Chapter 9
Just as Emily’s pa had predicted, the sheriff searched the place and found their still. They had been sharecropping, but in order to get extra cash, they had been making moonshine since they had settled on the property, a highly illegal activity since the recently passed legislation requiring all distillers to pay tax on their product. If they had been caught, they would have stood trial, been found guilty, and become part of the convict lease program within the year. As it stood, the only evidence of the shooting was missing, a young boy was dead, and all witnesses had fled the scene. There was nothing more that could be done.
Will and Suellen had been summoned, and after the long day of questioning, they escorted Wade back to Tara, arms entwined, supporting Wade as he walked weakly. Even without the help of his mother, his life had been destroyed in one fell swoop, and it took every minute piece of energy just to keep himself upright, as the weight of his heartache weighed on his chest like a giant monster waiting to consume him. Every step felt as if he were toting pounds of bricks; his legs were heavy as if bound by the imaginary chains that should have bound him for his part in the man’s death. They continued to hold him up, taking him upstairs, and laying him on his bed, where he rolled over to face the wall, unwilling to talk and unwilling to receive comfort.
For the next three days, he lay there, declining food that was brought to him, and refusing to talk. He lay there, as the realism of his mortality washed through his mind. Unmoving, he lay there on the cold, hard mattress, at first, wallowing in guilt, feeling the weight of chains that bind a person’s soul when under conviction. If a person looked very closely, they could see his lips moving slightly, mouthing words of prayer, beseeching forgiveness, mercy, and strength. Once he had searched his heart, he knew he had done the right thing, and now, he had to make things right. It would take every bit of his strength both in his mind and body, and he was not willing to relinquish any power by allowing someone else to tarnish his thoughts, guide his path, or change his mind. Emily counted on him, and he would not let her down.
Wade turned to face the window, watching the sun slowly climb, sending rays of sunlight to warm his face. This day would mark the day of courage, the day he had made a decision to face adversity and become Emily’s hero. Will had told him that he could choose his own destiny, and he knew in his heart, that he was destined for happiness, and even Mammy had relayed her vision for his bright future. Now was the time to make a difference in his life, go against the tide that had carried him for so long. He rose from his bed, dressed quickly, and went downstairs to eat breakfast.
Suellen eyed him strangely, unable to comprehend his sudden recuperation. She knew that down deep, he had inherited his mother’s fortitude, but this did not look like Scarlett’s look of hardened determination, but more like satisfaction and peace. After three days of going into his room, checking on him, and trying to coerce him to eat something, he suddenly emerged, refreshed and strengthened. He looked as though he had grown even taller as he straightened his broad shoulders, and walked with a confident stride that she had seen before. It was the stride of stubborn confidence, the stride of a person who knows his lot in life and is ready to make it happen.
After breakfast, Wade rode to Mimosa to visit Sally Fontaine. As he rode past the little shanty where Emily had spent the last few years of her life, he refrained from thinking of anything unpleasant, refuting lifeless thoughts that tried to pry their way into his mind, and spying the fresh dirt thrown on top of the grave, he trod on, focusing on the future, denying the spirits of the past access into his present.
Sally saw him riding up, and walked out to meet him. Strapped to her back was her new, tiny baby, and through her smiling face, he could see the exhaustion of sleepless nights, and hardworking days. I had been even more difficult for her to maintain her home without Emily’s help, and the strain was beginning to show in the lines on her face and the lone strands of silver that began to peek through her lovely brown hair.
“Wade, it is so nice to see you. How are you doing?” Sally tried to cover her exhaustion as well as the fear that Wade would revert to his childhood means of coping with tragedy, and she searched his face for signs weakness, pallid frailty, or hiccups, but she sensed none of that.
They made small talk for a few moments, but Wade could not put off the immediate subject on his mind any longer. “Sally, do you know where they have gone?”
Sally thought for a moment, staring into her cup of coffee, then rose to pour him another cup. “Why do you need to know that? I think it would be better for you and her if you just let her go.”
“I can’t do that. Chivalry has overtaken me, and I am its slave, or hers, whichever you prefer.” He smiled impishly, hoping to avoid her questions, distracting her with his charm.
Sally could not be distracted, for she knew. She had watched the two of them for months, and she knew how they felt about each other, but she also knew her family, and the intense hold that held her. She lowered her head over her cup, tracing her fingers around the rim, “She will never be free. You know that.”
“I will free her. Did you not see the whelps on her back? As I have looked over the evidence of the years, I am ashamed that I had no idea; I never paid attention to the clues standing before me. She should not have had to tell me, but if I had been paying attention to anybody other than myself and my own self-pity, I would have seen, and I could have saved her years of pain and misery. I cannot go back and reclaim her past, but I can claim her future, just as I have claimed my own.” Wade glared at Sally, without malice, but with force, demanding her comprehension.
Sally looked in his eyes for some hint of fear, some link that she could pull in order to change his mind, but instead, what she found frightened her more. She saw Scarlett’s look of determination, the look of a person driven to accomplish the task at hand, inconsiderate of the consequences, knowing the end justifies the means.
