Hunter nudges my thigh with his knee again, staring into my eyes with such intensity, I’m almost certain he can read my thoughts. The simplest of touch from Hunter seems to elicit the same reaction. But the way he’s holding my gaze right now makes me feel powerless—as if he’s in control of my every move—and I’m too weak to break it.
Feeling over-powered doesn’t frighten me the way you’d think it would. Instead, I feel nothing but alive. Flames swallow my entire body, while my heart pounds with a cadence so loud, I’m sure the entire table can hear it.
I want to look away, but my will is no longer my own. I’m merely a puppet. But before I know what’s happening, he releases me, turning towards our group who are getting up from their seats.
“Come on, you two. We’re going for a walk on the beach.” Dru’s authoritative tone doesn’t sound like it’s much of an option, so I can only assume he has no plan of leaving us alone anytime soon.
Probably a good thing.
Hunter stands, holding out his hand for me to follow.
Now less than six inches from his towering body, the scent of his skin in the damp, night air overwhelms me. Fresh, clean cologne mixed with his natural scent, which is both earthy and sweet at the same time. I inhale, savoring the heady bouquet.
I look up to see if he’s watching me. And of course, he is.
“Is something wrong, Miss Chloe?” He snickers.
“No. Not at all. Come on, let’s go.” I need to distract myself from his delicious aroma before I do—or say—something ridiculously stupid.
We turn towards the rest of our group, but need to pick up the pace a bit to catch up. As we make it to the water, Dru and Peyton decide they’d like to walk in the same direction I’d gone earlier. Thank goodness Hunter has no clue I was already there throwing a pity-party for one!
As we begin strolling up the beach, the formation falls inline. Dru and Peyton at the front, Hunter and me in the middle, and Dhelia and Caleb in the back. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think they were babysitting me like bookends.
How sweet. Ha. Thanks, guys.
The sound of the waves would normally relax me, but instead I feel somewhat awkward with Hunter by my side. We’re less than a foot apart, but every few steps one of us stumbles in the sand, bumping into the other like clumsy toddlers.
My brother and Peyton walk hand-in-hand in front of us like the perfect little couple. I turn around to see Dhelia in exactly the same picture with Caleb. I’m not about to hold Hunter’s hand or anything, but I feel so out of place walking like this.
Dhelia giggles from behind us, but I can’t make out what Caleb’s saying to her. “Chloe,” is a hint of a whisper from my sister, but I manage to hear it and turn my head.
Her eyes flash the brightest shade of electric blue, like someone flipped a switch and turned on a neon sign. The sight no sooner takes me by surprise then she shouts, “Look out!” Followed by more giggling.
Before I know what’s happening, I’m tripping over a giant piece of driftwood that was not there a second ago. I lose my balance and plummet forward, but Hunter’s cat-like reflexes catch me before I land flat of my face.
“Whoa, watch yourself,” he says.
“I’m such a klutz. Sorry.”
The instant I realize he’s holding me in his arms, the giggling Dhelia and Caleb walk around us without stopping. Why does she think it’s so funny? If he hadn’t caught me, I could have hurt myself, or had my dress over my head and been humiliated for the rest of my life. I guess she’s still up to the same childish, magical tricks. Nice!
I shake my head at my sister before looking in Hunter’s direction. “Thanks for saving me from possible injury . . . or irreversible embarrassment.”
His face lights up. “No need to thank me, little lady. Saving damsels is all in a day’s work.” His eyes sparkle in the moonlight, as if encrusted with specs of glitter.
My god, I want to kiss you so badly. Ugh. “True. But this is your day off. So thank you.”
“Good point,” he says. “In that case, you’re quite welcome. I’m glad I could be of service. Please, let me know if you ever need my assistance again. I’ll gladly catch you anytime you might happen to fall.”
He tugs me closer, the heat from his arms making me impervious to the growing chill in the air.
“I’m okay now.” My voice cracks a little. “You can let me go.”
“But what if you fall again? You were all over the place you know, so it was only a matter of time.”
“Oh really? Well, I’m sure I can manage just fine. But thank you so much for the selfless generosity.”
He maintains his hold. “How about a compromise instead?”
Oh, this should be good. “Dare I ask?”
His cheek grazes mine, the feel of his clean shave making me tingle. But then he stands, his arms falling from around me as he moves to stand at my side.
What on earth is he up to?
Hunter lifts his right arm in the air, elbow out, then gestures for me to join him.
Okay, now that’s cute. And totally doable.
I meet his eyes and can’t help but smile. “That’s fair. Compromise accepted.”
I happily hook my left arm through his as we start walking again. And oddly enough, I no longer feel awkward. Perhaps Dhelia’s strategically placed driftwood was a blessing in disguise after all.
