Chapter 20
Tenet sat in the fading evening sun and watched his daughter run around the grounds surrounding the gazebo. His leg was sore from the machines prodding his scar where the transmitter had been removed by Weevil all those years ago, as if the machine just couldn't believe it wasn't there. His father had been furious, but held his temper well and seemed to buy Tenet's story that it was removed by the hunter before they left Southland. Udin hadn't known anything about it, something Tenet found curious. He assumed his father's right hand man knew everything that went on. Apparently there were things Bradwin told no one.
Violet spun in circles, holding her arms out and tilting her head back. Tenet smiled. So far it didn't seem like this whole ordeal had changed her, and he knew Scarab would be beside herself with relief. He desperately wanted to ask Wren if he'd had any notice from anyone on the plan of escape, but with all the guards and bots around, he barely dared to speak to Wren about mundane things, let alone secret plans. His father and mother had a ball to attend that night. He had heard something about an accelerated migration, though when he asked about it directly, his father refused to elaborate. They had a couple days at most before they'd be leaving for New Canada. If Scarab was going to get him, it had to be before then.
"You look tense," Wren said from his seat next to Tenet. He, too, watched Violet with interest, always looking to see if there was danger approaching.
"I am tense. It's been a tense few days."
"Let me get you a drink," Wren said. He had been looking for an opportunity to pass Tenet some information and seized the moment. He slipped his hand in his pocket and grabbed the small piece of paper, then stuck it in his palm as he poured Tenet some lemonade.
Tenet quirked an eyebrow in question, but accepted the drink. As soon as his hand closed around the glass, he felt the corner of the paper and his eyes widened slightly. "Thank you. I was parched," he said, easing the paper into his hand. He took a sip of the drink and scanned the area casually.
"It's very wide and open here," said Wren. "Not as many people as I would have expected on a southern farm."
It took Tenet a minute to realize that Wren was talking in code. He was telling Tenet that all was clear and he could read the note, and once it dawned on him that was Wren's real message, Tenet quickly unfolded the paper.
Team checked in. Waiting for instructions.
It was small, but it was enough. Tenet felt the flood of relief and almost gave them away until he caught Wren's pointed look. "Yeah, uh, I think everyone's busy with harvest balls and such," Tenet said. Scarab was safe. He breathed a sigh of relief and crammed the piece of paper deep in his pocket.
Violet came running, sweating and breathing hard but smiling. "That's enough spinning for me," she said before she flopped on the bench next to Tenet. "I'm sweating my balls off."
"Violet!" Tenet said, torn between laughing and groaning. "You can't repeat everything you hear."
Violet shrugged and reached for a glass of water. She took a big gulp then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. In her fancy clothing, the rough language and carefree demeanor highlighted the differences between the two possible lives for her. For the first time since she was born, Tenet had a fleeting moment of worry that he was denying her a better life. "Violet," he began, only to be cut off from the sound of the door to the house opening. A familiar voice drifted to him on the breeze and any thoughts about Violet's upbringing were put on hold as he stood to look at his sister.
Nada was nattering at Merle, her nasally voice cutting through the thick evening air as it always had. In front of her marched two prim and proper children, and beside her strode the brow-beaten Merle. If Tenet had to draw a picture of his sister as a wife and mother, that was the very image he would have drawn. She was almost to the gazebo before she stopped handing out instructions and actually turned and looked up. For a second, her step faltered and Merle caught her elbow. For the briefest of moments, she smiled up at her big brother as if the years between them had melted away, and Tenet held his hands out for a hug. Just like that, the moment passed. It was as if the familiar affection hurt her, and she schooled her features just as their mother always did. "Tenet," she said, struggling to say anything at all.
Tenet felt the loss like a blow. "No hug for me, sister?"
The silence grew until Merle could no longer stand it and held his hand out. "Tenet, welcome back."
Tenet took Merle's hand and smiled sadly. "Ah, Merle. I knew you would win in the end."
Win? Merle felt like laughing with bitterness. "Yes. Well." He cleared his throat. "Uh, our children. Children, I present you to your uncle, Tenet. This is Auger, and this is Anka."
