Dragon and Tommy were standing by the door talking quietly, but I ignored them as I looked around her room, trying to decide if she’d need anything else. As I grabbed the charger for her phone and her iPod off the nightstand, Dragon finally raised his voice.
“Grease, man, what’s your plan? We’re fuckin’ sittin’ ducks here.”
“Not sure. Gonna take her to her grandmother’s and figure it out from there. Just need to get her outta this fuckin’ house first,” I answered him distractedly.
“This ain’t our problem, man. We can just fuckin’ drop her off—”
I cut him off, turning my head in his direction as anger made my muscles tighten. “It is my fuckin’ problem. You’re too pussy to have my back, then fuckin’ kick bricks.”
He stared at me for a moment then nodded once, “Always have your back, brother.”
Tommy usually kept to himself, never getting in the middle of arguments and steering clear of drama, but for once he spoke up, ending the stare down between us. “Brother, she’s been in there a long-ass time. Need to get outta here—you better go check on her,” he advised, being the sound of reason for the first time since I’d known him.
I’d been trying to give her some time to herself, but obviously I’d waited too long, because when I opened the door and called her name she didn’t answer me. I turned and tossed the bag in my hand to Dragon and went in the bathroom, leaving the door cracked a bit as I made my way to the shower. I said her name a few times but she never answered me or made a sound, and I could feel my heart starting to beat a little harder as I got to the shower and drew open the curtain.
She was on the floor of the shower, her knees raised to her chin, giving me a glimpse of her ass and hair between her legs that I quickly averted my eyes from. Her hair was a scraggly mess around her shoulders, only half wet, and as I pulled the curtain wider to shut off the cold water pouring down on her, she raised her head to look at me.
The look on her face was like nothing I’d ever seen before.
I knew a lot of men who could keep their emotions in check. Their faces showed no indication of what they were thinking or feeling; it was impossible to read them. Shit, I was one of those men, but this was different.
Her face reminded me of that—no emotion, completely clear. But her pretty face wasn’t just completely free of emotion; it was like a blank slate.
It was … nothing, like she was completely oblivious to the world around her.
I turned the water off and crouched in front of her, waiting to see if she’d acknowledge me, but she just sat there not moving—not even shivering. Grabbing a towel off the rack, I pulled her up, swallowing hard as she stood up completely unconcerned with her nakedness. Fuck, she was built like a goddamn pinup and I was having a hard time keeping my eyes off her tits as I wrapped the towel around her.
I wasn’t turned on, I’m not that much of a dick, but she was beautiful and naked and I’m a man. It was inevitable that I’d take a good look.
I took her out of the shower and dried her off while she stood there quietly, but thankfully she moved her arms and legs to help me get her dressed. Taking a bra off was something I’d mastered at sixteen, but getting one on was a hell of a lot harder. I felt like I was squeezing the circulation out of her tits as I wrapped it around her chest, but she didn’t make one noise in complaint, so I soldiered on and finally got her shit together.
It only took about ten minutes from beginning to end, but by the time I was finished I could feel sweat soaking the armpits of my t-shirt. Jesus Christ. I was not cut out to be nursemaid to some comatose girl—but I couldn’t stop myself. I needed to take care of her.
She was mine—and goddamn if I could change that.
I needed to get my fucking head checked.
Dragon called through the opening of the door, and my chest expanded as if I could block Callie from view if I could just make myself big enough. I didn’t want that fucker to see her like this, even if she was dressed. It was the most raw I’d ever seen a person, and I was sure as shit going to protect that. Even from a brother.
“Grease, we gotta go. Been here for half an hour already—you’re fuckin’ pushin’ it,” he grumbled.
Callie gave a start when Dragon spoke, and when my gaze snapped to hers, she was back. She didn’t say anything, but she was finally seeing me.
“Gimme a second, man,” I called back to him, never looking away from her face. “Gotta put up her hair and we’ll be out. Close the fuckin’ door.”
