The only downside lately was the time he’d spent away from home. Now it was Sunday night and he’d tucked Tommy in four times already. Tommy was still telling people he was a Tommysaurus Rex—the meanest dinosaur of all. If his behavior at bedtime was any indication, Luke could only believe him. But on the last round of good nights, Luke had used a more serious voice. “This is it, buddy. Don’t get up again.”
A repentant look came over Tommy and he settled down on his pillow. “Okay, Daddy.” He waved his fingers, meek-like. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine. Just don’t get up.”
“Okay.” One more quick wave. “Wuv you.”
“Love you too.” Luke stifled a grin as he left his son’s room. Malin was already asleep down the hall, so finally he could go find Reagan. He’d told her to take the night off, curl up with a book while he managed the bedtime routine. It was the least he could do since he’d been gone so much lately. He tiptoed down the stairs, past the place where Tommy had gotten his head stuck in the spindles when they first moved into the house. He found Reagan in a T-shirt and comfy-looking sweats, reading Unlocked next to an open window.
She smiled up at him. “The breeze is amazing. I can smell the jasmine you planted last summer.”
He sat beside her and breathed in. “It’s great.”
“See?” She leaned close and kissed him. “I knew you’d like it.”
“I believed you.” He nuzzled up against her. “I always believe you.”
“Mmm.” Reagan looked straight at him, past the lighthearted banter between them. “Like about the adoption?”
“Exactly.” He grinned and crooked his finger beneath her chin, kissing her more slowly this time. “But that one didn’t take any convincing. I’d love another baby.”
“You don’t care—girl or boy?”
“Nope. Whatever baby God brings us is fine with me.” He felt relaxed and content. Being with Reagan filled his senses, and the smell of jasmine only heightened the moment. Like the peacefulness of the night would go on forever. He leaned back, watching her. “Our paperwork’s in, right?”
“Everything’s done. The agency called last week. It’s just a matter of a birth mother choosing us, finding the right match.”
It was the first time they’d done a domestic adoption, and Luke was a little nervous about the fact. International adoptions like Malin’s carried virtually no risk of a birth mother showing up after so many years with a lawyer in tow. But this time around they were willing to consider a more open adoption. Children were on loan anyway. That’s what his mother had always said. “God’s probably picking a baby for us right now.”
“I’ve been thinking about her lately.” Reagan pressed her head into the sofa cushion, a dreamy look on her face.
“So now it’s a girl?” Luke was teasing her, enjoying the easy way they had with each other. Their marriage had only gotten stronger this last year, and now that they were dreaming about a third child, Luke felt like God was blessing them beyond anything he could’ve imagined.
“Not the baby, silly.” Reagan’s expression deepened. “The girl, the birth mother. She’s out there somewhere. Maybe already pregnant. Trying to decide what to do with a pregnancy she didn’t plan for.”
“Hmm.” Luke angled his head, imagining the same thing. “I haven’t thought about that.”
“I think God put the idea on my heart. We pray for the baby all the time, of course.”
“For years.” Luke was serious. They’d known from the beginning that Reagan couldn’t have more biological children after Tommy. Which meant whenever they prayed about their family, they prayed for the children yet to come, the boys or girls only God knew about.
“So maybe it’s time we pray for the girl, our baby’s birth mother.”
“What if she’s in her forties—and this baby just doesn’t fit in her plans?”
Reagan giggled. “Girl, woman. Whatever.” Her laughter faded. “I’m serious. We should pray for her, don’t you think?”
Luke was quiet, thinking about the troubled mother somewhere out there in the city of Indianapolis, maybe just getting news of an unwanted pregnancy or worse—thinking about whether to release the baby for adoption or abort. A shudder ran through him and he sat up straighter. “You’re right. Let’s pray for her.”
“Right now?” Reagan leaned forward too. Her face close to Luke’s.