Tenet crouched low to look at his niece and nephew. They were twins, but not identical. Anka looked like Merle, and Auger looked like Nada. "Well hello, you two." Anka bowed her head primly, then looked away. Auger stared, his finger back up his nose. Yes, Tenet thought. Exactly what he would have expected of Nada's children. He sighed and stood back up. "As you can see, we've got refreshments. Please feel free to join Violet."
Anka regally mounted the stairs and sat as far from Violet as possible, while Auger sat right beside her. Tenet found it interesting and wondered what Violet did to piss little Anka off. He motioned to Merle and Nada to join he and Wren, and told himself to have patience when Nada passed him coldly.
"Would you have any wine out here?" Merle asked.
Tenet shook his head. "No, lemonade and water."
Nada took a seat on the edge of the bench and snapped open a fan. "Have lemonade for tonight," she commanded Merle. Tenet looked between the two and wondered at the animosity, but was relieved when Merle grabbed a glass of lemonade without argument and sat.
Tenet took his own seat and ran a hand over his sweaty brow. "I don't remember it being so hot," he said, trying to end the uncomfortable silence.
"Don't you have Summer in the wilderness?" Merle asked.
"Not like it is here. There are four distinct seasons up there, a little bit of everything. It gets hot, but not enough to scorch. Like a New Canada Summer."
"Interesting," said Merle. In spite of the lack of wine, he had looked forward to speaking with Tenet about the great unknown land. His wife could be as snooty as she wanted. He planned to enjoy the conversation. "So you have winter as well? Like, with snow?"
Tenet nodded, then laughed at Merle's look of horror. "I know. I was terrified myself that first year. You can't imagine the fear as you stand in your house and watch the snow pile deeper and deeper like you're being buried alive in an ice coffin."
"I can't imagine! How did you make it without going mad?"
"He seems to have managed to find something to do with his spare time," Nada said icily, shooting a pointed glare in Violet's direction.
Tenet's hand tightened around his glass and he could almost feel Wren's silent warning. He took a careful breath. He had forgotten just how sharp Nada could be when she felt like she was backed into a corner. He took a sip of the lemonade to buy his temper time to cool, then placed it on the table and sat forward. "I do not believe you want to discuss certain things with me, little sister."
Nada's eyes widened and the heat crept up into her cheeks. She fanned herself furiously, wishing she could take back the comment. She hadn't meant to piss him off, truly. She was stunned at the emotions that threatened to break her when she saw him, her Tenny, her defender and true champion all through her childhood that had simply up and left her one day as if she never meant anything to him at all. Everything she felt for him over the years roiled inside and came to the surface as soon as she laid eyes on his handsome face. She was thrilled and pissed and excited and deeply hurt all at once.
"Da!" Tenet turned to Violet. She was standing on a bench and pointing at something across the lawn. He stood and crossed to her, afraid something was wrong. "What's that blinking?" she asked.
Tenet looked, then felt a smile spread. "That, my dear young lady,
is a lightning bug."
Violet wrinkled her nose. "What's that?"
He held his hand out for her to take. "Come. I'll show you."
Violet hopped off the bench and ordered Auger to follow. The boy stood and followed them across the lawn without question. Tenet pulled them along until they got close to the small, glowing bug. Carefully Tenet scooped it up in his hand and held it out for his daughter.
"It's a bug," Violet said flatly.
Tenet laughed. "I told you it was. Here. Hold your hand out."
"Will it burn me?"
"No, silly."
Violet bit her lip and held out her hand. Tenet carefully put the little bug into her palm and her eyes went wide when it began blinking again. "How does it light up?"
"Bioluminescence," Tenet told her.
"Bio what?"
"Bioluminescence," Auger repeated, stunning both of the others. "It means it's got light juice in its butt."
Violet giggled and Tenet smiled. "A man of science, are you, Auger?"
The boy shrugged. "If you squish it, the light juice gets all over your hands."
"Don't squish it. It's too pretty."
"It is pretty," Tenet said. "And it's a wild creature. We don't want to harm wild creatures, do we?" He guided Violet's hand to the grass. "Now, let's let it go. It'll fly around with its friends and give us a good show."
Violet let the bug go and watched as it blinked and got further and further away from them. She took her Da's hand again. "Do we have biolumy things at home?"
Tenet gave her hand a quick squeeze. "We are home," he said.
"Oh. Yeah."
