CHAPTER ELEVEN
DESCRIPTION OF A MODERN MAGISTRATE.
Before the knight would take any resolution for extricating himself fromhis present embarrassment, he desired to be better acquainted with thecharacter and circumstances of the justice by whom he had been confined,and likewise to understand the meaning of his own detention. To beinformed in this last particular, he renewed his dialogue with theturnkey, who told him through the grate, that Ferret no sooner perceivedhim in the jail without his offensive arms, which he had left below, thanhe desired to be carried before the justice, where he had giveninformation against the knight, as a violator of the public peace, whostrolled about the country with unlawful arms, rendering the highwaysunsafe, encroaching upon the freedom of elections, putting his majesty'sliege subjects in fear of their lives, and, in all probability,harbouring more dangerous designs under an affected cloak of lunacy.Ferret, upon this information, had been released, and entertained as anevidence for the King; and Crabshaw was put into the stocks, as an idlestroller.
Sir Launcelot, being satisfied in these particulars, addressed himself tohis fellow-prisoners, and begged they would communicate what they knewrespecting the worthy magistrate, who had been so premature in theexecution of his office. This request was no sooner signified, than acrew of naked wretches crowded around him, and, like a congregation ofrooks, opened their throats all at once, in accusation of Justice Gobble.The knight was moved at this scene, which he could not help comparing, inhis own mind, to what would appear upon a much more awful occasion, whenthe cries of the widow and the orphan, the injured and oppressed, wouldbe uttered at the tribunal of an unerring Judge, against the villanousand insolent authors of their calamity.
When he had, with some difficulty, quieted their clamours, and confinedhis interrogation to one person of a tolerably decent appearance, helearned, that Justice Gobble, whose father was a tailor, had for sometime served as a journeyman hosier in London, where he had picked up somelaw terms, by conversing with hackney writers and attorneys' clerks ofthe lowest order; that, upon the death of his master, he had insinuatedhimself into the good graces of the widow, who took him for her husband,so that he became a person of some consideration, and saved money apace;that his pride, increasing with his substance, was reinforced by thevanity of his wife, who persuaded him to retire from business, that theymight live genteelly in the country; that his father dying, and leaving acouple of houses in this town, Mr. Gobble had come down with his lady totake possession, and liked the place so well, as to make a moreconsiderable purchase in the neighbourhood; that a certain peer beingindebted to him in the large way of his business, and either unable orunwilling to pay the money, had compounded the debt, by inserting hisname in the commission; since which period his own insolence, and hiswife's ostentation, had exceeded all bounds; that, in the execution ofhis authority, he had committed a thousand acts of cruelty and injusticeagainst the poorer sort of people, who were unable to call him to aproper account; that his wife domineered with a more ridiculous, thoughless pernicious usurpation, among the females of the place; that, in aword, she was the subject of continual mirth, and he the object ofuniversal detestation.
Our adventurer, though extremely well disposed to believe what was saidto the prejudice of Gobble, would not give entire credit to thisdescription, without first inquiring into the particulars of his conduct.He therefore asked the speaker, what was the cause of his particularcomplaint. "For my own part, sir," said he, "I lived in repute, and kepta shop in this here town, well furnished with a great variety ofarticles. All the people in the place were my customers; but what I andmany others chiefly depended upon, was the extraordinary sale at twoannual customary fairs, to which all the country people in theneighbourhood resorted to lay out their money. I had employed all mystock, and even engaged my credit, to procure a large assortment of goodsfor the Lammas market; but, having given my vote in the election of avestry-clerk, contrary to the interest of Justice Gobble, he resolved towork my ruin. He suppressed the annual fairs, by which a great manypeople, especially publicans, earned the best part of their subsistence.The country people resorted to another town. I was overstocked with aload of perishable commodities, and found myself deprived of the bestpart of my home customers, by the ill-nature and revenge of the justice,who employed all his influence among the common people, making use ofthreats and promises, to make them desert my shop, and give their customto another person, whom he settled in the same business under my nose.Being thus disabled from making punctual payments, my commoditiesspoiling, and my wife breaking her heart, I grew negligent and careless,took to drinking, and my affairs went to wreck. Being one day in liquor,and provoked by the fleers and taunts of the man who had set up againstme, I struck him at his own door; upon which I was carried before thejustice, who treated me with such insolence, that I became desperate, andnot only abused him in the execution of his office, but also made anattempt to lay violent hands upon his person. You know, sir, when a manis both drunk and desperate, he cannot be supposed to have any command ofhimself. I was sent hither to jail. My creditors immediately seized myeffects; and, as they were not sufficient to discharge my debts, astatute of bankruptcy was taken out against me; so that here I must lie,until they think proper to sign my certificate, or the parliament shallplease to pass an act for the relief of insolvent debtors."
