beautiful smile and guided her into one of the outdoor wicker seats at the cafe. He snapped his fingers in the waiter's direction. Seconds later, two steaming cups of espresso were placed in front of them.
"American?"
Lily nodded.
"Beautiful," he said.
Rafe's accent licked around Lily like a warm blanket on a cold night. It seemed that being with Travis had opened her up on so many levels. While she didn't want to go to bed with Rafe--as gorgeous as he was, there was only one man she had eyes for--she didn't mind the impromptu flirting lesson.
Conjuring up her latent inner-flirt, she pretended to misinterpret his compliment. "Yes, America is beautiful. But Italy is stunning."
"No," he said, as he boldly ran one finger down her cheekbone, "you are beautiful, Lily."
Trying not to flinch from his overly forward touch, Lily raised an eyebrow, and said, "Tell me, Rafe, do you hit on every American woman who comes through town?"
It took her new friend a long moment to answer her question. His gaze barely wavering from her breasts, he said, "You are special, Lily."
Had she not been interested in learning the finer points of flirting to use on Travis later that night, Lily would have snorted her disbelief.
She might have been inexperienced, but even so it was perfectly clear to Lily that Rafe was playing the part of an obviously well endowed Italian (she would have been blind not to have noticed the huge bulge between his legs) who rescued lonely American female tourists. Which wasn't that bad a thing, really, considering how potent and sensual Rafe looked to be fully clothed. For the briefest of moments Lily let herself indulge in a little daydream about what it would be like to sleep with this anonymous Italian, trying not to feel guilty about Travis as she indulged her imagination.
"Who the hell are you?"
Lily's daydream was cut short by Travis's appearance. His anger was palpable. It was bad of her, but Lily couldn't resist the chance to see how much Travis truly wanted her.
"Rafe, this is Travis. Travis, this is Rafe."
She gave the introduction as if she were introducing the two men over tea in the garden, which only seemed to piss Travis off more.
Rafe looked from Lily to Travis with amusement. "Is this man your lover?" he said to Lily. From the tone of Rafe's voice, it was clear that he thought Travis to be a subpar American.
A giggle gurgled up in Lily's throat. She couldn't believe these two magnificent men were fighting over her.
Over little old me!she thought with glee.
Travis reached for her arm to drag her up out of her chair. "We're going to be late for our next meeting."
Lily made a show of fighting his presumptuous maneuver, but inwardly she was thrilled by his possessive actions. "Meeting? What meeting?"
Travis glared at her. "Forget it. I'll go by myself," he said. "I'd hate to interrupt you and your new friend when you're looking so cozy together."
He turned away and walked briskly up the street. Lily panicked. So much for testing her new feminine wiles and making Travis jealous. Instead, all she was succeeding in doing was driving him away. Lily felt like a nasty, terrible person. Travis had treated her to an incredible day, and she had repaid him by being a wanton flirt with the first guy who smiled at her.
Without so much as a backward glance at Rafe, Lily shot away from the table to run after Travis.
"Travis!" she yelled, hating the desperation in her voice. She fumbled for a way to smooth things over, saying, "Travis I--" but the look he shot her was so full of disgust that the words got stuck in her throat.
Her heart grew even heavier when Travis didn't speak to her during their walk back to the hotel. At the lobby entrance Travis's eyes were cold steel. "Don't ever play games with me."
He turned away from her and headed back into town.
Lily's heart stopped beating as she tasted the fear of losing Travis in her mouth. His sharp words were a cruel reminder that she would never be in his league.
What had she done? Her fantasy had quickly turned into a nightmare. Instead of a perfect evening to end their perfect day, Lily had screwed the whole thing up with her little game. Why had she felt the need to tease Travis with Rafe? How would she have felt if Travis had dangled a lithe, Italian beauty in front of her face?
Well, she would have expected it, thinking that her time was up and he was moving on to greener pastures. Even so, she would have let him try to explain.
