He exchanged info with Esther, his hands shaking. We left, and all eyes were once again on us as we headed down the stairwell.
As we walked by a playground situated between two blocks, Moses leaned over his balcony and shouted down at us. “Don’t be seen here again, girls.”
Esther nodded, and I kept my eyes on the curtains opening and the people coming out to stand in their doorways. Protecting their own. What had been really going on there?
As we got to Esther’s car, I was sure I felt eyes on me still. I glanced around and saw a car down the road, a familiar figure in the seat.
“Esther, I’ll make my own way home, okay?”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Ring me when you hear anything else.”
She drove off, leaving me free to confront my new stalker. I slunk down behind a car, ran in the shadows, and rapped on Shay’s passenger window as he was still craning his neck to try to see where I went. He jumped, and then with an unabashed grin, he leaned over and opened the door.
I sat in the passenger seat and closed the door. “Are you stalking me now?”
“Yes. Just making sure Moses was a gentleman.”
“Yeah, well, I can handle people like Moses.”
“Can I give you a lift?”
I looked back at the flats, feeling a shiver run down my spine. “Fine. But no more stalking.”
“I can’t actually promise that one,” he joked as he started the engine. “Moses behave?”
“Yeah. It’s an… odd neighbourhood.”
“Close knit,” he said. “Everyone taking care of each other. A real community.”
“Except for all the drug dealing.”
Shay shrugged. “Moses deals outside his neighbourhood. That’s his rule. He took over all of the dealers and sends them working outside his area. No dealing in the flats.”
“What a pioneer of morality. So everyone else’s kids are fine to coke up?”
“It could be worse. But they don’t like outsiders as much as I don’t like unanswered questions. Hence the stalking.”
“You make it sound like he’s doing something good,” I said.
“Don’t get me wrong, Ava. He’s a dangerous man. Never forget that.”
I directed him to my home, wondering how much crime was connected with the other world. “Why is he still on the streets?”
“Someone keeps getting him out of trouble.” Shay frowned. “Haven’t found out how he manages it, but he seems to have made friends in high places.”
“Of course he has,” I murmured.
I was comfortable around Shay. He didn’t have a clue about me, so there were no anxious feelings trapping me in a whirlwind of tense emotion. I hadn’t been in blood-freak mode for a while now, and his didn’t seem to call out to me, so it was pretty freaking relaxing in his company.
“Your nan doing okay?” I asked as he pulled into my cul-de-sac.
“As good as can be expected. She was asking about you. The girl with fire for hair.”
“Isn’t she blind?”
“Pretty much. Yet she managed to see you.” He grinned. “Let’s hope not all of her guesses come true.”
I stared at him for a few seconds in confusion. “I’m down at the end. You can let me out here though.”
“That’s okay.” He pulled in right outside my house.
I became suspicious that he had already known my address. I thanked him anyway and got out of the car, slamming the door behind me.
“Ava,” he called out, following me to my gate.
I faced him, running through every bad scenario in my head. He could be working for anyone. Anyone at all. But there were no shadows. No anger. No fear.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I was wondering if I could take you out some time.”
I stared at him for a couple of seconds, wondering if I heard him right. “What, like a date?”
“Yeah.”
I burst out laughing.
The smile dropped off his face. “Not quite the response I was looking for.”
“No, it’s not you. It’s just… I’ve never been asked out on an actual date before, and the first time is from a Garda who doesn’t even know me.” I bit down on more hysterical laughter. He thought I was normal, an ordinary woman. And I didn’t want to be the one to tell him otherwise. Being normal, even for only a few minutes, felt surreal in a good way.
“Off-duty,” he said, grinning again. “And the point of the date was to get to know you.”
“I can’t. I’m sorry,” I said, sobering.
“You’re with Peter.” It wasn’t a question.
I shook my head. I couldn’t actually claim that.
“But you’re… waiting for him,” he said softly.
I couldn’t even attempt to answer that.
“You’ll be good for him,” he said, touching my arm gently. He turned to leave, but hesitated, giving me a worried glance. “But I don’t know if he’ll be good for you.”
He left me standing there with a strange ache in my throat. I struggled to control the urge to count. I always hated when people voiced my own fears.
Chapter Ten
Esther was going to England, and I was terrified for her. She seemed happy to be getting some responsibility, but whenever I remembered the BVA and how callous they were, it worried me more than I could say. Esther was on a triple-threat of a mission. She had her Guardian responsibilities, was tracking down a possible witness, and hopefully, figuring out a way to make contact with the twins.
I expressed my worries to Carl, and he seemed to share my concerns. But he appeared to be more troubled about the marks on my arms. The burns hurt, and they were definitely a good reminder.
“How many more scars are they going to give you?” he exclaimed when I rolled up my sleeves after we had lunch together.
“As many as it takes.” I gave a harsh laugh. “It’s not like they’re my only scars, Carl.” I still had vampire bite scars on my hand and chest, not to mention a raised scar on the back of my neck from Becca’s claws. A tiny scar from a bullet wound decorated my stomach. Ugly scars ran around my entire calf from two separate biting incidents.
