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He brushed a kiss to my cheek, and whispered in my ear, “I’ll give you anything I can. If it gives you a moments peace—a second of happiness, it’s yours. All you have to do is tell me what you want. Tell me, Ivy. What is it?”
I pressed my eyes closed as my lips parted. I didn’t want to say it. I didn’t want to hear his rebuke. But the words had formed, and I couldn’t stop them. It was a part of me that was stripped away and I wanted it back. Desperation made me want it. The kiss he just brushed against my skin sealed my desire to have it.
The words came out in a rush of air, “Your blood. I want your blood. I want to be able to feel you, respond to your touch. I want to want you again—the way I did before. ” Shame washed over me for revealing how much I wanted him, but I couldn’t stop speaking. “A drop of blood could fix it. I’d be able to feel more than pressure on my skin when you touch me. I’d feel you. I’d be yours again. . . ” My voice trailed off. My face was hot as embarrassment washed over me. I knew my eyes were rimmed, and I couldn’t hide it. I looked away, trying to pull away from him.
Collin lifted my chin with his finger and looked into my eyes. A smile warmed his expression when he saw my face. “That was hard for you to say, wasn’t it?” I nodded. He slowly pressed a kiss to my head, right on top of my mark. His lips slid against me and my heart rang with hollowness. I was dead inside. The Demon Princess made sure of it. Collin pulled away and looked at me. “I’ve wanted you for so long. I had no idea how or when you’d want me, or if you ever would. And here we are now, and I got my wish, but you can’t feel any of it. Nothing at all?” He searched my eyes. I shook my head. “Ivy, you make me feel so much. I can’t deny you that, but something about it seems wrong. Like I’d be forcing you. Like there won’t be any way to know if you truly want the things you say, or if it’s the blood talking. ”
I knew that would be his answer. My stomach sank. The pressure of his hands on me faded and was replaced by cold air. He stared at me, waiting for me to speak, but I said nothing. I could barely say it once. Offering to be his blood slave was idiotic.
I turned away from him, toward the stairs. I didn’t know where I was going or what I was thinking at that moment. I just needed a minute, and some cold air on my face to wake me up from my delusions. I’d never feel anything again, except Eric when he screwed with my mind. There was no future for Collin and me. There wasn’t even a last sensual embrace. It was already too late.
When my hand touched the metal railing, Collin spoke from behind me. “Ivy. I’m yours. In every way. I’ll always be yours. But I want you to do it. . . ” When I turned back, he held out his brimstone knife in one hand, extending it toward me. The expression on his face was unreadable. My foot stopped on the bottom step and didn’t move. I blinked. Did he say yes? Collin didn’t move. His gaze wasn’t timid and didn’t break when I stared at him, openmouthed in shock. “I can give you this. Come here. . . ”
I slowly turned and padded back toward him. The knife lay in the palm of his hand. He watched me in a way that made my stomach clench as I stopped in front of him. I lifted the blade, and gripped it in my hand. Collin lifted his hand, palm up. I took his hand in mine, and couldn’t stop staring at him. I wanted this so badly. My hand started to shake. Collin steadied it with his other hand. His fingers laced over mine, as I held onto the blade.
“Only a tiny bit. Only a drop,” he warned. Collin was watching me, taking in my shaking hand and the way I bit my bottom lip when I was nervous. There was an intensity in his gaze that made this seem more sensual than I thought. The act itself meant something to him.
I nodded, unable to speak. Raising the jagged blade to his middle finger, I pressed into his flesh until a stream of red welled up into a drop. He didn’t flinch when the blade cut his skin. I watched as his flesh healed instantly under the drop, preventing me from overindulging should I be unable to control myself. The thought made me feel vulnerable in a way that I didn’t expect. Because that’s what I was doing—giving Collin control over my body. Allowing him to access the remnants of my emotions the way Eric did. I watched the scarlet orb resting on his finger for a moment. Collin sucked in a deep breath as I raised the precious ruby drop to my lips. When I turned his palm, the blood ran down his hand like a crimson streamer. I quickly licked the trail, ending with the tip of his finger.
Collin’s voice was like a sensual stroke down my body, “God, Ivy—that was sexy. ”
Sensations flooded my mouth as his voice swam in my head. His blood slid down my throat, sweet and hot. It awakened the part of me that had been numb. I’d felt nothing for him. It had pained me so deeply to see him and not feel anything, but I never spoke of it. There was nothing to do about it. But this. This allowed me to feel everything.
As his blood slipped down my throat my body came alive. Every inch of me was hyper-aware of Collin. It made me respond to his scent, his touch. His blood burned through my body, igniting desires that had been disconnected. The sensation scared me. It was overwhelming and took control of me, so that I had no say in what I was saying or doing. The feelings propelled me to throw my arms around his neck and press my lips to his. And this time, this kiss exploded and I felt everything. The hollow place inside of me filled with lust, bursting and filling within me until there wasn’t a single place on my body that I didn’t want him to touch.
Collin’s fingers tugged my hair gently as he deepened the kiss. Butterflies exploded in my stomach as he lowered me to the couch and pressed his body on top of mine. Each kiss, every time his lips touched me was ecstasy. I needed him. I wanted him, and I pulled him down hard on top of me, nearly tearing his shirt off in the process. Collin straddled me and smiled, but a line of worry was creased between his brows.
