He silently studied my hair for a moment before saying, “I can understand that. I love to see your hair blowing in the wind, but I also hated it when the other men noticed your beauty. Jealousy is a very frustrating emotion to deal with, I’ve learned lately.”
Yeah, I definitely knew what he meant about that. I almost had a nuclear meltdown when he said that his parents wanted to fix him up with the witchy Ella Weaver. Glancing at him now, and seeing the bothered look on his face, I couldn’t help being astonished that the gorgeous guy riding next to me liked me enough to get jealous about some other guys finding me attractive. I kept thinking that I would wake up any minute and discover that I’d dreamed Noah into existence just for my mind’s personal entertainment.
We reached the dark fairy woods as a gust of wind rustled the leaves of the trees, blowing the scents of the forest over the cornfield. I deeply inhaled the sharp pine smell that was mingled with the aroma of decaying leaves. Although an invisible force seemed to be pulling me to the path into the trees, I fought the impulse and began to rein Lady around at the place we had turned the last time.
Unexpectedly, Noah shook his head, and holding my hand firmly, he tugged me along with him and Rumor as they sped up to a trot, entering the quiet shade of the trees. Excitement bubbled up in me as a blast of cooler air from under the trees tickled my skin. I was immediately glad for my hoodie.
After a few minutes of hard trotting had forced me to start posting, Noah finally pulled up on his reins when we entered the sunshine of a small clearing in the middle of the forest. Several huge old trees were randomly littering the ground like a child’s giant Lincoln Log set, creating an oasis of late-afternoon light from the dark shade of the imposing trees that surrounded the clearing. With our sudden arrival, several squirrels bounded up the fallen trees, and rabbits scampered off in the undergrowth, rattled by our appearance. The feeling that this was a magical forest entered my mind again, and a peaceful kind of happiness filled me that I was here in this special place. And especially that Noah was with me.
In a fluid action, Noah jumped off Rumor. While I watched him, he amazingly took off the horse’s bridle, hanging it loosely on a broken branch of one of the felled trees.
“Are you going to just turn him loose like that?” I asked with concerned awe.
“Don’t worry, Rose. He won’t go anywhere.” Half smiling to himself, with his lips slightly twitching, he took my reins and motioned me to dismount.
Which I did, but on the way down I informed him, “You aren’t turning Lady loose like that. I wouldn’t trust her not to spook at something and bolt off into the trees. Then I’d never see her again.”
Laughing, he pulled a halter and lead rope out of his saddlebag and, holding them up in front of me, said, “I figured you’d say that. I came prepared.”
I let him take Lady, exchange the bridle for the halter and tie her to a tree, near where Rumor was standing. While he was doing that, I found a smooth section of one of the logs and sat down, watching Noah take care of my horse.
Normally, I would have done that myself, but for some strange reason I let him do it. As if I knew he wanted to take care of me—and a part of me wanted him to. That was mildly unnerving, I thought, admiring his tall, muscled body as he ambled over to me. Most guys his age weren’t built like that. He was even bigger than Sam, and I envisioned him making a great football player. It must be all the farmwork and building houses he did, I guessed. He hopped onto the log beside me, sitting very close but not quite touching. Glancing over at him, I wondered why he was just staring ahead into the trees with a pensive look on his suntanned face. Impatience and frustration rolled together inside me as I watched him ignore me. What was he waiting for?
As if he could read my thoughts, a grin appeared on his face, and breathing deeply he turned to look at me. I waited expectantly for him to do or say something. I was way too chicken to move a muscle.
He licked his lips and said in a deep, smooth voice, “So you’ve never been kissed, and I’ve never kissed anyone.”
Relief washed over me at his words—we’d both be each other’s firsts. But even though I was bubbling with happiness that he wouldn’t have a bunch of other girls to compare me to, I still could hardly breathe. My heart was pounding in my chest in a mad fury. When he leaned in closer, I swallowed hard, not knowing if I should keep my eyes open or close them. I was suddenly scared to death. I knew he knew it when he softly went, “Shh.” Slowly he brought his face to mine, but instead of going for my mouth, he touched his moist lips to my neck, just below my jawline. The feeling sent a tickling spark that jolted every part of my body to attention, especially deep down in the pit of my belly.
His mouth trailed softly, slowly along my neck and behind my ear, then over my ear and to my face, leaving a warm tingling wherever his mouth went. He was moving so deliberately slow that it was driving me insane. I wanted him to kiss me, to press into me. I wanted him closer. I was becoming impatient, when he whispered close to my ear, his hot breath caressing me, “Are you all right?”
Gulping, “Uh-huh, it feels so…good,” I breathed out in a whisper.
That’s what he needed to hear. With more force than I expected, his mouth was on mine, parting my lips, his tongue entering hungrily. I stifled a gasp, matching his hunger with my own. His one hand was in my hair, gripping it tightly, and his other hand was lower on my back, pushing me harder into his chest, until my breasts were pressed against him firmly.
