"You don't think he may be right?" Setzer nonchalantly dealt a game of cards without glancing up. "After all, he's known her longer than I have."
"Yeah? Well, I've known her longer than he has," Locke countered. "Deal, Setzer."
The gambler smirked and dealt the cards.
~~~
Edgar strode to the top deck and gripped the railing. Why won't they listen? Don't they see that who she is will be forever changed if she does this? Don't they realize that she will no longer be the quiet and compassionate woman of strength that we've come to love? Edgar was surprised Locke seemed so oblivious to the problem. He'd always been so over-protective of her. Like he saw Terra as a sister. Why, then, is he being so blasted obstinate!
Edgar let out a quick breath as he turned from the railing to stride toward the bow of the airship. His eyes automatically searched for Terra's full head of light green hair. She stood behind the wheel with a grim look of determination as she steered their course. Something in her eyes spoke clearly of the inner terror one of her children might have been hurt.
He came to stand beside her, gently resting a hand on her shoulder. "Are you well?" Her grip tightened on the wheel as she silently nodded. "Did you need a rest?"
"I'm fine, Edgar. I've been through tougher times than this." Her voice sounded strained.
"But never alone, Terra. We were there."
Terra sighed deeply and then glanced his way. "Do you ever miss it?"
"The battles? Hardly," Edgar said, slightly smiling. He clasped his hands behind his back. "Kefka? Definitely not. But the constant companionship? The laughter? The good times?" He watched her profile as the shadows of the sun through the clouds painted a heart-wrenching portrait of grief, terror, and innocent loveliness. He tightened his hands. "Yes, I miss that beyond a shadow of a doubt."
Terra refocused ahead. "Being a king is hard work, I guess."
"At times," he admitted, unable to look away from her face. The smooth skin he so longed to caress--he cleared his throat and looked away. "Actually, most of the time, but the people of Figaro are in my blood. On some days they are my only reason for existing. They help me through the darkest times."
Through the ache brought by visualizing one woman's face while sharing his touch with another. Then the guilt. Through the loneliness of a cold bed, empty and unshared since realizing how only one woman would be enough. Edgar fisted his hand even tighter, his heart pounding at the possibilities he wouldn't allow himself to visualize, even as she stood so close beside him. Damn it.
Terra made a slight alteration to the course. "Your father would be proud of you, Edgar," she said quietly. "Of both of you. You're helping put the world right again."
Edgar caught Terra's glance toward him and released a slight, somewhat pained smile. "I appreciate the comment, Terra, truly I do, but I'm of the mind father would be less than thrilled with my handling of Figaro's relationship with the Empire." And my cowardice in relation to my relationship with you.
Terra's second glance was bright with surprise. "What? Edgar, you did what you could in a tough situation. You couldn't have gone against the Empire in everything. They would've known you were a threat and kept a closer watch on you. That would've put the Returners in danger."
Edgar lowered his eyes as he clenched his hands behind his back. He rocked back on his heels and then flat-footed again with a slight pursing of his lips. "Yes. That's true."
"But you did charm the Empire, and you did sign a treaty, and you did make it possible for the Returners to do their job a lot easier than if you hadn't been able to freely help them."
Edgar clenched his jaw. "Yes." Yet I'm unable to excuse myself to a very different duty of charming, Terra. Instead, I run to the touch of women who hold nothing to compare to you. My bravery means nothing.
Terra cast Edgar another glance. This time, she released one hand from the wheel and placed it on his arm. Her gaze met and held his. "You saw what needed to be done, Edgar," she told him softly. "You saw it and you did it. Never doubt that your father wouldn't have done the same."
Terra's voice and eyes seemed to work a miracle then, repairing a void in his heart and soul that served to steadily distance him from the memories of his father. Memories he once feared would prove he hadn't lived up to his expectations. Edgar pulled his gaze from hers and covered her hand. "Thank you, Terra. You will never know what those words mean to me."
Deepening his certainty that he loved her. Her softness. Her dedication to duty. Her determination and strength. Her care and compassion. Her power, and yet her weakness. Terra's tender hold slightly increased, her eyes not shifting from his as the warmth of her touch spread from her long fingers and through his arm. It made his soul tingle and his eyes see white.
