sofa with arms stretched on both sides. It had started getting
dark. There was only whatever light was coming from the
TV. After some time she went to the fridge, poured herself
a glass of wine and came toward the sofa. My arms were
still extended on both sides. She sat close to me nestling
between my armpits and chest. Her hair was brushing
against my cheeks smelling of shampoo. She was again
wearing that long T-shirt from Arkansas.
69
RAJ DORÉ
We extended our legs and rested them on the coffee table in
front. We had put off getting physical long enough. We
both wanted it very much to soothe our shaken emotional
and physical condition. Neither of us wanted to resist it any
more. It was not sexual per se but a feeling of intimacy and
coziness that we sought so badly.
We ate a few slices and finished our drinks. I turned off the
TV and just sat like that for a while. In a few minutes, I
could see that she had fallen asleep in my arms, like a baby.
I lifted her and put her in her bed. Tucked her nicely in her
sheets and turned off the lights.
I was sleeping in my bed soundly by 9:00PM.
70
CHAPTER 7
Early in the morning I felt that she had quietly slipped into
my sheets. I turned and put my arms around her. We kissed
most passionately for several moments. Then she whispered
into my ears, “I know what you want. I want the same too.
But please be patient with me. Let us take it slowly, very
slowly.” We lay cuddling under the sheets like that for quite
a while. We wanted our feelings to take over and do
whatever came naturally to us. Our reservations and
inhibitions were slowly breaking down. Our feelings were
thawing. But we did not want to hurry such a surreal and
ethereal gliding into the sublime. We wanted to savor it
ever so slowly.
I wanted her to stay on and asked how long more could she
stay. She wanted to go to New Jersey, take care of her
71
RAJ DORÉ
affairs and return in a day. That made sense. I told her, I had
to get ready and go to work that day, especially due to the
important meeting in the morning. We decided that I would
take her to the airport on my way to work. She was going to
call her aunt, make sure they would be there to receive her.
On the way to the airport I told her of our Office Outing
that was planned for the coming Saturday. It was going to
be a Charity Golf Tournament followed by a poolside
barbecue party. I asked her if she would be able to join me.
She gleefully said that should be great fun, but how was I
going to explain her to my colleagues?
“They have not met Seema and I could always say you are
my ‘cousin’ from back home, if they do insist on knowing”,
I replied. She laughed.
The following day there was a letter from Seema. She had
written it from Seatle. Her folks were pressuring her. They
were insisting that we move to Seattle and live with them. If
that were not acceptable to me, she would have to seek
Separation from the Court. She needed my decision as soon
as possible. I was outraged. In all this, Seema herself had no
brains or guts to take a stand. I knew this coming. But I was
not quite sure, it was going to be so soon and in this
manner.
I sat down and tried to gain my composure. I had to think of
Munni as well. Then I wrote to her a response saying that I
could not just throw everything over-board and come over
to Seattle. I still had my current contract that I had to fulfill.
Besides I needed to find a job in Seattle first, before quitting
72
TANDOORI TEXAN TALES
what I had worked on all my life. So we have to take this
slowly. If and when I do find a job in Seattle, I would not
mind moving. But for the present, we have to continue like
it is now. After printing the letter from the word processor, I
kept one copy and stuffed another one into an envelope to
mail.
I was quite sure all this reasoning would not get into their
hot heads. They were quite sure the whole Universe had to
revolve around their ill-gotten wealth.
I left work early on Friday and was at the receiving lounge
when the flight from New Jersey arrived. She was one of
the early ones to come out of the gangway. Quite
involuntarily we were in a very close embrace. Holding
hands, we walked up to the baggage area. She had come
with a sizable suitcase. Obviously now she was well
equipped in all areas.
It was still quite early in the evening, I suggested that we
stop by at my usual Grocery store on the way and finish our
weekly grocery. After all she wanted to spend time like any
other ordinary person, did she not? She needs to know how
grocery, laundry and other day to day chores are done in
this American Life.
She was very enthusiastic as we were pushing the grocery
cart down the aisles. There were several other customers
that had their stares fixed on her face, exchanging
pleasantries as we passed them. None of them had the
foggiest idea, who she was. They were just captivated by
her most beautiful looks.
