She shakes her head. “No, it’s just that I didn’t think you were going to sing on it. You haven’t …”
I know we didn’t talk about it, but I just assumed. Plus …
“Well, if I don’t sing on it, who will?” Does she not realize I’ve been doing her a favor all these years? Giving my voice to her songs.
“I am.” She says it so softly.
Obviously this is some sick joke she’s playing.
I give a light laugh. “Oh, Emme, you almost had me. You know that I’d be more than happy to help you out. Plus, when I send out my demos, it will put your songs out there as well. It’s what friends do.”
I can’t believe Emme would forget that she’s always been a huge part of my Plan. Yes, my demo will get me recognition with managers and labels, but this is how she’ll get her break as a songwriter and producer as well. It’s how the business works. I’ve done my research, so a little appreciation would be nice.
Emme shakes her head. “I know, but it’s just … we’re recording in Ethan’s studio and it’s sort of a condition of his….”
“Oh. I get it. His condition is to ruin my life. Is that it? First, he refuses to let me see the song for the audition tomorrow and now he wants to prevent me from getting a record contract?”
Emme looks upset, like she’s about to cry. I don’t see what she has to cry about. It isn’t her life that’s being sabotaged, it’s mine.
“Sophie, he thinks it would be good for the college recruiters to hear me sing it, that’s all. We can record your vocals as well and do a demo for you.”
Well, that’s better. But there’s still something she’s not giving me.
“I’m sorry, Em. I know you’d never betray me. I’m just so worked up about tomorrow’s audition. If I just had some idea of the other song, just a little, teeny, tiny clue, I’d feel so much better.”
Oh, what a surprise, she’s biting her lip. She walks over to the full-size keyboard in her room.
“Okay. I don’t know it that well since I’m not playing on it. I’m just going to sit here and play what I remember. This is between you and me.”
I get up to give her a hug. “Oh, Emme! You have no idea how much I appreciate this. You’re the best!”
I sit back down on her bed and close my eyes and she starts playing a melody. I begin to hum along to it and play it in my head for the rest of the night.
I totally nail the audition. I know my “Send in the Clowns” is killer, but when Dr. Ryan hands me the sheet music for the sight-reading portion, I bite my lip (in honor of Emme!) and pretend to study it. I sing the first half of the song exactly as written, but then, for the last verse, I close my eyes and put my Sophie touch on it.
When I open my eyes, Dr. Ryan clearly looks impressed. Ethan looks pissed. Like I care.
“How’d it go?” Carter greets me at my locker.
“Incredible!”
He gives me a hug. “That’s great!”
“Listen, I’ve got my bag to get ready for tonight, so I figured we can go to your place so I can change.”
Carter and I are going to some art opening tonight. Totally not my thing, but it’s the first social thing he’s been up for in a while. I got this black cocktail dress and funky red shoes to go with the SoHo crowd. At least, I hope it’s in SoHo, or at the Met or MoMA. Somewhere with fabulously trendy people and an awesome swag bag.
“I thought we’d just have dinner down the street, since the exhibit is here.”
“What?”
Carter shakes his head. “I told you it was Trevor’s exhibit of his impressionist era–influenced paintings.”
I’m sure he did, but I have no idea what any of that really means. “I didn’t realize it was a CPA thing, plus I don’t know who Trevor is.”
“Trevor Parsons. He’s only the best art student in school.”
He says this like being the best art student is a big thing in this school. The stage is what matters.
“I thought we were going to some fabulous opening. We haven’t done that in forever. Can’t you call Sheila Marie and see if there’s anything going on tonight that’s fun?”
“But I want to go to this. And we can’t call Sheila Marie. She’s no longer my publicist. I don’t really want to deal with the press anymore.”
Here I had the most amazing audition, and Carter has to ruin it by taking me to some lame school event and firing his publicist.