"I think I do," she said in that silk-soft tone. "You and your brother have always been strengthened by your family, duty, and honor. If you thought your father wouldn't have seen what you did as honorable, it would have made you doubt who you are."
Edgar swallowed hard as he watched her profile. Her insight into his family--Has anyone seen through me so well? "You are truly a good friend, Terra," he forced in a calm voice, "to understand me so easily."
Terra giggled, and the sound burst with innocence and joy. "It's been anything but easy, Edgar." She pulled her hand from his with another glance toward his face before placing it on the wheel. "Three years with children and nearly five relearning how to be human has been difficult. Fun in its own way, but definitely a challenge."
"And a challenge that has dealt with you most kindly." Making her more desirable. More of a constant itch in the back of his soul. An itch no other woman could satisfy.
Terra sent him a slight smile that seemed to shine and twinkle in her eyes.
Edgar watched her profile as she guided the ship. Her high, delicate cheekbones. Her pure skin holding a color of innocence and life. Her femininity and delicate spirit balanced with determination and strength. A touch of naivety in the wisps of hair that curled and tickled her neck and ears. An intoxicating combination that made his chest tighten as he gazed upon it.
Could someone such as she exist? he asked in disbelieving confusion. She must be of my imagination. This woman who understands my fears to comfort them away. This child of war who understands delicacy and kindness so completely. This Esper angel who protects those she loves with such dogged determination and zeal. Edgar moved his focus to the horizon with a slow and deliberate inhalation of breath.
"I know why you're really here, Edgar," Terra said quietly.
Edgar shifted his eyes back to the silhouette perfectly captured against the brilliant sky. To persuade myself to do that which has burned within for ages. To . . . . "Do you?" To finally confess.
"You want a turn."
Edgar laughed. "No, no. I came to be a comfort, Terra. I haven't been a very able friend of late, and I am attempting to alter that." She turned her head to peek at him, and a strange emotion flickered within her eyes. An emotion Edgar didn't remember seeing before.
"Thank you," she said softly.
Holding her gaze, he brushed a hand gently across her cheek before resting it upon her shoulder. "You are quite welcome."
Terra leaned against his hold for a moment before turning back to the view ahead of them. Edgar forced himself to release her shoulder and breathed in slow, the breath doing nothing to relieve the burning tingle.
"What if I don't find them, Edgar?"
The strain in her voice was clear as he turned to watch her delicate profile. "We will, Terra. We will. There is no 'I' when among friends; only 'us', and 'we', and 'together'."
Terra sighed and gave a slow nod. "I know, but . . . they're so young. The oldest is only ten. What will this do to them?"
Edgar rubbed her back. His fingers burned at the warmth of her skin and, again, she seemed to lean against his touch. "Everything in life serves to make us stronger," he told her, gentle yet firm. "You know this. Look at your own life. You were fe
arful and unsure of everyone around you at one time. You were even troubled by your own identity. Now look at you."
"I don't feel I've changed," she confessed. "What if I do something that gets them hurt? Or . . . or killed?"
"Terra, during the pursuits, intrigues, and conspiracies of Kefka you were the consummate soldier. The reliable ally. The trustworthy leader. Don't doubt yourself now. Not when you need those skills most. You will be fine, as you always have been."
"But, Edgar . . . ." She turned her head toward him, tears glistening in those unique eyes. "Edgar, I'm not the same soldier. I can't use magic. I'm not as strong. What if that's enough to change everything?"
His throat tightened around all the assurances he wanted to offer her, and he choked on all the empty promises. Why can't I lie to her as I did before? Why can't I offer her the easy answers I know so well? All he could do was smile down at her in his most charismatic manner and lightly touch her nose with a finger. "Your beauty and charm are magic enough, my lady. The ruffians will have no chance of resistance." He himself had lost strength against it long ago.
Terra smiled, albeit a little reluctantly, and cupped Edgar's cheek with an almost hesitant touch. "I missed you, Edgar," she whispered as she stroked his cheek with her thumb. "I missed you so much."