The next person who presented himself in the crowd of accusers was ameagre figure, with a green apron, who told the knight that he had kept apublic-house in town for a dozen years, and enjoyed a good trade, whichwas in a great measure owing to a skittle-ground, in which the bestpeople of the place diverted themselves occasionally. That JusticeGobble, being disobliged at his refusing to part with a gelding which hehad bred for his own use, first of all shut up the skittle-ground; but,finding the publican still kept his house open, he took care that heshould be deprived of his licence, on pretence that the number ofale-houses was too great, and that this man had been bred to anotheremployment. The poor publican being thus deprived of his bread, wasobliged to try the staymaking business, to which he had served anapprenticeship; but being very ill qualified for this profession, he soonfell to decay and contracted debts, in consequence of which he was now inprison, where he had no other support but what arose from the labour ofhis wife, who had gone to service.
The next prisoner who preferred his complaint against the unrighteousjudge was a poacher, at whose practices Justice Gobble had for some yearsconnived, so as even to screen him from punishment, in consideration ofbeing supplied with game gratis, till at length he was disappointed byaccident. His lady had invited guests to an entertainment, and bespoke ahare, which the poacher undertook to furnish. He laid his snaresaccordingly overnight, but they were discovered, and taken away by thegamekeeper of the gentleman to whom the ground belonged. All the excusesthe poacher could make proved ineffectual in appeasing the resentment ofthe justice and his wife at being thus disconcerted. Measures were takento detect the delinquent in the exercise of his illicit occupation; hewas committed to safe custody, and his wife, with five bantlings, waspassed to her husband's settlement in a different part of the country.
A stout squat fellow, rattling with chains, had just taken up the ball ofaccusation, when Sir Launcelot was startled with the appearance of awoman, whose looks and equipage indicated the most piteous distress. Sheseemed to be turned of the middle age, was of a lofty carriage, tall,thin, weather-beaten, and wretchedly attired; her eyes were inflamed withweeping, and her looks displayed that wildness and peculiarity whichdenote distraction. Advancing to Sir Launcelot, she fell upon her knees,and, clasping her hands together, uttered the following rhapsody in themost vehement tone of affliction:--
"Thrice potent, generous, and august emperor; here let my knees cleave tothe earth, until thou shalt do me justice on that inhuman caitiff Gobble.Let him disgorge my substance which he hath devoured; let him restore tomy widowed arms my child, my boy, the delight of my eyes, the prop of mylife,
the staff of my sustenance, whom he hath torn from my embrace,stolen, betrayed, sent into captivity, and murdered! Behold thesebleeding wounds upon his lovely breast! see how they mangle his lifelesscorse! Horror! give me my child, barbarians! his head shall lie upon hisSuky's bosom--she will embalm him with her tears. Ha! plunge him in thedeep!--shall my boy then float in a watery tomb? Justice, most mightyemperor! justice upon the villain who hath ruined us all! May Heaven'sdreadful vengeance overtake him! may the keen storm of adversity striphim of all his leaves and fruit! may peace forsake his mind, and rest bebanished from his pillow, so that all his days shall be filled withreproach and sorrow, and all his nights be haunted with horror andremorse! may he be stung by jealousy without cause, and maddened byrevenge without the means of execution! may all his offspring be blightedand consumed, like the mildewed ears of corn, except one that shall growup to curse his old age, and bring his hoary head with sorrow to thegrave, as he himself has proved a curse to me and mine!"
The rest of the prisoners, perceiving the knight extremely shocked at hermisery and horrid imprecation, removed her by force from his presence,and conveyed her to another room; while our adventurer underwent aviolent agitation, and could not for some minutes compose himself so wellas to inquire into the nature of this wretched creature's calamity.
The shopkeeper, of whom he demanded this satisfaction, gave him tounderstand that she was born a gentlewoman, and had been well educated;that she married a curate, who did not long survive his nuptials, andafterwards became the wife of one Oakley, a farmer in opulentcircumstances. That after twenty years' cohabitation with her husband,he sustained such losses by the distemper among the cattle, as he couldnot repair; and that this reverse of fortune was supposed to havehastened his death. That the widow, being a woman of spirit, determinedto keep up and manage the farm, with the assistance of an only son, avery promising youth, who was already contracted in marriage with thedaughter of another wealthy farmer. Thus the mother had a prospect ofretrieving the affairs of her family, when all her hopes were dashed anddestroyed by a ridiculous pique which Mrs. Gobble conceived against theyoung farmer's sweetheart, Mrs. Susan Sedgemoor.
