Owen experienced an odd spark of jealousy as Maddie hugged his twin brother. The spark died when he saw Jake pinch one of Maddie’s cheeks as if he were her elderly aunt or something.
“You clean up well, Wilson,” Jake teased, his gray eyes dancing with amusement.
“So do you,” she replied with a grin. She gestured to his black tux. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without camo pants and a T-shirt.”
“Mom would’ve killed me if I wore that to my big brother’s wedding,” Jake said with a sigh.
Owen smiled as he watched the exchange between Maddie and his twin. It brought him a weird sense of pleasure that she got along so well with his family. His mother had already pulled him aside and begged him to let her plan the wedding, a suggestion he’d merely laughed at. He definitely wasn’t ready for that, but the fact that he hadn’t been terrified when his mom said the word wedding told him that his feelings for Maddie were as strong as he’d suspected. He loved being with her, loved the sex, and now he was loving the way she interacted with his family. She was already growing closer to Charlotte, his new sister-in-law, and he’d even seen her joking around with his uncle Rice earlier.
“Are you going to tell us about the scar?”
Maddie’s question caught his attention, but as he’d figured, Jake simply shrugged and gave a secretive little smile. “Nope,” he said.
Her eyes narrowed, focusing on someone behind Owen. “And you,” she called, “don’t tell me you’ve been fighting battles too.”
Owen turned to see his younger brother approach. Austin’s appearance was probably even more startling than Jake’s—his face was thinner, his body a bit lean beneath his tuxedo, and as Maddie had noticed, he had a new scar too, a thin pink line along the curve of his jaw. But it wasn’t just Austin’s looks that troubled Owen. His little brother had barely said two words to their mother in the three days he’d been home, and Owen still couldn’t figure out what had gone down. Della had admitted that she and Austin had had a falling out, but he couldn’t seem to pry any details out of either of them. He knew he wouldn’t get any answers today either, not during Nate’s big day.
“No battles, just a knife fight in Johannesburg,” Austin said as he joined them, flashing his teeth in a nonchalant grin.
“A knife fight?” both Owen and Jake demanded.
Austin ignored the identical disapproving tones. “Some asshole was trying to steal my camera—what was I supposed to do, let him take it?”
“Yes,” the twins said in unison.
Austin looked to Maddie for backup. “Tell my brothers to stop worrying about me. I’m a big boy.”
Maddie grinned. “Big boys don’t play with knives, pal.” She glanced at Owen. “Would you mind getting me an iced tea? I’d get it myself, but your mom is standing by the drink table and I’m scared she’s going to ask me about wedding dresses again.”
“Coming right up, ma’am.”
As he hurried off to get her that drink, he heard his brothers laughing. Thought he heard one of them say “whipped.” But he ignored the good-natured teasing. He knew Jake and Austin loved Maddie, and if he was whipped, then so what. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this happy.
Like Maddie had warned, his mom was by the refreshment table, but fortunately she was chatting with Charlotte’s manager, leaving Owen to get Maddie’s drink without being harassed. As he poured iced tea from the large glass pitcher on the table, he caught a flash of movement from the corner of his eye, and turned to find a beautiful blonde standing next to him.
“Would you mind pouring me one of those?” she asked in a throaty voice.
He nodded rather than answering, taken aback by the gorgeous female beside him. She had the palest blonde hair he’d ever seen, nearly platinum, but it didn’t look dyed. Rather, her hair resembled strands of fine silk, plaited into a braid that hung over one shoulder. She had nice eyes too, a deep amber color, and the lavender dress she wore hugged a body that was both petite and abundant with curves.
She smiled at him as he handed her a glass of iced tea, and Owen was shocked by the flicker of arousal that tickled his body.
“I’m Kerry, by the way,” the blonde said, still smiling. “I played bass on Charlotte’s last tour.”
Owen just nodded again, all the while trying to figure out where that burst of attraction had come from. He wasn’t supposed to find other women attractive. And he definitely wasn’t allowed to feel aroused by anyone other than Maddie.
