Lulu came running in. 'What's going on here? What are you animals up to now? Blackcat, you're all covered in mud and, and, and...Yuck! Pterodactyl poo!' She said, scrunching up her face in disgust as she had a taste.
'And what have you done to your wings?' she scolded, picking the coloured pens off the floor and making him a new set.
Chapter 8 - The Moon is made of Cheese
Blackcat and the Penguins sat on the window sill in Louise’s room watching the clouds scudding past a bright full moon.
It’s made of cheese,' said Blackcat, 'And you know what cheese means?'
Cheese means what?' replied P1.
'Cheese means mice,' said Blackcat.
'So you think the moon is made of cheese and populated with mice?' said P2.
'Exactly and the craters are where the mice have eaten the cheese. The mice taste delicious, soft and crunchy with just a hint of nuttiness from the Leerdammer.'
'Not,' said P2.
'Not?' said Blackcat.
'Not!' said P1 and P2.
'Not what?' said Blackcat.
'Not cheese, not mice,' said P2.
'The moon is made of ice,' explained P1, ' And the round circles are pools of melt water full of anchovies.'
'Not,' said Blackcat.
'Too,' said P1 and P2.
'Mice.'
'Anchovies.'
'Mice.'
'Anchovies.'
'Mice.'
'Anchovies.'
'Mice.'
'We could go there,' said P1.
'Can’t,' said Blackcat.
'Can.'
'Can’t.'
'Can.'
'Can’t.'
'Can.'
'Can’t.'
'CAN TOO!' exclaimed P2, stomping his wee feet. 'The penguins that live on the ice berg in the living room who watch tele all day say that the Americans are going there.'
'Well, what are we waiting for?' said Blackcat. 'Let’s go!'
He jumped off the window sill, did a quick circuit of the room and shot off into the night sky, the Penguins in hot pursuit.
They flew across the Pacific, the clouds underneath looking like a big fluffy rug in the moonlight. Arriving at Cape Canaveral they could see a hive of activity around a tall, sleek rocket. Three astronauts were walking across to the rocket carrying their space helmets. One of them carried a pink teddy bear in the other hand, another, a small bonsai tree and the third a little frame with steel balls on strings which banged together as he walked. Blackcat and the Penguins watched as the men climbed into an elevator and were lifted up to the top level of the rocket where a gangway lead across to a small door in the rocket.
'Cosmonauts,' said P1.
'Astronauts,' said P2.
'Cosmonauts.'
'Astronauts.'
'Not,' said P1.
'Are too.'
'Oh, stop that,' said Blackcat. 'Quick, quick, the door is closing!'
They flew up and shot in the door just as it closed shut with a whoosh.
The Astronauts were busy preparing themselves for takeoff. Blackcat and the Penguins flew around the cabin looking for a good hiding place. The cabin was all smooth surfaces and functional design with no little nooks or crannies to hide in. Blackcat had an idea. He swooped down and landed under the little Bonsai tree, which the astronaut had stuck down to the main control panel with Velcro. When P1 and P2 joined him they looked like little gnomes under the tree.
From where they were they could see everything, all the controls and dials, the whole cabin, where the astronauts were busy strapping themselves into their seats, and out the window where there was just a hint of dawn creeping across the night sky.
'T minus 5 minutes,' said a woman’s voice, making them all jump. They were right next to the speaker for the radio link with mission control.
'T minus 4…minus 3…minus 2…minus 1…50 seconds…40…30 seconds and counting…20 check all systems…17..16..15..14..13..12..11..10..9..8..7..6..5..4..3..2..1..ignition…lift off.
There was a mighty roar and the rocket shook and vibrated but nothing seemed to happen, it just stood there. Then slowly they could feel their legs getting heavy as the rocket lifted off and shot into the sky.
'Look, there’s Blackcat and the Penguins!' exclaimed Zozo, who was watching the lift off on tele. They always seemed to pop up in odd places. The week before Mum had found them in the washing machine and last month they had been bobbing around in the toilet...Yuck! She fetched Mariana from the bedroom and placed her by the sofa where she could see the TV.