This young woman chancing to be at a country assembly, where thegravedigger of the parish acted as master of the ceremonies, was calledout to dance before Miss Gobble, who happened to be there present alsowith her mother. The circumstance was construed into an unpardonableaffront by the justice's lady, who abused the director in the mostopprobrious terms for his insolence and ill manners; and retiring in astorm of passion, vowed revenge against the saucy minx who had presumedto vie in gentility with Miss Gobble. The justice entered into herresentment. The gravedigger lost his place; and Suky's lover, youngOakley, was pressed for a soldier. Before his mother could take anysteps for his discharge, he was hurried away to the East Indies, by theindustry and contrivance of the justice. Poor Suky wept and pined untilshe fell into a consumption. The forlorn widow, being thus deprived ofher son, was overwhelmed with grief to such a degree, that she could nolonger manage her concerns. Everything went backwards; she ran inarrears with her landlord; and the prospect of bankruptcy aggravated heraffliction, while it added to her incapacity. In the midst of thesedisastrous circumstances, news arrived that her son Greaves had lost hislife in a sea engagement with the enemy; and these tidings almostinstantly deprived her of reason. Then the landlord seized for his rent,and she was arrested at the suit of Justice Gobble, who had bought up oneof her debts in order to distress her, and now pretended that her madnesswas feigned.
When the name of Greaves was mentioned, our adventurer started andchanged colour; and, now the story was ended, asked, with marks of eageremotion, if the name of the woman's first husband was not Wilford. Whenthe prisoner answered in the affirmative, he rose up, and striking hisbreast, "Good heaven!" cried he, "the very woman who watched over myinfancy, and even nourished me with her milk! She was my mother's humblefriend. Alas! poor Dorothy! how would your old mistress grieve to seeher favourite in this miserable condition." While he pronounced thesewords, to the astonishment of the hearers, a tear stole softly down eachcheek. Then he desired to know if the poor lunatic had any intervals ofreason; and was given to understand that she was always quiet, andgenerally supposed to have the use of her senses, except when she wasdisturbed by some extraordinary noise, or when any person touched uponher misfortune, or mentioned the name of her oppressor, in all whichcases she started out into extravagance and frenzy. They likewiseimputed great part of the disorder to the want of quiet, proper food, andnecessaries, with which she was but poorly supplied by the cold hand ofchance charity. Our adventurer was exceedingly affected by the distressof this woman, whom he resolved to relieve; and in proportion as hiscommiseration was excited, his resentment rose against the miscreant, whoseemed to have insinuated himself into the commission of the peace onpurpose to harass and oppress his fellow-creatures.
Thus animated, he entered into consultation with Mr. Thomas Clarkeconcerning the steps he should take, first for their deliverance, andthen for prosecuting and punishing the justice. In result of thisconference, the knight called aloud for the jailor, and demanded to see acopy of his commitment, that he might know the cause of his imprisonment,and offer bail; or, in case that he should be refused, move for a writ ofHabeas Corpus. The jailor told him the copy of the writ should beforthcoming. But after he had waited some time, and repeated the demandbefore witnesses, it was not yet produced. Mr. Clarke then, in a solemntone, gave the jailor to understand, that an officer refusing to delivera true copy of the commitment warrant was liable to the forfeiture of onehundred pounds for the first offence, and for the second to a forfeitureof twice that sum, besides being disabled from executing his office.
Indeed, it was no easy matter to comply with Sir Launcelot's demand; forno warrant had been granted, nor was it now in the power of the justiceto remedy this defect, as Mr. Ferret had taken himself away privately,without having communicated the name and designation of the prisoner. Acircumstance the more mortifying to the jailor, as he perceived theextraordinary respect which Mr. Clarke and the captain paid to theknight, and was now fully convinced that he would be dealt with accordingto law. Disordered with these reflections, he imparted them to thejustice, who had in vain caused search to be made for Ferret, and was nowextremely well inclined to set the knight and his friends at liberty,though he did not at all suspect the quality and importance of ouradventurer. He could not, however, resist the temptation of displayingthe authority of his office, and therefore ordered the prisoners to bebrought before his tribunal, that, in the capacity of a magistrate, hemight give them a severe reproof, and proper caution with respect totheir future behaviour.