My own hands had gone around his neck and I was weaving his thick, wondrous hair into my fingers, stroking the skin beneath. He groaned loudly, pulling his mouth away from mine to bring it to my neck, where he kissed deeply, sucking firmly on my neck for an instant, until I felt faint and dizzy. Just when I thought I’d explode with feeling, he brought his mouth back to mine. This time my mouth was open and waiting. Our tongues were probing, experimenting in a primal dance that even though we’d never been taught, we knew instinctively. And it all felt so wonderful, so right. I shouldn’t have worried about the kissing part. It came so naturally. I already felt like a pro and I’d only been doing it for a minute or so.
His hand slipped under my hoodie and the shirt beneath it to softly rub the bare skin of my back, while his mouth was still hot on mine. The feeling of his hands on my skin was wondrous, but then they began to travel higher, squeezing his fingers under my bra strap. The action caused me to tense, suddenly aware of what might happen if I didn’t do anything to stop it. The slight tension in my body was enough for Noah, though. He wrenched himself from me, breathing heavily and rubbing his forehead vigorously. He stood and walked away a few steps, pausing for some seconds before returning to me. In an abrupt movement, he grasped my hands and pulled me off the log and up to him. Cradling my body against his, he hugged me gently, rubbing my back—now from the outside of the hoodie.
“I’m sorry, Rose. I got carried away.” He took a shuddering breath. “I’ve never felt so out of control before. I almost—I mean, I was close to just…going all the way without stopping.”
He moved his mouth down to the top of my head and kissed my hair. The shock of having him jump away from me had doused my flames a little, leaving just an uncomfortable longing behind. But now the pulsing sensations were springing to life once again. I tilted my head up, and pulling his head down with my hands, I met his mouth again, reveling in the feeling. For some seconds he was very much into the kiss, delving his tongue deeper and cupping my face between his hands. Then he was pulling away again. I tried to hold him close, not wanting him to let me go.
“Rose, stop it. We can’t get carried away.” His voice was thick with emotion and I understood that he was trying to be a good guy, and I was acting like a tramp.
Tears started to flow and I let go of him, leaning back against the log. He was there hugging me again in an instant.
“Don’t cry, Rose. It’s okay—shhh,” he soothed.
“I’m s-sorry. It’s b-been…a…rough da
y for…me,” I stuttered, letting him comfort me. I never wanted him to let go of me. I wanted to stay like that, in his arms, forever.
Smoothing my hair, he stepped back and looked down at me with tender eyes.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for. Someday we won’t have to stop. Just think how amazing that’ll be.” He said it all with such passion that the words were partially lost on me.
I just nodded and he laughed, hugging me again. His face pressed into the side of my neck, the heat of his breath warming my sensitive skin. I leaned into him, my body becoming jellylike. This was the best part—being held tightly in Noah’s strong arms was even better than the kissing. I really did have a boyfriend now.
“Now, let’s get you home before Sam comes looking for you,” he said softly into my ear.
Noah bridled Lady up for me and helped me onto her back. I felt weak and didn’t refuse when he took my reins and led me along as if I was an infant. I didn’t know what the heck was wrong with me. I never acted so emotional and sappy. His mention of Sam brought back the conversation I’d had with my brother before I left on the ride.
Although I’d never tell the big jerk, he was right. I had been so caught up in the feelings raging through my body, I would have done about anything with Noah in the woods. And we didn’t have any protection. I finally understood why girls got pregnant. I had always stuck my nose up in the air at those girls with the swollen bellies at school. Now I finally knew why.
We rode in relative silence the rest of the way back to the road, both of us lost in our own thoughts about what had happened in the secret meadow. My body still felt the traces of his touch, and although my heart had calmed down a bit, it still was slightly spastic, causing me to take a gulp of air now and then. When I would make my drowning noises, Noah would glance over with a knowing smile on his face and give my hand a tighter squeeze. He knew what I was feeling because he was feeling it, too, making me able to deal with my hormonal prison break a little easier.
When we were almost to the road, he guided our horses into the privacy of the hedgerow trees. He pulled me into such a tight embrace that it would have been uncomfortable if I hadn’t wanted him to get even closer still.
“Rose, sweetheart, I’ll see you on Monday,” he mumbled into my hair.
I wrestled with his arms for a second, pulling back to look at his face. “Can’t I come to the youth service tomorrow evening?” I hoped I didn’t sound as if I was begging.
He sighed unhappily, releasing his hold on me. Then he reached up with both of his hands to run them deeply through his hair before answering, “I wish you could, Rose. More than anything, but church will be held at the Hershbergers’ tomorrow, and my parents can’t invite your family to another family’s house. I’m sorry.”
Seeing my disappointment, he added, “We’ll have it at our house again sometime, and I’m sure Father will include your family then.”
“That’s okay. I understand.” I said it, but didn’t really mean it.
“Cheer up. We’ll be seeing each other every day next week while I’m fixing your house.” He grinned, before swiftly and all too fleetingly bringing his lips to mine. “You better get going, Rose. It’s almost dark. And be careful,” he warned.
