All too vividly Diana could picture Seth out in California in his dark little apartment. Near his bed would be a picture of dear old Summer. He would kiss it at night, he would dream about her, he would fill his fantasies with her.
In the meantime, Summer was busy filling her fantasies with Austin.
Kind, sweet, good-hearted Seth. He deserved better than that.
He deserved someone like Diana.
Maybe it was time to give Mallory’s assistant a call about that ticket to California.
After Seth hung up, Summer clutched the portable phone tightly, as if she were holding his hand. His last I love you rang in her ear like a shrill alarm.
Austin was leaning with his back to the railing. “I take it that was my competition?”
“Seth is not your competition. You have no competition.”
Austin smiled.
“You know what I mean.”
“You didn’t mention me,” Austin said accusingly.
“You didn’t come up.” Summer glanced over her shoulder nervously. “I’m afraid Diana thinks we were…you know.”
“But we weren’t you-knowing. We had you-know interruptus.” Austin raised his brows. “Although I got the feeling you would have you-knowed if you-know-who hadn’t called.”
Summer felt the guilt boiling up inside her. It was bad enough before, when she’d been attracted to Austin over spring break. But now she was an engaged woman, a woman with a great big symbol on her left hand (well, maybe not so big) that told the world she’d found Mr. Right.
Summer joined Austin at the railing. Vivid dawn colors spilled across the surface of the bay. A silver fish popped into the air like a wingless bird, then gently splash-landed.
“I’m going to tell you something, Austin,” Summer said evenly. “Just so you understand.” She cleared her throat.
“I’m all ears.”
“After you left me, I told Seth the whole truth. About how I felt about you, I mean.” She stole a glance at Austin. His hopeful gaze made her stiffen, but she pressed on. “I told him that if you had stayed, I wasn’t sure what I would have done. I told him that…that I’d had real feelings for you.”
“I knew you did,” he said. The sound of triumph in his voice told her he hadn’t really been so sure.
“But then time went on, and you were gone, and I realized just how much I’d always loved Seth. I realized that I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”
“You can’t possibly know that,” Austin scoffed.
“Why not?”
“Because for starters, it’s crazy to talk about your whole life that way.” Austin looked down into the placid water. “Who knows what your whole life even means? I don’t presume I’ll live till the ripe old age of ninety with my high-school sweetheart. In my family, it just hasn’t worked out that way for some of us. Our genes have other ideas.”
For a moment Summer wondered if he was going to cry, but his mouth hardened into a tight line of resolve.
“And besides,” Austin continued, “just because you have a high school diploma, Summer, doesn’t mean you understand the workings of the universe. You haven’t had enough experience to make a life-changing decision like getting engaged.”
“Oh, and you have? How many girlfriends are enough to know, Austin? Three? A dozen? A hundred? What if girl number one hundred and three is the right one, and you settle for number one hundred and two?”
Austin looked at her and sighed. “All I know is that I am madly in love with you, right now, this instant. I don’t know where either of us will be or how we’ll feel next October, or five years from now…” His voice trailed off. “Or for however long we’re around. I can’t make promises, Summer. Promises are like that glitter on your finger. They can get lost way too easily. Look at all the divorces in the world. You think those people didn’t mean it when they said ‘till death do us part’?”
Summer moved her left hand, watching her diamond flash softly. In her parents’ wedding album there was a picture of her mother gazing fondly at her own diamond ring. It had caught the dazzling light of the photographer’s flash, making it look far bigger than it really was.
“How can you settle for Seth when you haven’t even given me a chance?” Austin asked.
“There’s a difference between settling and making a choice, Austin. I’ve made my choice.”
He shrugged. “Well, it’s not like I’m going away. I don’t give up easily, Summer. I almost lost you once already.”
“I think you should probably go now.”
“You can keep the muffins.”
“Thanks.”
“You still getting a place with Marquez and Diana?”
She nodded.