Out of the window Blackcat could see stars and sky. As the rocket got higher the stars got brighter and brighter. On one of the TV screens they could see the Earth getting smaller and smaller as the rocket sped away towards the Moon.
P1 felt himself becoming lighter until he had the same weightless sensation he had under the sea. He gave a little hop just to see if he really weighed nothing and off he floated across the cockpit!
'Look, there goes a Penguin,' said the astronaut with ‘Buzz’ written across his spacesuit. He was the one who had bought the pink teddy bear along. Gregorio, Mr Bonzai Tree, reached up and grabbed P1 and planted him firmly back in the soil at the base of the tree. 'Now you stay there, little Penguin,' he said to P1 then turning to Buzz added, 'My kids must have put them there. They're off on a bit of an adventure!'
'What was that?' said the woman’s voice from Mission Control.
'Just a penguin floating by,' said Gregorio.
Back at home Sam had found the NASA site and everyone was crowded around the computer in the living room watching the cockpit monitor on MM3, Moon Mission 3.
'Look there goes Blackcat,' said Lulu as Blackcat spun across the cockpit and bounced off the ceiling. He drifted back towards the control panel and ‘Click’ hit a green joystick. The rocket veered sharply to the right, cupboards flew open and stuff flew everywhere. There was a flurry of radio talk and the astronauts grabbed for the controls.
'Ooops,' said Lulu, 'That Blackcat is always in trouble.'
Once the spacecraft was back on course and all the space spaghetti and zero gravity toilet paper tucked away, Blackcat and the Penguins found themselves stuck down to the console with strong goop next to the gyro controller. They quite missed the little Bonsai Tree. It was comforting standing under its twisted branches. It had that same wise feel about it as Mariana had. They could still see it thought but it did look a little odd velcroed to the ceiling. It was more than Gregorio could bear and soon it was back in its original position.
'Faaarrrrt!'
'Who farted?' demanded Neil.
‘Faaaaaaaa-rrr-tttttt,’ it happened again and Buzz looked rather sheepish.
'Fong Oh!' said Neil.
‘Pluuuuu-oooooo-ooooo-up,’ came another fart.
'It’s the zero gravity,' pleaded Buzz. 'I just can't help it.'
Soon all three astronauts were at it and started up a chorus.
'What’s that funny music?' demanded Mission Control.
'Space Music,' said Buzz.
'Space What? Say again.'
'Space-' BRING! BRING! BRING! The gas alarm sounded before Buzz could finish his sentence.
There was a hiss of air as the computer automatically changed the air in the cockpit.
Back home, everyone had gone to bed. Mariana stood where Zozo had placed her in front of the computer and watched Space TV. The rest of the penguins and a couple of polar bears sat beside her, bathed in the blue light watching the astronauts farting. The alarms went off, the air system hissed and Mission Control wondered what on earth was going on.
Neil was playing with his bally thing. He told Buzz that his son had given it to him to bring along but it seemed to Blackcat that it was really his toy. With the zero gravity and the nasty lurch to the right the balls had all gone round in circles and tied themselves in a knot. While he was untangling it he had a brilliant idea - The little cat with the wings and the two penguins could be thei
r mascots. Buzz had bought his daughter’s pink teddy along for a walk on the moon but it was a bit girly like, the cat and the penguins would be much better. He rummaged about in the rubbish tin and found some empty zero gravity drink containers. They were just like clear plastic bubbles. They came in all sizes so he found two of the smallest for P1 and P2, and the next size up for Blackcat. He cleaned them out and placed the little bubbles over P1, P2 and Blackcats' heads as space helmets. In the spares for the micro machines he found some small air bottles and tubing and rigged these up with some little straps like scuba tanks. Now Blackcat and the Penguins looked the part.
As the rocket speed away from the Earth, the Moon grew and grew until after three days it filled the whole of the window looking like a giant Leerdammer cheese. The rocket went into orbit around the Moon then slowly descended down to the lunar surface, a short blast on the boosters giving them a soft landing on the edge of a big crater.
'Cheese,' whispered Blackcat.
'Anchovies,' said P1 and 2.
