“Really?”
He nodded.
I sucked in my bottom lip in and nibbled on it. The most unique thing about me was my dream interpretation. But if I told him that, would he think I was a freak?
Kellan sighed in exasperation. “Just spit it out.”
“Fine, just remember that you asked for it,” I replied. His response was to lean forward, which caused his leg to rub against my bare knee. A shiver went through me, so I rushed on and said, “Okay, so, I can interpret dreams.”
I ducked my head, bracing myself for Kellan’s laughter. When it didn’t come, I peeked at him through my hair. Instead of an expression of mocking, he wore one of curiosity. “How do you do it?” he asked.
Drawing in a deep breath, I said, “I have to be touching someone, usually holding their hands is enough. Then I have them tell me what they remember from the dream. When they do, it’s like the bits and pieces swirl together to form a perfect picture in my mind where I see the dream as they did. Once I see the dream, it’s like the symbols just become clear.”
Kellan’s expression turned to awe. I had to admit it was flattering. Very few people found my dream interpreting interesting.
“That’s amazing, Cadence. I can’t imagine what it must be like to have such a gift.”
I pulled the hem of my sundress over my knees and tucked my chin over my legs. “Sometimes it’s not so much a gift as it is a burden.”
“And you never fail in interpreting the dreams of others?”
Shaking my head, I replied, “No, it’s only my own dreams that go unanswered.”
“Fascinating.”
We sat in silence for several minutes, the breeze rippling our clothes and hair. Kellan interrupted the solitude. “Can I ask you something else?”
“Sure, why not. I mean, I just told you one of my deepest secrets,” I replied
“Is the Pageant Cadence the real you?”
My brows wrinkled in confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“Everything you’ve said and everything you’ve done…is it real? Or are you just playing the shrew to throw your chances?”
My face reddened. “Did you just call me a shrew?”
An impish grin curved on his lips. “Maybe.”
“You’re impossible,” I grumbled.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“Yes, it’s the real me. I don’t pretend for anyone, least of all you, and unless you’ve been comatose the entire time we’ve known each other, you should grasp that. I’m loud and opinionated, and I’ve meant every word I said and every action I did.”
Kellan crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t believe you.”
“Is that right?”
“Yep, that’s right.”
“Why?”
He leaned in close to me. “Frankly, I don’t buy your sexy nymph persona.”
I shot to my feet and stared down at him. “Obviously you bought some of it, or I wouldn’t be here with you right now.”
Kellan shook his head. “I’ve seen the way you act around the palace. You’ve never slunk seductively like you did last night a day in your life. Not to mention, you’ve never offered yourself to me.”
My nose wrinkled in disgust. “Girls actually do that?”
“Lots of them do.”
“Ugh, don’t tell me you actually buy in to all that fake adoration?”
He rose to his feet and met my gaze. “No, but it sure makes for interesting nights.” He waggled his eyebrows
“Whatever,” I muttered, as I started back down the path.
Kellan was close on my heels. “You know, if I had to wager, I’d bet you’ve never even been kissed.”
I whirled around. “And you’d lose that wager, sir.”
“Hmm, so someone tamed you long enough to kiss you?”
My face reddened again with exasperation. “No one tamed me. I kissed him because I wanted to kiss him. I kiss who I want, when I want.”
“Ooh, Red, that sounds promising.”
I snorted. “Don’t get your hopes up.”
“So this guy you kissed, do you love him?”
“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on just a minute. You asked me about Venessa.”
I refused to meet his intense gaze. “That’s different.”
“It’s just a simple question, Cadence.”
“Love is never simple.”
Kellan thoughtfully rubbed his chin. “Hmm, that’s true.”
I thought I was off the hook, but he cut in front of me, blocking my path. When I looked up at him, he waited intently for my response.
There was no way I could tell him the truth. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to me or Micah. “We, uh, were friends. And then, things were questionable…”
“When you came here?”
I nodded.
“Do you want to throw the pageant because of him?”
“No!”
He stared into my eyes as if he was trying to reach deep into my soul for the truth. “Then kiss me.”
“What?”
A cocky grin slid across his lips. “You heard me, Red.”
I stood stunned at his request. He took my one speechless opportunity to brush the hair out of my face. His hands were so warm they scorched my cheeks. “Kiss me and show me that you’re not thinking of that other guy.”
Micah had kissed me the first time, and then I had been so overcome with emotion the time I kissed him, that I just acted and didn’t think. So really, when it came down to it, I had no idea how to kiss someone else. I leaned in and closed my eyes. Before I could bring my lips to Kellan’s, he was kissing me. Soft and tender at first, but when I started to pull away, he crushed me against him until we were perfectly molded against each other. I didn’t protest, although I probably should have. Instead, I let his arms encircle my waist, his fingertips feathering along the exposed skin of my lower back.
I shivered as the heat of his tongue opened my lips. My arms automatically went around his neck, and I raked my fingers through his hair. The intensity of our kiss deepened—it was like neither one of us could get enough of each other. It was so different than kissing Micah. Sure there had been lust behind some part of Micah’s kisses, but at the same time, emotion threatened to overtake me—the emotion of love. Kissing Kellan felt like tasting liquid desire and passion off someone.