A sense of urgency filled Luke’s heart, robbing him of some of the serenity from just a few minutes ago. He pictured this woman—young or old—one more time. The woman who might even this moment be carrying their next child. “Yeah, baby. I think so. Right now.” Then he took Reagan’s hands in his and prayed with an intensity that surprised him—that God would know exactly who the birth mother of their baby was, and that even this very night he would surround her with his angels and protect her and the baby. That God would grant her peace in her decision, and finally one last thing.
That he’d grant her baby life.
ANDI WANTED TO GET THERE EARLY.
Her appointment was for nine that morning, but the woman she’d talked to said they opened the doors half an hour early. So their clients could avoid the protestors who sometimes gathered near the front of the clinic during business hours. The last thing Andi wanted was to run into a protestor—someone who would scream threats in her face and call her names for killing her baby.
She wanted to slip in unnoticed, and slip back into life the same way. The problem gone, no one the wiser for what she’d done. No one but her and God. Of course, she hadn’t planned on thinking much about God this day, but all that changed at the Kunzmann house. Their family lived and breathed God’s presence. His Word and truth, His ways and peace were a part of everything the Kunzmann family said and did. There was no getting around it.
Before she left this morning, Lucia pulled her aside. “Your appointment is this morning, right?”
“Yes.” Andi couldn’t make eye contact with the woman. She didn’t deserve the woman’s kindness, and she felt ashamed for what she was about to do. As if by looking into Lucia’s eyes, the woman would know exactly where she was headed.
“Before you go, let’s pray. Whatever’s wrong with you, Andi, God knows. He will meet you there.”
Praying before an abortion? Andi’s heart pounded in her throat, but she couldn’t escape. Before she knew what was happening, Lucia had hold of her hands and she was praying, asking the Holy Spirit to be Andi’s constant companion in the coming hours, and asking that Andi hear His voice whatever lay ahead. It was like Lucia already knew her plans. Like God Himself had told her.
Andi pulled into a bank parking lot across the street from the clinic and slumped behind the steering wheel. What’re you worried about? she asked herself. No one knows you’re here. For a full minute she surveyed the clinic across the street, making sure there were no protestors, no one to interfere with her quick and certain entrance. She placed her hand on her stomach and wondered if her baby would feel what was about to happen. As soon as the question hit her, she banished it. The woman at the clinic had promised her there was no baby. The only thing her body contained right now was tissue. Tissue that would become a baby.
Ashley Baxter’s face came to mind, telling her that people at abortion clinics would lie to her. The ultrasound told the real story. Growing inside her was a very tiny baby and a very tiny heart. She felt sick to her stomach, and finally she’d had enough. She jolted from the car and ran lightly across the street. But just as she was about to cross into the clinic parking lot, a man stepped in front of her.
“Hello.” He was older, white hair and a neatly trimmed white beard. His eyes were so piercing blue, they almost looked otherworldly. “I’m Clarence.” He checked his watch. “I thought you’d be early, Andi.”
A slice of terror cut at Andi and she took a few frantic steps back. How did he know her name? “Don’t…please don’t hurt me.”
The man stepped aside, but even though her path to th
e clinic was wide open, Andi had the sense she couldn’t get by the gentleman, no matter what she tried. His voice was soft as he tried again. “I’m not here to harm you. I bring you truth. Please…” he held a pamphlet to her. “Take this. Your appointment’s not until nine o’clock.”
“How do you…I don’t have an appointment. I’m just…I’m looking into it.”
He watched her, kind and gentle. “I’ve prayed for you and your baby…I’ve prayed all morning.” He was still holding out the brochure. “Please take this. Go back to your car and read it.” What was it about his eyes? He smiled at her, and his tenderness touched her much the way she felt when she was around her father. She made a quick grab of the pamphlet and looked around, hoping no one else could see them.
“You’ll read it? For your baby?”
“There’s no ba—”
He held up one hand and nodded at her. “Read it. I’ll be praying.”
