CHAPTER THREE
WHICH THE READER, ON PERUSAL, MAY WISH WERE CHAPTER THE LAST.
The doctor prescribed a repetatur of the julep, and mixed theingredients, secundum artem; Tom Clarke hemmed thrice, to clear hispipes; while the rest of the company, including Dolly and her mother, whohad by this time administered to the knight, composed themselves intoearnest and hushed attention. Then the young lawyer began his narrativeto this effect:--
"I tell ye what, gemmen, I don't pretend in this here case to flourishand harangue like a--having never been called to--but what of that, d'yesee? perhaps I may know as much as--facts are facts, as the saying is.--Ishall tell, repeat, and relate a plain story--matters of fact, d'ye see,without rhetoric, oratory, ornament, or embellishment; withoutrepetition, tautology, circumlocution, or going about the bush; factswhich I shall aver, partly on the testimony of my own knowledge, andpartly from the information of responsible evidences of good repute andcredit, any circumstance known to the contrary notwithstanding.--For asthe law saith, if so be as how there is an exception to evidence, thatexception is in its nature but a denial of what is taken to be good bythe other party, and exceptio in non exceptis, firmat regulam, d'ye see.--But howsomever, in regard to this here affair, we need not be soscrupulous as if we were pleading before a judge sedente curia."
Ferret, whose curiosity was rather more eager than that of any otherperson in this audience, being provoked by this preamble, dashed the pipehe had just filled in pieces against the grate; and after havingpronounced the interjection pish! with an acrimony of aspect altogetherpeculiar to himself, "If," said he, "impertinence and folly were felonyby the statute, there would be no warrant of unexceptionable evidence tohang such an eternal babbler." "Anan, babbler!" cried Tom, reddeningwith passion, and starting up; "I'd have you to know, sir, that I canbite as well as babble; and that, if I am so minded, I can run upon thefoot after my game without being in fault, as the saying is; and, whichis more, I can shake an old fox by the collar."
How far this young lawyer might have proceeded to prove himself staunchon the person of the misanthrope, if he had not been prevented, we shallnot determine; but the whole company were alarmed at his looks andexpressions. Dolly's rosy cheeks assumed an ash colour, while she ranbetween the disputants, crying, "Naay, naay--vor the love of God doan'tthen, doan't then!" But Captain Crowe exerted a parental authority overhis nephew, saying, "Avast, Tom, avast!--Snug's the word--we'll have noboarding, d'ye see.--Haul forward thy chair again, take thy berth, andproceed with thy story in a direct course, without yawing like a Dutchyanky."
Tom, thus tutored, recollected himself, resumed his seat, and, after somepause, plunged at once into the current of narration. "I told youbefore, gemmen, that the gentleman in armour was the only son of SirEverhard Greaves, who possessed a free estate of five thousand a year inour country, and was respected by all his neighbours as much for hispersonal merit as for his family fortune. With respect to his sonLauncelot, whom you have seen, I can remember nothing until he returnedfrom the university, about the age of seventeen, and then I myself wasnot more than ten years old. The young gemman was at that time inmourning for his mother; though, God knows, Sir Everhard had more causeto rejoice than to be afflicted at her death:--for, among friends" (herehe lowered his voice, and looked round the kitchen), "she was verywhimsical, expensive, ill-tempered, and, I'm afraid, a little--upon the--flightly order--a little touched or so;--but mum for that--the lady isnow dead; and it is my maxim, de mortuis nil nisi bonum. The youngsquire was even then very handsome, and looked remarkably well in hisweepers; but he had an awkward air and shambling gait, stooped mortally,and was so shy and silent that he would not look a stranger in the face,nor open his mouth before company. Whenever he spied a horse or carriageat the gate, he would make his escape into the garden, and from thenceinto the park; where many is the good time and often he has been foundsitting under a tree, with a book in his hand, reading Greek, Latin, andother foreign linguas.