I tugged on the hair at the nape of his neck, and he moaned. His hand slid from waist up my ribs to cup my breast. I jerked my lips from his and smacked him.
The blood in my veins turned to ice the moment I realized what I had done. I’d raised a hand to someone above me—the Emperor’s son. I could be imprisoned for it. A few agonizing seconds ticked by as I waited for his response.
He rubbed his cheek and stared at me. “You’ve got one hell of a temper, don’t you?”
As much as it pained me, I quickly bowed my head and said, “I’m sorry…sir.”
“I guess he never kissed you like that?”
My head jerked up. “Yes, he kissed me like that, but he was too much of a gentleman to grope and paw me like I’m just some slut!”
Kellan grinned. “You don’t need a gentleman, Cadence. You need someone who can stoke that fire that burns within you.”
I squared my shoulders back and glared at him. “I don’t need you to stoke anything of mine, thank you.”
He shook his head, still grinning. “Come on, I want to show you something.” At my skeptical look, he said, “Don’t worry. It’s not my bedroom.”
“Oh, well, all right then.”
As we started back to the palace, he grabbed my hand and laced his fingers through mine. The gesture caused a slow burn to roll through my chest. Confusion sent my mind reeling. What was happening to me? I didn’t care about Kellan—I couldn’t. He was selfish, arrogant, and conceited. Nothing like Micah. Besides, I was only supposed to get close to him to help the Abir overthrow
his father. If I allowed myself to feel anything for him, how would I stand by and let the Abir take him prisoner or worse?
I shrugged away those thoughts as we descended down a spiraling staircase to the basement. At the end of a long corridor, Kellan opened a door on the right. When he flicked on the light switch, I gasped.
Row after row of metal shelves lined up along the vast room. Multicolored CD cases glimmered in the light. Music was something that had disappeared after the Great Fall. Stereos, iPods, and CDs were so expensive, no one in my neighborhood could afford them. The best we could hope for was catching a song on someone’s old radio or humming forgotten tunes.
Stepping forward, I ran my fingers over the cases, recognizing artists I used to listen to on a daily basis. I turned back to Kellan. “I can’t believe this is down here.”
“Yeah, I like to think of it as Father’s little stash. Actually, this room along with another holds one of the only surviving music collections in the province.”
My fingers lingered over several Beatles albums. “Oh, my parents loved them. They used to put them on every Saturday while we did chores. They called it mood music to swipe away the grime.” I giggled at the thoughts of my dad singing into the mop handle or my mom shimmying across the living room vacuuming.
Kellan smiled as he took the CD off the shelf. Without a word, he went to the middle of the room where an expensive stereo system was. A push of a few buttons and I Wanna Hold Your Hand filled the room and swept me back to another place and time. Closing my eyes, I let the sweet memories of my parents envelope me like a patchwork quilt.
As the song faded, I stared longingly at the stereo. Turning to Kellan, I asked, “Can I?”
“Sure.”
Flipping through the songs, I found one and stopped. “This was one of my father’s favorites,” I said, as Paul McCartney’s voice echoed out of the speakers singing Let It Be.
Kellan snorted behind me.
I glanced over my shoulder. “What?”
“Well, he mentions Mother Mary in the lyrics. He must’ve been a Believer.” An edge of disgust rang in his voice.
Fighting my temper, I replied, “Actually, his mother’s name was Mary. She died when he was very young. He’s saying she comes to him, not the Virgin Mary.”
“Oh,” Kellan murmured.
An awkward silence hung around us. “Do you hate Believers?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know that I hate them. I guess it’s more I don’t understand them. How anyone could put their life, their destiny in the hands of something that may or may not exist? It seems foolish and ridiculous.” His blue eyes sought mine. “How do you feel about them?”
The pounding of my heart echoed in my ears, muting the sounds in the room. The callous and cold way Kellan felt about Believers was another reason not to care for him or what happened to him. As much as I wanted to tell him off about it, I realized the weight of my words. If I showed too much sympathy for Believers, I could be in a lot of trouble. “I guess I try not to think about them,” I finally answered.
“How can you not? When I think about all the suffering they caused in history, it pisses me off. They caused the Second Civil War, and then when the Great Fall happened, what did they do? Still worried about God and religion in the middle of all that chaos. So weak.”
The room seemed to close in on me. Breathing seemed impossible as I tried keeping my emotions in tack. As if on cue, the tattoo on my shoulder burned with his words. I turned my attention back to the racks of CDs.
“I think we need a little mood lightening, don’t you?” I asked.
Kellan laughed. “Sure. Why not.” He peered at the CDs and chose one. When I recognized the song, I nervously chewed my lip. My brown eyes locked with his blue eyes as the upbeat tempo of Brown Eyed Girl reverberated around us.
Grinning, he held out his hand. “Care to dance?”
“Um, I guess…I’m not really that good.”
“Well, if you’ll let me lead, we’ll be fine.”
“Don’t count on it,” I muttered under my breath.
Kellan burst out laughing. “You don’t stop, do you?”
I shook my head. “Nope.”