Man, why couldn’t I have been born with the gift of freezing time? I think I’d do just about anything to stay in this moment forever.
Does it get any better than this?
I’d be lying if I said I’m not attracted to Hunter. Obviously.
And I’d be lying even more if I said I don’t enjoy his company.
But would I be lying to myself if I thought there might be a chance for something to happen between us? I mean, come on. He’s the freakin’ urban-Adonis. Not to mention the obvious: he’s too old for me, and my plate is way too full right now to be distracted from my family.
Or maybe I should look at this another way. Perhaps the more time I spend with him, the affect he has on me will wear off. With his friend in the same hospital as Pap, our paths are bound to cross for the time being. It’s unavoidable. I just need to accept this for what it is and enjoy the time I spend with him.
Beyond that just isn’t an option.
Don’t be an idiot, Chloe.
Besides, I could be torturing myself unnecessarily anyway. Just because this is what I’m thinking, doesn’t mean he is. Sure, he’s attracted to me. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to see that. But he also made it clear that because of his job, he’s not looking for a relationship either. Maybe this is merely the start of a beautiful friendship, and nothing more.
If he were any other guy, I might think he was just trying to get in my pants. But he’s never says anything dirty. He doesn’t put his hands all over me. And he just doesn’t give off that vibe.
Okay, you’ve gotta stop over-analyzing this before your head explodes!
We continue walking up the Westhampton Beach for the better part of an hour. By the time we make it back to our table at the party, it feels like the temperature’s dropped about twenty-degrees. I shiver, wishing I’d have had the forethought to bring a sweater.
We watch as the spastic partygoers dance and sing along with the indie cover-band. No doubt most are drunk off their rockers. Either way, the energy in the air is invigorating. I’m having so much fun I don’t want the night to end.
“Okay, girls. We sooooooo need to dance.” Peyton bounces in her seat, watching the jam-packed dance floor in the middle of the beach.
I’m not normally one for dancing, but in the spirit of the night, I’ll go with it. Why not. “I’m in. Dhelia, what about you?”
She scans the dance area for a millisecond. “Let’s do it!”
I wonder if Hunter’s one of the few guys who knows how to dance, or if he just sits on the sidelines watching like most guys do. With his looks, I’m
sure he dances like a total white-boy though.
The pathetic image in my head makes me giggle.
I clear my throat. “So, will you be joining us, Mr. Fireman?”
He scrunches up his face, shaking his head in disgust. “I doubt it. I don’t dance much.”
I nod a few times. “Yeah, that’s what I figured you’d say.” Then I giggle under my breath again.
We get up from the table to work our way through the crowd, but before I leave, I lean down, whispering in Hunter’s ear, “Even though it might be difficult, please, try not to miss me too much.”
But I don’t wait for a response. Instead, I shoot him a flirty smile, pulling away as I spin around. But before I’m able to move two feet, he grabs my arm, yanking me down onto his lap. With my face only inches from his, he parts his lips and leans in. Every ounce of my body tingles with anticipation of the kiss I’ve imagined a thousand times.
He’s so close I can feel his warm, minty breath on my face.
His nose grazes the tip of mine, but then he stops.
My heart freezes.
“Stay out of trouble over there,” he says.
But before I know what’s happening, he has me off his warm lap and back on my feet. I stand there for a few seconds eyeing him, wondering what in the hell just happened.
Was he just teasing me?
Um, okay.
Well, if that’s how he wants to be, two can most definitely play this game.
I look him straight in the eyes. “Well maybe I’d like some trouble.” Then I paint on a mischievous smile and saunter away.
I feel his eyes searing a hole through the back of my head.
Vindication is oh so sweet. Yes!
I smile to myself. Hunter Payne might be older and more experienced, but he has no clue who he’s dealing with.
Ha. And neither do I, apparently. Since when did I grow a set of balls?
When I make it to Dhelia and Peyton, they’re already lost in the thumping music. I’m not sure who the band is, but they’re better than I would have expected. Always a bonus.
As we dance to Lady Gaga’s Born This Way, I feel the heat from someone dancing just a tad too close. But who cares. I’m so into the music I don’t even turn around to see who it is. Instead, I decide given the pleased look on my sister’s face, he must be either attractive, or someone she knows.
Perhaps I can give Hunter a little show. That just might be fun. He likes games, so we’ll just see how he likes this one.
I lean back into the rhythmic stranger, trying to get our timing in sync. Then I throw a few booty-bounces into the mix for good measure. Perfect chance to test my twerking skills.
Not bad!
As my new dance partner puts his hands on my hips to pull me closer, I find myself curious as to whether or not Hunter’s watching. I scan the crowd. But to my disappointment, he’s nowhere in sight.