“Whereabouts?”
“We haven’t decided.”
“You wouldn’t move without leaving a forwarding address, would you?”
She smiled a little. “You bet I would.”
“I’ll find you.” Slowly Austin turned to leave, then hesitated. “I guess you’re not up for a good-bye you-know?”
“How about a handshake?”
Austin took both her hands in his and held tight. He looked down at her ring. “Before long, that ring will be off your finger,” he said confidently.
“It’s never coming off,” Summer replied.
She didn’t sound nearly as confident.
9
Anchors Aweigh
“Five more minutes,” Marquez vowed, waving to Diver as she ran by him on the beach. She was still feeling exhausted from her graduation party the night before, but exhaustion was no excuse not to exercise.
Diver was sitting on the white sand in his swim trunks, watching her with a look that said he just didn’t get it. Well, Diver didn’t have to get it. He was naturally lean and could eat whatever he wanted. Whereas Marquez could eat a potato chip and watch it instantly take up residence on her hips.
Marquez picked up her pace a little, although she was so winded she was sucking air like a vacuum hose. She nodded to a jogger passing her on the wet sand. She’d never had a clue how many people were up at the crack of dawn like this, dashing across the beach as though they had a bus to catch.
She’d flirted with exercise over the years, of course. Read the magazines that told her “Twenty Minutes a Day Is All It Will Take to a Shapelier You.” Mostly she’d just rolled her eyes at all the people trying so hard to turn themselves into Cindy Crawford clones.
But now things were different. Marquez wasn’t sure why. They just were.
Exercise was only the beginning. Marquez had bought one of those little food scales so that she could tell how many ounces of Grape-Nuts she really was consuming. She’d learned to cut up her food into tiny bits and savor it, morsel by morsel.
And it had paid off. She’d heard it in the compliments of friends and casual acquaintances. She’d felt it in the way what she called her “fat jeans” hung slackly from her newly thinner hips.
Of course, Diana said she was losing too fast. And Diver said it, too. But what did they know? They were congenitally, pathologically, unfairly thin people.
Diver, strangely, hadn’t once said anything about her new and improved look, which just told Marquez the obvious: She was still way too fat. She couldn’t exactly expect him to compliment her. A guy as gorgeous as Diver was practically accosted by beautiful girls everywhere he went.
Marquez gulped at the air, arms and legs pumping, sweat trickling down her chest. When she reached the little dock that signaled her turnaround point, she allowed herself to slow up just a little. Her thighs and calves were searing with pain, but that was the price she had to pay for all those surreptitious Milky Ways over the years.
She turned, veering past a giddy Labrador retriever out for a run with its female owner, and headed back to the spot where Diver sat anchored to the sand.
That’s what he was, her anchor.
The word had come to her that morning, after loading the last chair into the cram
ped U-Haul and kissing her mother and father and brothers good-bye. Thank God for Diver. Thank God he’s there for me right now. My parents are leaving, and my house is being taken over by strangers. I’m done with high school, and I’m not sure I can swing college. And my ex-boyfriend is out running around with a girl who looks like Kate Moss on Slim-Fast.
Diver is my anchor. That’s what Marquez had told herself while tears had streamed down her face and she’d promised her mom and dad and brothers all kinds of things. I’ll write every day, I’ll take my vitamins, I’ll get a nice job, I’ll eat more, yes, I promise I’ll eat more.
She’d watched the U-Haul grumble away down the tiny palm-lined street where she’d grown up. Then she’d climbed in her ancient Honda and hightailed it up the coast to Diver’s place.
She was getting Jell-O legs, all wobbly and uncertain. The sand made running so hard, but that was good. Hard was good because hard meant more calories were being burned away. She hadn’t eaten that morning, which was even better. That way the exercise wasn’t wasted on her disgusting, never-ending appetite, the little weak beast inside of her.
