Is this the beginning or the end?
If this is the beginning then where is our miracle? If it’s the end then what purpose did I serve here in this world? I am so young. That’s right, there is still use for me yet...
But am I disposable just like all those other people – many whom may not have served any kind of purpose?
I wanted to become a nurse so that I could preserve life yet it’s only now that I realize how fragile we all are. I believed that everyone had the right to life, the right to live that life and enjoy that life. Yet, here I am, a prisoner; my life in someone else’s hands. What kind of life is that?
What kind of life is that?
Look at Junichi. He’s strong and brave even though I know he’s scared. He tries his best but his efforts are in vein. Despite giving it his all we’re together in this situation and though he fought and struggled he’s going to die whereas I will live.
Why? Why is this?
Is it truly because of my choice of wanting to be preserve life? That can’t be all. If it is truly so straight-forward then what does it say about me? What does it say about Junichi and Yamato? What does it say about every other person that walks not just Japan but the rest of the world?
I wanted to be a nurse so I could save lives. That’s what I tell myself over and over again and that is the truth. But... What is the deeper meaning behind this? To want to help people so intimately and heal is a sign of kindness, of compassion. To be a teacher is to care about the young and want to help them grow. That is compassion. Does this mean that only the compassionate survive? Is being compassionate equal to being strong? Many people claim that only the strong survive.
I don’t understand!
Izumi continued to nibble on her bottom lip.
‘You’re panicking, Izumi.’
There are fates worse than death. Sometimes we feel like we to want to die but in death comes pain to those who care about you and so living on with this pain is the greatest pain of all. Wait... Is living itself the spiritual embodiment of pain?
But what is living if this complex act can also be determined by someone else? If my life is now in the hands of someone else then this must mean that my life has ended but in-turn has begun again as something new; continuous beginnings and endings...
What does it all mean? Though? What does this all mean?‘What does it all mean!?’
‘Izumi?’ Nudged Junichi, bringing Izumi out of her torture. ‘What are you talking about?’
Now in the elevator, the bellboy boy slid his hat off his neatly combed hair. ‘Are you all alright?’ He turned to face Junichi, Izumi and Yamato, smiling. ‘Don’t worry, you’re safe. I’m not the bad guy. He claimed.
‘You only work for the enemy.’ Junichi stated sarcastically.
‘How does one pose as the enemy but not be an enemy at the same time?’ Izumi questioned while ignoring the mutterings of doom inside her head.
‘When you’re undercover.’ The boy answered bluntly.
‘I see...’
‘Izumi,’ Junichi grabbed her by the shoulders, turning her so that they were facing each other, but Izumi was afraid to look at her boyfriend. ‘What’s going on?’
Quickly she met Junichi’s stare, returning it with a fake smile. ‘Nothing’s wrong.’
The elevator doors finally parted to a into a large, grey basement housing an assortment of goods, food in large boxes, crates filled with unknown items, trays holding dusty bottles of wine, stray towels placed randomly about, stacks of paper as well as other objects.
‘Let’s get going then.’ Izumi encouraged with feigned enthusiasm. ‘So, if you’re undercover then what organisation do you belong to?’
‘That doesn’t matter.’
‘Doesn’t it?’ Junichi asked, following Izumi out of the elevator. ‘You can’t be any older than we are.’
The boy sighed. ‘Well since I have no choice, my name is Zero-Sixteen. I am a Reaper.’
‘You’re a Reaper?’ Izumi raised an eyebrow.
‘We knew something was wrong the second it happened.’ Zero-Sixteen continued, disappearing to the left where he used a clustered set of keys to open a thick, steel that looked out of place amongst the old stone. With a flip of a thick switch a small light bulb turned on above his head. The trio followed, stepping down a set of metal steps, leaving Zero-Sixteen to close the door securely behind them.