"Sir Everhard himself was no great scholar, and my father had forgot hisclassical learning; and so the rector of the parish was desired toexamine young Launcelot. It was a long time before he found anopportunity; the squire always gave him the slip.--At length the parsoncatched him in bed of a morning, and, locking the door, to it they wenttooth and nail. What passed betwixt them the Lord in heaven knows; butwhen the doctor came forth, he looked wild and haggard as if he had seena ghost, his face as white as paper, and his lips trembling like anaspen-leaf. 'Parson,' said the knight, 'what is the matter?--how dostfind my son? I hope he won't turn out a ninny, and disgrace his family?'The doctor, wiping the sweat from his forehead, replied, with somehesitation, 'he could not tell--he hoped the best--the squire was to besure a very extraordinary young gentleman.'--But the father urging him togive an explicit answer, he frankly declared, that, in his opinion, theson would turn out either a mirror of wisdom, or a monument of folly; forhis genius and disposition were altogether preternatural. The knight wassorely vexed at this declaration, and signified his displeasure bysaying, the doctor, like a true priest, dealt in mysteries and oracles,that would admit of different and indeed contrary interpretations. Heafterwards consulted my father, who had served as a steward upon theestate for above thirty years, and acquired a considerable share of hisfavour. 'Will Clarke,' said he, with tears in his eyes, 'what shall I dowith this unfortunate lad? I would to God he had never been born; for Ifear he will bring my grey hairs with sorrow to the grave. When I amgone, he will throw away the estate, and bring himself to infamy andruin, by keeping company with rooks and beggars.--O Will! I could forgiveextravagance in a young man; but it breaks my heart to see my only songive such repeated proofs of a mean spirit and sordid disposition!'
"Here the old gentleman shed a flood of tears, and not without someshadow of reason. By this time Launcelot was grown so reserved to hisfather, that he seldom saw him or any of his relations, except when hewas in a manner forced to appear at table, and there his bashfulnessseemed every day to increase. On the other hand, he had formed some verystrange connexions. Every morning he visited the stable, where he notonly conversed with the grooms and helpers, but scraped acquaintance withthe horses; he fed his favourites with his own hand, stroked, caressed,and rode them by turns; till at last they grew so familiar, that, evenwhen they were a-field at grass, and saw him at a distance, they wouldtoss their manes, whinny like so many colts at sight of the dam, and,galloping up to the place where he stood, smell him all over.
"You must know that I myself, though a child, was his companion in allthese excursions. He took a liking to me on account of my being hisgodson, and gave me more money than I knew what to do with. He hadalways plenty of cash for the asking, as my father was ordered to supplyhim liberally, the knight thinking that a command of money might help toraise his thoughts to a proper consideration of his own importance. Henever could endure a common beggar, that was not either in a state ofinfancy or of old age; but, in other respects, he made the guineas fly insuch a manner, as looked more like madness than generosity. He had nocommunication with your rich yeomen, but rather treated them and theirfamilies with studied contempt, because forsooth they pretended to assumethe dress and manners of the gentry.
"They kept their footmen, their saddle horses, and chaises; their wivesand daughters appeared in their jewels, their silks, and their satins,their negligees and trollopees; their clumsy shanks, like so many shinsof beef, were cased in silk hose and embroidered slippers; their raw redfingers, gross as the pipes of a chamber organ, which had been employedin milking the cows, in twirling the mop or churn-staff, being adornedwith diamonds, were taught to thrum the pandola, and even to touch thekeys of the harpsichord! Nay, in every village they kept a rout, and setup an assembly; and in one place a hog-butcher was master of theceremonies.
"I have heard Mr. Greaves ridicule them for their vanity and awkwardimitation; and therefore, I believe, he avoided all concerns with them,even when they endeavoured
to engage his attention. It was the lowersort of people with whom he chiefly conversed, such as ploughmen,ditchers, and other day-labourers. To every cottager in the parish hewas a bounteous benefactor. He was, in the literal sense of the word, acareful overseer of the poor; for he went from house to house,industriously inquiring into the distresses of the people. He repairedtheir huts, clothed their backs, filled their bellies, and supplied themwith necessaries for exercising their industry and different occupations.
"I'll give you one instance now, as a specimen of his character:--He andI, strolling one day on the side of a common, saw two boys picking hipsand haws from the hedges; one seemed to be about five, and the other ayear older; they were both barefoot and ragged, but at the same time fat,fair, and in good condition. 'Who do you belong to?' said Mr. Greaves.'To Mary Stile,' replied the oldest, 'the widow that rents one of themhousen.' 'And how dost live, my boy? Thou lookest fresh and jolly,'resumed the squire. 'Lived well enough till yesterday,' answered thechild. 'And pray what happened yesterday, my boy?' continued Mr.Greaves. 'Happened!' said he, 'why, mammy had a coople of little Welshkeawes, that gi'en milk enough to fill all our bellies; mammy's, andmine, and Dick's here, and my two little sisters' at hoam:--Yesterday thesquire seized the keawes for rent, God rot'un! Mammy's gone to bed sickand sulky; my two sisters be crying at hoam vor vood; and Dick and I become hither to pick haws and bullies.'