Diver smiled as she neared. He was so intensely handsome. She knew that when people saw them together, they never dreamed she and Diver were boyfriend and girlfriend. They were so mismatched. It wasn’t just because he was a golden boy from Swedish and English stock and she was Cuban-American. It was because he was a perfect, chiseled specimen of humanity and she was a shapeless blob of tan-colored Play-Doh. But that was going to change.
She loved Diver with all her heart. She was going to keep him, somehow. Somehow she would find a way to be sure he never left her, the way J.T. had left her.
Marquez dropped onto the sand beside Diver. Her head was swimming as though she’d just spent an hour in the spin cycle of her parents’ old Maytag. She put her head between her legs and tried to breathe.
“Hey,” Diver said, rubbing her back, “you okay?”
“Fine. Just…winded.”
“You sure?”
“I’m fine. It’s the price we jocks pay.” Marquez wiped the sweat off her brow and checked her watch. “Man, I should get going soon. Diana and Summer and I are going apartment hunting today.” She dropped her head onto his hard, sun-warmed shoulder. “I wish you weren’t so far away. This drive is murder. I don’t suppose you’d like to be a fourth roommate?”
Diver laughed. “My sister wouldn’t like that.”
“She’d get over it.” Marquez grinned. “And you could share a room with me. Think of the possibilities.”
“I’ve thought of the possibilities,” Diver said, kissing her softly. He had a way of brushing his lips over hers that sent ripples of longing down to her toes. It was as intense and fleeting as a flash of heat lightning.
Marquez wished Diver would say, “Yes, sure, I’ll move in with you,” but of course he wouldn’t. Not with Summer there. And probably not even if Marquez had a whole place to herself. Diver was a loner. He liked his privacy. He wasn’t ready for a relationship like that yet. And maybe Marquez wasn’t either. She sometimes spent the night at Diver’s, but they never did anything, never crossed the line. Sure, they made out for long, passionate, wonderful hours. But that was as far as it ever went. It seemed to be the way Diver wanted it.
Marquez wasn’t sure what she’d do if Diver were more like J.T. With J.T., it had always been like a game of keep-away, with Marquez dodging and scolding and finding a billion different ways to say, “No, I’m not ready for that, J.T.”
But with Diver…she wasn’t so sure. Maybe it would make them closer. Maybe then she would be sure she could hold on to him.
“There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you,” Diver said, trailing a finger through the sand.
“How much you adore me?”
“You know I do.” Diver smiled tolerantly. He always just assumed Marquez understood how he felt, as if she were a mind reader. He hoarded words like gold, doling them out with care. “There’s a new wildlife rehabilitation center opening down on Coconut Key. They’re looking for help, and I thought I might apply….”
Marquez’s heart jumped. “Diver, if Diana and Summer and I can find a place there, then you and I would be in the same town. That would be fantastic!”
He nodded. “It would be.” He glanced over his shoulder at the makeshift tree house he’d been living in for the last few months. “I’d miss it here, but it would be good to be near you. And I can’t stay here forever. This new job would mean more training.” He made a face. “Summer said I can’t hide out and escape forever. It made me…think. Don’t tell her that, though.”
Marquez squeezed his hand. “Apply, okay? I’d feel so much better if you were closer.”
“Okay,” Diver said. He kissed her again, and she shivered a little.
After a while she stood on reluctant legs. “Where are you going?” Diver asked.
“I got my wind back. I thought I’d do another lap.”
He pulled on her arm. “Stay here,” he said softly. “No more running for a while, okay? Let’s just sit and watch the waves.”
Marquez hesitated. “I’ll be back before you know it,” she promised. “The waves can wait.” She took off down the sand before he could answer.
Two more laps, Marquez thought as she ran. She could pull off two.
Maybe even three, if she really tried. The waves could wait. And so could Diver.
10
In Search of the Perfect Apartment
11:35 A.M.: Quaint 2 BR, 1 bath apartment.
Tub with feet, fireplace, charm to spare.