Neil unstuck the Penguins and Blackcat from the console and carefully gooped them down on top of the mini Lunar Rover. The Astronauts suited up carefully and put their helmets on, then taking the rover with them went out through the airlock and stepped down onto the surface of the Moon. The men bounced around playing in the low gravity. Gregorio did a flip in the low gravity and Neil kicked a football so far that it vanished down into the depths of the crater. With no atmosphere the moon was very, very quiet. P1, P2 and Blackcat couldn’t hear anything.
Neil put the mini rover down and took some photos of it with the mascots, getting down low so he could get the Earth in the background. He flicked a little switch on the bottom of the rover and off it went across the surface of the moon, dodging rocks as it went.
As soon as he was out of sight of the Astronauts, Blackcat pulled one of the hoses off his air bottle and stuck it into P1’s mask and connected one of P1’s hoses onto P2. Now they could talk.
'Anchovies,' said P2
'Not anchovies, not cheese, not mice,' said Blackcat. 'This is serious. The rover is controlled from Earth and is heading off on a mission, a ONE WAY mission. We need to get back to the rocket.'
'We have to find the anchovies first,' said P2, who couldn’t take anything seriously. He quite liked the idea of staying on the Moon and eating anchovies. Eating delicious anchovies and being well away from Zozo, Louise and the dog, that menace of a Cabo had a least three penguins floating around inside him.
'Not Anchovies, Cheeeese,' said Blackcat, lightening up a little. 'First we need to get unstuck.'
As if on cue, the rover crashed into a rock and Blackcat and the Penguins flew over the top and landed in the dust.
'Dust!' exclaimed P2, sounding a little disappointed.
'Dust,' said Blackcat, 'but not just any dust. This is Space dust that has built up over the millennia on the surface of the Moon. The cheese is underneath.'
'Quick,' said P1, 'the rovers getting away.'
And it was. They ran after it and jumped on. The little camera swung around towards them. Black cat stuck a bit of goop on the lens and said, 'We've got to get control of this thing.'
'Easy,' said P2 and reached over and snapped off an antenna with his beak.
The rover stopped and our little explorers jumped off and explored the area around it. Blackcat collected a few rocks and some dust and put them in his special bag. He dug a little hole but no cheese, no ice, no anchovies, just more dust. Where were all the mice? They might be all in hiding but there should be a least a few paw prints and a little mouse dropping or two.
P1 and P2 went over to the edge of the crater. They looked a bit glum. Maybe the crater wasn’t a puddle of saltwater full of anchovies. It was all a bit of a letdown. Like going to heaven and finding that the only coffee was instant and the chocolate was milky bar.
Blackcat went back over to the rover and pulled off the panel covering the controls. He took the wires off the antenna input unit and found that by touching them together he could make the rover go forward, backwards, left and right. If he touched the little pink wire to the blue an arm came out and took a sample of the Moon’s surface.
The Penguins jumped up and they motored off up a big hill. From the top was a great view across the surface of the Moon to the rocket. Planet Earth hovered just above the horizon. Let’s head back this way,' said P2 pointing his flipper towards a pile of rocks.
As they motored along, Blackcat stopped occasionally to take a sample.
'After all,' he said, 'we are on a scientific expedition.'
When they reached the rocks Blackcat took another sample then jumped down and collected some rocks. He banged a couple together and one split in half. P2 picked up one of the halves, looked at it and did a little jig.
'What?' asked Blackcat.
'Anchovies,' said P2
Sure enough, inside the rock was a fossil of an anchovy!
They collected some more rocks then headed back toward the rocket. The Astronauts had finished their experiments, climbed back into the rocket and were preparing for lift off.
'T minus 3 minutes,' said the voice from Mission Control.
'Looks like they are going,' said Blackcat. 'I wish this rover would go faster!'
'T minus 2…T minus 1…50 seconds…40 seconds…30 seconds and counting.'
Blackcat thought he saw something move out of the corner of his eye. Being a cat he knew just what it was. It moved again. It was a MOUSE!
'20…19…18…17...'
He couldn’t stop now the rocket could take off at any moment. He speed over the mouse tracks and headed toward the spaceship.
'12…11…10…9…8...'
