“Side effects?” Sadie clutched the flimsy robe even closer around her throat and listened intently. Here was the core issue—the answer to the mystery that had been driving her crazy.
“Yeah. The Tandem chips made us too close. We can feel each other’s emotions. Sometimes we catch each other’s stray thoughts. When the T-link between us really opens up it’s like nothin’ I can describe to you. What Holt touches, tastes, and sees I feel and taste and see, and vice versa. It’s like livin’ inside two brains and two bodies at once.” He shook his head, a far away look in the deep blue eyes. “And it’s so good, so right— that sense of completion, of wholeness. It’s like an addiction neither one of us can ever break unless we undergo a procedure to remove the chips.”
“You don’t want to have the procedure?” Sadie asked, puzzled.
“We’ve both thought about it.” Blakely shook his head. “But the docs have told us we’re too close—we’ve been tandemized too long. Odds are if we did the detandemizing now one of us would end up dead. It ain’t worth the risk.” He shrugged. “‘Sides, we’re pretty comfortable the way we are. We’re best friends even though we drive each other crazy sometimes. There’s really only one drawback.”
“Which is?” Her heart was in her mouth and she was concentrating so hard on what Blakely was saying that the voice on her other side made her jump in surprise. She had almost forgotten that Holt was still there.
“The drawback is that if you take one of us you have to take both,” Holt said in her ear. She turned to face the blond detective, who had put down the packet of lactose spread and was concentrating on her again. His hair looked like burnished metal strands against the collar of the black shirt he was wearing. “You see, Sadie, there were a few bugs in the first Tandem chips, the ones Blakely and I received. The T-link caused by the chips acts like a circuit, a conduit for the energy between us. It’s almost like a sixth sense in a way; I know where my partner is at all times, how he’s feeling, if he’s in danger…and he knows the same about me. But despite all that the circuit is incomplete.”
“We need a third.” Blakely was pressing closer to her other side, staring at her intently.
“A third what?” she asked hesitantly, looking from one to the other, Holt tall and shiningly blond and Blakely, muscular, dark and intense. So different and yet so much alike, she thought. Both trapped somehow. The two men looked so serious and sad.
“A third person to complete the circuit, to fulfill the T-link’s full potential,” Holt said matter of factly.
“You mean you want someone else to have a chip implanted?” Sadie asked flatly.
“No, that wouldn’t be necessary,” Holt said. “There are…other ways to link.”
Sadie looked back and forth between them. “Sex,” she breathed. “So that’s what all this is about.”
“Yes,” Blakely said simply. “It’s like an empty space, a hole that needs to be filled. We’re only complete when the T-link is completely open.”
“And it’s only fully open when we’re sharing a woman, making love to her, penetrating her at the same time,” Holt finished.
“And you chose me. Well thanks a lot.” She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Why me, guys? Won’t any warm body do? All you need is a way to link to each other—a girl who doesn’t mind taking…” she swallowed. “Taking you both on at once. Why not use a prostie-borg?” She felt the prickle of tears threaten behind her eyelids and tried to blink them back. All along they had just wanted to use her to make contact with each other.
“Sadie, you don’t understand.” Holt took her by the arm and led her to the couch and Blakely followed. Soon she was sandwiched between them, feeling the comforting masculine warmth radiating from both sides. “Blake and I don’t want just any girl to share our lives. We aren’t interested in using someone just to fulfill the link. It’s true that only about one in a thousand women have the sensory capacity to handle the sensations of a T-link joining, but there’s more to it than that.”
“Holt and I have been lookin’ for a long time for a girl we both care about—both love. Someone we can share our lives with.” Blakely said, taking her hand again. “We started to care for you, a long time before we ever figured out we could bond with you.”
“Bond with me?” Sadie looked back and forth between them. “What do you mean, ‘bond with me’?”