It used to be fun to be with Carter, doing things like going to openings and getting my picture taken. But lately he’s been so weird. He doesn’t like to go out, he’s been talking about Emme just a little too much (it’s always about her, isn’t it?), and he’s even cutting down on his hours on the soap opera. If I wanted to date a normal high school boy, I’d go out with some guy back in Brooklyn who’d be dying to be seen with me on his arm.
“I’m sorry, I thought you knew.” Carter puts his muscular arm around me.
I lean into him. Carter’s a good guy and sometimes I can’t believe he’s my boyfriend. I dream big, but he’s so much more than I thought I would get. It’s not just his looks or his fame (although those help). I’m just thankful he isn’t that emotional a person; I’ve got too many of those people in my life as is. Plus, we look really good together. I figure once I get my record contract, he’ll come to some of my gigs, get me some press attention (mental note: talk to his mom about hiring a new publicist ASAP), then we’ll break up right before my album release, which the tabloids would love: “Single Sophie Stays Strong.”
I can practically see the cover now.
So I’ll go to some stupid art opening. It’s the least I can do.
After all, today has otherwise been a very, very good day.
You’d think that a school based on the study of performance and art would have better lighting.
After we eat and I change back into my normal school clothes for the day (thankfully, I wore a very cute fitted navy dress, just in case I didn’t have time to change into my outfit for the audition), Carter and I walk into the large art studio that’s hosting the exhibit. It’s mostly filled with the art students … and, of course, Emme and her entourage: Ethan, Ben, Jack, and Chloe. At least I know someone here.
Emme comes up to us, with Ethan following obediently behind her. “Hey, guys!” She gives us both hugs while Ethan just stands there.
“Sophie, you were wonderful at the audition today.” Emme is beaming.
Ethan decides to ruin this nice moment by speaking. “Yes, it’s remarkable how well you were able to pick up on my song. It’s almost like, I don’t know, you’d heard it before.”
Emme’s eyes grow wide.
Carter looks between Ethan and me. “What’s this?”
I wish Ethan didn’t hate me so much. He really is one of the most talented songwriters in school. It would be nice to have him on my side. I know he could write some truly amazing songs for me.
I turn to Carter. “Part of the audition was sight-reading, which always makes me so nervous. I was sick to my stomach over it. But when I found out it was a song by Ethan, I got so excited because I’ve always wanted to sing one of his songs. And it was so beautiful, it practically sang itself. I don’t think anybody could do a bad job singing it.”
Ethan’s reaction doesn’t change. But Emme eats it up. “Exactly! You did such a good job and it is one of my favorite songs by Ethan. We’re going to record it this weekend for his Juilliard pre-audition.”
“Impressive.” Carter’s attention moves back to the group after he scans the paintings on the wall. “You have to pre-audition?”
“Yeah,” Emme says, “you have to send in a tape, and that factors into whether or not you get asked to audition.”
“Yikes!” Carter makes a face. It isn’t very attractive.
“I know, and to add insult to injury, the Juilliard audition is two weeks after the showcase, so it will not be a fun winter. That is, if we get into the showcase and are asked to audition.”
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“Are you two auditioning together?” Carter gestures at Emme and Ethan.
Emme shakes her head. “No, we’re playing on each other’s audition tapes. But the band will be auditioning for the showcase … if we’re asked.”
“There’s no way you guys aren’t going to be in the showcase. No way.”
I wish Carter showed that much enthusiasm about me being in the showcase.
Emme smiles at Carter. I don’t know what’s going on between the two of them, but I don’t like it one bit. Emme has had a few dates, but the band keeps her too busy to have a serious boyfriend. Not that it isn’t obvious to everybody that Ethan worships her. Well, obvious to everybody but Emme.
“Hey, Carter.” Emme nudges him. “Let’s go say hi to Trevor!” She grabs him by the elbow and leads him off.
Ethan just stares at me.
“What?”
“I know you pressured Emme into playing the song for you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do.”
