He stood and breathed in deeply. God was here with him; Cody could feel His presence. And at least now he had a plan. Bailey could be busy with Tim, but that didn’t mean he had to stay away from her family.
They were his family, too, and they always would be.
He walked with determination back to his car and made just one stop on the way out to the Flanigans’ — his mother’s house. He parked out front and stood on the porch, knocking, waiting.
“Mom?” The door was unlocked, and when she didn’t answer it he went inside. “You home?” He heard something in the back bedroom, but she still didn’t answer. “Mom?”
He’d made a point of spending more time with her — especially since Christmas. Their trip to see Scrooge had been sort of a new beginning, but every time he came to see her he had his doubts that maybe she was using drugs again. She was an addict, same as him. That meant the temptation would always be there.
He walked past the kitchen and there on the counter was something that stopped him cold.
A small mirror, and in the stream of light from the window he could see the hint of white dust on it. He didn’t want to think so, but the mirror had the distinct look of something someone had used for cocaine. He grabbed hold of it and glanced around the counter for a razor blade — which would pretty much guarantee his suspicions. But there was nothing. He carried the mirror toward the bedroom. “Mom?”
“Yes!” She sounded too cheerful. “I’m in here.”
He followed her voice into the bedroom and found her bustling about, making her bed and straightening her pillows. “Sorry.” She stopped and put her hands on her hips, breathing deeply. “I didn’t hear you. Today’s cleaning day.”
The last thing he wanted was to ask about the mirror, but he had to. She needed to know that he was watching, checking her behavior. He held it out to her. “I found this on the counter.”
She hesitated for half a second. “Oh, that. It goes in my bathroom. I set my perfumes on it.” She took it from him. “I was going to spray it with Windex, and I got distracted.”
He released it to her and studied her for another half a minute. “I never noticed it before.”
“I’ve had it forever.” She hustled the mirror into her bathroom and came back empty handed, brushing her palms against her jeans. “So much to do. The place was a mess.”
Cody wanted to believe her. A mirror, in and of itself, was not proof that his mother was doing cocaine or any other drug. But he had reason to wonder. Every other time she’d been released from prison she went back to using. He had prayed this time would be different, and so far he believed it was. But she needed the strength of Christ, same as he did. “You going to church with me this weekend?”
“Of course.” She laughed easily. “Church and Sunday school.” She’d found one for recovering addicts, and combined with her midweek drug classes, she seemed more grounded than before.
But still Cody worried. “Okay, then.” He came to her and kissed her cheek. “I was just driving by. Thought I’d check on you.”
“I’m fine, silly, but thanks for stopping.” She didn’t mention the drugs. Neither of them liked talking about the possibility. “My neighbor Linda invited me for dinner, so I have to get my cleaning done before then. She’s a widow, you know. The two of us keep each other company.”
Cody hung around another few minutes before leaving. His mother’s quick actions and rattling conversation worried him, but he hoped she was telling the truth.
As he left he checked the clock on his dashboard. He still had more than two hours before his work shift, and only one place he really wanted to go.
He pulled into the Flanigans’ driveway ten minutes later, parked his car in the familiar place, and walked the length of the covered porch to the front door. Jim met him and the two hugged. “I’ve stayed away too long,” Cody said as he stepped inside.
“Way too long.” Jim welcomed him in. “Can you stay for dinner?”
“Maybe this weekend.” He looked Jim straight into the eyes. “I miss you guys a lot.”
Jenny met up with them in the kitchen. “Cody! I can’t believe you’re here.”
At the sound of his name, the five Flanigan boys hurried into the kitchen and surrounded Cody with pats on the back and challenges for a football game or a square off in a game of 21 on the basketball court. Ricky looked happy and healthy, and a sense of deep gratitude filled Cody’s heart.
They played a round of Wii Mario Kart, and when Ricky had soundly beaten all of them, they went out front and played three-on-three on the basketball court. Cody found his place among them as easily as he had the first time he set foot in their home. The Flanigans loved him. No matter how much time passed, they always would.
Not until he was on his way out the door to his work shift did Jenny ask if he’d talked to Bailey. Jenny, more than the others, seemed to understand the feelings Cody had for the only Flanigan daughter.
“She doesn’t talk to me much.” He smiled, but he could feel the sadness in his eyes. “I made the mistake of ignoring her for a while, trying to give her and Tim space.” He made a face. “It backfired, though. Now she doesn’t trust me.”
Jenny was quiet for a moment. Finally she put her hand on Cody’s shoulder and gave him an understanding smile. “I know my daughter, and I know how much she cares for you.” She tilted her head, weighing her next words. “Be patient. You and Bailey are young. Don’t give up on her friendship just yet.”
Her words resonated deep inside his soul. On the way to work, he couldn’t get past the theme of the afternoon. Patience. He wasn’t sure how that would play out in the weeks and months ahead, but he was sure of one thing: if God wanted him to be patient, he would be patient because Bailey was worth the wait.
Even if all he had to look forward to was her friendship.