The door slammed shut and Callie flinched, so I leaned down and kissed between her eyebrows. I wasn’t sure how to comfort someone—it’d been a long time since my mom died—but I knew that whatever I was doing helped, because as soon as my lips met her head she sagged into me.
I grabbed a brush and ran it through her snarled hair, but I didn’t have time to get the tangles out, so I just pulled it back into a ponytail as it was. It looked like shit, but it’d keep it out of her face on the bike and that was all that mattered. I moved to walk toward the door, but she wrapped her arms around me like she was afraid to let me go, so instead, I grabbed the back of her thighs and lifted her up. Fuck, I was going to be carrying her to the john when I had to take a piss.
I nodded at the boys and headed to the hallway when she whispered in my ear that she needed something from her mom’s room. It was the first time she’d really spoken to me since I’d gotten there, so I wasn’t about to remind her we needed to get the hell out of dodge. I probably would’ve strapped a fucking futon to the back of my bike if that’s what she’d asked for.
When we got to her parents’ room, she stopped breathing, and I had to rub my hand up and down her back for a few moments before she dropped her legs and started toward the dresser. Sitting on top was a generic jewelry box, and when she reached it, she almost knocked it to the floor because her hands were shaking so badly. She reached in and grabbed something I couldn’t see before racing back to me. She was jumpy as shit—not that I could blame her. She gave me whatever she was holding and turned around so her back was facing me. It took a minute for me to figure out what the hell she was doing.
She’d dropped a thin gold chain with two pendants on it into my hand. One was a St. Christopher medal, and the other a tiny gold cross. She stood there quietly as I wrapped it around her neck and fumbled with the tiny-ass clasp. That shit was not made for my bear paw hands, but I eventually got it on her.
She spun around as soon as I was finished and climbed back up into my arms—was she fucking joking? But fuck if I cared. I couldn’t lie and say that I didn’t want her there. She was a tiny little thing, and the way she molded to my body with her face in my neck was not anything I’d ever get tired of.
We made our way through the house, passing the bloodstains in the upstairs hallway and the entryway as I held her face against my neck, ensuring she wouldn’t look. She wasn’t moving, just quietly breathing into my throat, but I didn’t want to take any chances that she’d see the fucking huge puddles of blood that covered the floor. I didn’t want her to go blank again.
When we got to my bike, I tried to figure out a way to make her get down, but I shouldn’t have worried. The minute I told her I was taking her to see her Gram, she completely let go of me, the weight shift almost making me drop her before I could set her on her feet. I was in the process of changing out my smelly t-shirt for a clean one in my saddlebags when she spoke up.
“She’s not dead?” she asked, looking at me like I’d just invented the fucking moon.
I reached up and put my hands on both sides of her face. I knew it was fucked up, but I loved the way she was looking at me. Like I’d give her anything. I was sure I was going to hell, and the whole situation was total shit, but I was soaking up the fact that she needed me. Shit, no one had ever needed me like she did right then—and I knew it wouldn’t last long, but for just a few more minutes she was completely mine. I put my face close and ran my nose up the side of hers, wanting
to kiss her but knowing it sure as fuck wasn’t the right time.
“No, baby. She’s waiting for you.”
Chapter 11
Callie
The ride to Gram’s house was a blur of anticipation and apprehension that I had a hard time remembering. After Asa grabbed a clean shirt from his saddle bags and slipped it on, we left my house behind. I didn’t realize it would be the last time I’d ever step foot in the house I’d grown up in, but even had I known that I wouldn’t have looked back. Any good memories I had there couldn’t overpower the almost twenty-four hours of horror I had gone through.
Being out in the open on the back of a bike was the very last thing I wanted to do, but Asa said he’d protect me, and for some reason I believed him. I clutched his waist with my arms, my nails digging into his hard abdomen the entire way, but he didn’t make any complaints or ask me to loosen my grip. Every once in a while he’d rest one of his hands on mine, rubbing it softly before putting it back up on his handlebars. I timed the ride by the motion of his hands, waiting patiently for him to do it again and again until we got to Gram’s.