“I’ll admit I asked her about it, but Emme plays by the rules too much to do something ‘illegal’ like give me an advantage.” Emme’s naïve belief in playing fair guarantees that she will not make it in the music business. If she thinks CPA is cutthroat, wait until she gets to the real world. No one, not even Ethan, can protect her then.
“No, she wouldn’t do that … without being manipulated.”
“Honestly, Ethan, think what you want. I’m telling you the truth.”
He scowls at me. “Please. You are not that good an actress.” He walks away and heads over to the rest of his groupies.
Let me think; I was able to get holier-than-thou Emme to basically cheat to give me the leg up, promise me that I can record a demo that I can send out, and get her to write a song for the Senior Showcase … because we are BFFs. Not to mention that I’ve got the most famous student at CPA as my boyfriend.
I think that makes me an excellent actress.
Opening night.
For the past six weeks I’ve been pulling eighteen-hour days: Wake up at six, exercise, eat, go to school, study for two hours, and then rehearse my role as Desirée in A Little Night Music.
My parents and Emme worry that skipping college and going right into the “grind” will be too much for me. But I’ve proven that I can not only handle long and grueling days, but thrive. This is what I want to do. I love the busy days, rehearsing, performing. I understand that being worn out is part of this business. I know exactly what it’ll take to be a star. And I’m not afraid to go for it.
I step out on the stage and feel the warmth of the spotlight.
There is no question that this is where I belong. Every eyeball is on me.
Lead role in a major CPA production.
Check!
Now all I need is to land the lead spot in the showcase and it will all be mine.
Sophie is amazing. She gets a well-deserved standing ovation every night.
I look over to see her being congratulated at the after-party of our final performance. She’s beaming, as she should be.
“Here you go.” Ethan hands me some punch. “To getting it over with.”
We clink our glasses together. With our musical requirement out of the way, we can concentrate on our final project.
“I’m sick to my stomach thinking about the fact that we mailed our applications.”
Ethan and I went together to mail our pre-audition applications and CDs before tonight’s show. I don’t think I would’ve had the courage to do it if he hadn’t been with me, practically pulling the envelope out of my hand.
“Your songs are incredible. You sounded incredible.”
“Don’t remind me.” I have a hard time listening to me sing. The first take we did of my vocals was awful. But I got used to singing; it helped that Ethan was being so supportive. Although he is the only person I’ve allowed to hear me sing. Well, Ethan and the admissions staff at Juilliard. “What did you make me do?”
He laughs at me. “Oh, I don’t know, help you accomplish your dreams. Really, a simple thank-you will suffice.”
“Thank you.” I raise my glass to him.
“Don’t mention it. Actually, mention it … often.”
I don’t exactly know what’s happened to him, but he’s really turned around the last few weeks. There’s no drama, no self-pity; he’s just plain, regular Ethan.
“Okay, I have a favor to ask.”
He looks at me with a smirk on his face. “Oh, really? This ought to be good.”
“You have to promise me that you’ll tell me the second you hear from Juilliard and the other schools.” He scowls slightly. He’s always the first one of us to get his CPA acceptance for the following semester, but he always waits to tell us until we all receive ours. “This is a really big deal, and I want you to feel like you can celebrate it and not worry about if I’ve heard anything. Promise.”
He pauses for a second before he responds. “Okay.”
“Say it.”
“Promise.” He looks down at the floor for a few beats before he looks up at me. And he seems nervous. “Emme, I need you to know that —”
“Hey, guys!” Tyler Stewart approaches us. “Great job!” Tyler was the lead pianist in the orchestra for the show. I also had a little bit of a crush on him when we were in Advanced Piano last year.
“Thanks, although I really didn’t do much. You were extraordinary.” I feel my cheeks grow hot.
He smiles at me. “Oh, come on, that triangle can be pretty tricky.”