Their footsteps echoed in the narrow, concrete corridor that ended at another steel door. Zero-Sixteen passed between the three, opening the door by turning a large, heavy wheel at the centre and what it opened up to however was a complete change of environment; a low tunnel with a river of dark, disgusting water streaming through the middle. The sewers.
‘I don’t understand.’ Said Izumi as the three stepped down into the murky underworld. ‘If you’re a Reaper then why can’t you stop Akira? You were in the same room as him today.’ Behind the torn dress Yamato coughed bitterly, stopping to lean against a wall to catch his breath.
‘We need to hurry and get you healed.’ Junichi placed a careful hand on Yamato’s back which Yamato responded to with a gentle nod.
‘Because it wasn’t my mission.’ Zero-Sixteen worded plainly. ‘I was instructed to infiltrate the hotel and gather intelligence – which I have. People better than me will can take care of him when I give them the information. We couldn’t act while not knowing who we’re up against.’
‘People better than you?’ Asked Junichi.
‘Yes. Amongst the Reapers I’m one of the least respected. And rightly so; I’m nothing compared to all of those people.’
‘You’re being hard on yourself, Zero-Sixteen.’ Izumi claimed.
‘I wish I were but I am largely like ghost to these people, worthless and invisible.’
Junichi grabbed Zero-Sixteen by the shoulders, pinning him against a set of pipes running along the wall. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘It means what it means! I’m one of the weaker members!’ Zero-Sixteen pushed Junichi off angrily. ‘I know what you’re all thinking; we’re Reapers, we’re elite. You look at us and believe that we’re a family or a tight unit. But we’re not. Just like any society there are those with egos; within our ranks we compete to show what we’re made of – no-one says so, but secretly we want to prove that we’ve got what it takes to stay among them.’
‘You’re not doing yourself any favours by putting yourself down. You’re only as strong as your own will to survive!’ Lectured Junichi, placing his hands on his hips.
You’re only as strong as your own will to survive? Izumi thought.
‘Are you strong Izumi?’ The voice in her head asked her.
This isn’t the end... If it is the end then I won’t accept it as that! Get out of my head! Leave me alone!
Zero-Sixteen chuckled for a brief moment, watching the rats scurrying around. ‘Akira’s power from what I’ve seen is spreading fast. I don’t know if you guys will understand, but he’s treated Shibuya like a computer system and he’s a virus; attacking and spreading dangerously fast. First he took over the minds of a handful of Keys and then these Key’s acted as conduits; re-transmitting the signal Akira is broadcasting. Anyone who gets close enough somehow ends up belonging to Akira then he can do whatever he wants with them.’
‘But we weren’t effected.’ Claimed Izumi with her mind now settled. ‘Why?’
‘I wish I had the answer to that.’
Izumi continued,‘Just being in his presence was driving me insane... It felt like I was falling asleep and it took me all that I had to remain conscious.’
‘I know...’ Zero-Sixteen added. ‘Such a strong aura around him. I’ve never felt it before, even among the other Reapers of Justice.’
‘When he stared right down at you Junichi, I thought my brain was going to explode.’ Izumi admitted.
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about...’ Was all he said, eyeing Zero-Sixteen with a sub
tle disliking.
‘You couldn’t feel it? Then you’re a better man than I am–’
‘Stop talking like that!’ Junichi snapped. ‘If there’s one thing I hate it’s people putting themselves down! You’re a Reaper! We look up to you. You’re all goddamn superheroes, man. You can’t devalue what you have!’
‘What do you know what I have!?’ Zero-Sixteen snapped, shoving Junichi. ‘Yes I can fight – we all can, but when it comes to our abilities I’m nothing to them! Don’t you understand!? All I can do is read how people’s bodies will move before they actually move. That’s all. I can’t lift skyscrapers or change the landscape with the force of my mind! I am nothing to them – a joke! I go around acting tough to show that the pressure isn’t getting to me but the truth is that it hurts!