73
RAJ DORÉ
We were stopping at various shelves, as I was trying to
explain to her different items and how they could be used.
She had been familiar with many of the things from her
previous visits to the U.S., but never had to do these things
all on her own. We almost had quite a good idea of what we
are going to be having for breakfast, lunch and dinner for
the whole of the coming week. As we passed by, we also
briefly stopped at one shelf and flipped a carton of
prophylactics into the cart.
We pulled into the carport of my apartment-complex close
to the entrance of my apartment. I opened the trunk of the
car and started rolling her suitcase toward my apartment. I
let her enter first. She had brought a bottle of wine in a gift
bag that she laid on the dining table. As I closed the door
behind after getting in, I asked her if she was thirsty and
needed anything to drink.
She threw her shoes and other things off one by one. Then
clung to me close and said, ‘Right now I am all thirsty for
you and you alone’.
We rolled over into my bed and covered ourselves with
sheets and only the sheets. I have never made love like that
even in my imagination. I could not just believe I was really
doing all this in reality.
After a while, we needed something to eat for dinner. While
all those things we had bought were still in the fridge,
neither of us had the patience to even microwave a frozen
74
TANDOORI TEXAN TALES
dinner. Besides we wanted to do something out of the
o
rdinary.
I suggested Chinese. She agreed saying ‘Fantastic!’ We
called a neighborhood restaurant and ordered for pick up
within 15 minutes. But of course, we could not go out like
the way we were! We wrapped ourselves into just our
raincoats and got into the car. The packages were ready at
the pick-up drive-in window.
We made some more love and fell asleep in each other’s
arms. Every so often during the night, I felt her cheek
buried on my chest.
As I was still pondering whether or not to get up from bed,
next morning, I could get an aroma of fresh brewed coffee.
She had got up much earlier and even gone for a jog. She
had her white golf shirt, shorts, and sweatband on the
forehead and tennis shoes on. There were small drops of
sweat running down her eye-browse on to her cheeks. She
was gulping a glass of orange juice. A picture of a perfect
health-nut.
We were due at the Golf tournament at 10 O’ clock. That
gave us a good couple of hours to breakfast and get ready. I
popped a few toasts in the toaster. What she attempted as an
omelet ended up being fairly well made pairs of scrambled
eggs. It tasted good, who cared about the shape? They all
end up looking the same after you have swallowed them,
don’t they?
75
RAJ DORÉ
This whole thing was just too good to be true. Only one
question kept coming to my mind.
Why me? She must be having any number of men that
would do anything to have a time like this with her. This
includes men in the U.S., much better off than me. Beauty
Queens, Models and Movie Stars have moved from
Bollywood to these shores hitched to some very wealthy
NRIs, haven’t they? By American standards I am not even
in the same league as those. Then, why me? What happens
next? She will just disappear from my life like it never
happened.
I mustered enough courage to ask her this, as we were
racing down the Riverside Drive toward the Raleigh
Country Club. The flora in the whereabouts of Raleigh is
most fascinating. There are thick pine forests and you
cannot see more than 10 feet away on the sides of the road.
The two-lane highway winds around on hilly terrain and
even in the early part of the day it is quite dark due to thick
foliage. It gives very cozy and sometimes even eerie
feelings.
She started responding to me slowly.
“Yes you are right about other men wanting a piece of my
life. But it is one thing to be considered as yet another
‘Trophy’ and quite another to be treated with sincerity,
dignity and self-respect as a person.
“As a matter of fact in many ways the NRIs in this country
are even worse than the fellows back home. There are
76
TANDOORI TEXAN TALES
plenty of these nouveau riche. All they have is money, no
culture, good taste, education or upbringing.
“Or else there are those Ivy League types that are full of
rotten attitude and arrogance.
“All these guys get treated shabbily by the local Anglos and
that gets reflected on their behavior toward their brethren
from back home. Since they cannot take it out on anybody
else they do it toward their ‘Country Cousins’ coming from
there. It is not very often that I find someone with kindness,
sincerity and honesty like you.