Funny, I didn’t even notice that we were surrounded by the thick gray haze that settled in the air right before night hit. While I was in Noah’s embrace, I felt warm, but now that he’d let go of me, the chilly night air was creeping through my clothes, causing me to shiver.
I was determined to show him that I wasn’t a clingy emotional wreck. Pivoting Lady away smoothly, I squeezed her into a trot, leaving him alone in the darkness of the trees.
I turned back before I was out of sight and, stopping, blew him a kiss. “I’ll see you on Monday, Noah.” I couldn’t resist adding, “And good luck with Ella tomorrow. Don’t forget me.” With that, I blushed and whirled Lady around again, cantering through the gap without another glance back.
It was only after I was riding down the driveway to my house alone that his comments about us someday not having to stop, and being together every night, came crashing into my thoughts. Was that truly possible for us? I almost believed it could happen as a cozy contentment fanned out in my body, while the memories of Noah’s lips on mine came flooding back to me.
10
Noah
Dealing with Temptations
SITTING UP ABRUPTLY in bed, I searched out the window. It was way too early to head downstairs yet. Darkness was just beginning to be pushed away by the muted light of morning. Even the birds were still silent. Sighing, I leaned back on the pillow, trying to control my anxiety for six o’clock to arrive. The time I’d be able to get ready to start the day.
And see Rose.
I shook my head slightly, exhaling softly in the dark room when I remembered her look of disappointment before we parted ways on Saturday night. I had told her that church would be held at the Hershbergers’ and that she wouldn’t be able to come. She didn’t hide her emotions well. The dismay was plain on her face, even though she said she understood. That was one of the things that attracted me to her, though—all the emotions and feelings she had. With Rose, I never had to wonder what she was thinking for long; she’d just blurt it out, which was refreshing.
Of course, at some point she’d have to learn to rein in her outbursts. Well, at least around the others. I was certainly okay with her speaking her mind to me.
And then, right before she cantered away, she told me not to forget her. Was she kidding me? I couldn’t stop my mouth from turning up into a smile when I thought about how she said it felt so good when I touched her. The way she had responded to me kissing her had made my blood run so hot that I thought I’d lose it. Even though I had no experience kissing a girl like that, it had come so naturally for me with her—as if she was meant to be in my arms. Somehow, I knew what to do, and I didn’t want to stop at the kissing either.
A crazy recklessness had come over me, with Rose’s warm and willing body against me. I didn’t care about anything else in the world. I just wanted to touch her. I wanted her so badly that it nearly killed me. The only thing that had held me back was the feel of her body stiffen for that fraction of a second when I lifted her bra strap.
I couldn’t do that to her. I wasn’t like the English boys who’d chase after her if they had the chance. She would come to our wedding bed a virgin, even if it killed me. Frankly, the way she kissed me back, she wasn’t going to make it easy on me.
All the intimate thoughts were making me uncomfortably warm, so I crossed the room to the open window and looked out toward Rose’s house, letting the breeze cool my passion. Only a few hours now and I’d get to see her again. But it felt like an eternity, leaning on the windowsill, waiting.
* * *
I was in luck today. Mr. Denton had driven Father to a new work site to bid on a job after he had dropped Jacob, Matthew and me off at Rose’s to begin the repairs. Jacob and Matthew were starting on the rotten boards of the front porch, and I was in the process of taking the new screen up to Rose’s bedroom, which I had brilliantly volunteered to do. Jacob was so ignorant, he’d agreed to it without even thinking about whose window the screen was for. I gave a silent prayer of thanks for his stupidity as I climbed the stairs.
I certainly wasn’t as nervous walking into Rose’s bedroom this time as I’d been the first time. But even worse than the nerves, in a way, was the uncomfortable heat that was racing through me at the thought of seeing her again. I knocked lightly, and after a few seconds without sound, I rapped on the door even louder. Suddenly it occurred to me that she was probably still asleep. Following my gut, I gently turned the knob and pushed the door open softly. I ducked into the room, leaving the door halfway open, giving me a reason not to get carried away with her again.
She was lying on a large mattress this time, piled with pillows. Luckily for me, since she was sprawled on top of the blankets, she was well covered, wearing cotton
jogging pants and an oversize T-shirt.
Setting the screen down against the wall, I silently crept closer to her, kneeling down on the mattress. I watched her sleep for a long minute. She looked so angelic, hugging her pillow, with her mouth slightly open and her eyes fluttering occasionally.
I couldn’t take it any longer. I bent down and kissed her mouth tentatively, then sat back waiting. The corner of her mouth rose into a mischievous smile. Without opening her eyes, she reached up and somehow managed to wrap her hands around the back of my neck and pull me down to her. My lips found hers and I kissed her fiercely, all the thoughts and daydreams of the past day taking control of my judgment now that I had her in my arms.
She moaned softly, encouraging me to move on top of her, which I all too readily did. The warmth of the bed from her body and the smell of her skin rammed into my senses, to the point that I didn’t care if my brother was nearby. I pressed her into the mattress, not being able to get close enough, wanting more of her.
“Oh, God, could you at least shut the door so you don’t traumatize your brothers,” Sam said angrily, flinging the door wide open instead.