“It’s how we were able to heal you last night, Sadie,” Holt told her earnestly, taking her other hand. “Your brain chemistry matches the composition of ours so perfectly that we’ve been able to establish a bond, a mental and emotional connection with you. It’s not as strong yet as the T-link the Tandem chips make possible between Blake and me, but every time we touch you together like this it gets stronger.”
“I…I don’t believe you,” Sadie said weakly. A bond with these two? The two most handsome, fascinating, aggravating men she had ever met? It’s not possible, she insisted to herself. But was it? She could feel the energy flowing between them and tried to pull her hands away, but they didn’t let her. Sadie felt her body reacting to their presence, to their need and hers even though she didn’t want it to and wished that she hadn’t been so hasty in her choice of clothing. The robe she had on hid nothing and she was sure that Blakely and Holt could see her nipples hardening with desire. Oh Goddess, their mouths on me, tasting me, touching me, making me come…
“Close your eyes and feel it, sweetheart,” Blakely invited her softly. “I can feel you in my mind—taste you on my tongue like honey and I know Holt feels the same. The bond with you isn’t as strong as our link yet, but it’s there all right or we wouldn’t have been able to pull you back last night. Go on—close your eyes and feel.”
Realizing that they weren’t going to let her go until she complied, Sadie took a deep breath and forced herself to close her eyes. Concentrate, she told herself fiercely, determined to prove them wrong—to feel nothing at all.
At first there was nothing but the warm, sensual current flowing between them. Then, in the back of her mind she began to feel a strange sensation, a doubling and trebling of emotions. A bright golden thread of hope and need like a ray of sunshine in her mind—Holt. A solid certainty, an unshakeable love, like a smooth, warm stone she could cup in the palm of her hand—Blakely. Need, desire, love, lust all crowded into her brain. A barrage of emotions she had never asked for and could not block out.
“No, no! Stop it!” Sadie yanked her hands away from them and stumbled off the couch, nearly falling in her hasty attempt to get away. Too fast, this was all happening way too fast. Hell, she had dated Gerald for nearly a year and a half before he proposed to her. Here were these two, wanting her to submit to the most perverted scenarios she could imagine, wanting some sort of commitment when she hadn’t even known them a month. No, not just wanting a commitment—forcing one. Merciful Goddess, she could feel them both in her brain. In her terror she forgot that she had admitted to herself that she was beginning to care deeply for Blakely and Holt, maybe even to love them both. All she could see was that what they were asking was too much too soon.
“Sadie, please, honey…” Blakely appealed softly, leaning forward, the pain and need apparent in his vivid indigo eyes. Holt said nothing but Sadie saw the same pain reflected in his light blue gaze—the same need. Worst of all she felt it inside her mind. They wanted her…needed her. I need them too… No! She shook her head to clear away the treacherous thought.
“Look,” she said, attempting to remain calm and deal with the situation in a rational manner. “I appreciate you saving my life last night even if you did use…some unconventional methods. But I didn’t come on this mission to ‘bond’ with you or complete you or whatever the hell it is you’re talking about. I came for a story and that’s all I came for.” She took a shaking breath and hugged herself tightly, staying far back from the couch where the two men sat, light and dark, day and night, watching her. “Now I’m sorry if you got the wrong idea about me, but I’m t
elling you for the last time that I’m not like that. I just…I’m sorry but I can’t. Can’t be what you’re looking for.”
Feeling her eyes blur with tears she ran back to the bedroom, hitting the door switch so hard that it slammed behind her and threw herself on the bed. Burying her face in a pillow that still smelled like Holt’s fine, golden hair she let herself cry all the worry and fear and frustration out until she had nothing left inside.
It was Blakely that came to her, rapping softly on the door to ask for admittance.
“Come in,” Sadie said listlessly. She had an idea she’d been sleeping at some point but if so, her nap hadn’t refreshed her at all. She had a dull, throbbing headache right behind her eyes that had settled in and promised to stay for a good long time and she felt completely miserable.