I laugh like an idiot. I’ve never been good at flirting. Ever. That’s probably why I’ve only had about four dates at CPA. I like to blame it on how busy we are. But it’s because I’ve got absolutely no skills when it comes to boys. Sure, I love the guys in the band, but they’re like brothers to me. There was never any question that we were only going to be friends, so there’s never been any pressure to be anybody but me.
“Well, I’m a girl of many talents.”
Oh, my goodness. What did I just say?
Fortunately, Tyler laughs and replies, “I’m sure you are.”
Ethan interrupts us. “I’m ready to head out.”
“Oh, okay.” Tyler looks disappointed.
The guys in the band are extremely protective of me, and always have been. There was this one guy who used to come to our gigs all the time last year and talk to me afterward. The guys referred to him as my stalker. He was innocent enough (and only fourteen), but Jack always stood over him like my bodyguard.
“Um, actually, I was going to hang around and go back to Brooklyn with Sophie,” I say. That’s technically not a lie. Sophie and I didn’t make plans to go back together, but I just assumed. Plus, it lets me stay longer and talk to Tyler without me appearing desperate.
Tyler lights up. “Great!”
Ethan hesitates. “Okay, see you tomorrow.” He gives me a quick hug and nods at Tyler.
After Ethan leaves, Tyler leans in. “I’ve got a confession to make. Ethan intimidates the crap out of me. That guy is a genius.”
I nod. “He really is. I’ve watched him write songs, and it just comes out of him so fast. It’s like it’s completely effortless, and I, of course, have to spend days, weeks even, obsessing over the simplest chord progression.” I think Ethan’s probably bored with our assignments in class, he’s always the first one to finish. He’d never admit it since the rest of us struggle, but I always wonder why he puts up with all the drama of CPA when he’s one of the few students who doesn’t really need the school’s help. He’s already a brilliant songwriter. “I have to admit that I was terrified the first time I had to play something I wrote in front of him. But he’s also one of the most supportive people in the program.”
Tyler puts his hand in his pockets. “Yeah, that’s great … um, since we’re confessing things, I also want to admit that I’m glad he left and that you’re still here.”
I think,
Play it cool, Emme. But “Me, too!” bursts from my lips with a little too much excitement.
Tyler and I sit on a couch and talk for the rest of the time. I don’t even notice when Sophie leaves. Or that Ethan texts me four times to see if I made it home okay. Or that Tyler and I are the last ones there.
All I know is that I have a date planned with Tyler Stewart.
Leave it to Jack to figure out something is going on.
“What aren’t you telling me, Red? You’ve got this little mischievous smile on your face.”
“I do not.”
He puts his hands on my shoulders and leans in to stare into my eyes.
“Yes, you do. I’ll admit, it suits you well. You should be a troublemaker more often.”
The four of us sit down in composition class. The last thing I need is those three giving me grief for my date on Wednesday with Tyler.
Thankfully, Mr. North starts class, which is the only thing that can quiet Jack down (somewhat). But he keeps tugging on my hair as Mr. North fills us in on the next CPA concert.
“Okay, guys, the alumni concert is coming up. I don’t need to remind you that some of our most prestigious alumni, and those with the deepest pockets, come each year to be wowed by the students. Now that you’re seniors, you get the privilege of putting on the show. The theme this year is Icons. Each performance will need to feature an icon or an iconic piece from one of the decades since CPA was founded. A representative from each group needs to come up and pick a decade out of the hat.”
Jack gets up for us and takes a piece of paper out of the hat. He unfolds it and nods his head with a big smile on his face. He shows Mr. North the paper and holds it out to us as he comes back to his seat. “The eighties.”
The other four groups pick their decades, and Mr. North reminds us that this is the last all-school performance before the showcase audition invitations are handed out.
“Okay,” Ethan starts us off. “We’ve got to make a statement here. I’m thinking that whatever we choose, it should be something loud, something big, very rock-heavy. Last year I wanted to fall asleep from all the power ballads. Just because some of the alumni are elderly, it doesn’t mean that we can’t spice things up.”