Or would she? Lily thought about her outburst in Nonna's kitchen when she had attacked Travis for his "other women." And now she had flirted with a strange man in a cafe to try and get a rise out of Travis.
Lily cringed. She had thought that the quiet and insecure Lily was giving way to a sexually confident and adventurous woman. But now she wasn't so sure. Maybe she was just plain turning into a bitch on wheels. Seeing herself in this light wasn't pretty. Maybe she should go back to the old Lily. It wasn't nearly as much fun, and she would never experience such mind-blowing sex again, but all in all it was so much safer.
"Ah, Lily," Giuseppe said, pleased to see her. "How was your day? What do you think of our little town?"
Lily gulped back her unshed tears. She didn't want Giuseppe to think she didn't love Saturnia. Because she did with all her heart. "It's wonderful, Giuseppe," she said, forcing a wide smile that never made it to her eyes.
He nodded slowly, sensing something was wrong. "Good, good," he said, scratching his chin. "And where is Signor Carson? Getting a bottle of wine for a romantic evening, perhaps?"
Lily's bottom lip trembled, and she knew she had to get up to the room or she would embarrass herself in front of the kind man. "Yes, probably," she said, then added, "I think I'll go up to our room to take a nap now," before hurrying up the stairs to the room she and Travis shared. She closed the door behind her with a soft click.
That's when the tears started falling.
And didn't stop.
TRAVIS HEADED FOR THE NEAREST BAR. His chest had a gaping hole in it, one that only alcohol could cure.
He ordered a shot of whisky. It burned a path down his throat, but Travis welcomed the pain. One more, then two. But drinking wasn't making anything better. It wasn't even making him drunk. A waste of perfectly good whisky.
A dark-eyed girl at the end of the bar kept trying to get his attention by shaking her breasts farther and farther out of her low-cut top. Several times he'd almost gotten out of his chair to make his move. That would show Lily, he thought.
Who was he kidding? Booze didn't have a chance in hell of curing what ailed him. Big breasts on some Italian stranger weren't gonna do it either.
He wanted Lily.
And Lily wanted to screw some stranger.
Travis lifted a finger in the bartender's direction for shot number four and swiveled around on his stool to stare at the stranger's breasts again.
Which only made him think about Lily's breasts, worlds plumper and softer than any he had ever touched, ever tasted.
He slammed his fist down on the thick wooden bar. That scum bag at the cafe had been about to fondle Lily's breasts right there at the table. Travis had nearly jumped across the nearby tables to pummel the man into bloody pulp.
His pride was ground deep into the mud. It was a strange, awful sensation. They all were.
Losing control.
Being jealous.
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Wanting Lily again and again, never feeling like he had enough of her.
The shot glass at the edge of his lips, Travis realized he had a hard choice to make. Was Lily worth it?
The answer hit him square across the chest, knocking the breath right out of him: Of course she was worth it. Only a complete idiot would turn his back on this kind of happiness, this kind of pleasure, this kind of unbelievable sex. And if he wanted to claim more of the incredible joy that being with Lily had granted him, he'd have to face his demons head-on, not sit hunched over a bar downing whisky shots.
Throwing several euros on the counter, Travis left the bar. He had one quick side trip to make before he went back to the hotel room. If he played his cards right, maybe he could convince Lily that he was worth another chance after all.
11
LILY FELT LIKE AN IMPOSTER in her pretty silk dress. Not to mention the fact that the delicate material was splattered with tears. She rummaged through her suitcase and pulled out a crumpled heap of linen at the very bottom of her bag. Throwing her silk dress into a corner, she put on the dumpy linen shift that Janica referred to as her Mrs. Potato Man dress.
The awful dress worked its frumpy magic immediately. Lily felt completely invisible.
She tried not to think about where Travis was. Or, rather, whom he was with.