She still had the sensation she couldn’t get past the older gentleman, even if she made a run for it. So instead she turned around and ran the other way. Halfway to her car she turned back to see which way the man went, where he’d come from. But he was gone. Her heart thudded in her neck, making it hard to breathe. Where was he? Clarence, right? Wasn’t that his name? He was too old to race off, and there was no other car or doorway in sight. Could he be hiding in the bushes? Was that how he handed his material to unsuspecting girls like her? And how had he known her name?
Shaking from fear and the adrenaline coursing through her, Andi ran as fast as she could back to her car. She didn’t want to stay here. What if the man turned up by her car somehow? She set the pamphlet down on her passenger seat, started her engine, and pulled out of the bank parking lot as fast as she could. Halfway down the block she saw a public library, and she turned her car quickly into the parking lot. It was empty, so she could be alone—without wondering whether the man with the strange eyes was watching her.
Her forehead was damp with sweat, and her heart still sped along at double speed inside her chest. What sort of crazy thing had just happened to her? She’d scanned the parking lot and made sure no one—absolutely no one—was lurking anywhere near the clinic. She’d been walking toward the parking lot, her eyes fixed on the clinic door, and he was suddenly there. From out of nowhere.
She made sure her doors were locked, and she leaned her head against the seat rest. Breathe, she told herself. This is insane. Go back, and get inside before more protestors show up. But the man’s words filled her mind, consumed her soul. He thought she’d be early? Like he knew her? Another series of shivers ran down her arms. Then without wanting to, she reached for the brochure and looked at the cover. It was a picture of an unborn baby, very little. Probably about the age of her own baby. The title read, “Give Life a Chance.”
Her heart pounded harder in response. She couldn’t give life a chance. If she did, she’d have to tell her parents and have the baby and then what? Embarrass her father…mar his chances at making movies with a Christian message? Or spend a lifetime raising Taz’s child alone? Or somehow find a way to put the baby into the arms of another family? None of the answers felt even remotely possible. But as if some supernatural force was compelling her, she opened the pamphlet and read the entire thing, every word. The minutes ticked away, and still Andi sat there.
One of the lines from inside the brochure jumped out at her. For every abortion, two lives are destroyed. Most women will spend a lifetime seeking healing and forgiveness from this one single choice.
Could that be true? Was the brochure right, that she’d spend a lifetime regretting this? Her mind was so full of conflicting thoughts she could barely think or see straight. Even so she started her car again and pulled back onto the busy street. She drove without thinking, first toward the clinic and then after a quick U-turn she drove away. Suddenly, without knowing how or why, she pulled into another parking lot and looked at the building near the back. The blood drained from her face as she read the sign.
Bethany Christian Services—an Adoption Agency.
This couldn’t be happening. She couldn’t have driven aimlessly into the parking lot of an adoption agency. Maybe she was dreaming. The whole strange situation with the man and his unforgettable eyes, the way he’d come from nowhere and disappeared as soon as she turned around. Now this. She shut her eyes as tightly as she could. Yes, she was dreaming. That had to be it. But then why was her heart pounding, and how come she couldn’t catch her breath? She opened her eyes slowly, hoping she would find herself in the guestroom of the Kunzmann house, the morning not yet begun.
But she was exactly where she’d been a minute ago. A Christian adoption agency staring her straight in the face.
Suddenly…like scales from her eyes, the truth began to dawn on her. Nothing that morning had been strange or coincidental. God was reaching down from heaven to spare her life and the life of her baby. First the Kunzmann family—and Lucia’s prayer that the Holy Spirit stay with her over the next few hours…then the strange, kind-eyed man.
Andi thought about her family’s time in Indonesia. The supernatural was more accepted there, and believers regularly experienced encounters with beings they believed to be angels. She thought about the man, pictured his unusual blue eyes and his way of speaking straight to her. Maybe he was an angel. It was possible. How else could he possibly have known her name? Hebrews 13 talked about being careful to entertain strangers, for in doing so some had entertained angels without knowing it, right?