“You’re Nate’s brother, right?” Kerry pressed.
Another nod. When she smiled again, the tiny tug of attraction returned, making his head spin. Lord, how could this be happening? He was with Maddie. He was happy, damn it.
As his hands shook, he poured iced tea into another glass and took a desperate step to the side. “Uh, it was nice meeting you. I have to…uh, give this to someone.” He held up the glass as evidence, then darted away, feeling like he’d been punched in the gut.
Gulping down the lump in his throat, he headed back to Maddie, who was now talking to Lexie Price. The way he’d reacted to that blonde sent a tremor of shame through him. It had been a familiar reaction, one that usually led to a flirty exchange, a round of casual sex, and a good-bye. But all that was in the past, right? He was in love with Maddie. He’d never act on some traitorous pull of desire that drew him to another woman, even a hot one like Charlotte’s bassist.
Right?
The thoughts wreaking havoc on his brain confused the shit out of him. Swallowing, he tried to ignore them as he made his way over to Maddie.
“Are you sure you’re not angry?”
He halted at the sound of her hushed voice. She and Lexie had their backs to him, and he could see from the sudden stiffness of Lexie’s shoulders that she wasn’t happy with the current topic of conversation.
“I told you,” the other woman said, “it’s fine. I don’t care that you slept with Cooper. I really don’t—”
What?
As his chest tightened with shock, Owen took a hurried step to the side, ducking behind a group of his mom’s friends from her knitting club. For a moment he wondered if he’d imagined it, but Lexie Price’s cool voice continued to blaze through his mind.
I don’t care that you slept with Cooper.
Ice slithered trough Owen’s veins as he absorbed the horrifying thought. His hands curled into fists, one pressed against the trousers of his tux, the other nearly breaking the iced tea glass he’d brought for Maddie.
Maddie had slept with Cooper? Cooper Grady?
What. The. Fuck.
“Why are you so quiet?” Maddie asked, following Owen into his living room.
He made a sound that was a cross between a grunt and a grumble, which brought a wave of uneasiness to her stomach. He hadn’t said a word since they’d left the reception. Hadn’t even smiled when she’d suggested they spend the rest of the evening watching Jean-Claude Van Damme’s entire filmography. God, he could be so damn frustrating sometimes, especially when it came to revealing what was on his mind. So tight-lipped and stubborn about sharing his feelings.
“Are you angry about something?” she asked when he still didn’t utter a word.
Owen removed his tuxedo jacket and tossed it on the leather recliner next to the couch. “Should I be?” he finally said, his voice lacking any shred of emotion.
“I don’t know,” she retorted, biting back irritation. “Should you?”
Tightening his jaw, he flopped down on the couch and casually crossed his ankles together. “Well, I don’t really know. Is a man supposed to be angry when he finds out the woman he’s with slept with someone else?”
Shock crashed into her. “What?”
Owen looked at her with stormy gray eyes. “I overheard you and Lexie. You were talking about how you slept with Cooper Grady.”
Maddie nearly keeled over by the wave of guilt that swelled inside her. She stared at Owen, shame creeping up her spine and gra
bbing hold of her throat. She gulped a few times, afraid to meet his harsh gaze, but then she forced herself to snap out of it. She had no reason to feel guilty. She might have had sex with Cooper, but she’d done it before she and Owen agreed to see this relationship through.
“I did sleep with Cooper,” she said in a steady voice. “Before you and I got together.”
“So that makes it better?” he muttered.
“It doesn’t make it anything,” she said quietly. “Cooper and I had sex. Once. And it was after you pushed me away, saying you couldn’t get involved with me.”
“Are you in love with him?”
The hoarse question made her heart clench. “Of course not,” she said firmly. “Like I said, it was just sex.”
“Just sex,” he echoed dully.
After a second of hesitation, she went to sit beside him, placing her hand on his shoulder. “It wasn’t a big deal,” she murmured. “It happened one time.”