Hoping a good book would take her mind away from her pain, she grabbed the novel she had been unable to read on the airplane from her suitcase. Padding into the living room, she curled up into a ball under a soft blanket. But not even the steamy sex scenes held her attention.
Dropping the book onto the coffee table, she stared out at the rolling hills beyond the window of her hotel room and tried not to cry. This would teach her for thinking she could overstep her boundaries in life.
Thin, pretty girls got to have all the fun. Big women got to watch with envy.
The sound of the heavy wood door opening startled her and she looked up, wide-eyed, from beneath the blanket and heaps of pillows. Travis stood in the doorway. When his eyes locked with hers, Lily couldn't fight the burst of hope that swelled within her chest.
He was so beautiful. That was the problem. It had always been the problem, even when they were kids, and he deliberately didn't choose her for his soccer team at recess. Even then she had gazed at him with wonder.
His dark hair looked windswept, not unlike they way it looked in the aftermath of their lovemaking. His lips were full, yet incredibly masculine. Where they curved up ever so slightly at the corners, Lily wanted to lick with the tip of her tongue. His green eyes gleamed with promise, and Lily shivered, even wrapped in the heavy throw.
He looked uncertain as he asked, "Can I come in?"
Mute, unable to believe he had returned to her instead of going off with some Italian hottie, Lily nodded. She backed up farther into the pillows as he joined her in the living room.
Travis sat down on the edge of the couch, and Lily finally noticed the brown paper bag he clutched in his hand. He set it down next to her novel.
"Lily," he said, then cleared his throat, looking up toward the frescoed ceiling as if searching for the words there.
Finally, Travis turned to face her and her breath went. The truth of her feelings smacked her across the face like a wet towel, and she visibly flinched in response.
She would never be able to look at him without loving him. No matter how awful he was to her, she would always love Travis. It was her cross to bear.
"Lily," he began again, "I know I'm not very good at this, but...''He paused again and half grinned. The smile didn't last long, though. When it fell away, Travis looked more beaten down than ever.
Lily's heart broke. If only there were a drug that could cure heartache.
Two a day for life and she might be able to manage.
"I acted like a complete jerk this afternoon, and I'm sorry." His words came out in a rush.
Lily detected a hint of self-loathing behind his apology. Surely she was mistaken? She had never known anyone more confident than Travis.
At her continued silence, Travis shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "I brought a peace offering," he said, gesturing to the brown paper bag.
Lily eyed the bag. "Let's see it," she croaked out of her tear-ridden throat. She sniffled once, and Travis's eyes roved over her face.
"I made you cry."
He reached out for her, but Lily cringed even deeper into the cushions. It was a vicious cycle: She wanted Travis to comfort her, but he was the reason she needed to be comforted in the first place.
Sick, sick, sick, she thought, vowing to be strong in the face of temptation, no matter what from then on.
He got up off the couch. "My stupid peace offering sucks. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm a jealous bastard who can't control--"
Lily sat up. "You're what?"
Travis sat back down. "A jealous bastard?" he repeated, searching her eyes.
The first hint of a smile crept across Lily's face. "And?"
"And...I can't help it, Lily."
"You can't?" The smile won.
Travis shook his head and sighed. "No. I can't. Another guy so much as looks at you, and I want to beat him senseless. Being in Italy with you has been killing me. I'm going to have to get a machine gun to deal with all of the scum I want to take down from the way they look at you."
"Wow," she said, hardly able to believe what Travis was saying. "You're actually jealous." Travis looked distinctly uncomfortable, and Lily couldn't resist letting him live with it for a while. But not for too long.
"So how were you planning on making it up to me?"
So much for being strong in the face of temptation, she thought. But how could she resist him? Not only had she gotten an apology, but Travis had admitted that he was jealous, and he'd brought a peace offering.
Maybe everything would work out okay after all.
Travis pulled a container out of the plastic bag.