Edgar couldn't resist. He took her hand from his cheek and pressed the wrist against his lips for a long moment, his gaze holding hers. When something sparkled within their depths, his closed his eyes to kiss again her wrist and then her palm. Don't hope for too much, he told himself. You are her friend, and that is all she believes to be true. Do not begin to hope she feels more, for she doesn't understand any love other than what she feels for her children. Be her friend, he told himself firmly. But the hope was so easy when she looked at him.
"And I you," he said softly, finally meeting her gaze.
“Edgar . . . don't stay away so long next time,” she choked out. "Please?"
He lowered her hand from his lips to caress her jaw with a single finger. "This I swear, my lady. This I swear."
3: Plots, Plans, & the Queen of Hearts
Edgar could tell Terra was hard-pressed to keep herself under control when the four arrived at Jidoor. A kind of quiet hysteria seemed to radiate from her. It even caused Setzer to champ at the bit. Edgar tried his best to be stable and controlled for her, going so far as staying close beside her without causing comment from Setzer and Locke. He needn't have bothered. The two were so busy arguing on possible places to search they didn't notice.
"Gentlemen, calm yourselves," Edgar told them in his most authoritative voice. The two men shot him dark glares. "This constant contention is not helping anyone, and it will only serve to make it more difficult for us to work together when the time comes to face this--" Edgar glanced at Terra and repressed the curse. "This 'gentleman', and believe me when I say I use the term loosely."
"They're not here." Terra's sudden statement was so certain that all three stared at her in quiet amazement. "He hasn't been here," she said again with narrowed eyes. "Something just doesn't feel right about the place. It's too . . . I don't know. It's too relaxed. Too normal."
"That doesn't necessarily mean he's--"
Terra cast Locke a glare. "He's not here, Locke. He's not going to come here, either. Slavers aren't welcome in Jidoor. They never have been. Not even the upper class use slaves. Why would he come here when he knows he couldn't make a sale?"
Locke looked around a moment. "Fine. It makes sense. I'm still going to go ask some questions."
"Fine."
Locke took off with a grumble, and Edgar hesitantly decided to follow. "I'll assist Locke. Terra, remain with Setzer until we return." She turned away without a word. Edgar raised an eyebrow before sending Setzer a 'don't leave her for a moment' glance. Locke waited by the auctioneer's house entrance once Edgar caught up with him.
"I've never seen her like this before, Edgar," Locke said in an angry voice.
"I know. Neither have I."
"Maybe you were right."
That statement meant a lot coming from Locke Cole. The treasure hunter never conceded to being wrong, not in all the years Edgar knewn him. "Locke, you must attempt to understand her position: Terra blames herself for their abduction. Until she is able to leave the guilt behind her, she will be a bear to work with."
"I kind of guessed that." Locke sighed and ran a hand through his pale hair. "So how are we going to do this? With her snapping our heads off, we won't be able to work together without killing each other. Or her, at least." Edgar glanced away. Locke raised an eyebrow. "You've got an idea, don't you?"
"Yes."
"And?"
"I don't believe I can do that to her. Not now. She's so lost. So confused. I cannot but . . . but I feel I must."
"What?" Locke insisted. "Do what?"
"Seduce her."
Locke stared at his longtime friend, slack-jawed. His eyes flashed. "Edgar--"
"Let me explain," Edgar said, recognizing all too clearly the dangerous spark in his friend's eye.
"Oh you better explain, or you're liable to find a dagger in your gut. Hell, you might find one there even after you explain. So, you better make it good."
Edgar released a deep breath as he dug at the ground with the haft of his spear. "I don't mean seduce in the literal sense of the word, Locke. A distraction. That's what it would be." Right?
"Go on," Locke prodded.
"When I was on deck with Terra on our way here, I noticed the change in her. She was calmer. More controlled. She talked about how and why she felt the way she did. She seemed to be more . . . more like the Terra we knew before."
"So where does the 'seduce' part come in," Locke prompted suspiciously.