She sat up in the large bed the three of them had shared the night before, leaning against the headboard, the prostie-type clothes scattered around the bedspread in a glitzy litter of fabric. She realized she still had on the ridiculous outfit that showed her breasts and sex and considered covering herself, but then decided not to bother. I’ve been acting like a slut, might as well dress like one, she thought bitterly. It wasn’t like Blakely hadn’t seen it all before. Seen it, licked it, kissed it…she shook her head, trying to rid herself of the intensely erotic memory of having that dark, curly head buried between her thighs while Holt took care of her breasts, sucking and nipping so tenderly.
At least Blakely was alone; they must have known that it would be easier for her if only one of them came. Easier and safer than having them both there, ready to start that sensuous, seductive energy flowing with a touch.
“Hi, sweetheart.” He seemed subdued and moved slowly without the usual bounce in his step. “Can I…do ya mind if I sit down?” He gestured to the other side of the bed.
“Sure, help yourself,” Sadie said. “I’m not worried about you sitting by me as long as Holt isn’t on the other side.”
Blakely winced at her comment but said nothing. Slowly, he cleared the mound of discarded clothing from the other side of the bed. “Sorry about these,” he muttered, gesturing with a handful of gaudy fabric. “I just wanted to get ya something new to wear, but, well, the lady I got these from, she’s a working girl. Guess she didn’t know I wanted them for somebody who didn’t…who doesn’t…”
“Fuck for a living?” Sadie said bluntly and he winced again. “It doesn’t matter, Blake.” She hated the harshness in her own tone but wasn’t able to help it. “Why should I care about wearing a prostitute’s clothes? That’s what I’ve been acting like ever since I met you and Holt. Offering to trade sex for the chance to get a first-hand scoop on the story. Acting like a cat in heat every time you and Holt get me between you…”
“Is that what’s botherin’ you, baby?” He scooted a little closer and turned to face her.
“Among other things.” She looked down at her hands, letting her long hair hide her face. “I know you probably don’t believe me after the way I acted last night, but I’ve only ever been with one other guy—my ex-fiancé Gerald.”
“Of course I believe you,” Blakely said quietly. “I could tell from the minute I met you all that hard-as-nails reporter bit was a put on. Holt and me know you’re a nice girl. And the way you’ve been feelin’ whenever you’re between us—well, that isn’t your fault. It’s a natural reaction to the T-link between Holt and me. I mean, I’ve never seen it so strong before, but that’s definitely all it is.”
“Oh, right, because I’m the one perfect girl for you in the universe,” Sadie said bitterly, still looking down. “As if my new status as slut of the Solar System wasn’t bad enough.”
“Sadie, look at me.” Blakely tilted her chin until she was staring into the deep blue eyes, full of hurt and concern. “I didn’t come in here to pressure you about that, honey. Holt and me don’t wanna take anything you don’t wanna give and I’m sorry if we upset you since it’s the last thing we meant to do.” He sighed and ran a hand through his thick, dark curls. “We just wanted to explain our situation and let you make a choice. Now, you’ve made that choice, and I want you to know we accept it completely and we don’t ever have to mention this again. Except,” he cleared his throat and looked away from her. “Except to tell you not to worry about the bond. Holt thinks it’ll fade in time as long as we keep from touchin’ you, both of us at once, I mean. It was never full strength anyway ’cause we never bonded completely.”
“After…” Sadie felt her face going red but forced herself to continue. “After everything we did last night? But I thought…”
“No,” Blakely cut her off, in a low voice. “We…we were careful not to form a Life-bond with you last night. We didn’t want to go too far without knowing how you felt.”
“That’s very considerate of you,” Sadie said sourly. “I suppose you and Holt ask all the girls you ‘bond’ with if they mind before you go all the way.”
“It’s not like that,” Blakely said softly. “Sadie, until you came along the idea of finding a girl that was a close enough match for us to form a Life-bond with was purely…” He searched for a word.