“I…” He raked a hand through his dark hair. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you agree that it isn’t a big deal.” She bit her bottom lip. “I don’t care that you slept with a ton of women before we got together. It doesn’t make a difference to me.”
“Oh really?”
She faltered. “It doesn’t. Everyone has a past, Owen. It’s the present and future that matter most.”
“I guess,” he said darkly.
“You guess?” Her irritation returned. “Are you saying you really can’t get over the fact that I slept with someone else—when we weren’t even together?”
His jaw twitched. “Maybe that is what I’m saying.”
Maddie’s eyebrows shot up. “You can’t be serious.”
He turned to meet her eyes, and she realized with growing dismay that he was serious. His features were taut, his expression blank, and she could see his throat working as he swallowed.
“I don’t know if I can look at you without picturing you having sex with that guy.”
She just gaped at him. “Wow. You’re being unbelievably ridiculous, you know that?” A panicked thought occurred to her. “Are you…are you breaking up with me?”
He didn’t answer.
Anger and disbelief formed a bitter cocktail that swirled in her gut. “Do you even want to know why I did it?”
More silence.
“Because I was insecure,” she growled. “After you pushed me away, I thought it was because my inexperience might have scared you off.”
His head lifted in surprise.
“I needed reassurance, okay? And Cooper was there, willing to give it to me.”
Owen stiffened at the mention of Cooper’s name. “So, what? You slept with him to get back at me for that night?”
“Of course not.” She stared at him in utter misery. “I just wanted to feel…wanted. Maybe it was silly, but I wanted to feel like I could handle myself in the bedroom, that I wasn’t some naïve schoolgirl who couldn’t turn someone on.”
Bitterness laced his next words. “Did you turn Cooper on?” Without letting her respond, he hurried on, his voice cold. “You claim you’ve been in love with me for years, and then we fool around, and three days later you hop into bed with another man. What am I supposed to make of that?”
“You can accept that maybe we both had some issues,” she said quietly. “Mine were about insecurity, yours about fidelity.”
He gave a humorless laugh. “Yeah, and the fact that you screwed Cooper Grady doesn’t really convince me that people are capable of being faithful to one another.”
Maddie shot to her feet, unable to believe what was happening. “So you’re saying I cheated on you when we weren’t even together?”
“I don’t know what I’m saying.” He sighed. “But I do know we need some time apart. Time for me to digest all this.”
“Digest it?” Wow. Maddie couldn’t control the annoyance pricking at her skin. Maybe she should’ve told him sooner about Cooper, but she didn’t regret what she’d done. She’d needed Cooper that night, though she probably shouldn’t be surprised that Owen didn’t understand. He was Mr. Confident when it came to sex. And he’d hooked up with countless airheads before they’d gotten together. You didn’t see her holding it against him. How could he be so willing to throw away something so good, something so—
She suddenly froze, another thought dawning on her.
“Oh for Pete’s sake,” she grumbled. “You’re doing this on purpose.”
Owen’s head shot up. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, eyeing her in suspicion.
“Oh yes, you do.” She eyed him right back, equally suspicious. “You’re in love with me, aren’t you?”
His jaw tensed again. “What?”
“You’re in love with me. That’s why you’ve been acting so strangely the past few days,” she said slowly. “Looking at me with that weird expression, as if you’re confused about something.”
Owen was shaking his head. “Stop trying to change the subject. This is about you sleeping with—”
“No, it’s not,” she interrupted, an amazed laugh slipping from her mouth. “This is about you. Being scared again. And fine, maybe you’re a bit jealous of what happened with Cooper, but I don’t think that’s what this is about. I know you, Owen. I know you better than you know yourself.”
His gray eyes flashed. “That’s rather presumptuous.”
“What’s presumptuous is you thinking you can just push me away again without me putting up a fight,” she shot back. “What happened today? You were so happy the past week, and now you’re back to holding me at arm’s length.” Frustration bubbled in her throat. “Tell me what got you scared.”