"My godfather's face grew red as scarlet; he took one of the children ineither hand, and leading them towards the house, found Sir Everhardtalking with my father before the gate. Instead of avoiding the oldgentleman, as usual, he brushed up to him with a spirit he had nevershown before, and presenting the two ragged boys, 'Surely, sir,' said he,'you will not countenance that there ruffian, your steward, in oppressingthe widow and fatherless? On pretence of distraining for the rent of acottage, he has robbed the mother of these and other poor infant-orphansof two cows, which afforded them their whole sustenance. Shall you beconcerned in tearing the hard-earned morsel from the mouth of indigence?Shall your name, which has been so long mentioned as a blessing, be nowdetested as a curse by the poor, the helpless, and forlorn? The fatherof these babes was once your gamekeeper, who died of a consumption caughtin your service.--You see they are almost naked--I found them pluckinghaws and sloes, in order to appease their hunger. The wretched mother isstarving in a cold cottage, distracted with the cries of other twoinfants, clamorous for food; and while her heart is bursting with anguishand despair, she invokes Heaven to avenge the widow's cause upon the headof her unrelenting landlord!'
"This unexpected address brought tears into the eyes of the good oldgentleman. 'Will Clarke,' said he to my father, 'how durst you abuse myauthority at this rate? You who know I have always been a protector, notan oppressor of the needy and unfortunate. I charge you, go immediatelyand comfort this poor woman with immediate relief; instead of her owncows, let her have two of the best milch cows of my dairy; they shallgraze in my parks in summer, and be foddered with my hay in winter.--Sheshall sit rent-free for life; and I will take care of these her poororphans.'
"This was a very affecting scene. Mr. Launcelot took his father's handand kissed it, while the tears ran down his cheeks; and Sir Everhardembraced his son with great tenderness, crying, 'My dear boy! God bepraised for having given you such a feeling heart.' My father himselfwas moved, thof a practitioner of the law, and consequently used todistresses.--He declared, that he had given no directions to distrain;and that the bailiff must have done it by his own authority.--'If that bethe case,' said the young squire, 'let the inhuman rascal be turned outof our service.'
"Well, gemmen, all the children were immediately clothed and fed, and thepoor widow had well-nigh run distracted with joy. The old knight, beingof a humane temper himself, was pleased to see such proofs of his son'sgenerosity. He was not angry at his spending his money, but atsquandering away his time among the dregs of the people. For you mustknow, he not only made matches, portioned poor maidens, and set up youngcouples that came together without money; but he mingled in every rusticdiversion, and bore away the prize in every contest. He excelled everyswain of that district in feats of strength and activity; in leaping,running, wrestling, cricket, cudgel-playing, and pitching the bar; andwas confessed to be, out of sight, the best dancer at all wakes andholidays. Happy was the country-girl who could engage the young squireas her partner! To be sure, it was a comely sight for to see as how thebuxom country-lasses, fresh and fragrant and blushing like the rose, intheir best apparel dight, their white hose, and clean short dimitypetticoats, their gaudy gowns of printed cotton; their top-knots andstomachers, bedizened with bunches of ribbons of various colours, green,pink, and yellow; to see them crowned with garlands, and assembled onMayday, to dance before Squire Launcelot, as he made his morning'sprogress through the village. Then all the young peasants made theirappearance with cockades, suited to the fancies of their severalsweethearts, and boughs of flowering hawthorn. The children sportedabout like flocks of frisking lambs, or the young fry swarming under thesunny bank of some meandering river. The old men and women, in theirholiday garments, stood at their doors to receive their benefactor, andpoured forth blessings on him as he passed. The children welcomed himwith their shrill shouts, the damsels with songs of praise, and the youngmen, with the pipe and tabor, marched before him to the May-pole, whichwas bedecked with flowers and bloom. There the rural dance began. Aplentiful dinner, with oceans of good liquor, was bespoke at the WhiteHart. The whole village was regaled at the squire's expense; and boththe day and the night was spent in mirth and pleasure.