Lily shot up off the couch and grabbed the carton from him. "Chocolate gelato?" Her voice was shrill and distinctly unpleasant. Sometimes, she realized, the only thing a woman could be was a grade-A bitch. Particularly when a man was responsible for pushing her too far.
She threw the gelato at Travis with all her might. The container split open and splattered all over him. His hair, his face, his shirt, his pants. All covered with sticky sweet, dark brown Italian ice cream.
Travis wiped away the glob of gelato above his left eye. "Lily," he said in a placating tone, but Lily wasn't going to listen to one more minute of his lies.
"Is this some kind of sick and twisted joke? Tell the fat girl you're sorry, and then ply her with sugar and cream? You bastard!"
Her fists were coming at him. She wanted to hurt him as bad as he kept hurting her. She didn't want to remember, but she couldn't help it.
"Lily, Lily two-by-four. She can hardly fit through the door."
It was the day before Christmas break, and the teacher had thrown the kids a party. Cakes and cookies were strewn across the back table, and even though all of the other kids had eagerly gobbled them up, Lily was too self-conscious to eat anything in front of her classmates. But the lure of chocolate ice cream was too much for any twelve-year-old to bear. She scooped out a small portion of ice cream, telling herself that no one would notice. They were too busy playing games and eating their own bowls of ice cream.
But she had been wrong.
"Lily, Lily two-by-four. She can hardly fit through the door." She had looked up at Travis, begging him with her eyes to defend her. To tell the other kids to be quiet. But instead he just looked away and kept eating his cake.
Tears had filled her eyes as she ran into the girls' bathroom to hide. Travis hadn't even tried to stop them from making fun of her. He used to be her friend, but now he wasn't anymore. And that was the worst thing of all, worse even than some kid in class calling her fat.
The memory combined with the here and now, and Lily lost control. S
he threw her whole body behind her attack. She was going to tear the beautiful bastard from limb to limb.
"Lily! Stop hitting me." Travis imprisoned her wrists in his large hands. His mouth fell open, and he stopped apologizing when he saw her outfit. "What the hell do you have on?" he said, his surprise evident.
"What do you care?" she spat. "What does it matter? You can dress a cow up in fancy clothes, but she's still a cow. Isn't she?"
Lily dared him to disagree with her.
But instead of being intimidated by her fury, Travis's mouth set into a dangerous line. "How many times am I going to have to say this to you, Lily?" Each word hit her like a bullet.
"You. Are. Not. Fat."
Two tears ran down her cheeks, and the will to fight left her body. "I am. I always have been. I always will be. Lily, Lily two-by-four."
"No, sweetheart." His voice was more gentle than she'd ever thought it could be. "That was just a stupid kid who said those things."
"Why didn't you defend me?"
"I was scared."
"Of what?"
"Of you. I thought you were perfect."
"No."
"Beautiful."
"No."
"I loved you, Lily, even then."
Both Travis and Lily looked at each other in shock.
Travis took a deep breath, then smiled. "I love you." He swallowed, as if testing the words on his tongue, in his mouth. "I love you, Lily."
Lily's arms went limp as she leaned into Travis's warmth. Everything was instantly forgiven, and even though she wished she knew better, she didn't.
Travis had just said the words she had been longing to hear her whole life.
"You love me?"
Softer than a feather, Travis kissed her lips, and moved his hands past her wrists to intertwine with her hands. Lily was afraid to say anything that would break the spell. She was afraid Travis would start laughing, that he'd say, "Just kidding."
But then he whispered the words, "I always have," against her lips, and she was lost to anything but him.
With a groan that spoke volumes of desire, Travis threaded Lily's red locks between his sticky fingers. He tilted her head to get better access to her mouth. Lily opened wide for his invasion, meeting his passion with her own. Whisky merged with Travis's signature essence. He tasted like magic.
He pulled her tightly to him, cupping the huge bulge between his legs in the soft valley of her thighs. Lily wanted to sink into him, to be naked and filled all the way to the brim with his raw heat.