They turned and headed back to the gazebo. Tenet saw that Anka was standing and watching them. As soon as they got near, she turned and dropped back in her seat, and he felt bad for the little girl who was as stubborn as her mother.
"Playing with bugs, Tenet?" Nada asked, fanning herself again.
He smiled and shrugged. "You used to play with them, too," he pointed out.
"Years and years ago."
Tenet sighed and sat down. "Yes. Years and years ago. But what fun it was. I was telling Violet earlier how much fun you used to be."
Merle snorted into his lemonade, earning a scathing look from his wife. "Yes, well. I had responsibilities," Nada defended. "I had to grow up fast and save the face of the family."
She was trying to make Tenet feel bad. It occurred to him that at one time, her guilt trip would have worked. He would have felt horrid and begged and groveled until she deigned to forgive him. He was almost shocked to discover he felt no guilt at all. He turned to look at the children. Anka was ignoring Violet and Auger who sat and chatted. Auger's finger was still in his nose and Tenet shook his head.
"Auger, did you know that I am a medic like your grandmother?"
Auger turned and shook his head.
"Well I am. And I can tell you from a medical standpoint that what you are doing with that finger in your nose could well be the death of us all."
"Tenet, don't be foolish," Nada snapped.
"It's true," he said, turning to Nada. "Don't tell me you've forgotten where wraiths come from?"
Nada looked confused for a second before she rolled her eyes. "Oh, no. Not this..."
Tenet stood and walked to the kids. He crouched down in front of Auger and put on his serious face. "You know what wraiths are, don't you?"
"Monsters," Auger whispered, looking around quickly.
"That's right. Horrible, ghastly monsters that look like people. Do you know why they look like people?" Auger's eyes were wide as he shook his head again. "Because they hatch from the eggs that we have deep in our heads."
Anka gasped and Auger looked terrified. "I don't have eggs in my head!"
"Oh yes you do. We all do. They're crammed up, right near our brains." He pointed up his nose. "Way deep inside."
"That's not true!" Anka said. "People can't have wraith babies!"
"Why not?" Tenet asked, turning to the little girl. "Mummies have regular babies, right? Wraiths can come from anyone. How else could they look like people?" He turned back to Auger, certain the logic would make sense to the children. "Now, as long as you leave the eggs alone, they will never hatch. They will die and fall out and there won't be any wraiths because of you." He held up a finger. "But, if you dig around up there, you'll knock them out when they're still good and they'll fall to the ground and hatch into a wraith."
Auger's eyes went wide and he quickly pulled his finger from his nose. "I never saw an egg!"
Tenet nodded firmly and patted his chest in feigned relief. "Good! Then we aren't too late. Just don't ever, ever do that again. Got it?"
Auger nodded quickly. "I promise."
Tenet smiled and rubbed his hair. "Good man. Now, you children finish your snack before bedtime." When he sat back in his seat, he saw Nada's look. It was the same look of bemused annoyance Scarab gave him when he told Violet such ridiculous stories. "What?"
Nada bit her lip. She did not want to smile. She refused. And yet, that was the same story he told her when she was young. "I had nightmares for years that I'd wake up to see a wraith baby on my pillow," she hissed, quiet enough that the children couldn't hear.
Tenet threw his head back and laugh. "Got you to stop that disgusting habit, didn't it?"
Nada's face burned, and she refused to look in her husband's direction. "I was a little child. All little children are disgusting."
Tenet smiled at his sister's discomfort. "I guarantee he'll never stick that finger up there again."
"He's smart enough to figure it out, you know," she said defensively.
"He's too young to question it." He waved a hand. "Come on. Admit it. I'm a good uncle."
He used to say, "I'm a good big brother." And then he would tickle her until she agreed. The fact that he now changed it to uncle brought her back to the present and killed the good humor between them. She swallowed back her unexpected tears. "You just left," she said quietly. "You didn't even tell me."
"I couldn't," he said, begging her to understand.
"You left me to face them all alone."
"You had me," Merle said with a frown.
Nada waved him off. "This isn't about you."
"And it's not about you, either," Merle said, raising his voice.
"It's okay, Merle," Tenet said. The last thing he wanted was a blow up.