Must see to believe!
“Well,” Summer said, clearing her throat, “I see it, but I don’t believe it.”
“At least they weren’t lying about the tub,” Marquez said. “It has feet, all right.”
Diana sighed. “So do the rats.”
“We’ll think about it,” Summer told the manager.
12:15 P.M.: Immaculate 1 BR, den.
No smokers. Won’t last.
“So, yes or no?” the caretaker asked. She took a long drag on her Marlboro.
“I was sort of wondering where the den was,” Summer said. “We were going to use it as a second bedroom.”
The woman pointed.
“But that’s a closet,” Marquez protested.
Another satisfied puff. “It’s got a door on it, right?” the woman asked hoarsely.
Marquez nodded.
“It’s got an outlet in it, right?”
“You mean, to plug stuff in?” Summer asked.
The woman rolled her eyes. “First apartment, huh?” She jangled her keys. “It’s got an outlet, it’s got a door, it’s a den. Yes or no?”
“We’ll think about it,” Summer said.
1:20 P.M.: Sunny bungalow, pets okay,
eat-in kitchen, AC, steps to beach.
“It’s hot in here,” Diana said.
“Sweltering,” Marquez agreed. “I thought this place had air-conditioning.”
Summer pointed to the ceiling fan.
“Oh,” Marquez said wearily.
“Beach access, too.” The manager jerked his thumb. “A mile and a quarter up the highway.”
Summer checked the ad. “Just a few steps,” she quoted.
“Yeah,” Marquez muttered, “if you’re the Jolly Green Giant.”
“We’ll think about it,” Summer told the manager.
2:10 P.M.: Beautiful, quiet, secure 2 BR, 2 bath.
Walk to shops. Caring management.
“It really is beautiful,” Summer murmured as Diana parked her car.
“And quiet and secure. And you really could walk to downtown,” Marquez added excitedly.
A balding middle-aged man appeared from behind the building. Gold chains sparkled around his neck. His huge stomach strained at the buttons of his sweat-stained shirt.
He gave an enthusiastic wave. “Well, well, it’s my lucky day,” he called. “You the gals who called about the apa
rtment?”
“I’m guessing that would be the caring management,” Diana said with a sigh.
“We’ll think about it,” Summer called.
Diana floored the gas pedal.
“The thing is, I’m about to be homeless.” Marquez sipped at her diet Coke that afternoon. The girls sat at a wobbly table, the rental ads spread between them.
The air in the little café was sultry. The restaurant was on the bottom floor of a yellow house located on a tiny cobblestoned street filled with shops and restaurants that backed onto the water.
“You’re not homeless. You can always stay with Diana or me till we find a place,” Summer assured her.
“The new people are moving in next Monday,” Marquez said sullenly. “I have to have all my stuff out by then.”
Diana folded the paper and pushed a damp lock of hair off her forehead. “Man, it’s hot. We could have at least picked a restaurant with air-conditioning.”
“I think it’s charming,” Summer said, “in a tacky sort of way. There’s a bookstore attached to the café and everything.”
“I do like Coconut Key a lot,” Marquez said. “There’s more to do than there was on Crab Claw. There are restaurants and a movie theater and a mall. And it’s a college town. FCU’s here, so Diana and I would be all set this fall—assuming, that is, I can get together enough cash to cover books and stuff. And there’d be a lot more people our age than on Crab Claw.” She grinned. “More male meat on parade.”
“Summer doesn’t need more male meat,” Diana said dryly. “She’s getting plenty. If anything, Summer needs to go on a vegetarian kick for a while.”
Marquez looked at Diana curiously, then at Summer. “What’s she talking about?”
Summer shrugged uncomfortably. She really didn’t want to get into it.
“Summer had a little visitor this morning,” Diana said, smirking. “Or I guess I should say a big visitor. How tall is Austin, Summer? About six-two?”
“Austin came to see you?” Marquez cried.