‘The only reason I was tasked with reconnaissance is because I’m fodder. If I’m lost then no big deal because we still have Zero-Two who’s invincible and Zero-One who’s immortal! Zero-Three? She can see the entirety of Shibuya in her mind! How else do you think we were able to react as quickly as we did! How do you think we know where Nightmares are when they appear the moment they do!? What am I to them!?’
Zero-Sixteen stormed off.
‘Wait!’ Junichi caught up with him, placing a hand on his shoulder. ‘Look, I know I shouldn’t have opened up this subject but don’t act like what you have isn’t unique. Look at us Zero-Sixteen, the three of us are only Human.’ He looked back at Izumi and Yamato who had turned to look away due to the gravity of the truth. ‘Do you know how great it would be to save a life before they were even in danger? If I could see as you could when Yamato was in danger then I could have stopped what happened to him from happening.’
‘If I wasn’t Human – if I was a Key then I could make a difference.’ Yamato said through his wounds, walking over to Zero-Sixteen to stand taller than him by a few inches. ‘I wouldn’t be complaining that even though I have power it may not be as good as others. How do you think Standard Tier Keys feel when they see you? You go out there and you fight Nightmares. That’s why you were recruited. Zero-Two may not be able to get hurt but he doesn’t have the ability to stop a Nightmare from killing someone. You do. You can see the twitch in its body before it moves and save that person. Don’t you dare belittle that.
‘Like Junichi said, if I had known that kid was going to take my face then I wouldn’t have taken him lightly. Junichi and I, his father might have taught us how to fight but that means little in this world we live in. The truth is, we Humans depend on you Keys to fight for us. Remember that.’ With his head tilted he moved towards the back of the group.
‘I was thinking...’ Izumi mumbled uncertainly. ‘I was thinking about what it means to live. At first I was thinking that our ability to live is determined by how much compassion we have, but now I feel that our ability to live is determined how strong out will is. If you choose to be strong then you forge your path ahead.’
‘You’re right...’ Zero-Sixteen nodded his head a few times dreamily as he thought to himself. ‘You’re right. It appears that the lucky one here today is myself. Right, We’re quite close and when we get there we’ll consult with Zero-One, he’ll know what to do.’ With a lifted spirit, Zero-Sixteen continued on further into the sewer, Junichi and Yamato passing Izumi. When Izumi went to move she stumbled, her body weakening for a second. She clung onto a vertical pipe as she wrestled with her darkening thoughts and fought back a cramping feeling in her heart, eyes wide as she breathed shallowly. She assumed that her thoughts and seemingly splitting personality was a by-product of the stress from losing her friend. It never occurred to her that the problem might stem from somewhere else such as from the problem with her blood.
‘Kioshi?’
Kioshi was startled back to reality where he was slouched on a support pole on the bus as he, Aki and Seito made their way to the station on their way to Zone Three. His eyes were half-closed as if half-asleep and barely acknowledged Aki’s call.
‘Are you all right?’ Aki worried.
‘Yeah...’ Hastily Kioshi rubbed his eyes with the bottom of his palms, smiling afterwards.
‘Can I tell you something, Kioshi?’
Kioshi was thrown off by the sudden question. ‘Sure. Of course.’
Aki thoughtfully nodded. ‘I’m not sure about all of this, Kioshi. Why does it feel like we’ve lost already?’ Aki asked.
‘Because,’ Seito commented as he sat beside them. ‘We’re biting off more than we can chew.’
‘Akira’s the bite and we’re cutting that into smaller pieces. This mission being one of them.’ Kioshi argued.
‘I have a very bad feeling, Kioshi.’ Aki whispered, gripping onto the same pole as Kioshi tighter.
Not knowing what to say Kioshi began to stare out outside the bus’ window, watching the legion of Deprived. You were fighting to stop this but in the end you lost more than the fight. You lost yourself too, mother. If it wasn’t for Yamamoto Akira then you wouldn’t have gone insane. But what exactly drove you so mad and what was wrong with your blood?