Another set of shivers ran through her. The man had been aware that she’d be early, and he’d known private details about her appointment, her name. Even what it would take to change her mind. There could be no other answer. She covered her stomach tenderly with her hands. “Little one, I’m sorry…I’m so sorry.”
Her tears came like they hadn’t since she first found out she was pregnant. How had she lied to herself these past few weeks, refusing to think of her baby, but only of the abortion? The brochure was right. She would’ve hated herself forever if she’d gone through with it. She stepped out of her car and walked slowly to the front door of the adoption agency. Stuck to the window was a list of hours, same as those of the abortion clinic down the street. Fitting, Andi thought. Life or death, a few blocks apart.
She tapped the agency’s number into her phone’s address book and walked slowly back to her car. A new sense of hope filled her heart. Her baby was going to live! She wasn’t going through the doors of the abortion clinic, not today and not ever. It had been her choice to sleep with Taz, to believe him that in some twisted way, breaking her vow to God would be art. The lie was flat-out diabolical. Breaking a promise to God, going against what Scripture taught, could only be called one thing.
Sin.
Yes, Andi had sinned against God and her parents. Even against herself and the plans God had for her life. But Andi hadn’t lost all her Bible knowledge in one year. She remembered a verse her parents had referenced often. Romans 8:28—all things work to the good for those who love the Lord.
And she did love Him. She’d put Him off and walked away, but the truth was now as clear as the sky overhead. She loved God and she wanted to live for Him again—the way she hadn’t lived for Him since she’d set foot on the IU campus. Andi started her car one more time to head back to the Kunzmann house. Lucia would be the first person she would tell about this decision. But before she drove very far, she realized something. She had to go back to the clinic and look for Clarence. She wanted to hug him and thank him and tell him what a difference he’d made. Let him know his prayers had been answered. She was choosing life.
One last time she turned her car around, and as she drove she suddenly pictured her sweet friend, Rachel. Something dawned on her, the way it hadn’t for an entire year. Rachel would finally recognize her. And somewhere in heaven she had a feeling Rachel was celebrating with the angels.
Maybe even a blue-eyed old gentleman named Clarence.
Twenty-
Six
KEITH AND LISA SAT IN SILENCE, their car parked in a lot across the street from the clinic. They’d been here since 8:35, but still they hadn’t seen Andi. A few protestors were gathered outside the clinic, talking amongst themselves. Keith watched as three of them circled on the sidewalk and bowed their heads, clearly praying for the work ahead of them.
“Interesting.” Lisa was as nervous as him, but she seemed struck by the protestors. “I’ve always seen them portrayed as violent, screaming and waving signs.”
“A few extreme people probably are like that.” Keith narrowed his eyes, watching the group as they continued to pray. “But this doesn’t surprise me. There’s a mission field here—if it’s handled right, anyway.”
Lisa sighed and glanced around. “You think she’s coming.”
“I do.” Keith felt a peace in his heart, a certainty. “I can’t explain it. I just think she’ll be here.”
They had prayed together for almost an hour that morning—most of the drive here. The goal, of course, was to tell Andi they’d help her, to change her mind about the abortion. But beyond that they’d talked about what might come next. Whether Andi would raise her child, or give the baby up for adoption. They both agreed that they would welcome Andi home, and help her parent the child if that’s what she wanted to do. No matter what circumstances led to this life—the life mattered. This was their first grandchild, after all.
Also, early this morning Keith had called Chase. They might’ve parted ways, but no one knew him better. No one besides Lisa would hurt for his Andi more than Chase and Kelly. The friends who had watched her grow up, the two who knew how great Andi’s love for the Lord had once been, and how drastic the changes in her this past year.
Chase promised to tell Kelly, and even now Keith knew his friends were praying. God was hearing from the people who loved their Andi, and Keith believed this was where they’d find her. God had led them here, after all. He took hold of Lisa’s hand. “She’ll be here.”