Instead of making him jealous, I only succeed in bringing out my own little green-eyed-monster.
Where the hell did he go?
Nice job, Chloe. Brilliant. You probably pissed him off and sent him straight into another girl’s arms. Fabulous.
As if someone flips a switch inside me, I become uncomfortable at the close proximity with this mystery man dancing nearly on top of me.
Dhelia’s brows draw together as she watches me.
I stop dead in my tracks, flinging the stranger’s hands away from my body. Instantly regretting my terse reaction, I turn to apologize for toying with him, only to feel like the biggest ass on the planet.
Hunter?
Oh, thank god! He didn’t take off with someone else.
His gaze turns cloudy. “Hey, are you okay? Did I do something wrong . . . again?”
How do I answer that? There’s no way I can tell him the truth. I need to come up with something fast. Shit! “Uh, no. My tummy’s not feeling so well.” Yeah, that’ll work. He’ll never know I didn’t realize I was dancing with him.
“Would you like to sit down for a bit to catch your breath?”
“No, I’m fine. I just need some water.” I hold my hand over my alleged queasy stomach.
He pulls a bottle of Poland Spring from his back pocket. “Here you go.”
I’m such a fraud. “Thanks.” I take a big drink, realizing just how thirsty I actually am.
Then it hits me. I watch him, suspicion forcing my eyes to squint. “I thought you didn’t dance?”
“No, I said I don’t dance much. You guys looked like you were having so much fun, so I decided to live a little. Besides, with the sweaty Guido’s skulking around, I knew you’d eventually get into that trouble you claim to be looking for.”
So he did hear my comment before I left the table. “Well, I’m impressed. You kept up quite nicely. But for the record, I don’t need a baby sitter.”
A smile crosses his juicy lips. “No, you kept up quite nicely. And I don’t know about the babysitter part.” His grin curls up like a twelve-year-old boy with a bad idea.
As if right on cue, Caleb and Dru walk up to join our group.
Oh, crap. I didn’t realize a slow song had come on.
Hunter grabs my arm, tugging me against his rock-hard-chest. His strong arms wrap around my waist at the exact second my hands encircle his neck. With our bodies plastered up against each other, it’s impossible to hide the shaking in my legs, or the insane ratcheting of my heart.
Each time I look into his molten-lava eyes, I fear I might melt right there in front of the entire crowd. Every few seconds, his arms wind around me tighter, convincing me just how unbearable it is to feel him against me.
Being this close to Hunter is pleasure—and pain—all wrapped up into one giant ball of confusion. My body’s experiencing things it never has, things I’m not sure it’s ready for just yet. He renders me powerless in every sense of the word. The one thing that scares me more than anything else does. Well, other than magic.
I’ve never imagined feeling vulnerable to a guy. But in this moment—on this night—I feel more helpless than I ever thought possible.
The heady, sweet scent of his skin is like an intoxicating drug. All I can do is inhale until my lungs are ready to explode.
I wrap the hair on the back of his head around my index fingers, as the goose bumps on his neck tease my palms.
We continue turning in circles in the center of the dance floor. I look up into his smoldering eyes, in the hopes of seeing some sign we’re on the same page. The instant I begin gazing, the strongest feeling of déjà vu washes over me.
I contemplate the familiarity of this moment, unable to maintain concentration as he leans down to rest his face on my cheek. His right hand slides up my back and under my hair, to find its resting place on the nape of my neck.
His touch sparks electricity inside of me.
I must be dreaming.
Why does this guy I barely know have to be so damn perfect? I don’t recall ever being held like this, not even when a guy has claimed to love me. Hunter acts like we’ve known each other forever. But we haven’t. In fact, we’re more or less strangers.
I don’t know if I should run away as fast as my feet will carry me, or take everything in until there’s nothing left. I never imagined a single person could affect me to the core this way. Part of me wants to cry. But the other part of me wants to freeze this moment in time, because I know it will eventually end anyway.
It has to.
He’d hate me if he found out who I really am. ‘What’ I really am.
I can’t get close enough to take that chance.
My eyes begin to fill. As I take a few deep, calming breaths, he pulls his head back to stare at my face. The pained expression in his eyes touches me.
Does he sense my hesitation?
But before I can debate it any further, he gently places his cool, moist lips upon mine.
Time stands still.
He leans his head back, as a single tear descen
ds my cheek. But instead of looking surprised or upset, he simply wipes the drop away with his thumb. Gazing into my tear-filled eyes, he leans in again to take my mouth in a more forceful kiss. His soft lips massaging mine until we find a perfect, consuming rhythm.