"No, Tenet, it's not." Merle turned and looked at his wife. "It was not about you then, and it is not about you now. Your brother ran because they forced his hand, and you full well know it. You are a woman. You have no idea what it's like to be a man, to face an uncertain future when no one is interested in your suit. He was forced from the military for things he couldn't control, and months passed without your father appointing him a government seat." He shook his head firmly. "I'm sorry, Nada. But you do not know what you're talking about!"
Nada's eyes were huge and her mouth flapped open in utter shock. Merle never spoke to her like that. Never! She tried to put him in his place, but no words would come. Her mouth opened and closed with strange little gasping noises and she felt her heart race in her chest.
Tenet watched the two of them and rightly guessed that Merle never spoke up against his sister. Few ever really did. He knew he should have felt bad for causing so much chaos in their lives yet again, but he found himself highly amused. What little he'd seen of Nada so far had started to eat at his treasured memories of the two of them as children. He leaned back against the bench and crossed one leg over the other, enjoying the show.
Nada's heart was really racing. Tenet had the gall to sit there looking amused, and Merle was ordering wine from a butler, no doubt about to get himself good and sloshed. And she sat there, humiliated, angry, sad and lonely and lost and... She snapped open her fan and fluttered it in front of her face, hoping the cool waft of air would calm her and stop her heart from pounding so. After a moment, she began to feel light-headed. She stood abruptly, intending to
go to her rooms and take as many pills as she needed to that night in order to stop feeling so much. She had a brief sensation of twirling before she crumpled to the gazebo floor.
"Mother!" gasped Auger.
Tenet knelt on the floor next to her and felt for a pulse. Her heart raced and her skin was clammy. He frowned and looked up at Merle. "Has she been ill?"
"I killed her," Merle said, blinking as if he couldn't believe the sight in front of him.
Tenet sighed. "She's not dead, merely passed out. Has she been ill?" he repeated.
"Did you really kill Mother?" Anka asked in a panic.
"Let Da work!" Violet ordered.
Tenet undid the top button of Nada's dress and leaned down to listen to her breathing, his frown deepening when he heard her quick, shallow breaths. He looked back to Merle. The man sat there gaping stupidly, completely at a loss. "Merle!" he snapped. When the man's gaze finally met his, Tenet spoke as calmly as he could. "I asked you if she has been ill."
Merle began to shake his head, then bit his lip. "She is...well, if she takes her pills, it's..." Merle reached into his coat and pulled out a small vial. He stared at it guiltily before handing it over.
Tenet looked at the vial and instantly knew what was it contained. Still, he popped the top and sniffed to be certain. The sickly sweet smell of widow weed reached his nostrils and he closed his eyes tightly against the pain for his sister. "Get the children inside," he ordered.
Merle felt a shiver at Tenet's cold voice. He jumped up and gathered the children and hurried them inside, a new brand of panic taking over. He'd been yelled at by Irmara, hen-pecked into submission by Nada, and even the source of Bradwin's explosive temper a time or two through the years in the Bradwin clan. However, he had never before felt that he was in true jeopardy until that moment. He grabbed his children by the hand and all but ran into the house, leaving Violet behind in the gazebo.
Tenet watched the coward race off into the dark, and shook his head. "What a sniveling, slimy little worm. And to think I used to like him."
"Should I take Miss Violet?" Wren asked, crouching beside Tenet.
Tenet nodded. "Take her to our rooms. I'll be up shortly."
Violet bit her lip. "Is Aunt Nada going to be okay?"
Tenet sighed and ran a hand through his hair. No. She wasn't. Had she ever been? But he couldn't explain it to a five year old. "For now, yes." Violet hesitated a minute before taking Wren's hand and allowing him to bring her in the manor.
Tenet turned back to his sister. She was clearly heavily addicted and he knew that the short term solution was to make her take another pill. Her body had become dependent. However, the physician in him rebelled against the very idea. He lived a life of healing, not harming. And yet, she suffered. He swore in his frustration and took one of the pills. He'd give her a little, just enough to calm her pulse and stabilize her breathing. He broke a piece off and shoved it under her tongue, then shifted so her head lay on his lap. He stroked her hair out of her face, his hands sticking in the gel that had started to seep with her sweat. He glanced at his watch and decided that if her symptoms didn't ease within fifteen minutes, he'd give her just a little more of the pill.