Sixteen
ANDI HAD KEPT HER CONVERSATIONS WITH her parents to a minimum. Dad was so busy and her mom had too many questions about whether she was going to church and what she was reading in her Bible and whether she was dating or not. How could she break it to her parents that she hadn’t opened her Bible once since Christmas?
But this was the last day of March, her father’s birthday, and as she sat in her dorm room alone she suddenly missed him more than she had in a long time. She called him and smiled when he picked up on the first ring. “Daddy!” She wasn’t the girl she’d once been, but in this moment she sounded the same, like nothing had changed. “Happy birthday!”
“Andi! Thanks, sweetheart. I wondered if I’d hear from you today.”
“Where are you?”
“At home. We’ve been back and forth to LA almost every week, taking meetings around town, making plans and getting details in place for the next film.”
“So it’s really going to happen?” Andi felt a thrill run down her spine. “Brandon Paul and the whole deal?”
Her dad laughed. “We’re meeting with him and NTM tomorrow.”
“What?” Andi was on her feet, pacing the small floor of her dorm room. “I wanna be there! Who’s starring opposite him?”
He rattled off a list of NTM stars, girls with years of experience. “It’ll be a known name, for sure.”
Andi felt the disappointment. She’d read the book Unlocked twice, and she loved the storyline. Two brothers — one a high school football star, the other a young autistic boy who couldn’t connect with anyone until his brother’s friend — involved in musical theater — reached out. With the power of music, the doors of autism were unlocked and a bridge built between the two brothers. “Can I at least read for the part?”
“Honey.” There was no budging in her father’s voice. “This is an NTM film, with NTM stars. Everyone will be a household name.”
“But how do you become a household name if no one gives you a break?” She didn’t want to sound whiny, but what good was it for her father to make movies if she didn’t at least get a try when it came to casting?
“You wait your turn. And in your case, you finish school first.” He lightened his tone. “How’s the quarter going?”
“Great. Rehearsals are about to begin for Robin Hood.” She was Maid Marian — a bigger part even than her role as Isabelle in Scrooge. But Tim hadn’t gotten the part of Robin Hood. He was one of the merry men instead, so she was working mostly with kids she didn’t know. “My grades are good and I’m caught up.”
“What about your social life? You told your mom you were sort of seeing someone?” Her dad sounded awkward now, as if he really didn’t want to know.
“His name is Taz. He’s a film student.” She wasn’t ready to be fully honest about Taz or her feelings for him. She definitely wasn’t going to tell her dad about the student film she was about to shoot. “He’s interesting. I like hanging out with him. Nothing serious.”
The conversation lasted a little longer, and Andi wished him happy birthday again before hanging up. Only then did she exhale and sink back onto her bed. It was a lot of work, keeping up even this much of a facade for her parents. But she had no choice. If they knew about Taz’s strange way of thinking or the role she was about to take in his film, they’d be on the first plane to Indianapolis. They’d probably pull her from school. No need to worry them. She was entitled to explore a little. That’s what college was about.
She glanced at Bailey’s side of the room and wondered what her friend was doing. It was Friday midday, and that evening in a small classroom on campus Andi would film her first few scenes for Taz. Bailey was probably out with Tim, talking about the book of Romans or sharing a latte at the coffee shop off campus. Later tonight Tim would probably take her to a movie or hang out with her at the Flanigan house. Good and wholesome, her sweet friend Bailey.
Andi wanted more out of life.
She’d thought Cody might be the guy for her. Following his lead would’ve been one way she could’ve stayed on the straight and narrow, believing in God and His plans and the same old lines she’d believed all her life. But Cody wasn’t interested and she certainly wasn’t going to stay in her room alone, reading her Bible.
She finished her homework in two hours and checked the time on her phone. She was supposed to meet Taz and his team in less than an hour. She changed her outfit and slipped into her tightest jeans, a tank top, and a pull-over sweater. The scene called for her to look rebellious, so she darkened her eye makeup and added three extra layers of mascara. Even when she was satisfied with her makeup, she put her cosmetics in a travel bag and slipped them into her backpack. Taz had said to bring them, just in case they needed more.
Her decision to make the film was an easy one, especially after she read the screenplay. Her character was a good girl who only wanted to experience more of life. More than her parents were willing to let her experience. If Andi could relate to any character right now it was the teenaged girl Taz had dreamed up for his student film. If that wasn’t enough, Taz had shown her three of his previous student films, and Andi was blown away. The quality and depth of his movie-making was on the level of some of the top independent films around. She was honored to take the role, and Taz had promised her the partial nudity was nothing. A quick shot, necessary for the integrity of the film. Bra and jeans — so hardly any real nudity at all.
“You’d show more skin in a bathing suit,” he’d told her.
Andi stared at the mirror. Her father’s words came back to her. Wait her turn. Wait for the very chance he held in his hands — the chance to star opposite Brandon Paul. She felt the bitterness of her disappointment. Her own father wasn’t willing to help her. Fine.
Details of the night ahead played in her mind. “Tonight’s for me,” she whispered at her reflection. “I’ll show everyone.”