When we pulled up to the house, I felt the blood drain out of my face as I noticed a large black SUV sitting in the carport behind Gram’s little Mazda. Asa’s hand went back to mine as we rolled to a stop, watching as Gram and four scary looking men walked out her front door to stand on the little porch. It took me just seconds to realize that they were wearing the same leather vest as Asa, but that didn’t calm my anxiety at all when I saw the way they were standing around my grandmother.
Asa lifted his chin to the men as he turned off the bike and the two men with us climbed off of theirs. He sat patiently, waiting for me to climb down so he could follow me, but I didn’t move except to push my face into the leather on his back. I didn’t think I could face any more, I’d reached my limit hours before and I was barely hanging on to any semblance of sanity.
I didn’t see Gram take a step toward me, or the man with the long silver beard put his hand on her arm to stop her. I didn’t see him lean down to whisper something in her ear, and I didn’t see her glare at him but stay where she was. The only thing I was aware of, the only thing I could focus on, was the man in front of me gently petting my hand and talking in a low voice before he tried to climb off the bike.
He pried my fingers from his shirt and swung off the bike before I could grab a hold of him again. I wasn’t prepared to lose the connection, and I made a desperate noise deep in my throat as he moved away. I reached for him, scrambling for purchase as I scratched the leather of his vest, but it was only seconds before he turned and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me toward him. In my haste to get to him, I pushed off on the bike, almost tipping it over before his dark haired friend caught it. I was oblivious to the chaos I was causing in my rush.
By the time I was wrapped securely around him, my heart had stopped beating in my ears like a drum, and I felt like I could breathe again. I hated myself for being so afraid, but there was nothing I could do about it. It was so overpowering that I couldn’t feel anything else. I wanted Gram so badly. I wanted her to rock me and tell me that everything was okay, but the thought of going anywhere near those men surrounding her made me feel like I might lose control of my bladder again.
Thankfully, Asa must have known that going any closer would completely unhinge me, so he stayed standing by the bike, rubbing my back and speaking softly in my ear.
“I know you’re scared, baby, but those are my guys. Nobody here is gonna hurt you. They’re here to protect you. Understand, Sugar? You’re safe. Safer than you’ve ever been,” he soothed me, never moving except to nuzzle his nose against my ear. “You wanna go inside, sweetheart?”
I tightened my legs around his waist in reply, and he used one hand to boost me higher on his chest before speaking again.
“I won’t put you down. But you gotta tell me what you need. Can’t stand here all night, sweetheart.” He paused, waiting for a reply. “What d’you wanna do, Callie?”
“I want my Gram,” I whimpered, understanding what he was telling me but still unable to let go of him and go to her myself.
“Okay, baby. You just hold on to me. I’ll take you to your Gram,” he assured me, squeezing once before starting toward the front door.
“Poet!” he called out above my head. “You’re scaring the fuck outta her. Take a step back so I can get her in the house, would ya?”
I felt him moving, but refused to open my eyes as he carried me into the house. His chin bumped into my head as he nodded at someone, and before I knew what was happening, he had unwound my legs from his waist and flopped down hard on the couch so I was straddling him. When the couch shifted, telling me that someone had sat down beside us, I lifted my head and met the eyes of my grandmother just inches from mine.
I fucking lost it.
I was off Asa and between the two of them in an instant, my head buried in my Gram’s chest and my arms wrapped around her waist, sobbing like a child. I was so filled with relief that I was finally with her that I couldn’t even catch my breath. I knew then that everything would be okay. She was the comfort I needed when my entire world was falling apart, and as much as I was thankful to Asa, he could never give me what I gained in one second with her. I was her baby and she loved me without reservation, giving me the strength to finally all at once snap out of the fog I’d been in.