“I am sick and tired of all that meaningless chatter from
very shallow fools, whose only brains are hanging between
their legs.
“It is not easy being a good actress. Day in and day out, I
have to live every possible human emotion like pain, joy,
love and shock. For every scene of death I have to really
feel like what would it be to die. Most people die only once.
I have to do that several times over. I have to feel and live
every role that I have to play. On top of all this I have to
suffer phony characters all around me in a world of
illusions.
“It is so refreshing for me to come out of that transparent
bubble and breathe fresh air.
“I come from a very ordinary close knit family. All this
glitter and glamour feels good for some time. But
afterwards, it starts choking me. I like to come back and
77
RAJ DORÉ
find my original little girl from a middle class family. If I
clamor for a little bit of real love and honest understanding,
is it too much I am asking?
“I realize this may or may not last for ever. But then it is not
every day that I have a close shave with death and total
indignity. I want to enjoy every bit of what I have now and
stop worrying about tomorrow.
“I have asked my folks in Bombay to let me alone for
another 10 days. They only have my aunt’s contact, if they
wish to get in touch with me. I will be contacting her once
in a while to see how things are.
“I know what you are thinking. I am not here with you out
of just gratefulness. I really and truly love being with you,
every moment of it. I will probably cherish it all my life.
“You are married with a child. I do not wish to break up
your marriage or jeopardize your family. As a matter of fact
I would do all I can to help you as a friend. I am willing to
accept you just as you are without making any demands.
Can you not give me some small space in your life?”
I listened to her quietly, without interrupting. She made a
lot of sense. I was amazed at her intelligence, honesty and
perspicacity. She was not just a Barbie Doll. I needed some
time to digest all what she said and work on a reaction. I
changed the subject to something more mundane.
“Will you please pull my briefcase from the back seat? I
have an extra pair of keys to the apartment, that I would like
78
TANDOORI TEXAN TALES
for you to have. Also one more thing, please do not pick up
the phone when it rings. Let it go to the answering machine,
all the time. You can of course use the phone for making
outgoing calls. I am not sure if you like to stay in touch with
outside world on Email. If you do, you can also use the PC
in my bedroom, any time you feel like.” I told her.
“I quite see your point. Thanks for being so understanding”.
On my part, it sizably bolstered my ego, individuality and
self-perspective. My self-respect had been mauled and
marauded by Seema and her family in the past few years.
We parked at the Country Club parking lot and walked into
the Club-House. Don Wilsner and his wife Pat were already
there. After some speech making we started on an 18-hole
Golfing spree. We two started off in one cart following Don
and Pat in another. We four were one team.
None of us was very good at golfing but the whole
environment was just blissful. The whole se
tting was most
picturesque. The Greens were like carpets laid all around.
The different colors of foliage and small lakes made it look
like a picture post-card. With cool breeze blowing on our
faces and such a most beautiful woman on my side, would
Heavens be any different?
More than me I could see a total change in her demeanor. It
was as if she had suddenly turned into a teen-age schoolgirl.
She was laughing and giggling all the time, even at my Poor
Jokes. We had some fruit punch and snacks to nibble along
on the cart.
79
RAJ DORÉ
We finished the golfing game by about 1:30PM and
gathered for some barbecue and beer around the swimming
pool. We were invited to get into the water, but we had not
brought our swimming attire. She was getting some
firsthand experience of Country Music once again. Some of
them were dancing on the floor, as we were sucking on
some chicken legs smeared with barbecue sauce.
When lunch got over, we walked down to a lonely spot in
the garden and spread a large bed sheet that we had brought.
The weather was balmy with clear blue skies. We lay under
the tree holding hands as cool breeze was brushing past our
faces. After about half an hour, we heard our names being
called for a tug-of-war competition between two teams. She
was holding on to me tight by the waist as I was pulling on
the rope.
As we finally bid good byes and got into our cars, it was a
little before sunset. We were somewhat exhausted and
swarthy with sweat and grime of having stayed outdoors all
day. I asked her if she would like to get into the swimming