CHAPTER VII.
The next time that Mr. and Mrs. Campbell came to dine with their kindfriend, she recollected the promise she had given Anna of relating whathad passed during her stay from Rosewood.
"I think it but right to relate it," said she, "lest from what has atvarious times escaped me you may have formed a wrong idea, and thinkthat I was not so happy in the married state, as my regard for Mr.Meridith's memory would otherwise evince.
"You remember, Mr. Campbell, when I left your house, I was not morethan six years old; happy in having lived with you, and wishing for noother home. I loved my father, for he was very good to me, but I hadrather see him at your house than his own, for there I had no one toplay with me, or be my companion. When I dined with him, which you knowwas not very often, it was generally after he had been fatigued with along ride in the morning; and when he had loaded my plate with everything he called nice, and what he thought I should like, and allowedme as much fruit after dinner as I could eat, and gave me one or twoglasses of wine to help my digestion (and truly I needed somethingfor that purpose, as I never rose from the table without a violenthead-ach), he would drink himself five or six times that quantity, andthen fall asleep; and I was ready to follow his example: for not daringto open the door, lest I should awake him, I had no other amusement thancreeping to the window, and there, with my eyes half shut, and my headand stomach violently oppressed, from the quantity I had eaten, I usedto watch the coming of somebody to fetch me home; and glad I was to wakethe next morning free from the head-ach, and without the expectation ofgoing again to my father's.
"You know how differently the days passed at the farm, where I ate nomore than was necessary for me, and I met with attention from all theservants and labourers, because I was the Squire's daughter; and, exceptthe time your good mother took to teach me my letters and to spell alittle, with the use of a needle and thread, I was allowed to play therest of the day with Anna, whom I loved as a sister; and when you andEdward were at home, you always joined our party. Thus were my youngestdays spent, and often have I looked back to them in far different scenes.
"At length a sister of my father's, who had married Sir Robert Meridith,and had no child of her own, proposed my living with them, saying thatI should be quite a rustic if I remained any longer at Rosewood; andwith some reluctance, as I have been told, my father consented. My auntwas much older than her husband, and he paid her but little attention;her fortune had been his chief inducement to marry, and of this he madeample use, though what was settled on herself he could not touch. Shewas proud and haughty, and continually reproved me for talking so muchof the farm and your family, whom, she said, I ought to forget entirely;but this I thought I never could do.
"I remained a twelvemonth with her, at their house in Leicestershire,during which time my father came twice to see me; and being told by myaunt that I was already much improved, and only wanted education to makeme what I ought to be, as his daughter and the heiress of Rosewood, heaffected to be satisfied, and told her he left my education entirelyto her. "Yet," said he, "I think my dear little Maria don't look sobrisk and lively as when she was at the farm." I took this opportunityof inquiring for the friends I had left there; but he could not tell mehalf I wished to know, as how Anna was, and whether she went to school,and if Edward and you were grown; he said, you were all well, and grownvery much, but as for any thing else he had not inquired. I sent you allmany kind remembrances, and would have added some of my playthings forAnna, but as he travelled on horseback, neither himself or his servantcould be incumbered with them.
"After this time my aunt went to London, and took me with her. My unclehad been there for many months; and his behaviour to my aunt afterour arrival was still less attentive than in the country. He had hisacquaintance, and she hers; a few old ladies like herself, with whom sheformed card parties, and spent her evenings; while I was sent to whatwas called a very good school, and learnt every thing that was taught init; and when I say this, my dear friends, perhaps you will not imagineit was _much more_ than was good. I learnt from the masters who attendedthose accomplishments which are regularly introduced into schools; fromthe governess, all that feigned politeness, which teaches us to appearglad to see a person when we are not so; to tell them they look well,when their appearance is just the contrary; to acknowledge obligationswhere I felt none; and even to tell untruths rather than be uncivil, orsay what would make my hearers think I wanted politeness. I learnt fromthe rest of the ladies, and _some_ of the teachers, how to deceive ourgoverness, and to make her think we had learnt our lessons when we hadnot; and these instructions, I am sorry to say, came very easy to me,though those from my masters were hard.
"Yet I often wished myself at the farm again, or at Rosewood, where Ihad nobody I desired to deceive, and scarcely knew what deceit was; butit was not required there, while here it was in daily requisition: forI had always some fault of my schoolfellows, if not of my own, to hide;and though from them I learnt to laugh at my aunt's _finical_ ways, asthey used to call them, I was obliged to put on all the courtesy andfeigned politeness my governess taught me, whenever she came to see me.