“Gram—” I moaned into her chest.
“It’s all going to be okay, darlin’. Everything’s gonna be just fine now. I’ve got you, sweet girl. I’ve got you,” she told me as she rocked, tears streaming down her face.
When I’d finally calmed and was resting quietly in Gram’s arms, I let my mind wander to where I hadn’t let it go all day. I’m not sure how I’d kept myself from rolling it over and over in my head, but I think, maybe, the human brain can only take so much before it just stops. It’s a defense mechanism that when available, can stop a person right at the edge of sanity, keeping them from falling off the edge. Once I’d selfishly given Gram some of my grief, there was finally room for me to think of it. There was finally enough courage for me to wonder and ask for answers.
“Gram,” I called, my body bracing as if preparing for a blow, “is Cody okay?”
Chapter 12
Callie
Once Gram had calmed my immediate fears about Cody, I was able to pull myself together a little and sit up. I hadn’t consciously realized that Asa had pulled my legs onto his lap as I was cuddling Gram, but when I pulled away to set my feet on the floor, I was instantly aware of the absence of his hands rubbing my calves.
He’d been rubbing my legs the entire time, and I felt a little off kilter that I hadn’t noticed his touch until it was gone. It was bizarre. I’d seen my parents do it, little touches on the back or leg that the other didn’t even seem to notice, but I’d never reached that point with any of my boyfriends. I’d always felt their touch keenly, as if I was waiting to jump out of my skin at the lightest brush of their fingers. I knew him so little, yet it was almost like I expected his touch, feeling out of sorts when we weren’t connected. I told myself it was the situation we were in and tried to ignore the panic and guilt that flared in my belly.
I needed to get my shit together, but still felt like I was seeing and hearing things in a fog when Gram stood up and pulled me to the kitchen table. She was so much more comfortable in the kitchen that I didn’t protest when she sat me down and started puttering around. As she pulled ingredients for whatever she planned on cooking out of the fridge, she explained how she’d talked to Cody’s school that morning on the phone and was waiting for them to call her back with his flight information. My brother was coming home for the first time in months, and the thought of him walking into the mess I was in made me feel like ants were crawling all over my skin.
She was still talking to me in her no-nonsense voice, getting things done even though it felt as if the world was crashing down around us, when the men
in the living room started migrating to the kitchen table. Exactly where I was sitting. My body froze, the hand scratching the invisible ants pausing with my nails still embedded in my skin until I felt a familiar hand at the back of my neck.
“Stop scratching, Sugar,” he whispered into my hair as he reached down to pull my hand away from my arm. He leaned down until his lips were close to my ear, and I closed my eyes as I felt his breath. “You’re gonna make your arm bleed. Nothin’s crawling on you, nothin’s itching. Keep those hands off your arms.”
I felt him stand up straight behind me, so I opened my eyes and stared at the table, trying desperately to keep my hands from scratching.
“Rose, I know you got a lot of shit—excuse my language—a lot of stuff going on right now, but we gotta figure out how we’re gonna keep Callie safe,” Asa rumbled behind me, sliding his hand across my neck as he sat down in the chair to my right. “She’s not safe here.”
“Well, you boys are here now, right? Your friend Poet here said we were fine as long as you were here,” Gram replied, turning from the biscuit dough she had on the counter to face Asa.
As they spoke, the men sat around the table, filling up three of Gram’s six white chairs until only the one closest to Gram was empty. The other three leaned up against the walls, watching the scene unfold with little expression on their faces.
“That is true,” the man across from me answered Gram, his accent startling me into looking up. When my gaze landed on his face, he was watching Asa and me with an expression I couldn’t decipher. “But we’re not from around here. Can’t stay here forever.”
“Asa—” I asked in a panic, swiveling my head to look at him.
The man across the table choked on his coffee at my outburst, his eyes shifting between Asa and me.