"Lord help you! he could not rest if he thought there was an aching heartin the whole parish. Every paltry cottage was in a little time convertedinto a pretty, snug, comfortable habitation, with a wooden porch at thedoor, glass casements in the windows, and a little garden behind, wellstored with greens, roots, and salads. In a word, the poor's rate wasreduced to a mere trifle; and one would have thought the golden agewas revived in Yorkshire. But, as I told you before, the old knightcould not bear to see his only son so wholly attached to these lowlypleasures, while he industriously shunned all opportunities of appearingin that superior sphere to which he was designed by nature and byfortune. He imputed his conduct to meanness of spirit, and advised withmy father touching the properest expedient to wean his affections fromsuch low-born pursuits. My father counselled him to send the younggentleman up to London, to be entered as a student in the Temple, andrecommended him to the superintendence of some person who knew the town,and might engage him insensibly in such amusements and connexions, aswould soon lift his ideas above the humble objects on which they had beenhitherto employed.
"This advice appeared so salutary, that it was followed without the leasthesitation. The young squire himself was perfectly well satisfied withthe proposal; and in a few days he set out for the great city. But therewas not a dry eye in the parish at his departure, although he prevailedupon his father to pay in his absence all the pensions he had granted tothose who could not live on the fruit of their own industry. In whatmanner he spent his time in London, it is none of my business to inquire;thof I know pretty well what kind of lives are led by gemmen of your Innsof Court.--I myself once belonged to Serjeants' Inn, and was perhaps asgood a wit and a critic as any Templar of them all. Nay, as for thatmatter, thof I despise vanity, I can aver with a safe conscience, that Ihad once the honour to belong to the society called the Town. We wereall of us attorney's clerks, gemmen, and had our meetings at an ale-housein Butcher Row, where we regulated the diversions of the theatre.
"But to return from this digression. Sir Everhard Greaves did not seemto be very well pleased with the conduct of his son at London. He gotnotice of some irregularities and scrapes into which he had fallen; andthe squire seldom wrote to his father, except to draw upon him for money;which he did so fast, that in eighteen months the old gentleman lost allpatience.
"At this period Squire Darnel chan
ced to die, leaving an only daughter, aminor, heiress of three thousand a year under the guardianship of heruncle Anthony, whose brutal character all the world knows. The breathwas no sooner out of his brother's body, than he resolved, if possible,to succeed him in parliament as representative for the borough ofAshenton. Now you must know, that this borough had been for many years abone of contention between the families of Greaves and Darnel; and atlength the difference was compromised by the interposition of friends, oncondition that Sir Everhard and Squire Darnel should alternatelyrepresent the place in parliament. They agreed to this compromise fortheir mutual convenience; but they were never heartily reconciled. Theirpolitical principles did not tally; and their wives looked upon eachother as rivals in fortune and magnificence. So that there was nointercourse between them, thof they lived in the same neighbourhood. Onthe contrary, in all disputes, they constantly headed the oppositeparties. Sir Everhard understanding that Anthony Darnel had begun tocanvass, and was putting every iron in the fire, in violation andcontempt of the pactum familiae before mentioned, fell into a violentpassion, that brought on a severe fit of the gout; by which he wasdisabled from giving personal attention to his own interest. My father,indeed, employed all his diligence and address, and spared neither money,time, nor constitution, till at length he drank himself into aconsumption, which was the death of him. But, after all, there is agreat difference between a steward and a principal. Mr. Darnel attendedin propria persona, flattered and caressed the women, feasted theelectors, hired mobs, made processions, and scattered about his money insuch a manner, that our friends durst hardly show their heads in public.
"At this very crisis, our young squire, to whom his father had written anaccount of the transaction, arrived unexpectedly at Greavesbury Hall, andhad a long private conference with Sir Everhard. The news of his returnspread like wildfire through all that part of the country. Bonfires weremade, and the bells set a-ringing in several towns and steeples; and nextmorning above seven hundred people were assembled at the gate, withmusic, flags, and streamers, to welcome their young squire, and accompanyhim to the borough of Ashenton. He set out on foot with his retinue, andentered one end of the town just as Mr. Darnel's mob had come in at theother. Both arrived about the same time at the market-place; but Mr.Darnel, mounting first into the balcony of the town-house, made a longspeech to the people in favour of his own pretensions, not without someinvidious reflections glanced at Sir Everhard, his competitor.
