Read Tara Road Page 48


  Danny learned that the children were going to stay with the Maines the following night. Ria must have realised that they needed to talk alone and she was packing them off there on a bus. He looked at her with admiration. She was handling it all so much better than he could ever have hoped. All he had to do now was to give her some realistic options about the very bleak financial future that lay ahead of them, something that wouldn't make her believe that her whole world was ending.

  'It's eleven o'clock for us but four a.m. for your dad, I think we should let him go to bed,' Ria said, and they all carried the dishes back down to the house.

  'Thank you for making it so easy, Ria,' he said as she showed him into the guest room.

  'It is easy,' she smiled. 'I've always been delighted to see you, so why not now and in this lovely place?'

  'It's worked well for you then?'

  'Oh very much so.' She kissed his cheek. 'See you in the morning,' she said and left. He was asleep in under a minute.

  Ria spent much of the night in her chair staring out into the garden. She saw a little chipmunk run across the grass. Amazing that she had never seen an animal like this before she came to America. There were squirrels in the trees, and Carlotta had a racoon which she was trying not to feed because you shouldn't encourage them, yet he had a lovely face. Brian was going to smuggle one home, he said, and start a chipmunk shop in Dublin.

  'You'd need two if you were going to breed them,' Annie had said. 'Even you should know that.'

  'I'm going to bring a pregnant one,' Brian said.

  Ria forced herself to think about things like this rather than about the man who was sleeping in the room next door. Several times during the evening she had had to shake herself to remember the events of the past few months. They had seemed such a normal happy family, the four of them. It was almost impossible to believe that he had left them.

  Surely he realised that it had all been a terrible mistake. That was the only reason he could be here. Ria wondered why he hadn't said it straight out. Asked her to forgive him and take him home. He had already thanked her for making things easy for him. She must continue in the same manner, rather than throw herself into his arms and tell him that nothing mattered any more. It was like some kind of game, you had to play it by the rules. Danny was coming back to her and this time she was going to keep him.

  Mona McCarthy listened to the story without interrupting. Her face was impassive as she heard the events unfolding.

  'Say something, Mona,' he said eventually.

  She shrugged her shoulders slightly. 'What is there to say, Barney? I'm sorry, that's all. You put so much into it I'm sorry that in the end you won't be able to sit back and enjoy it.'

  'I was never one for sitting back,' he said. 'You haven't asked how bad it is.'

  'You'll tell me.'

  'This house is in your name, that's one thing anyway.'

  'But we can't keep it surely?'

  'It's all we have, Mona.'

  'You're going to let all those people lose their jobs, all those suppliers go without payment and Ria Lynch lose her home and expect me to live in this mansion?'

  'That's not the way it is.'

  'What way is it then?' she asked.

  He couldn't answer. 'I'm sorry, Mona,' he said.

  'I don't mind being poor, we've been poor before, but I won't be dishonest.'

  'It's business. You don't understand, you're not a businesswoman.'

  'You'd be surprised,' said Mona. 'Very surprised.'

  Early next morning Ria took Danny a cup of coffee to his room.

  'We usually have a swim before breakfast, will you join us?'

  'I didn't bring any swimming trunks.'

  'Now that was bad, if you'd only made one of my lists…' she mocked herself. 'I’ll get you something from Dale's room.'

  'Dale?'

  'Their son.'

  'Will he mind?'

  'No, he's dead.' Ria went off and found him a pair of swimming shorts.

  'Dead?' Danny said.

  'Killed. That's why Marilyn wanted to get away from here.'

  'I thought her marriage broke up,' Danny said.

  'No, I think her marriage is fine actually.'

  'But isn't he in Hawaii? That doesn't look very fine to me.'

  'I think he's on the way to Ireland this weekend,' Ria said.

  'Can't you stay longer, Dad?' Brian asked.

  'No, I have to go on Monday night, but I have three full days here,' Danny said as they came down from the pool to the omelettes that Ria had made for breakfast.