“Good thing you’re a tomboy,” he said, ruffling my hair. I shrugged him off easily, and he threatened me with his walking stick.
“Down, boy, or I won’t tell you everything that’s been happening.”
I ran through everything that had occurred in the last few days. Peter, Shay, Moses… all of the information had been whirling around my brain, and I desperately needed someone who could sort it out.
“Maybe you should avoid the copper, Ava.”
“He’s the one following us around.” I hadn’t told Carl about Shay asking me on a date, and I wasn’t really sure why. Shay’s interest had unsettled me more than I could have expected, perhaps because I didn’t see myself as a real person, and there was someone who didn’t know any different. I could be anything to him if I let myself. But I wouldn’t. “I think he’s trying to make sense of the half-truths he knows.”
“What if he’s not? What if he’s working for someone else? Trying to see what you know.”
“It’s possible, but Peter seemed really happy to see him. And Peter trusts nobody.”
“I’m just saying. Be careful. He seemed genuine, but we’re surrounded by backstabbers. Who can we really trust?”
“I trust you,” I said without thinking.
“That’s different. The whole bond thing makes that a given.”
We hadn’t talked about our old bonds before, and I fidgeted with my sleeve. “Do you still feel it?”
He shook his head. “Not like before. You know, after the first time we broke it.”
“I think it wasn’t really broken then. I think Eddie knew that, too. But it was probably really the only way I could take you back from Alannah.”
“I’ve had my own mind,” he clarified. “You weren’t telling me what to do. Actually, you were, but I never listened.?
?? He grinned.
“I don’t mean the mind control part. I mean… the connection? It’s as if I was so protective of you because, deep down, I still felt as though you were mine. That sounds weird, right?”
He held up his hand. “No, I get it. Everything that happens now sounds weird when you say it out loud, but it makes sense on some other level.”
“And then there was the second bond,” I said, watching him carefully. “And my blood.”
He inhaled sharply. My feeding him my blood in a desperate attempt to save his life hadn’t been discussed by any of us, avoided in the same way we ignored the fact that Peter had offered me his blood to save Carl. It was a twisted circle, but it might just have been the things that kept us all so closely knit together.
“It didn’t change me.” But it sounded like a question.
“No. But Gabe asked me what I did when he tried to heal you. He knew there was something different.”
“You helped. I was asleep, but I was conscious. I felt you inside me. That sounds creepy, but it’s true. I didn’t remember, though. Not at first. Sometimes, in my dreams, I see it again. The light. It’s beautiful.” His eyes watered, and for the first time, I wondered what exactly we had done to make Carl better. I knew he still had nightmares, and they were probably my fault, too.
“When’s Esther leaving?” he asked abruptly. Baby steps.
“Tomorrow night. The others are following her over by the weekend.”
Carl snorted. “How did she get Aiden to let her go?”
“She’s an adult.”
“Tell that to her brother. Are we having a goodbye drink then?”
“What is it with you lot and alcohol?” I teased.
Carl arranged for the four of us to meet up at Gabe’s bar again, and I couldn’t help wondering if he was maybe avoiding some problems that didn’t involve us.
“Everything okay at home?” I asked him gently.
“Fine.” But his jaw tensed. He had suffered most from meeting us, yet he couldn’t keep away, and sometimes I wondered if it was down to the bonds I had created with him, especially the ones meant to help him. We might never know for sure, but I understood the things he had said about feeling things on a base level.
I wanted to ask him more about it, but Eddie stepped onto the shop floor and interrupted us by clearing his throat in that way of his that meant my time was up.
“I need to speak with you,” I said, remembering Shay’s nan.
“Perhaps I can fit you in next week.” He smiled in a way that didn’t reach his eyes.
“Now,” I said, ignoring the books falling from the shelves as he expressed his anger.
“Ava,” Carl whispered, sounding worried.
“See you tonight, Carl.” I brushed past them and went straight into the backroom. I kept a wary mental eye on Eddie, just in case he sent a sneaky attack my way, but he settled down, and Maeve brushed through my hair in welcome. Or warning. I could never tell for sure.
“What now?” Eddie asked as he took a seat.
“I heard a story the other day. A really interesting story.”
He sighed wearily. “What’s your point, Ava?”
I frowned. I wasn’t totally sure. “An old woman told me the place where she lives is cursed because the gods abandoned them as punishment. She said the water the gods bathed in made special children, and that darkness came and took the children. One of the gods was Ogham, I think. Make me understand, please.”
He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. “I suppose this was near an Ogham stone.”
“A number of them, actually. In Kerry.”
His body jolted. “Kerry. What’s to understand, Ava?”
“What happened there, and what it has to do with what’s happening now. Is this something to do with your gods? Why Peter’s son was taken? Tell me!”
“Calm down. You act like it’s something personal, like the loss of his child was planned. His child is gone, Ava. He’s gone. Stop trying to give Peter’s pain a purpose.”
“I’m not. I’m trying to help Peter.”