Izumi looked up at Kioshi with dead eyes, her body weak and depleted, unmoving under the thick covers that sheltered her. Her hair was soaked with sweat, breaking apart and clinging to her face, her skin was grey and dying, overrun with black veins.
What was wrong with your blood?
‘We’re here Kioshi.’ Aki pointed out as the bus came to another stop.
Seito was already outside when Kioshi stepped out at the entrance to Zone One Station and inside it operated with a disarming elegance as the Deprived got their tickets, passing the barrier, entered and left the platforms like parts on an assembly line. What was most noticeable was that even with hundreds of people about, the place was disturbingly quiet as people went about their own thing, stuck in their own world.
As soon as he entered, Seito felt uneasy being surrounded by so many people in such a tight-seeming space. Aki however was unaffected as she made her way to the ticket office to purchase everyone's tickets. Kioshi on the other hand felt more uneasy than Seito as paranoia set in, wondering if Akira knew of their intention to rebel one deed at a time. Though he didn’t consider Kouji a friend he did wonder if he was safe as he was in the most dangerous environment of all; where Mr Tetsuo died. If Akira was the one to order an attack on Mr Tetsuo then what would stop him from sending someone to kill him or even us?
The thought only served to strengthen his paranoia, feeling that anyone in the station could grab him and drag him away into the crowd without Seito or Aki knowing and they would never see him again.
So many people...
So many potential threats. His father had taught him how to defend himself but not against so many people. What would he do if someone got hold of him? What would he do if someone got hold of Seito? Quickly he looked beside him, Seito was still there.
What about Aki?
His heart stumbled as it went about its rhythmic beating. Shit. ‘Seito, let’s find Aki.’
The two began to wade through the crowd towards the ticket office but the task proved to be difficult as the Deprived were unmovable in their trance and so they had to force themselves between them in order to progress. Upon reaching the ticket office however, Aki wasn’t there.
‘Where did she go?’ Seito asked.
‘God, I hope no-one has taken her.’ It’s just as I feared...
‘We should split-up and then meet back here.’ Seito offered.
‘We’re not splitting up; that’s not a good idea. And what if she was...’ Kioshi trailed off, looking away from Seito.
‘You don’t think someone took her do you, Kioshi? Listen to how quiet it is in here, if someone took here then we would have heard.’
‘What if someone was covering her mouth?’
‘Well, we can’t wait for her for ever.’
Outraged, Kioshi raised his voice. ‘So what? We just go on to Akihabara without
her?’
‘Maybe...’ Seito admitted, moving to the ticket stand to purchase new tickets.
‘Maybe?’ Kioshi grabbed his arm. ‘Maybe? If it were Kouji or Hido or Miyako then you’d look for them.’
‘I would.’ He replied. ‘But Aki...’
‘What?’
Hido ripped his arm out of Kioshi’s grasp, irritated. ‘She’s a freaking Ghost Kioshi! No-one talks to her, no-one likes her and no-one wants her here! Look at her, look how disfigured her body is. Something is wrong with her and truthfully, she’s just an eyesore.’ The words were leaving Seito freely now. ‘The always messy hair, she’s so quiet–’
‘Shut up!’ Kioshi cried, swinging his fist, meeting Hido square on the cheek, knocking him to the ground. With both hands he dragged him up. ‘You call her a Ghost? Well what if she is one? She’s a better person than you are, Seito – at least she cares. Aki’s not a Ghost to me – I care about her.’
‘Yeah-yeah.’ Was all Seito replied in a tone that showed that he understood Kioshi and was sorry for the most part but refused to meet Kioshi’s eyes as he picked himself up.
‘What are you so afraid of, Seito?’
‘What am I afraid of?’ Embarrassed. Seito put his back to Kioshi. ‘Nothing.’
Feeling that their conversation was over, Kioshi went to go and search for Aki but his task was done for him as she stood behind him, baring an expression that held mixed feelings. She had heard Kioshi’s and Seito’s exchange.