  'What did you come for really?' Brian asked.

  'To see you all. I told you that.'

  'It's a long way,' Brian said thoughtfully.

  'True. But you're worth it.'

  'Mam said your visit had to do with your work.'

  'In a way yes.'

  'So when will you do it? The work part?'

  'Oh it will get done, don't worry.' Danny ruffled his son's hair affectionately.

  'Dad, what would you like me to be when I grow up?'

  'I don't mind. What would you like?'

  'I don't really know. Mam says I might be a journalist or a lawyer because I have an enquiring mind. Annie says I should be bouncer in a casino. Would you like me to be an auctioneer and work in your office with you?'

  'Not really, Brian. I think people should choose their own line of work, follow their own star.'

  'What did your parents want you to do?'

  'I think they hoped I'd marry a rich farmer's daughter and get my hands on some land.'

  'I'm glad you didn't. But suppose I did want to be an auctioneer I could, couldn't I? Then I could see you every day in the office, even if you didn't come home to live again.'

  'Sure, Brian, I'd love to see you every day, we'll work something out.’

  'And even when Bernadette's baby comes you'll still have time for us?' Brian's face was anxious.

  Danny couldn't find the words to speak. He gripped Brian's shoulder very hard. When he did speak his voice was choked. 'I’ll always have time for you and Annie, Brian, believe me. Always.'

  'I knew you would, I was just checking,' said Brian.

  They took Danny on a tour, pointing out all the sights of Westville and ending up at the burger bar beside the bus station where Annie and Brian were catching the bus to the Maines.

  Zach and Hubie turned up to say goodbye. 'It's going to be real dull with you gone,' Zach said.

  'It's going to be fairly dull with Kelly, she's a girl, you know,' Brian said. Zach nodded sympathetically.

  'If that guy Sean Maine puts a hand on you, I'll know and I'll be up there so quick…' Hubie said.

  'Will you stop talking about people putting hands on me? My parents are listening to you,’ hissed Annie.

  Danny and Ria got into the car and drove back to Tudor Drive.

  'You were right to bring them out here, it's a great holiday for them.'

  'Well, you paid their fares.' She was giving credit where it was due. In her list she had written down: Make it easy for him. Be cool and calm rather than eager. Don't let him think he is a villain. Don't gush. Don't say that you knew he'd come back. Make no plans for Bernadette's future, that's up to him. Ria smiled to herself. They might laugh at her lists, but they had their uses.

  'You're happy here?' Danny said.

  I'm fine,' she agreed.

  'What's that place over there?' He pointed to a cluster of trees in the distance.

  'That's Memorial Park, they keep it beautifully.'

  'Could we go and walk there, sit there for a bit?'

  'Sure, but would you not prefer to go home? The garden in Tudor Drive is as good as it gets.'

  'I'd prefer somewhere… I don't know… somewhere a bit separate from things.'

  'Right, Memorial Park it is. There's car parking around this way.'

  They walked together and looked at the names of the men from Westville who had died in the World Wars, in Korea
and Vietnam.

  'What a waste war is. Look, that boy was only four years older than Annie,' Ria said.

  'I know, he could have been one of those old men playing chess there instead of a name on a piece of stone,' Danny said.

  She longed to touch him but she remembered her advice to herself. They sat down on a wooden seat and he reached out to hold her hand in his.

  'You probably know what I have to say,' he said.

  She worried slightly, just a little. Surely he should say what he wanted to say not what he had to say. Still it was only words. 'Say it, Danny.'

  'I admire you so much, I really do… and I hate to have to tell you bad news. I can't tell you how much I hate it. The only one thing you'll have to give me some little credit for is that I came out to tell you myself.'

  She felt a big heavy stone suddenly develop below her throat, under the jaunty scarf that she had tied so cheerfully that morning.

  'So?' she said, not trusting herself to say anything more.

  'It's very bad, Ria.'

