Read Tandoori Texan Tales Page 9


  But such questions don’t occur to me any more. 23 years

  have taken their toll on softening my attitude.

  I had some adjusting to do before I got used to the

  American way of calling people. In the British way that we

  are taught in India, everybody is either your superior or

  inferior so need to be called by Surname with a Mr. or Mrs.

  or Miss as a prefix.

  Here everybody is called by his or her first name by default

  preferably by the nickname. Even your boss will call you by

  your nickname, put his arm around your shoulders with a

  grin, before firing you and saying ‘it is nothing personal,

  just a downsizing in our effort to please the Wall Street’. He

  may even ask you for some leads for his own job hunting

  efforts if I had found one for myself.

  That was a far cry from the Gestapo techniques of German

  companies I had worked for before coming here.

  It also took me some time to get used to the etiquette, lingo,

  spellings, pronunciations and expressions. I had to unlearn

  quite a bit of my Indo-British ways and relearn the new

  way, consciously or sub-consciously. It is quite possible I

  might have fallen somewhere in between making this

  Trapeze jump.

  Take for example those words that have special

  connotations, American style. A ‘guy’ does not necessarily

  mean a male homo-sapien. It could be female or even a

  material or abstract entity. Then ‘bitching’ does not mean a

  female canine that trades carnal pleasure for monetary gain.

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  It is a behavior that is preponderantly stubborn,

  unreasonable, bad tempered and nasty as displayed by any

  person of either gender or a thing.

  I wondered why do I have to smile and say hello (preferably

  by name) whenever I cross somebody on the street or

  hallways even when I don’t know that person from Adam?

  Now that comes to me quite involuntarily.

  Then there are of course the unmentionable bathroom

  manners of using toilet bowl and toilet paper! The light

  switches work differently here. You push them up instead

  of down when you want to turn anything on. The traffic

  moves on the ‘wrong’ side of the road. People still measure

  in miles, pounds and Fahrenheit. These are of course minor

  trivialities.

  I still don’t feel quite comfortable wearing baseball cap in

  reverse gear or sneakers with my trousers.

  When I watched the American Football, I had a hard time

  figuring out why in the heck so many fellows were fighting

  with each other at different parts of the field when the ball

  was at quite a different spot altogether? It takes a winning

  home team to turn you into a fan of the game. I am now a

  fan of the Dallas Cowboys, even though they have not done

  much of winning in the last couple of Seasons. The Stars

  and the Mavericks follow closely.

  My first job was as an Encyclopedia Salesman at a cold and

  dry West Texas little town called Odessa. I was walking

  down a neighborhood with my African-American (you are

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  not supposed to say ‘Black’), boss. A cop pulled us up and

  asked for our IDs.

  I found that quite unpalatable in the “Land of the Free”!

  The ID had to be something credible like a Driver’s

  License.

  Later my partner explained to me that it was a kind of

  ‘crime prevention’ effort! People in that neighborhood did

  not want some bums loitering without purpose.

  I quickly learnt that to be counted as a person, you had to

  have a Driver’s License—even if you do not drive a car.

  That job did not last very long since they wanted me to

  sustain myself on a commission and not a fixed salary. The

  next 18 months were like doing hard labor at a prison camp.

  I worked in a sweatshop at a wage of $1.10/hr. I could not

  be paid less since that was the minimum wage by law. Only

  two persons in that place spoke English and were legally

  allowed to work in the country, one was I and the other was

  the President of the company. I picked up a few sentences

  of Spanish from my ‘undocumented’ Mexican co-workers.

  One of which is ‘Mucho travacho, pokito Dinero’ meaning,

  ‘too much work but too little money’.

  When they found out that I could read, write and count 10,

  they gave me the responsibility of Inventorying meat

  packages. At the end of the day when the stocks did not

  tally, my Supervisor told the President that I did not know

  how to count, while in actuality it was he that was stealing

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  the stuff, giving to the women working for him in exchange

  of ‘special favors’.

  Whenever I asked my Supervisor for a raise, he would give

  me more hours of work at the same rate per hour. I was still

  able to balance my monthly budget and save $700 to buy a

  10-year old Toyota Corolla, which had some 100,000 miles

  on its odometer. All cash down. I had no idea why would

  people want to borrow money or have things called ‘credit

  cards’. I had been brought up with the credo that if I had the

  money; I could buy, if not go without it. I asked my

  neighbor to drive me to the Drivers License Department

  before I could take a Drivers test. I paid 45 cents per gallon

  of gas.

