We find our way back to our car where it appears to be unwatched. We were fearful that perhaps we were found because it had been tracked, but with our things and most of our money sitting in it, we don’t have much choice except to go back. We watch the car sitting innocently in the parking lot for an hour before we deem no one is watching it. We then drive it through the first back street we can find, ambling through several other back streets before we end up parking it down a street that only has one light working, which is further up so we’re mostly covered in darkness. I only hope this isn’t a bad neighborhood.
It’s now absolutely freezing outside and, with the heater off in the car, I’m soon starting to feel the cold creep in.
“I should stay up front in case we need to get the car started quickly. If you want you can sleep in the backseat.” Charlie shrugs at me, sounding distant. His body is still tense and his eyes dart all around, looking for any signs that we’re in trouble.
I shiver again, not really sure if it’s the cold making me shake or feeling so scared that someone might have gotten caught, that we all might still get caught.
“I…” I don’t know what I want to say. This is all too much, everything is too scary.
“Come here.” Charlie holds out his arms and I move into them, half lying on his chest. The warmth of his body helps ease my panic and I slowly find myself breathing a little easier.
“I think Rose might be right.” I finally find my voice.
“About us all splitting up?” Charlie’s arms tighten around me.
“Yes. Tonight you had a clear shot of getting away and you didn’t take it because of me.”
“You think I should have just left you behind?” He snorts, letting me know what he thinks of that idea.
“You could have gotten away, but you risked being caught to help me.”
“If we were alone and that happened, there would be no one to help you. Me being there meant we’re both here now. We’re both safe.”
“Next time we might not be so lucky. Next time it might mean us both being caught instead of just one of us. Maybe we should be apart.”
“No, Zoe.” He sounds resolute and I lift my head to look at him, my heart stuttering as I see his determination directed at not wanting to leave me. I feel awed.
“I think we need to do this, but I also think this shouldn’t be permanent.”
“Meaning?”
“Rose is right, they will expect us to do certain things. Us staying together will be one of them. We simply have to throw them off now, it doesn’t have to stay that way. Maybe in a year’s time we can meet back up?”
“A whole year apart?” He moves an arm away from me and I watch him move his hair about in what most certainly must be a nervous tick.
“I had a dream back at The Windmill of us together, remember? It hasn’t happened yet. Maybe if we make sure it doesn’t, then it’ll mean I dreamt of something that is still coming. It means we will meet up again.”
“What happened in this dream? Do you have any idea how into the future it was?”
“We… well, we kissed.” My face reddens. Of course we have kissed several times, but that kiss had been different. That kiss had been leading us to more.
“But we’ve already kissed now? How do you know we haven’t already lived that future?”
“Let’s just say this kiss had us feeling that clothes weren’t important.”
Charlie gapes down at me. “I’m going to be tortured for a year knowing that. Did we look older in the dream?”
“I wasn’t really paying attention to our age…”
“The kiss was that good?”
“Better.”
“Perhaps we don’t have to wait a year for it?” Charlie leans down as I look up at him and our lips touch gently before becoming more frantic. My mouth opens to his, my senses overloading as he takes control of my mouth. I feel my entire body reacting to him. Heat flashes through me and I allow myself to get caught up in it. His hand moves down to my hip, grabbing it roughly and moving me further into his arms so that I am facing him; my leg moves over him so I’m sitting on his lap while our kiss never breaks the entire time. I feel his excitement against me and it jolts me back to where we are.
I pull away, moving my hands against his chest when his lips try to follow my retreat. It takes me a moment to catch my breath. “No, that kiss has to stay in the future. I need to know I’ll see you again.”
“That’s not fair. You’ll be able to dream of a hundred kisses while we’re apart. I’ll just have to remember the few we’ve shared now.”
I smile, hearing him say that. He thinks we’ll have a hundred kisses for me to dream about? “A year will go quickly, we’ll be back together soon.” I know I’m lying. A year will feel like forever, especially if I’m forced to spend it with Joel.
“I’m going to miss you, Zoe.”
“I’m going to miss you, too.” Tears well in my eyes and it doesn’t take long before they fall down my face and I wonder why I have to go through so much loss. I had lost Dad when he walked out on Mom and me. I then lost Frank a few years later. Now I’ve lost Dana, lost a future Drew, lost my old life and just when I find someone who makes me feel like me again, who makes me feel like things might actually be okay, I lose him, too. What horrible thing have I done in my life to deserve all this?
“I’m going to be counting down those three hundred and sixty five days until I see you again.”
“So will I.”
We stay in silence then and it’s a long time before I hear Charlie softly snoring, his vigil forgotten. I can’t sleep, the same thoughts running through my head over and over. Is everyone okay? Has anyone been caught? Where are they all sleeping right now? Hotels will be an obvious place to check for us. Has anyone been hurt?
When my thoughts finally circle back to Charlie, I feel even more worry. Will he be okay on his own? Will I have to wait longer than a year to see him? Will things continue to feel this strongly between us when we’re able to reunite? Are we still on the run when we have that kiss or have we both been recaptured? Right now, there is only one thing I know for sure; I’m not likely to be getting any sleep tonight.