Sally reached into her pocket and pulled out a yellow piece of paper. “This came earlier this morning.” She handed the paper to him then waited quietly for him to read it.
GOING TO TEXAS STOP HELP ME STOP
Now there was no way that she could convince him to leave it alone. The words in the telegram pulled at his heart, and he began making mental notes of everything Tony Fontaine, Sally’s brother-in-law, had said about Texas and how to get there. He had to leave immediately, and maybe he could catch her before they even left the state. He rose, taking Sally’s hand, and bringing it near his lips. Though he could not as a gentleman, place his lips on her hand, he could relay his thankfulness, showing his appreciation for her help. Without thinking, she embraced him quickly, feeling as if she was losing her own son, the son of a dear friend, and she said a prayer under her breath. She knew that he had no idea of the perils he would face or the predicament that he was leaving Will and Suellen, but she did know that every man must do what they have to do. She had seen the devastation of men who followed their fear rather than their heart and the emotional and spiritual death that followed soon after. Even after he left her, she spent time each evening praying for his and Emily’s safety, praying that they would return soon to begin the lives that they dreamed of, a life of peaceful devotion to God, their family, and their land.
Wade rode home quickly, formulating plans, avoiding mental pitfalls. The hardest part would be getting away from the house. From there, he was sure that he could accomplish his mission with ease, but he had to tackle Will and Suellen, face them just as he had faced Sally, assuring his independence. He raced upstairs and packed a light bag of clothes, donned his holster, boots and hat then went back down and strapped his things onto Silver as Will walked around the corner of the house.
“Where are you headed, son?”
Wade finished getting his things on then faced Will confidently, and spoke with all the determination he could muster, “I am going to Texas. Emily’s pa has taken her there, and I have to go get her and bring her back.”
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“I see. Have you told Suellen what you are planning?”
“No, not yet. I figure she won’t exactly approve, and maybe she would be more apt to listen to you.”
Will shrugged slightly, “I don’t rightly think it’s my place to talk to her. This is a mighty risky thing you are planning, and if you don’t have the courage to talk to Suellen, you don’t have the courage it takes to get to Texas.”
Wade hung his head for a second, the squared his shoulders, turned and walked into the house. He found Suellen in the kitchen. He pulled her to the table, sat her down, and told her exactly what he was planning. Suellen took a deep breath then began shaking; she could not bear to lose this boy. He had been her son since she could not have one of her own, and she would not allow him to do such an irresponsible thing, facing a man who had lost his son, the turmoils of unbroken land, and the lawless society that filled the tales of the west. She would not allow it. As she raged, Wade sat calmly watching her, willing her to calm down, and then she noticed the look of peace on his face. He had become a man, and he knew what he had to do, and she knew at that moment that there was no use fighting a man with the determination and strength of his mother. As she looked at him again, she saw the light in his eyes that reminded her of Scarlett when she had concocted a new plan of action, and the line of his jaw which squared in obstinacy just like her father’s. She knew his Irish heritage which would stand in the face of difficulty, thrust its chest at the onslaught of danger, and laugh in the light of misfortune. She raised her hands to his face, tears streaming down her face, and pleaded once more for him to reconsider, but he would not resign. That night and every night afterward, she would remember to mention his name in her prayers, lighting an extra candle for his safety
He said his goodbyes to the tear-stained faces of his sister and little cousins, kissing their cheeks, and reassuring them that he would be fine, and they stared after him until the dust rose and he disappeared from sight. He headed down the road to Jonesboro then straight to Atlanta. It had been years since he had traveled this road, but he still knew every curve, as memories from the flight from Atlanta flooded his mind. During his younger years, he had traveled this road often, and as he grew closer to Atlanta, he had to battle the fear that tried to force itself into his mind. Blackness fell over his heart momentarily as he remembered the graves of his little sister and his beloved Aunt Melanie so near, but he shoved them to the back of his mind, refusing to be sidetracked by grief.
He finally reached Uncle Ashley’s house late that evening, and he found him and his cousin, Beau, playing ball in the backyard. He was overcome with excitement to see his cousin, again, and was amazed to see how much he had changed over the last four years. He had grown tall and lean, with a pleasant face and a booming voice. They greeted him with enthusiasm, amazed at the changes that had taken place in each of them. Ashley had rebounded from the death of his wife, and although in the deepest parts of his heart, he stilled grieved daily, he was full of mirth and he stood with a new dignity, taking care of his son, doing his best to live up to the man Melanie had expected him to be. Though Wade had been apprehensive about returning to Atlanta, he joined them for supper, and was delighted with the light conversation, peaceful surroundings, and delicious food, and he wished he could stay for a few weeks, enjoying the life which seemed unworrisome. He knew though, that he could not stay, and after supper he asked Ashley to accompany him to the library where they could talk in privacy.