  Only in August 1979 I found a desk job and I moved to

  Dallas. I drove some 350 miles of dusty Texas road in my

  Toyota without A/C; windows rolled down and wind

  blowing through my hair, one Saturday afternoon for the

  job interview. Raj Kapoor could not have done it better on a

  camel back, singing “Mera Joota Hai Japani…”. I had all

  my Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees besides testimonials

  from 15 years of career, tucked under my armpit. My

  prospective employer asked me just one question. ‘Do you

  know how to type?’ I said ‘Yes’. I got hired.

  Dallas had one Indian restaurant. After finding about it in

  the Sunday newspaper, I drove several miles to hunt it out.

  They would serve Masala Dosa every Sunday morning. In

  all there were about a 1000 Indian families in a radius of

  about 50 miles. Once in a while there would be some

  performance of an Indian artist on a tour of the country. But

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  Dallas was always an ‘also ran’ town where they would

  come only on a mid-week evening, on their way to some

  other Big City that got the ‘prime-time of the week’ spots

  like Saturday evenings.

  As I would drive on LBJ Freeway, I would wonder why in

  the heck they would want to have 3 lanes on both sides

  when there were hardly a handful of cars driving in either

  direction.

  It is amazing how things have changed now. Indian

  restaurants and grocery stores are mushrooming all over

  tow
n. We have an ‘Udipi Café’ and a couple of restaurants

  serving authentic South Indian Shappadu, on plantain leaf.

  Being a center for Electronics and Software Industry

  besides having several schools and universities, you cannot

  pass a day without bumping into some Indian anywhere you

  go.

  We have a movie theatre that just shows Indian movies on 5

  screens everyday—in Hindi and regional languages as well.

  No month passes without any of this bigwig Show-people

  showing up with a blockbuster ‘Live-in-concerts’.

  Aishwarya Rai, Shahrukh Khan, Karishma Kapoor, Aamir

  Khan, Akshay Khanna, Shushmita Sen, you name it. They

  have all been in Dallas within the last one-year. These

  events get so crowded and expensive, it is much better to

  stay home and watch them on TV. That is back to Square

  One.

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  Like any normal Indian boy, I grew up developing a passion

  for cricket. Even as a pre-teenager, I used to bowl and bat

  on the dusty street in front of our house. When we could not

  get a real cricket ball, my friends and I used to play with

  tennis ball and any wooden stick for a bat. As I went to

  College I almost made it to my college team as an opening

  batsman and off-spin bowler. Some months ago here, my

  Pakistani neighbor who was another cricket maniac and I

  got into an argument with an American about the merits and

  demerits of cricket versus baseball. As you can imagine that

  was not a debate any one could go home with a win-win

  situation.

  I used to miss cricket so very much after coming here. But

  only cricket I could get was the one chirping in my

  fireplace!

  I have now 5 channels of Indian programming on my TV

  via satellite dish. Ajay Jadeja has been hosting a program

  called ‘Cricketer of the Millennium’ which I have been

  following keenly. He narrates and shows clips of some very

  fascinating personalities and events that I remember so well

  from past, when I used to follow the game with ears glued

  to the radio. CKNaidu, the 3 Vijays - Merchant, Hazare &

  Manjrekar. How can I forget that rainy English summer

  when Vinoo Mankad retrieved some of Indian pride at the

  Lord’s in 1952 after Alec Bedser and Freddie Truman gave

  the purge of 0 for 4 wickets at the Leeds? Or Eknath Solkar

  making that magnificent catch to get Wadekar and his team

  a victory at the Oval in 1970. Of course that new found

  ‘Wunderkind’ Gavaskar on the Caribbean tour of 1971.

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  We now have at least 5 different teams playing cricket in

  the Dallas/Fort Worth area.

  When you slice the trunk of an old tree across, you will see

  different layers of fringes of its bark, from its different

  stages of growth, the innermost being the oldest from its

  stage as a sapling. Human personality is very similar to that.

  Layers of different influences keep piling up on one’s

  psyche. I spent first 37 years of my life in India, in its

  different parts, that have had their influences on my

  personality. The next 23 years in the U.S. have their

  experiences overlaying that. But the influences at childhood

  and formative years are so much more powerful—one year

  of the childhood is not same as one year of adulthood.

  How much Indian and how much ‘American’ am I? I don’t

  know.