  'No, it can't be all that bad.' Ria realised that he was not coming back to her. This was not what this was all about. Her list hadn't been necessary at all. It didn't matter now whether she was calm or cool or gushy, he wasn't coming back.

  She heard herself speaking. 'Danny, I've already had the worst news, nothing will ever be as bad as that. There can't be anything else you have to tell me.'

  'There is,' he said.

  And on a wooden seat in Memorial Park, Westville, he told Ria that her home was gone. Part of the assets in the estate of Barney McCarthy, which would be put into the hands of the receiver very shortly.

  'There's a party tonight, we can go to it,' Sean Maine said the moment Annie arrived.

  'Do we have to take Brian and Kelly?’

  'No way. My mom got them a video to watch.' 'I don't have any party clothes,' Annie said sadly. 'You look just great.' The admiration in Sean's eyes was plain. Kitty wouldn't believe it. What a pity she wasn't here to watch this triumph! But of course Kitty would have the jeans off him by this stage, Annie thought disapprovingly. There would be none of that sort of thing as far as Annie was concerned; she must make that very clear from the start. Hubie had said it was totally unfair to look as good as she did and then not play. It was like putting delicious food on the table and then taking it away before people could eat it, he said. Really it was all very complicated.

  'All right, Hilary, what is it? What are you trying to tell me?'

  'And how did you know that I wanted to tell you anything, Mam?' Hilary asked.

  'You're like Pliers. He goes round in a circle when he's trying to let you know he wants to go for a walk, you're doing the same.'

  'Nothing's written in stone, Mam.'

  'Tell me.'

  'I mean if Ria were only here I'd sound her out before telling you anything at all…'

  'Do I have to beat it out of you, Hilary?'

  'Martin and I were wondering would you mind if we went to live in the country?'

  'The country?

  'I knew you'd mind. Martin said you wouldn't.'

  'Whereabouts in the country?' Nora Johnson was astounded.

  'Well, Martin's old home. You know, none of his brothers want to live there and the house is falling down and there's a teacher's job in the local school, and I'd be able to get a job there as well.'

  'You'd live in the west?' Nora Johnson as a Dubliner regarded the country as a place you went for holidays.

  'If you wouldn't be upset by it, Mam, yes we would.'

  'I wouldn't be upset by anything. But Hilary, child, in the name of God what would possess you to go over there?' She should have known.

  'It's going to be much cheaper, Mam. We've done our sums, the cost of living is much lower there, less petrol on commuting, and of course we'll get a little nest egg from selling our own house.'

  'And what will you do with the little nest egg?'

  'We'll just hold on to it, Mam, it would be a great comfort to us as we grow older.'

  Nora nodded her head. For Martin and Hilary it might be the only comfort. 'And what made you make up your mind?'

  'When we were there last I looked up and wasn't the place all surrounded by trees,' Hilary said. 'I knew then it was right for us.'

  'I suppose you have sex with the customers?' Jack roared at Gertie.

  'Ah, Jack, will you give over.' Gertie struggled to get herself free of his grip. 'What are you talking about?'

  'You're my woman and you're not going out like any old cheap tart just to have a tenner in your handbag.'

  'Let me go. You're hurting me, Jack, I beg you.'

  'Where do you do it? Up against the wall, is it?'

  'You know this is only madness.' She was terrified now; she hadn't seen him like this for a long time. She knew that Ria and the children were up visiting the Maines this weekend. What a different story Ria would tell. Suppose Sheila could see her now.

  'You knew I'd discover, didn't you?'

  'Jack, there's nothing to discover.'

  'Why did you send the kids to your mother's last night then? Answer me that.'

  'Because I could see you are a bit… under the weather. I didn't want anyone getting upset.'

  'You didn't want them hearing that their mother did it for a tenner with anyone who came in.' He hit her.

  'Jack.'

  'I'm a normal man, this is what a normal man would feel about a wife who couldn't explain ten-pound notes in her handbag.'