“Then get him to live in the present rather than the past. The story you heard, and I’d love to know how you heard it, is likely true. Gods can be cruel masters, but they leave gifts behind, and yes, in certain times, the devoted benefited. But I’ve told you before, people slowly forgot the old gods, betrayed the old ways, and the gods left them to sleep. With that sleep, they took away their protection also, and all manner of things were allowed to prey in places they never had before.”
“And they stole the gifts? I mean, literally?”
He nodded. “Sometimes. Sometimes dark things escape their prisons, and sometimes those who are supposed to be good are the ones who set them free. Sometimes they are confused young people who know no better. Sometimes not.”
“You know then. Who set them free? What are the dark things?”
“I don’t know anything you can use. But I’ve told you before, Ava. Times are changing. We need change. Fresh voices in command. It’s the perfect opportunity for those in hiding to crawl to the surface and force their hands.”
“You mean rebels. Where are they?”
He shook his head, sadness in his eyes. “I can’t see them. Nobody can. No matter what I do, they remain hidden. But you could find them for me. I’m sure you could. You could help me change everything, Ava.”
“Help you start a war, you mean.”
“No. Help me fix our country. What kind of people are in charge, Ava? The kind who allow children to be taken. The kind who protect the darkness. Think about it. Think about what you should do.”
I stood abruptly, suddenly terrified. “I… I don’t…”
He smiled, and Maeve brushed my hands urgently. “Think,” he said again.
“I have to go.”
I fled, only waving at Carl as I left. Eddie wanted to instigate something terrible, but what if he was right? What if something so drastic was the only solution? What if I could help him stop those who needed to be stopped?
What if I caused a disaster that killed innocent people?
***
I thought it was just the four of us meeting that night at Gabe’s bar, but Esther brought a few friends, and it seemed impossible to talk to her in private. Carl appeared to enjoy himself, but Peter was withdrawn again.
I sat next to him. “You all right?”
He nodded glumly, and I knew I had to reach out to him, to force him back to us.
“Haven’t heard from you much,” I said hesitantly, realising he was likely to run if I pushed too hard. I was walking on eggshells around everyone in my life.
“I’m not good company right now, Ava.” He sounded more tired than angry, and that encouraged me. I leaned against him, and he let me.
He took another gulp of his drink. “This isn’t working anymore. Seeing Shay brought it all back. He was good to me back then. I’ve never thanked him, and now I don’t know how.”
“Saying the word usually works.”
“It’s not enough. I told you I was on the list of suspects for… the murders. Well, he was the one person who stood up for me, who didn’t act like I was some scumbag murderer. He acted as though he were on my side, and he even came to the hospital when I… when I couldn’t manage. I had never met him before everything fell apart, but he was the only one who came to see me.”
“No family?” I asked, thinking of what Shay said about Peter’s uncle visiting him.
“Told you. My only family is in Spain. My da didn’t really think it was worth coming home for. If it wasn’t for Shay, I wouldn’t be sitting here today. I wouldn’t be sitting anywhere today. I wish I could tell him. Explain to him what’s really happening.”
“But you can’t.”
“But I can’t.” He squeezed my knee. Too hard. “Are we getting closer to the end, Ava?”
I realised just how drunk he was, and my heart sank. “We’re getting closer, Peter. Don’t worry.” I couldn
’t tell him about Eddie. I couldn’t tell him about so many things, and I worried he could see the lies in my eyes.
But not when he was drunk. He was blind when he was drunk.
I left early, leaving everyone to their own devices. Sometimes I couldn’t breathe for how sad I felt for Peter. And sometimes I couldn’t breathe for how angry I was at him. He was his own worst enemy.
***
I decided to work on my business while Esther was gone. It had to be better than sitting around worrying about her. I couldn’t sleep the night after she left, so I opened a spreadsheet and tried to forget about our collective mission. We had no more fresh leads, and I didn’t want to go looking for old leads again.
The trip to Kerry had unsettled me. Shay’s nan had seemed as though she came from another time. And I well believed their curse of silence because even I hadn’t wanted to speak much while we were there. Some kind of eerie gloom loomed over the village, and I had been filled with such a sense of foreboding that I never wanted to go back. The childless village filled me with a new kind of dread.
I was interrupted from my work, or rather my staring at a blank screen, later that night by a loud rap on the door. For some reason, I expected to see Shay, but Peter stood on my porch, his eyes bright with excitement. Sober Peter. Awesome.
“Answer your phone, woman,” he said, brushing past me.
“It’s charging. What’s up?”
He fell onto the sofa with a grin, pulling me onto his lap. “Esther called me when she couldn’t get an answer from you.”
“Is she okay?”
“Yeah, fine. She’s tracking down that old man. Anyway, she wanted you to know she got a call from the drug dealer. He’s set up a meeting for the weekend, if you’re still up to it.”
I grinned. “Of course I’m up for it.”
“Well, good, because I already arranged it. I can almost taste it, Ava. This could be it.”
I tried to get up, but he held tight. Closeness only ever came when he had the scent of a hunt.