"We did not much mind the acclamations of his party, which we knew hadbeen hired for the purpose; but we were in some pain for Mr. Greaves, whohad not been used to speak in public. He took his turn, however, in thebalcony, and, uncovering his head, bowed all round with the most engagingcourtesy. He was dressed in a green frock, trimmed with gold, and hisown dark hair flowed about his ears in natural curls, while his face wasoverspread with a blush, that improved the glow of youth to a deepercrimson; and I daresay set many a female heart a palpitating. When hemade his first appearance, there was just such a humming and clapping ofhands as you may have heard when the celebrated Garrick comes upon thestage in King Lear, or King Richard, or any other top character. But howagreeably were we disappointed, when our young gentleman made such anoration as would not have disgraced a Pitt, an Egmont, or a Murray! whilehe spoke, all was hushed in admiration and attention; you could havealmost heard a feather drop to the ground. It would have charmed you tohear with what modesty he recounted the services which his father andgrandfather had done to the corporation; with what eloquence heexpatiated upon the shameful infraction of the treaty subsisting betweenthe two families; and with what keen and spirited strokes of satire heretorted the sarcasms of Darnel.
"He no sooner concluded his harangue, than there was such a burst ofapplause, as seemed to rend the very sky. Our music immediately struckup; our people advanced with their ensigns, and, as every man had a goodcudgel, broken heads would have ensued, had not Mr. Darnel and his partythought proper to retreat with uncommon despatch. He never offered tomake another public entrance, as he saw the torrent ran so violentlyagainst him; but sat down with his loss, and withdrew his opposition,though at bottom extremely mortified and incensed. Sir Everhard wasunanimously elected, and appeared to be the happiest man upon earth; for,besides the pleasure arising from his victory over this competitor, hewas now fully satisfied that his son, instead of disgracing, would dohonour to his family. It would have moved a heart of stone, to see withwhat a tender transport of paternal joy he received his dear Launcelot,after having heard of his deportment and success at Ashenton; where, bythe bye, he gave a ball to the ladies, and displayed as much elegance andpoliteness, as if he had been bred at the court of Versailles.
"This joyous season was of short duration. In a little time all thehappiness of the family was overcast by a sad incident, which hath leftsuch an unfortunate impression upon the mind of the young gentleman, as,I am afraid, will never be effaced. Mr. Darnel's niece and ward, thegreat heiress, whose name is Aurelia, was the most celebrated beauty ofthe whole country; if I said the whole kingdom, or indeed all Europe,perhaps I should barely do her justice. I don't pretend to be a limner,gemmen; nor does it become me to delineate such excellence; but surely Imay presume to repeat from the play--
Oh! she is all that painting can express, Or youthful poets fancy when they love?
"At that time she might be about seventeen, tall and fair, and soexquisitely shaped--you may talk of your Venus de Medicis, your Dianas,your Nymphs, and Galateas; but if Praxiteles, and Roubilliac, and Wilton,were to lay their heads together, in order to make a complete pattern ofbeauty, they would hardly reach her model of perfection.--As forcomplexion, poets will talk of blending the lily with the rose, and bringin a parcel of similes of cowslips, carnations, pinks, and daisies.--There's Dolly, now, has got a very good complexion.--Indeed, she's thevery picture of health and innocence--you are, indeed, my pretty lass;--but parva componere magnis.--Miss Darnel is all amazing beauty, delicacy,and dignity! Then the softness and expression of her fine blue eyes; herpouting lips of coral hue; her neck, that rises like a tower of polishedalabaster between two mounts of snow. I tell you what, gemmen, it don'tsignify talking; if e'er a one of you was to meet this young lady alone,in the midst of a heath or common, or any unfrequented place, he woulddown on his knees, and think he kneeled before some supernatural being.I'll tell you more: she not only resembles an angel in beauty, but asaint in goodness, and an hermit in humility;--so void of all pride andaffectation; so soft, and sweet, and affable, and humane! Lord! I couldtell such instances of her charity!
"Sure enough, she and Sir Launcelot were formed by nature for each other.Howsoever, the cruel hand of fortune hath intervened, and severed themfor ever. Every soul that knew them both, said it was a thousand pitiesbut they should come together, and extinguish, in their happy union, themutual animosity of the two families, which had so often embroiled thewhole neighbourhood. Nothing was heard but the praises of Miss AureliaDarnel and Mr. Launcelot Greaves; and no doubt the parties wereprepossessed, by this applause, in favour of each other. At length, Mr.Greaves went one Sunday to her parish church; but, though the greaterpart of the congregation watched their looks, they could not perceivethat she took the least notice of him; or that he seemed to be struckwith her appearance. He afterwards had an opportunity of seeing her,more at leisure, at the York assembly, during the races; but thisopportunity was productive of no good effect, because he had that sameday quarrelled with her uncle on the turf.