  I can still wear a dhoti, sit on the floor and swipe Rasamshadam

  running all over the plantain leaf. Then I also enjoy

  a cold mug of beer and a well-broiled Texas steak. I am still

  a Hindu and have delved quite deep into its beliefs, history,

  philosophy and theology. I understand the sentiments of

  performing Shraddham or Sandhyavandanam. But if I had

  not worked in a beef-packing factory, I would have starved

  to death. Wouldn’t my forefather Aryans that wandered the

  slopes of Himalayas chanting Rigveda, agree? They were

  hunting and gathering for surviving, is it not?

  Not everybody has same experiences or has to make same

  choices. Life is one long road strewn with conflicts to be

  resolved and compromises to be made. When I visit India I

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  find many Indians trying to be more Americanized then I

  and be proud of it, while I try to be my original Indian self,

  expecting them to treat me as such.

  I come across numerous Indians here that try to insulate

  themselves into their own little cocoons trying to prevent

  outside winds of change blowing into their faces. Sooner or

  later one has to make a choice—how much blending of 2

  cultures is palatable? Even when we were growing up in

  northern or western parts of India, we were trying to

  preserve our Tamilian traditions as we knew it at home,

  while the Tamilian culture in the South was getting evolved

  differently.

  I was in Thailand some time ago. They took me about a 100

  miles from Bangkok to show their old capital city. It is

  called ‘Ayuthiya’ built by King Rama the IIIrd in the 18th

  Century AD. I wondered if BJP should not build Babri

  Masjid here and make everybody happy.

  There are people of Indian origin in Fiji, Guyana, Bali and

  several other places where they practice Hinduism as they

  brought and transplanted a few centuries ago. In many

  ways, their brand of Hinduism is more authentic than one in

  their homeland today. But then, the Good Lord had not yet

  created MTV and Internet at that time.

  Today Dallas/Fort Worth Metropolitan Complex

  (Metroplex for short) has grown far beyond I could have

  imagined when I first came here. LBJ Freeway is so

  congested at peak time that bumper to bumper traffic

  extends as far as eye could see. This gargantuan Leviathan

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  is gobbling all neighboring little towns up into satellite

  suburbs.

  When I went for the interview to get the U.S. Citizenship, I

  was tested whether I had workable knowledge of English

  and Civics. The English part was easy enough. Then when

  the interviewer asked me questions on Civics it was

  interesting.

  By the way, I have a Master’s degree in Political Science

  from India. I had to study the Indian Constitution and its

  history in great details. I also had to study 5 other major

  political systems of the world namely British, American,

  Swiss, Soviet, Chinese and French. The Indian constitution

  itself is based on the British Parliamentary system and the

  American Federal system. Therefore I was very complacent

  and confident of facing the Civics questions of the

  interview.

  First she asked me to name the 2 Senators from Texas. I

  could muster the name of only one. She grinned and said

  that was fair enough.

  Then she asked me what were the first 10 am
endments to

  the American Constitution called. I pondered for a while

  and said, ‘I guess they are called the First Ten

  Amendments’. Eureka, how could I go wrong on that?

  She laughed and said, ‘Smart, but there is a special name

  for that, what is it? Do you know?’

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  I was bowled over. I had not got the foggiest idea. I pleaded

  ignorance.

  She laughed again and said, ‘Shame on you. That is called

  the ‘Bill of Rights’”.

  I was thinking in terms of the Indian Constitution. ‘Bill of

  Rights’ is known in the Indian Constitution as the

  ‘Fundamental Rights’. That is the very first provision of the

  constitution.

  “How could that be called an amendment? If that itself was

  an amendment what would be the constitution prior that?” I

  asked her.

  She laughed again and said she did not have the foggiest

  idea. She passed me on the test anyway.

  On the day I was sworn in as a U.S. citizen, I had mixed

  feelings. At the pit of my stomach I somehow felt I was

  betraying my country of birth. I am sure I was not the only

  person in that large hall feeling that way. There was this

  lady from the Immigration Service who gave us a very nice

  and soothing speech before we took our oaths. It may sound

  like a cliché but true. She said we should not think like we

  are losing a country but as gaining one.

  The U.S. allows dual citizenship. According to the U.S.

  Laws, once having acquired U.S. citizenship you may not

  regain it if you decide to renounce it.

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  At that time India did not allow dual citizenship. Lately

  there has been a lot of talk of India allowing dual