"It's the only way I know to keep her mind from the rage and lust for revenge." Edgar raised his gaze. "I've wooed and pursued ladies my entire life, Locke. I know just what to say to keep her off balance. I will do nothing more." And he felt as if he were attempting to convince himself of the truth of that assurance.
"Edgar, buddy, I hate to break this to you, but you've never been a very good 'wooer'. Ladies never believed a single word of your sweet-talking choco-crap. What makes you think Terra will? You know she never did in the past."
Edgar leaned against the spear and finally caught Locke's gaze. "I believe Terra feels something for me that she didn't before." Or he hoped she did. Prayed she could. Wished that she might--
"You're going to use that?" Locke scoffed. "That's low, Edgar, even for you."
Edgar glared. "I shall do whatever it takes if such prevents her from going insane when we find this bastard."
"Sure, but are you going to follow through when this fiasco is over? You said so yourself, Edgar, that you were born to be a bachelor. You've certainly lived up to the standard. One problem: with Terra it's always been different. You've never walked over that line she drew when she first met you. You've never done anything to jeopardize how she looked up to you. Are you going to do that now? Are you really going to walk away when her kids are found? Are you going to say to her face that it was all a plan to keep her 'under control'?" Locke crossed his arms, his steel-gray eyes sparking. "That's a bald-faced lie, and you know it. You want to know what I think? I think you want her so bad that you're willing to risk a future with her just to score a couple easy nights."
Edgar clenched his jaw, sharply straightening. "I thought you knew me better than that, Cole. Terra, first and foremost, is a friend. I would never do anything to hurt her."
"A friend?" Locke's question rang with disbelief. "You'd treat a friend like this, Edgar? You'd screw with a friend's mind? You'd lie to them?"
"For the greater good, yes." Even a possibility of a glimpse at a future he could have with her if she hadn't set the boundary . . . .
Locke clenched his jaw, running a hand through his hair in aggravation before he continued. "This is easily the worst, most unethical idea you've ever had! Trying to encourage a feeling
that might not be there just to distract her from what you think she'll do? I knew you were an arrogant old scratch, but this beats everything!"
Edgar glared at him, taking in multiple deep breaths to control his rising anger. "I told you before I doubted whether or not I could go through with this. Remember?"
"But you're still plotting it!"
"What else am I to do, Cole? She needs our help!"
"Hell if I know, but this?" Locke jabbed a finger in Edgar's chest. "Admit it! I'm right. You think this is the only chance you'll have of getting her in the sack! It's nothing but a game. Another conquest, and you know it!"
Edgar pushed his hand away, barely restraining the desire to throw a punch. "Damn it, man, it isn't a game! My greatest fear, even amidst the hope and desire which pushes me forward, is she will not want me! Do you know what it's like to be haunted with that, Cole? Do you know the agony to have her smile at me with patience and understanding and not have the faintest idea I was sincere? Do you have any idea what that is like? Terra Branford believes I'm nothing but a flirt," he raged. "A rake. A rogue and a cad! She truly believes that whenever I say something gallant, I'm simply being a tease. So don't tell me you wouldn't do the desperate to coax a caress and stroke! You who have had Celes since you rescued her from the Empire in South Figaro? You've never known the self-doubt which comes with the knowledge the woman you care for may want nothing to do with you!"
Locke glared at the young king through narrowed eyes. "Tell me, Edgar, are you willing to marry Terra after this is all over? Are you ready to give up your bachelorhood if this plan of yours works? Will you throw away all your little black books and secret lists of female 'friends' for her? I'm warning you now, if she's truly your friend and you were telling the truth when you said you didn't want to hurt her, you'll marry her when this is finished."
Edgar remained quiet for a long time, glaring at his long-time friend as he fought back his temper and the desperation. Finally, he lowered his eyes. "Cole, you were right before when you said I love her. Now I believe this might be the final chance I have to show her that love. This accursed kidnapping may be the only opportunity of showing and telling her how much I care. That I do honestly believe she's the 'light of my heart' and whatever other nonsense I've confessed to upon occasion. Would you be able to ignore the opportunity?" He met Locke's gaze. "Truthfully, Cole, would you?"