Blackcat reached into his bag, pulled out a rock and threw it. It flew along way and…
'4…3…2…CLUNK!'
'What was THAT?' said Gregorio, 'ABORT! ABORT!'
CLUNK! CLUNK! A couple more rocks hit the rocket.
The door of the rocket slid open and Gregorio hopped down in his spacesuit and picked up the little rover, Blackcat and the Penguins.
A few minutes later the rocket blasted off heading for Planet Earth. Once the rocket was on course and everything stowed and shipshape Gregorio, Buzz and Neil had some time to examine the little rover. Something odd was going on. Something very odd was going on. Never mind the broken rover finding its way back, who threw the rocks?
They decided that the less said about it the better and from their spot stuck down with goop to the control panel, Blackcat, P1 and P2 tended to agree.
Chapter 9 - Stuck on Mars
Blackcat and the Penguins had a good view of what was going on. They even got a glimpse out the window. The trouble was that their view was upside down. Since returning from the moon they had been stuck at home.
Zoe and Louise had blue-tacked Blackcat and the Penguins to the solar system that hung from the ceiling in their room. At first they had stuck them to the little ping pong ball of a moon that orbited Earth. Unfortunately the extra weight had sent Earth spinning out of orbit and the whole solar system had gone skew whiff. After colliding with Jupiter the moon had fallen to the floor and in no time was being chewed and scrunched in the powerful jaws of Cabo, the guide dog puppy.
Once Cabo had been caught and they had been extracted from the gooey, smelly and very toothy insides of his mouth, Blackcat and the Penguins ended up superglued upside-down on Mars, with their bright red toilet roll rocket parked next to them.
After a few weeks P1 said, 'I’m sick of space travel.'
'Me too!' agreed P2.
The excitement of going to the moon had worn off and they had began to dream of Penguiny things; of sitting on ice flows and chasing herrings and squid, yummy bite sized squid, all squidgy tentacles and black ink.
Blackcat usually found that patience was the best policy but after 3 months of listening to the Penguins squabbling about herrings and anchovies he was ready for a change.
He
called down to Mariana, the cripple, who was standing on Zoe’s desk, 'Help! Mariana, will you rescue us?'
'No!' she said, 'I’m enjoying having you at home.'
'I’m not at home. I’m stuck on Mars!'
'Oh, all right then, I’ll get you down.'
That night, splat! A gooey whatsit stuck to Mars. It must have been something disgusting that Cabo had bought in as it smelled of rotten meat and cat poo.
'It stinks,' exclaimed Blackcat, 'Yuck!'
'Just how is a smelly, horrible whatsit going to get us down?' asked P1.
'Just wait,' piped Mariana’s voice out of the darkness below.
The next day was hot and as the temperature rose, so did the odour, from bad smell to pong, and as things got hotter again, to pongy yuck . Then the flies arrived, big black and blue bluebottles, Bizzzzz, Buzzzz. They flew on a close orbit then landed on the surface of Mars.
Buzz, Buzz, Crash, Bang, and Splat!
Swipe, Swish, Smash, and Bash! Sam and his friend Jake were coming down the corridor on a mission to chase the flies out of the house. Armed with rolled up newspapers truncheons they swung at flies, sisters, planets, each other; in fact anything that got in their path.
Swish, Bash, Splat, Earth’s ping pong ball moon ricocheted around the room.
Boff, Pluto turned into a rain of polystyrene.
Buzzzzz a fly buzzed around and landed on Mars.
Swish, Wham, Splat! Mars exploded.
P1, P2, Blackcat and their rocket somersaulted across the room and landed at Mariana’s feet.
Wiping squashed fly off his coat, Blackcat said, 'Thanks Mariana. You're the best!'
Chapter 10 - Blackcat gets wet feet
Blackcat loved herrings, sardines, anchovies and pilchards.
Blackcat didn’t like getting his feet wet; not rain, not puddles and definitely not the sea.
He had never been swimming, not even put a paw into the sea.
Apart from his misadventures with the washing machine, the toilet and the muddy puddle in Australia, he had been wet just once, when Zoe put him in her jar with the hammerheads.
He never intended to get wet again, nor meet another hammerhead.