Wade told Ashley everything that had transpired over the last few years, ending with Emily’s flight and his plan to save her. Ashley rubbed his chin, silently, trying to decide how to respond. He knew that Scarlett had taken care of him and Beau many times in the past, and he knew that he would take care of Wade, but he was not sure of how to best help him. Wade looked like a man and had grown to be an assuming force, but he was unsure that he was taking the best course of action. He thought of how determined Scarlett had been with faced with difficulties, willing to do the unthinkable to keep food on the table and the taxes on Tara paid. He knew Wade had inherited the same qualities that possessed and drove his mother. He had made mistakes before, underestimating the gumption which drove Scarlett to unthinkable solutions, and he did not want to repeat those mistakes with her son. If there was any way that he could save Wade from the destruction which so often followed Scarlett because of her actions, he would do it.
“So your mother doesn’t know anything about this?” Ashley got up and grabbed the decanter to pour himself a drink of sherry, then offered one to Wade.
Wade took hold of the glass, answering him, slowly, “No, she has no idea that Emily even exists. I think we both know that she would not approve of her breeding, and she would never allow such a match.”
Ashley nodded his head and took a seat, choosing his words carefully. “You think that her biases are unfounded?”
“Uncle Ashley, I would think that you have grown out of the thoughts of the old days. Things have changed, eyes have been opened, and biases are unfounded. A person’s heart is not damaged by the lack of family name, nor is it made chivalrous by one. My own mother is proof of that.”
“You must not say such things about your mother. She may not have paved your way, but she is your mother, and you owe her respect. But let’s not dispute that point.” Ashley set his glass on the table, leaned forward, and rubbed his hands over his face, considering his next move. He envisioned a chess game, knowing that if he made the wrong move, his argument would be cut off, and he would lose this game. “So how can I help you?”
“Well, sir, I need some money. I will pay you back when I return by working in your mills or whatever else I can do. Or if need be, you can contact my mother or Rhett, and they will give you the money back.”
“What if you don’t come back? What if something bad happens along the way, or what if you fall in love with Texas and decide to make it your home? Then it would be lost.” Ashley eyed him as he spoke cautiously hoping that the old fear would drain Wade’s face, talking him out of this crazy endeavor.
“I have no desire to leave Tara, only to retrieve my love.” As soon as those words were spoken, Ashley knew the game had turned, check, the queen was in sight. Ashley remembered his love for Melanie, and knew that he would cross the ocean in a sailboat if it would bring her back, and he felt a bond with this young man, and bond that only those who have experienced unrequited love could know.
“It seems as if I cannot sway you, and I cannot in good conscience send you out into the world with no funding, but I do not want repayment.”
Wade looked at him conspicuously. In this situation, he realized that Ashley had the upper hand, and he could make requests far beyond what he had imagined. How far would he be willing to go?
“Your mother has often spoken of her desire for you to attend the university. I understand that you will miss some time from public school, and there’s nothing to worry about there. You are a smart boy. By the time you get back, Beau will be making plans to go.” Ashley took a deep breath, carefully approaching the subject so as not to scare Wade, “If you want the money you need, you will have to promise me that you will go to the university with Beau upon your return.”
Wade stood, walking slowly around the room as he considered the depth of this request. He had already decided that he did not want this path. He had planned his life which consisted of farming, marriage, and children at Tara. Not once had he reconsidered this decision since his conversation with Emily about the subject. Now, he faced the situation where he had no other choice. He considered his alternatives. He did have other relations in Atlanta, but he did not have the time or the resources to chase them down, and the thought of relaying the details to another person was unthinkable. He had to face the facts, and the fact was that he had to hurry, for he had already wasted enough time, and as he stood here debating this request, he was losing time, and there was no telling what kind of distance Emily and her family had made.
/> “I guess I don’t have any other choice. I will go to the university with Beau.”
“I have just a couple more questions for you. Do you have any idea how far Texas is? Do you know how long it will take, the hardships you will face? Do you know how big it is and how long it will take to find her? It will be like looking for a needle in a haystack?”
Wade sat down again, “She talked a time or two about her cousin. He lived on a cattle ranch along the Western Trail which leads from south Texas to Dodge City.” He took another drink then continued, “I am going to head west until I find the trail, then search. I know I can find her, and I am willing to risk everything to bring her back.”
Ashley looked on his determined face, knowing that he had done all he could to alter his plan. Finally, he stood, walking to a chest in the corner, and brought out several bills, handing them to Wade then taking in his other hand an object which he handled delicately. He held it up, inspecting it closely then handed it to Wade. “I noticed that one side of your holster was empty. This was your father’s pistol. Your Aunt Melanie held onto this pistol for years, cherishing it as if it were Charles himself. Although I don’t believe in these kinds of things, if Melanie held onto it, it must have something good which will help you. If nothing else, let it remind you of your father and his great courage, and may you face peril with his strength.”
Wade took the pistol in his hand, turning it over and over, seeing it for the first time. It was a beautiful piece of handiwork, with scrolls of decorative etching all over the silver handles. The barrel was long and sturdy, and the sights were perfectly straight. He was overcome with gratitude and pride. He stood, shaking Ashley’s hand heartily, bidding him good-bye, and though Ashley tried to persuade him to stay until morning, Wade insisted that he must keep going, now. He could not afford to lose another moment.
As he galloped out of town, Wade looked back longingly, smiling to himself, knowing that he had won yet another battle. He was sure that the worst was behind him for he had no idea what lie ahead.