“Theoretical,” Holt said from the doorway. He was leaning against the frame, his tall form at an angle to the door, being sure to stay well back from the bed. “The man who implanted the Tandem chips, a neurobiologist by the name of James Klinefelder, told us it was possible, but far from probable. Along about the odds of winning the Mega Credit Solar Lotto.”
“And I’m the winning ticket. Well, gentlemen, thanks but no thanks,” Sadie said bitterly. They just wanted her for the connection. Wanted to be inside her mind the way they were inside each other’s…Actually that part wasn’t so bad—it was the things they had to do to get the connection. Or rather, the things she would have to let them do. If only those things didn’t feel so good…
“We don’t look at you like that, sweetheart,” Blakely told her quietly, the hurt in his indigo eyes almost silencing the jeering little voice inside her head. “I think Holt’s just tryin’ to tell you that this is new to us, too. Professor Klinefelder told us it might be possible, but we’ve never been able to form a Life-bond with anyone before.”
“Not for lack of trying, I’ll bet,” Sadie muttered.
“That’s not true,” Holt told her, leaving the doorway and moving a little closer. Seeing her distrustful look, he sat at the foot of the bed, still far enough away that he couldn’t touch her. “I won’t deny that we’ve shared women before—the T-link makes that a necessity. But there have only been two other occasions since Blake and I have been linked that we asked a lady to share our lives.” A look of deep pain passed over the blond man’s face. “The first time was right after we were just linked, when we realized what the chips were doing to us. We wanted to do the detandemizing procedure immediately, but even back then they only gave us a fifty–fifty chance of both of us making it out alive.”
“Who…who was the girl?” Sadie asked hesitantly, intrigued despite herself.
“Her name was Charlotte—Charlie. We, uh, we were gonna get married.” Blakely’s voice nearly broke and he had to look away for a moment before he could continue. “She was a sweet girl. I loved her; Goddess knows I loved her so much. We had everything planned. She and I had been together about a year before Holt and me got the chips implanted. Then after…after we realized what was happening with the chips I went to her and told her. We told her about the detandemizing, explained about the risks and she didn’t want to chance it. She said she was willing to try it…try being with both of us.”
“What happened?” Sadie asked gently. Why isn’t she sitting here with you instead of me?
“Wrong brain chemistry; her system couldn’t handle it. She overloaded with sensation…it nearly killed her,” Holt said briefly. “But even if she could’ve handled it, it wouldn’t have been right. Charlotte was Blake’s girl. She liked me and I liked her, but the feelings were just friendly. There was no need—no
real passion.”
“We broke it off,” Blakely said softly. “It wasn’t fair to her, wasn’t fair to Holt.” His face was a perfect blank now and Sadie could only guess how hard it was not to show the pain he must be feeling, reliving this old memory for her benefit. She wanted to tell them to stop, that she didn’t want to hear any more, but Holt was talking again.
“The last time we thought about it was about six months ago. The girl’s name was Gillian. I suppose I have myself to blame for that one.” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes tightly shut for a moment. “I should have told her right away what the situation was between Blake and me. I could’ve saved us all a lot of pain that way. But I didn’t want to scare her off.”
“Did you overload her, too?” Sadie remembered the intense rush, the almost electrical feeling when both men touched her at once. It was easy to see how that tingling current might be too much to handle. Too much pleasure, too much sensation…just too much.
Holt made a face. “We never got that far,” he admitted. “She and I were getting pretty close and she seemed to like Blake pretty well. She was a flirt—the same way he is—so they got along great. I really thought I’d found the one. So after about six months I sat her down and told her the truth—the whole story about us. What we needed and why we needed it. I asked her if she might be willing to try being with both of us at once.”
“And…?” Sadie couldn’t help asking.
“And…” Holt sighed deeply. “And she slapped my face. She came from a fairly uptight background so I guess I should have seen it coming. She said we were…disgusting. That she didn’t want to have anything else to do with either one of us. That was the end of that.”