What better way than to star in Taz’s film. She could make a name for herself and get the recognition she obviously needed. Then maybe it would be her turn. She’d show NTM and the film industry and her father — all at the same time. She wanted to be like the real-life NTM princesses, the girls who snagged all the roles and were idolized by little girls all over the country.
Andi studied her features. She had the looks, right? But NTM stars had been auditioning in Hollywood since they were old enough to walk. Andi? She’d been stuck in the jungles. She felt her determination double. Never mind her late start. College would give her the chance to show the world she was a skilled actress even without the experience.
On her way out the door, Rachel Baugher’s journal caught her eye. How long had it been since she’d flipped through the pages of her friend’s final words? She hesitated and walked to her dresser. For a long time she stared at Rachel’s photo on the front, the same one that hung on her wall. Poor Rachel, who’d never lived long enough to experience life. Andi felt the loss of her friend like she hadn’t felt it in months. She opened the spiral-bound book to someplace in the middle and began to read.
“As a camel kneels before his master to have him remove his burden at the end of the day, so kneel each night and let the Master take your burden.” The quote was written in Rachel’s painstakingly neat printing, surrounded by white space above and below so that the words stuck out on the page. The idea was nice, and a few years ago Andi would’ve agreed. Kneel before God and He’ll take your burdens.
But Andi’s burdens were different now. She wanted to be a movie star. Most days she couldn’t understand how college was getting her any closer to her goal, with the exception of one thing — the movie she was going to make with Taz. Film projects like that would give her experience and open doors that simple prayer could never open.
Andi was sure of it.
She closed Rachel’s journal and set it back down on her dresser. But after a few seconds she slid it to the back of her top drawer, along with the framed photo of her friend. Rachel was gone. Looking at her face each day only confused her. And with the opportunity Taz was giving her, she couldn’t afford to feel confused. She shut the drawer and hurried from her dorm out across campus to the theater building.
When she reached the door of the classroom Taz had reserved for the film project, she saw there was dark paper taped across the small window. She smiled. Taz had promised her privacy. She knocked, and he opened the door after only a few seconds. His smile warmed her heart. “You’re early.”
“In case you needed me.” She felt suddenly breathless, excited about what lay ahead. The screenplay was truly cutting edge, relevant and honest. This would be her biggest role yet, and she wanted to prove she was up to the task.
Taz touched his fingers to her cheeks. “I always need you, Andi.” His voice was low and smooth, for her alone. “Make no mistake about that.” He ushered her into the room where several other people worked to set up the shoot. Two college kids assembled oversized lights near a quasi-set consisting of a bed, a nightstand, and a mirrored dresser. In another corner of the room a student worked on a sound panel, testing a wireless microphone.
Relief washed over Andi. In the back of her mind she hadn’t quite dismissed Bailey’s warning — that maybe Taz wasn’t legitimate, that he was some kind of weirdo, wanting her to strip in a student film. Now Andi could see Bailey would’ve approved. Nothing shady about the shoot whatsoever.
“You feeling it?” Taz turned to her. He touched his fingers to her shoulders and ran them lightly down the length of her arms.
She felt her cheeks grow hot. She felt his presence like a physical force — if that’s what he meant.
He grinned. “The character, I mean? Are you feeling the character?”
Again she relaxed. “Of course. I’ve studied the script ten times this week.”
“Good.” He came closer, looking her over. “A little more eye-liner.” He walked around her, looking over her outfit. “I’d like to tease out your hair a little. It looks too clean-cut the way it is.”
She nodded, quick to agree. “I wasn’t sure how to change that.”
“I can take care of it.” He called to a female student work
ing over a clipboard in another part of the room. “Norma, can you do some touch-up?”
“Of course.” The girl gave Taz a flirty smile.
A sense of pride came over Andi as she watched Taz. He wasn’t interested in the girl or anyone else. He only had eyes for her.
When Norma was satisfied with Andi’s hair and makeup, the two of them returned to the classroom. The lighting guys notified Taz that they were ready and then hung back, lost in their own quiet dialogue. A sound-proof observing area adjoined the room, and Taz ordered the crew into that space. “Places.” His voice was confident, methodical. Not a bark like most directors. “Quiet on the set.”
Other scenes would be shot on campus in daylight. Two were set to be filmed in a Bloomington diner. But tonight’s scenes would be the most intense, where Andi’s character was melting down and making choices about leaving home. Andi could relate to the character a little more each day.
“Andi …” Taz came to her and again touched his fingers to her cheek. His gentle caress sent electricity down her arms and legs. “You ready, love?”
She swallowed. “I am.” This was her break. She’d show everyone.
“Okay, take your place.”
Andi stood and smoothed the wrinkles in her shirt. She caught her reflection in the mirror and held it for a moment. What was that look in her eyes? Guilt? Anger took the lead in her emotions. Guilt should be the last thing she was feeling. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. She blinked and tried to work herself into character.
Only one other student remained in the room where the filming was taking place — the cameraman, already positioned behind the enormous lens.