I reached for his face, and stroked the backs of my fingers across his smooth cheek. “I wanted you so much for so long. ” My voice was barely a breath, “You’re not doing anything wrong, Collin. I love you. I want to show you. Please. . . let me show you. ” I ran my hands down his sides to his hips, and tried very hard to not move and wait for him to answer. My lips parted as I slid my tongue along my teeth, watching him. Taking in every movement. Long dark lashes surrounded his impossibly midnight-blue eyes as he gazed at me. The worry line smoothed and he lowered his body to mine, pressing kisses against me until I couldn’t take it anymore.
His lips covered my body after he tossed my shirt to the floor. My hips moved against him as my fingers clawed his back. His weight pressed me into the couch. As his kisses slid over my body, the heat of his breath made me writhe beneath him. Collin said my name softly in my ear, and his lips pressed a gentle kiss to my neck. Without meaning to, my nails cut into his back. The scent of his blood filled the air, and assaulted me. Wildly, I flipped us over, so I was on top, but Collin realized what happened.
He pushed me off of him, with more force than I expected and said, “No more, Ivy. ” I felt the jolt of the command and didn’t fight him. But, the scent of his blood made me so high-strung that it was agony to be still and wait for his skin to heal, but we did. As I lay in front of him, Collin breathed deeply, watching me—his eyes sliding over my body. It was so hot. I could barely breathe.
He whispered, “Close your eyes. ” As I lowered my lashes, I saw his lips press into the curve at my waist. Slowly, his kisses covered my body. It was all I could do to be still and keep my eyes closed. Every sensation struck through me like lightening, setting me on fire. He moved us slowly, and lay back, leaving me straddling his hips.
Then, Collin’s arms wrapped around me and pulled me down on top of him. His shirt was gone, as were the rest of our clothes. While he’d kissed me, they’d been removed, one piece at a time. Until it was just me and him. A moan escaped my lips. My mind was wandering ahead, thinking about feeling him inside of me. I wanted to taste his mouth when I did it. I wanted to kiss him and hold him.
But Collin’s voice cut through the lust and glued me in place, ??
?Be still. Don’t move. ” My hips didn’t move, although they were burning. I could feel him below me, and he was so close. I didn’t want to stop, but Collin’s voice slowed me. His hands tangled in my hair as he pressed a kiss to my lip, and sat up again. Collin smiled, as he played with a curl that covered my breast. My long hair wildly fell around my shoulders. The back of his hand slid across my breast making me suck in a breath. My control was faltering. Then I saw his face, and heard his voice, “Can I look at you, Ivy? Can you be still for just one more second so I can see how beautiful you are?”
He asked me. He could have commanded it and I wouldn’t have had a choice. But he asked. I nodded slowly. The room was so hot. My head felt like it was floating. I wanted to give him anything and everything.
As Collin’s eyes slid over my naked body a blush covered me. I’d never done this before. And the look on his face, the depth of his eyes made me wish I’d found him sooner. Collin caressed me with his eyes, and then slowly traced his finger along the curves of my body making me moan and beg for more. When he traced every inch, and caressed every soft curve, he flipped us over.
Collin pressed a kiss to my mouth. A smile lined his lips as I felt his hard body on top of mine. “Show me you love me, Ivy. Show me the way you’ve wanted to, the things you dreamed about, I want to give you those things. Tell me what you want. ” His voice was intoxicating. His words shot straight to my core and lit me on fire.
My heart raced as I thrust my hands into his hair, pulling him closer. His skin slid on top of me, as his lips drew closer, I said, “I want you. ” My eyes were hot, rimmed violet. I was unable to hide anything. Every thought, every desire I ever had for him came pouring to the front of my mind as our bodies became one, moving together.
In those few moments, time stopped. My life wasn’t the destroyed Hell it had become. There were no demons, no angels, and no prophecies. There was nothing that could tear us apart. He was everything I wanted. Feeling his hands on my body, the way I’d let some other random guys touch me before—it was so much more. The feelings shot through me, taking me higher and higher. I loved him. I could admit it. And he loved me, and was free to do so. There were no bonds separating us. No bargains claiming him. It was perfect.
When Collin finally sated my lust, I laid in his arms. His hands were just below my breast, stroking my smooth skin. Collin spoke softly, sending a current of emotion through my body. “I saw your dreams. The things you thought of. . . of me. And you. All this time, I had no idea you wanted me so much, Ivy. Even that day on the beach. . . ” his voice trailed off surprised.
I turned and looked up at him, “I’ve always loved you. I just couldn’t admit it. I was afraid of. . . ” My voice trailed off. Fear had dictated my relationship with him. It blinded me. And I felt it now, tying my tongue, preventing me from speaking.
“Afraid of what?” His hand stroked my hair. The rise and fall of his chest was intoxicating. I could lay in his arms forever. But I didn’t want to answer. I didn’t want to shatter the moment with fear. When I didn’t answer, he added, “I find it interesting that your bloodlust seems selective. ”