My heart catches in my throat.
Numbness takes over my body, like I’m floating on a cloud. Is this what it means to melt? I’ve never felt anything like this. Not even close.
A first kiss like this only exists in fairytales.
And that’s all it can ever be.
My fairytale.
His kiss becomes more demanding. Hunter’s mouth opens wider, allowing his tongue to explore in search of mine. His right hand caresses my cheek, while his left tangles in a handful of hair at the back of my neck.
Holding me in this passionate moment, his heart pounds even harder than my own. We’re both lost in this all-consuming kiss—neither one of us able to come up for air.
I can’t breathe.
I need to stop for a second, but I don’t want him to move away. I never want this to end.
I savor the last few seconds before hesitation compels me to pull away. My lungs burn, forcing me to catch my breath. Even though I move my head away, Hunter doesn’t release his hold on me—as if I’m a bird about to take flight.
My lungs fight to replenish the air that’s been lost as I become aware of the danger Hunter represents. Yes, horrifying danger. The kind that could so easily destroy me.
Without warning, he’s able to make me forget my own name.
Without warning, he manages to make me lose sight of the life I thought I had laid out for myself.
Without warning, he opens the locked door to my heart and throws away the key.
As thoughts spin through my mind, something my mother said comes back to me. “…the incurable emptiness your other half left behind. It’s why you’ve always felt so alone…why you’ve been so desperate to feel complete.”
Wait a minute. Could that be why I’ve dated guys I never really cared about?
I knew I’d never get close enough for them to hurt me—but I also didn’t have to be alone. They filled the void in my heart left by my mother and the twin sister I never knew.
Is that what she meant?
Oh my god!
But it’s not like that with Hunter. Deep down, I knew it the first second we met. What am I doing?
I have no clue how to make room for him in my life, but I also don’t know how to live another day without the addictive euphoria of Hunter Payne.
Unable to tread this mind-crushing-current, I begin drowning in the sea of my own doubt. The deeper it becomes, the more uncertain I am I’ll survive the emotional waves crashing down upon me.
The strong, sheltering arms holding me, now feel like a steel cage—trapping me in like a helpless animal. I need to get away. I need to think without his seductive influence incapacitating my subconscious.
I squirm, pulling away from his embrace.
His eyes scrunch. The confusion on his face makes it clear he has no idea what’s brought on this sudden change in temperature—but I can’t stand here to explain it. I can’t. I have to get away from him.
I look up into his lost eyes. “I’m so sorry, Hunter.” Then I turn, fleeing towards the water as fast as my bare feet can take me.
The salty air numbs my mind, the wind throwing my hair across my back.
Once clear of all the people, I look back to see if he’s following me. My heart hopes he is—while my guilty conscience hopes he isn’t.
But I’m running all alone.
I’m sure I hurt him by taking off, but I didn’t know what else to do. I’ll hate myself in the morning. Of that, I’m certain.
I walk to the edge of the water, desperate for the chill to snap me out of this insanity.
For twenty-five minutes, I walk to clear my head. But all I can do is question myself. Why do I run away when things get tough? Is it ever going to change?
I’m an emotional mess.
Even more so than I realized.
I know I can’t drag Hunter down with me. He deserves so much better—in more ways than one. Now, I just have to find the strength to tell him. He deserves the truth. That kiss proves we’re more than just friends and it can only lead to heartache for us both.
It needs to stop now.
I walk back up to the party, but apparently, I was gone longer than I thought. Almost everyone is gone. When did it get so late?
As I reach the house, Dru and Dhelia are gathering their things. “Caleb and Peyton didn’t leave, did they?” Oh god, I sure hope not.
Dru’s face drips with disdain as he glares at me. “They went to the bathroom before we hit the road.”
“Good idea. I should probably go myself.”
“Well, you’d better hurry up. We’re just about ready to leave.” Dhelia seems more like her usual snotty self. Somehow, I should have known the truce wouldn’t last longer than a few hours.
I scan the area for Hunter, but he’s nowhere to insight. “Have you guys seen Hunter? We really need to talk.”
“Yeah well, you should have thought about that before you took off and left him standing on the dance floor like a tool.” Dru shakes his head. “He went home, Chloe. What did you expect?”
What? “He was that pissed?” I’m so stupid. Why did I freak out?
“Wouldn’t you be? Hot and heavy one minute, then you ditch him for no reason the next. When will you realize you can’t run away from everything?” Dhelia’s shouts.
I messed up big time.
There are no words.
My stomach flip-flops at the thought of him leaving angry. If only I could turn back time to erase what I’ve done.
The only thing I want now—is for the most amazing night I’ve ever had—to end.
Chapter 10
APOLOGIES