"My father could never be brought to visit me in London, for he said hehated the smoke of it, and would by no means put himself in sight of aladies' boarding-school, who would laugh at the manners of a fox-hunter,and teach his daughter to despise him. But when in the summer vacationsI accompanied my aunt into Leicestershire, he would visit us for aday or two, and was evidently pleased when my aunt told him I waswonderfully improved, and knew as much as any young lady of my age.'Well, well, I am no judge,' said he, 'but I hope she will make a goodwoman, and not disgrace her mother's memory. Ah! she _was_ a woman, LadyMeridith, which is not to be met with in these days.'
"'But have you forgot your old friends, the Campbells?' said he to me.
"'No, indeed, papa,' I replied, their kindness rushing on my mind, 'andI hope I never shall;' and my inquiries were renewed after them andtheir family, without dissimulation.
"He told me that your father and mother were grown very old, and thatyou and Edward were nice boys, with every promise of making as good menas your father was. From my pocket allowance I was enabled to send mygood old nurse some token of my remembrance, as my father said he wouldnot wish me to forget either her or her children.
"'They will be _her_ tenants by and bye,' said he to my aunt, 'and thenwhat sort of figure will she make if she _has_ forgotten them?'
"I was then about eleven years old, and I remained at this school till Iwas fifteen. My father died, as you know, very suddenly, and I was notapprized of his illness till he was no longer in this world. I was thenthirteen, and was at first very much hurt, as his strong attachment tome, though singularly expressed, had never suffered him to see a faultin any thing I said or did; and I was sure to meet with indulgence fromhim, whenever I needed it. He appeared to have been doubly kind to meafter I had lost him, but the new mourning I now appeared in, and theincreased consequence I gained in the school, and with my aunt, on beingthe heiress of Rosewood and Coombdale, both my father's estates, made mesoon forget it; and in two years afterwards I left the school highlyaccomplished, as my aunt's flattering friends told her (in my hearing),both in mind and person; and my vanity led me to think they told hertrue, though from the many lessons I had taken of dissimulation, I oughtto have known the value of their commendations.
"I was now to be introduced to the world, but who was to introduce mewas the question. My aunt was too old, and devoted to the card-tableand her little _coterie_, to attend me to balls, routs, and dinnerparties. Sir Robert had now given up even the appearance of civility tohis wife, and lived in a distant county with another woman: but therewas the widow of a brother of Sir Robert's, whom I had occasionallyvisited with my aunt, whose circle of acquaintance was much larger,and very different from hers. My aunt went round to about a dozenhouses, while Mrs. Meridith visited all who lived at the west end ofthe town, and was intimate with but a very few: to he
r therefore I wasconsigned to see the world, which, in the meaning they attach to it, isto dance at several balls, dine at different houses, yet mostly meetthe same company; and be able to speak of the merits and demerits ofthe principal performers at both theatres, and at the opera house; yetin this I was to be careful not to deviate from the general opinion,lest I should be called singular, and positively to know nothing. A fewnoblemen's ladies, or their titled daughters, might venture to differ intheir likes and dislikes; but such an avowal would not do for me, whowas only a commoner."
Mr. Campbell smiled at these distinctions, and began to hope the recitalof their friend would not cost her all the anguish he had apprehended,since she could so cheerfully speak of her introduction to them.
Anna laughed, and said, "I hope I shall never be introduced to theworld, for I should make a terrible figure in it; I have never been toboarding-school, you know, Mamma."
"True, my dear," returned Mrs. Meridith, "but the lessons you alludeto are easily learnt without going there. I found them daily practisedin the society I was in, and yet Mrs. Meridith was what was called anamiable woman, and, for so young a widow, remarkably strict in herconduct. She had one son, whom I had not yet seen, as he was then atcollege; but after I was so much at his mother's (for the eveningparties to which I constantly accompanied her were so much later thanmy aunt's, that she allowed me to take up my residence there when wewere in town,) he came home at the vacations, and I was introduced tohim; and this Mr. Meridith, you will readily suppose, was afterwards myhusband. But as my marriage will lead me into far different scenes, Ishall, if you please, defer them till some other evening. You must be astired of hearing as I am of relating those circumstances which,--howevernew they may be to you, are old and stale to me; and I am sick of whatis called a knowledge of the world."
"And so, dear Madam, should I," replied Mr. Campbell; "but I cannot helpacknowledging that we have too much of it in our little village, thoughin a humbler way. Human nature is the same every where, and a deceitfulheart the characteristic which the word of God has given to man; we neednot, therefore, go to London, or the great world, to find it out, unlessour eyes are shut to what is going on within ourselves."
Supper was then ordered, and Mr. Campbell with great pleasure told Mrs.Meridith the alteration her last conversation with farmer Ward had madein his conduct towards himself.
"He has told me all," said he, "and with that ingenuousness, which Ifear is not to be met with in the circles you have described to us,acknowledged himself wrong."
"In that respect," said Mrs. Meridith, "people belonging to lesspolished society have the advantage, for they are not ashamed to ownthemselves mistaken when they really feel they are so; while more politeones never will."