  'I scrub floors for them, Jack.'

  'Where? Where do you do that?'

  'In Marilyn Vine's house where Ria lives, for Polly Callaghan sometimes, for Frances Sullivan…'

  He laughed. 'You don't expect me to believe that.'

  Gertie wept with her head in her arms. 'Well if you don't believe me, Jack, then kill me now, because there's not much point in going on,' she said through her tears.

  'I've never had a real girlfriend before,' said Sean Maine to Annie. They sat on a window seat at the party. There was dancing in the room and they were building the barbecue in the garden. Sean had his arm around her shoulder proudly, protectively almost. Annie smiled at him, remembering that she must not encourage him to think she was going to go any great distance. 'It's just my luck that the girl I like is going back to Ireland in a short time.'

  'We can write to each other,' she said.

  'Or maybe I could come over to Ireland, stay with my Aunt Gertie and Uncle Jack, go to school and be near you.'

  'Yes, I suppose.' Annie sounded doubtful.

  'Would you not like that?'

  'Oh I would, it's just… it's just…' She wasn't sure how to finish. Mam had told her not to go into details about Gertie's life, it wasn't necessarily known over here. She knew that somehow it was important. 'It's just that I think Gertie's pretty busy,' she said lamely.

  'She'd find room for family.' He was confident.

  'Sure.'

  'It was a big surprise your dad coming back?' Sean knew the story.

  'I'm not sure he is actually back.'

  'But Brian said…'

  'Oh Sean, what does Brian know? It's just that Dad looked a bit sad. And he was very taken with Bernadette. I can't see he's given her up already, with the baby and everything.'

  'Still he's at home there in Westville with your mom, that can't be bad.'

  'No,' Annie agreed. 'That can't be bad at all.'

  The shadows of the trees in Memorial Park grew longer as Danny and Ria sat on the wooden bench. They held hands, not like they used to do when they were young. Not even like friends, but like people in a shipwreck, holding on for fear of letting go and being totally alone. Sometimes they sat and said nothing at all. Other times Ria asked questions in a flat voice and Danny answered. At no stage did he call her sweetheart, and he offered no false hopes and glib reassurances that they would be all right.

  'Why did you come over to America to tell us?' she asked. 'Couldn't it have waited until we cam
e home?'

  'I didn't want you to hear from anyone else.'

  They were still holding hands, and she squeezed his as thanks. There were no recriminations. They had both known that the personal guarantee was there. It was just something that neither of them ever thought would be called in.

  'Was he very sorry about us and Tara Road?' Ria asked.

  Danny struggled to be truthful. 'He's so shell-shocked about himself, to be honest, that it's only one part of it.'

  'Still he sent you out here to tell me, he must care a bit?'

  'No, I insisted on coming out.'

  'And Mona?'

  'Barney said Mona said nothing. Nothing at all.’.

  'She must have said something.'

  'If she did, he didn't tell me.' This was a very different Danny. No longer certain of anyone, anything. Even the great Barney McCarthy was no longer a fixed point in his life.

  They spoke idly of what Danny would do now. There were other estate agencies where he might get a job. But he would go in on a very low rung of the ladder.

  'What about Polly?'

  'She's giving up her flat, getting a job, Barney says she's a brick or a sport, I can't remember which.'

  Ria nodded. 'Yes, it would be one or the other.'

  'And the staff, that's another very hard bit,' he said.

  'Who told them?'

  'I did as it happens.'

  'You've had a lot of the telling to do.'

  'Yes, well, I rode high and had a lot of the good times when they were there too.'

  'I know you did, we both did.'

  The silences that fell were not anxious or uneasy. It was as if they were both trying to take it all in.

  'And what does Bernadette say about it all?'

  'She doesn't know.'

  'Danny?'

  'No, she doesn't, truly, I'll tell her when I get back. She'll be calm. Her mother won't, but she will.'