They were accordingly led through the street in procession, guarded bythe constable and his gang, followed by Crabshaw, who had by this timebeen released from the stocks, and surrounded by a crowd of people,attracted by curiosity. When they arrived at the justice's house, theywere detained for some time in the passage; then a voice was heard,commanding the constable to bring in the prisoners, and they wereintroduced to the hall of audience, where Mr. Gobble sat in judgment,with a crimson velvet night-cap on his head; and on his right handappeared his lady, puffed up with the pride and insolence of herhusband's office, fat, frouzy, and not over-clean, well stricken inyears, without the least vestige of an agreeable feature, having arubicund nose, ferret eyes, and imperious aspect. The justice himselfwas a little, affected, pert prig, who endeavoured to solemnise hiscountenance by assuming an air of consequence, in which pride, impudence,and folly were strangely blended. He aspired at nothing so much as thecharacter of an able spokesman; and took all opportunities of holdingforth at vestry and quarter sessions, as well as in the administration ofhis office in private. He would not, therefore, let slip this occasionof exciting the admiration of his hearers, and, in an authoritative tone,thus addressed our adventurer:--
"The laws of this land has provided--I says as how provision
is made bythe laws of this here land, in reverence to delinquems and malefactors,whereby the king's peace is upholden by we magistrates, who representshis majesty's person, better than in e'er a contagious nation under thesun; but, howsomever, that there king's peace, and this here magistrate'sauthority cannot be adequably and identically upheld, if so be as howcriminals escapes unpunished. Now, friend, you must be confidentious inyour own mind, as you are a notorious criminal, who have trespassed againthe laws on divers occasions and importunities; if I had a mind toexercise the rigour of the law, according to the authority wherewith I amwested, you and your companions in iniquity would be sewerely punished bythe statue; but we magistrates has a power to litigate the sewerity ofjustice, and so I am contented that you should be mercifully dealtwithal, and even dismissed."
To this harangue the knight replied, with a solemn and deliberate accent,"If I understand your meaning aright, I am accused of being a notoriouscriminal; but nevertheless you are contented to let me escape withimpunity. If I am a notorious criminal, it is the duty of you, as amagistrate, to bring me to condign punishment; and if you allow acriminal to escape unpunished, you are not only unworthy of a place inthe commission, but become accessory to his guilt, and, to all intentsand purposes, socius criminis. With respect to your proffered mercy, Ishall decline the favour; nor do I deserve any indulgence at your hands,for, depend upon it, I shall show no mercy to you in the steps I intendto take for bringing you to justice. I understand that you have beenlong hackneyed in the ways of oppression, and I have seen some livingmonuments of your inhumanity--of that hereafter. I myself have beendetained in prison, without cause assigned. I have been treated withindignity, and insulted by jailors and constables; led through thestreets like a felon, as a spectacle to the multitude; obliged to danceattendance in your passage, and afterwards branded with the name ofnotorious criminal.--I now demand to see the information in consequenceof which I was detained in prison, the copy of the warrant of commitmentor detainer, and the face of the person by whom I was accused. I insistupon a compliance with these demands, as the privileges of a Britishsubject; and if it is refused, I shall seek redress before a highertribunal."
The justice seemed to be not a little disturbed at this peremptorydeclaration; which, however, had no other effect upon his wife, but thatof enraging her choler, and inflaming her countenance. "Sirrah! sirrah!"cried she, "do you dares to insult a worshipful magistrate on the bench?--Can you deny that you are a vagram, and a dilatory sort of a person?Han't the man with the satchel made an affidavy of it?--If I was myhusband, I'd lay you fast by the heels for your resumption, and ferk youwith a priminery into the bargain, unless you could give a better accountof yourself--I would."
Gobble, encouraged by this fillip, resumed his petulance, and proceededin this manner:--"Hark ye, friend, I might, as Mrs. Gobble very justlyobserves, trounce you for your audacious behaviour; but I scorn to takesuch advantages. Howsomever, I shall make you give an account ofyourself and your companions; for I believes as how you are in a gang,and all in a story, and perhaps you may be found one day in a cord.--Whatare you, friend? What is your station and degree?"--"I am a gentleman,"replied the knight.--"Ay, that is English for a sorry fellow," said thejustice. "Every idle vagabond, who has neither home nor habitation,trade nor profession, designs himself a gentleman. But I must know howyou live?"--"Upon my means."--"What are your means?"--"My estate.""Whence does it arise?"--"From inheritance."--"Your estate lies in brass,and that you have inherited from nature; but do you inherit lands andtenements?"--"Yes."--"But they are neither here nor there, I doubt.Come, come, friend, I shall bring you about presently." Here theexamination was interrupted by the arrival of Mr. Fillet the surgeon, whochancing to pass, and seeing a crowd about the door, went in to satisfyhis curiosity.