He pulled me into his arms, crushing me against him like before. It was only a moment before he spun me out and then whirled me back to him. Then we lunged back and forth to the beat. It reminded me once again of my mother and father and how they used to dance.
Our bodies moved together as I usually anticipated his next move. “You’re pretty good.” Kellan called over the music.
“Thanks,” I shouted back.
As we let our guard down, our moves got sillier, and laughter rolled through me. I realized I was actually having fun with Kellan. Not to mention, I had forgotten what it felt like when happiness radiated from the top of your head down to your toes.
The last chords of the song faded away, and we were left wrapped in each other’s arms.
Kellan’s face inched closer to mine. His expression was serious, if not soulful. “You know I could give you a good life.”
I stared down at my feet. “I know.”
“But you don’t want that life, do you?”
“I don’t know.”
Kellan cupped my face and ran his thumbs over my cheekbones. “You could grow to like me.”
“Liking you isn’t the problem, Kellan.” When he looked intently at me, I replied, “There is a part of you that is very likeable.”
“Then you could grow to love me.”
My breath hitched in my chest. In my mind, a voice screamed, “NO! I already care for someone, and if I care for you, it’s only going to hurt that much more when I betray you to the Abir.” But instead, I shook my head. “But how could I grow to love you when you’ve admitted tonight you don’t know what love is?”
“You know what real love is, so you could teach me.”
I rolled my eyes before I could stop myself. “Sure, I can teach you. And then the minute you grow tired of our lessons, will you be out trying to find some other girl to teach you?”
Kellan jolted back like I’d slapped him. “That’s not what I want in life,” he argued.
“Yeah, well, I could argue you’re eighteen, and you have no idea what you want.”
His jaw clenched, and he practically growled, “I know with absolute certainty I do not want to be a womanizer like my father.”
Once again, Laurel’s words echoed in my mind. Pulling away, I murmured, “I hope so for your sake, but I just don’t know if I can believe you or not.”
“Then I’ll prove it to you. I won’t force myself on you or chose you against your will.”
I widened my eyes. “You won’t?’
Kellan shook his head. “No, I won’t. And that should prove without a shadow of a doubt that forcing you is too much like my father and not the kind of foundation I want to build a relationship on. I want to know you’re willing to be a part of my life. The other girls—I know how much they want to be with me.”
“Why does this all have to be so complicated?” I murmured.
“It’s really not complicated, Cadence. If you’re willing to let me choose you, then wear red tonight.”
The ice blue dress Naomi had hung in my room flashed before my eyes. Its elegance and beauty seemed far more alluring at the moment than it had this morning. More than anything, I knew if I put that dress on, I was going home for sure. If the palace got overrun by the Abir, it wouldn’t be my fault. I wouldn’t have to feel responsible for Kellan’s imprisonment…or worse. Most of all, I would be going home to be with Micah, and somehow with my mind drowning in confusion, that brought comfort and relief.
But Kellan didn’t have to know that. As he stared expectantly at me, I finally replied, “Okay, I’ll think about it.”
He glanced at his watch and winced. “I have to go.”
I nodded. “Yep, next date.”
“I’ll see you tonight.” He leaned in and kissed me. On the lips.
<
br /> I watched him jog back down the path to where I was sure Lana awaited. Then I turned back to the palace, my stomach churning. It worsened when I saw Micah framed in the backdoor of the palace. “How did it go?”
“Fine.”
The usual impish grin slunk across his face. “Just fine? You didn’t knee him in the groin or something, did you?”
“Yes, it was just fine, and no, I didn’t knee him,” I replied.
Then the color drained from his cheeks. In a strangled voice he said, “Your lipstick is smudged.”
My hand flew to my lips. “I, um, it’s not what it seems.”
Micah shook his head. In that moment, everything between us seemed to change. It was like just one glance at my smudged lipstick had shattered everything. “You don’t have to explain, Cadence. He’s rich, powerful, and good-looking, and I’m just the goofy friend of your brother’s. You’d be a fool not to want him over me.”
“But I don’t want him,” I protested. He turned to walk away, but I grabbed his arm. “Don’t you get it? This pageant is an out-of-control rollercoaster for me. I’m doing everything I can to keep from drowning in all this bullshit!”
“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” Hurt resonated in his voice.
“Have you even stopped to think that if I win and something happens to Kellan, I’ll have his blood on my hands? Well, I have, and it’s tearing me in two. Can you understand that?” When he didn’t respond, bitter tears stung my eyes. “Micah, I need you.”
His shoulders slumped. “You know I’ll always be here for you.”
Before I could stop myself, I reached out and shoved him against the wall…hard.
“What the hell?” Micah growled.
“That’s it?”
“What are you talking about?”
I threw up my hands in frustration. “I don’t understand you, Micah. One afternoon you’re ready to run away with me and the next you’re conceding to Kellan?”
His eyes darkened. “What do you want me to do, Cadence? Go all medieval and challenge him to a duel?”
“No, but I want you to at least stand here and fight for me. Tell me you’re mad as hell I was kissing him.”
Micah glanced around us. “This is not the place to be doing this,” he hissed.