The minutes ticked by until he felt her pulse slow and saw that she was drawing deeper breaths. After a couple more minutes, her eyelids began to flutter.
"Wake up, Nada," he said firmly.
The eyeballs rolled behind their lids, and when Tenet lightly patted her cheeks, Nada finally woke. She lay staring up at him, the confusion clear in her bloodshot eyes. She blinked a few times before things started to come back to her. She moaned and pushed herself up.
"Easy," Tenet said, holding her arm in case she started to fall again.
Nada closed her eyes against the swirling world around her. She took a deep breath, then another. She didn't need to ask what happened, she knew full well. And by the look in Tenet's eye, he did, too. She'd only swooned a couple of times when she didn't get her pills on schedule, and she knew she was taking a risk seeing Tenet that evening without them. But she wanted to see him with her own eyes, not ones clouded by the hazy numbness of the pills. There was a horrid taste in her mouth, and her humiliation was heightened by the knowledge that Tenet had not only figured out her secret, but had been forced to give her a pill to bring her back around.
Tenet stared at his sister. It was clear she was aware of what happened. She wouldn't look at him and her face burned in embarrassment. Tenet tried to feel cold and disconnected, as he did with his patients. When that didn't work, he tried for anger. How dare she? She had children! How dare she be so damn selfish? But the anger didn't last. His sister sat there, her perfect hair messed, her expensive dress crumpled and dirty, her made up face smeared. His hand closed over the vial of pills and though he tried to hold on to the easy comfort of anger, all he could feel was a consuming sadness.
He stood and held his hand down for her to take. Nada felt a tear slip out of her eye as she took her Tenny's hand. He pulled her up and slipped his arm around her waist for support as he silently guided her to the house. It didn't escape Tenet's notice that the butler had the good sense to look away in shame, and he wondered if the man was the one that got Nada the drugs. He brought her to her family's wing and she stiffened and pulled away.
"Nada," he began.
"It was nice seeing you again, Tenet," she said from her cold, distant perch high atop her imaginary throne.
Tenet was stung by the tone. "Look, you don't have to live like this."
Nada gave a humorless laugh. "Some things never change, do they, Tenny? You're older and stronger, but my word are you still naive." Nada patted her gooey hair and did her best to smooth her gown. She turned a sad look on him, then held out her hand, palm up.
For the briefest of moments, Tenet believed she was asking for a hug, or at least a hand shake. After a second, though, her true intent dawned on him. With a bitter taste in his mouth, he pulled the pills out of his pocket and slapped the vial into her palm. He saw a quick flash of pain and regret in her eyes before she spun around and entered her room, slamming the door in his face. He balled his fist in frustration and would have pounded it into the door if a servant hadn't rounded the corner. He turned and strode angrily to his own rooms, suddenly needing to hold Violet and remember this was no longer his life.
Violet knew her Da was upset as soon as he walked in. He got that way sometimes when his patients didn't make it, and she looked to Wren for assurance about her aunt. She didn't like the grumpy lady, but that didn't mean that she wanted her to die. Auger liked his mother and it would make him sad if she kicked the bucket. But, she also didn't want to ask. Mumma always told her to give Da some "space" when he came home from a job looking mad and sad all at once, and she stayed sitting at her little desk where she and Wren had been coloring.
Tenet looked at the huge warrior coloring with his daughter at the tiny child's table. Any other time, and he would have laughed at the ridiculous scene. However, it only highlighted the fact that he didn't belong, that none of them belonged there any more, and he let out a small sob for the life his sister had to live in this hell hole. He didn't know which was worse, the guilt over not taking Nada with him when he ran, or the knowledge that she would have refused to go with him if he tried. Wren looked at Tenet with concern, and Violet was biting her lip. He failed Nada. He let her sink herself. The wave of sorrow threatened to swallow him up. He opened his arms and Violet dropped her coloring wand and ran to him. He gripped his daughter as if she was his life line, his second chance.
"It's okay, Da," she said, patting his back like he always did for her when she was upset.
Tenet shook his head and squeezed his daughter. "You will never, ever be like that," he promised on a whisper. "Never." He sank to the floor and held his Violet, begging for Scarab to come for them soon. He didn't know how much longer he could stand it.