"An old grudge, you know, gemmen, is soon inflamed to a fresh rupture.It was thought Mr. Darnel came on purpose to show his resentment. Theydiffered about a bet upon Miss Cleverlegs, and, in the course of thedispute, Mr. Darnel called him a petulant boy. The young squire, who wasas hasty as gunpowder, told him he was man enough to chastise him for hisinsolence; and would do it on the spot, if he thought it would notinterrupt the diversion. In all probability they would have come topoints immediately, had
not the gentlemen interposed; so that nothingfurther passed, but abundance of foul language on the part of Mr.Anthony, and a repeated defiance to single combat.
"Mr. Greaves, making a low bow, retired from the field; and in theevening danced at the assembly with a young lady from the bishoprick,seemingly in good temper and spirits, without having any words with Mr.Darnel, who was also present. But in the morning he visited that proudneighbour betimes; and they had almost reached a grove of trees on thenorth side of the town, when they were suddenly overtaken by half a dozengentlemen, who had watched their motions. It was in vain for them todissemble their design, which could not now take effect. They gave uptheir pistols, and a reconciliation was patched up by the pressingremonstrances of their common friends; but Mr. Darnel's hatred stillrankled at bottom, and soon broke out in the sequel. About three monthsafter this transaction, his niece Aurelia, with her mother, having beento visit a lady in the chariot, the horses being young, and not used tothe traces, were startled at the braying of a jackass on the common, and,taking fright, ran away with the carriage, like lightning. The coachmanwas thrown from the box, and the ladies screamed piteously for help. Mr.Greaves chanced to be a-horseback on the other side of an enclosure, whenhe heard their shrieks; and riding up the hedge, knew the chariot, andsaw their disaster. The horses were then running full speed in such adirection, as to drive headlong over a precipice into a stone quarry,where they and the chariot, and the ladies, must be dashed to pieces.
"You may conceive, gemmen, what his thoughts were when he saw such a fineyoung lady, in the flower of her age, just plunging into eternity; whenhe saw the lovely Aurelia on the brink of being precipitated among rocks,where her delicate limbs must be mangled and tore asunder; when heperceived, that, before he could ride round by the gate, the tragedywould be finished. The fence was so thick and high, flanked with a broadditch on the outside, that he could not hope to clear it, although he wasmounted on Scipio, bred out of Miss Cowslip, the sire Muley, and hisgrandsire the famous Arabian Mustapha.--Scipio was bred by my father, whowould not have taken a hundred guineas for him, from any other person butthe young squire--indeed, I have heard my poor father say"----
By this time Ferret's impatience was become so outrageous, that heexclaimed in a furious tone, "D--n your father, and his horse, and hiscolt into the bargain!"
Tom made no reply; but began to strip with great expedition. CaptainCrowe was so choked with passion that he could utter nothing butdisjointed sentences. He rose from his seat, brandished his horsewhip,and, seizing his nephew by the collar, cried, "Odd's heartlikins! sirrah,I have a good mind--Devil fire your running tackle, you landlubber!--can't you steer without all this tacking hither and thither, and the Lordknows whither?--'Noint my block! I'd give thee a rope's end for thysupper if it wan't"----
Dolly had conceived a sneaking kindness for the young lawyer, andthinking him in danger of being roughly handled, flew to his relief. Shetwisted her hand in Crowe's neckcloth without ceremony, crying, "Sha'tthen, I tell thee, old codger--who kears a vig vor thy voolish tantrums?"
While Crowe looked black in the face, and ran the risk of strangulationunder the gripe of this Amazon, Mr. Clarke having disengaged himself ofhis hat, wig, coat, and waistcoat, advanced in an elegant attitude ofmanual offence towards the misanthrope, who snatched up a gridiron fromthe chimney corner, and Discord seemed to clap her sooty wings inexpectation of battle. But as the reader may have more than once alreadycursed the unconscionable length of this chapter, we must postpone to thenext opportunity the incidents that succeeded this denunciation of war.