“Nothing got me scared,” he said gruffly.
“Okay.” She paused. “Tell me how you feel about me then.”
She glimpsed a flicker of panic in his eyes. “I…damn it, Maddie, what are you trying to do? Why can’t you accept that maybe I really can’t get over the fact that you slept with another—”
“Because you’re not a damned caveman, and even if it makes you jealous, I know you wouldn’t break up with me just because I was with another man before we got involved.” She let out a frustrated curse. “Why can’t you just tell me how you feel about me?”
He stared at her in obvious dismay.
“I have no problem telling you how I feel.” She sucked in a breath. “I love you, Owen. There. I said it. I’ve loved you for three years, and I love you now, and damn it, I want to know how you feel.”
“I…”
As he stammered, hesitated, raked his fingers through his hair again, Maddie was overcome with a rush of pure helplessness. He couldn’t do it. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how hard she pushed him, he couldn’t even tell her how he felt. And now he was ending things because something had scared him off again, and he was using her night with Cooper as an excuse. As a reason to cut and run, the way he did in every relationship he’d ever had.
“I’m done,” she announced.
His head jerked in her direction, his gaze becoming desperate as he looked at her. “What?”
“I’m done,” she repeated. “You want to break up with me? Well, tough. Because I’m breaking up with you.”
“Maddie—”
“Don’t,” she said, holding up her hand. “You’re pushing me away for no good reason. Instead of trying to understand why I might have slept with Cooper, you’re just using it as an excuse to shut down again. You’ve let some silly fear rule your life for years, which is a damn shame, because you have nothing to be afraid of. You’re nothing like your father. You’re kind and sweet and devoted, and I love you for it.” She exhaled a shaky breath. “But I’m done. If you’re not willing to let yourself love me, the way I love you, then I’m not wasting my time anymore.”
Her legs wobbled like a bowl of Jell-O as she staggered toward the door. Owen was still on the couch, and when she glanced over her shoulder, she noticed he looked a
little shell-shocked. Well, good. Let him be shocked. Or angry. Or whatever he was. She’d wasted three years of her life pining for this man and she wasn’t going to waste one more second.
“By the way,” she added as she reached the door, “I quit.”
Chapter Ten
Owen spent the rest of the weekend feeling as if he were in a hypnotic trance. He cleaned the house, went to dinner with his mother and brothers, drove Nate and Charlotte to the airport to send them off on their Hawaiian honeymoon. He ran ten miles, went over some blueprints, filled out expense reports. Yep, he did a lot of things. Yet, if you asked him to provide any details about the tasks, he would’ve drawn a blank.
Because his every conscious thought had been focused on Maddie.
He couldn’t believe she was actually gone. When he’d walked into the office on Monday morning, her desk had been empty. It had remained empty on Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday. Now it was Friday, nearly a week since the wedding, and it was time to accept the cold, hard truth. She’d really quit. It was really over.
Rubbing the thick stubble covering his jaw, he stared at her desk, sheer agony slowly filling his body until every inch of him throbbed with pain. He was supposed to meet Jake and Austin for lunch soon, but he couldn’t tear his gaze from that damn desk.
And he couldn’t stop wondering if he’d made the biggest mistake of his life.
She’d been absolutely right when she’d accused him of pushing her away. Truth was, he didn’t care all that much that she’d slept with Cooper Grady. After an initial bout of jealousy, he’d realized it didn’t even matter. So what if Maddie had had sex with another man. He’d slept with countless other women.
But that was the problem. Maddie had said the past wasn’t important, but damn it, it was. He hadn’t told her about the disloyal reaction he’d had to that woman at the wedding, but he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. He was supposed to be with Maddie, supposed to want only her—so why had his body reacted? It wasn’t just the semi-erection that scared him. Men got turned on by hot chicks. It was a fact of life. Temptation. It was always there, and most men were strong enough to ignore it.