And I’d have to say,
The trick would be to learn about the humans without letting them learn too much about Andalites. There were things I could never tell the humans. Things that might make them turn against me.
“We should hit the Yeerks again while they’re weak,” Rachel growled. “We know the Yeerks won’t get a new ground-based Kandrona for another week. They must still be starving for lack of Kandrona rays. We should hit them!”
Yeerks are a race of parasitic slugs. They live inside the brains of other species. They completely dominate the host body, making it a “Controller.” There are Hork-Bajir-Controllers, Taxxon-Controllers, and more and more Human-Controllers. Any human you know might be a Controller. There is no way to tell — unless you are an Andalite.
I sympathized with Rachel. But I also understood Prince Jake’s caution. No warrior can fight all the time.
“Look, you guys,” Prince Jake said. “We hurt the Yeerks. It was a good job. But we also know that they have a replacement Kandrona being set up, so don’t assume they’re weak. Besides, if they are weak, they sure haven’t shown it. I expected to see Yeerks dying left and right, and former Controllers walking free again. Hasn’t happened. Somehow they’ve maintained.”
“We can’t know what is going on with the Yeerks,” Cassie pointed out. “Just because we haven’t seen them suffer doesn’t mean they haven’t.”
“Okay, look, here we are again, talking about Yeerks,” Jake said impatiently. “We have just come from a very, very unpleasant battle. And we came very close to ending up dead. And it’s not the first time. So we are going to relax and be normal. We are going to the movie. And we are going to have fun. And no one . . . Rachel . . . is going to look for a fight.”
“Don’t you love it when he gets all forceful like that?” Marco said to Cassie. “He’s just so macho sometimes.”
“Okay, Ax,” Jake said. “Time to get dressed.”
“Prince Jake, I am already wearing this garment,” I said, pointing to the thing that covered my body. “Wearing. Ing. Ing-uh.”
It is an amazing sensation, making sounds with your mouth. Actual words are formed by vibrating your throat and positioning your tongue. But some sounds are better than others. “Ing” is a wonderful sound to make.
“Don’t call me ‘Prince,’” Prince Jake said.
“Ax, you’re dressed like an escapee from the Winter Olympics,” Marco said.
“You can’t go out in public wearing tights and a spandex top,” Rachel said. “It’s a major fashion ‘don’t.’ Here.”
She handed me a bag. In the bag were items of clothing. It took several minutes for me to dress successfully. There is a lot to remember, and every bit of clothing can only go on one way. Socks go on the feet and not on the hands, for example.
When I was done, they all stared at me. Even Tobias flew down to stare.
“Rachel, he looks like he’s going to the country club to play polo,” Marco said. “I knew we shouldn’t let you pick the clothes. He’s like a bully magnet. Even I want to beat him up.”
“It’s a classic look,” Rachel said angrily. “Like you’re Mister Fashion? A person who dresses like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo?”
“I think he looks cute,” Cassie said.
Tobias remarked from his perch in the tree above.
“It is?” I asked.
Tobias said.
Ax-man. That’s what Tobias calls me sometimes.
“Come on, Ax,” Prince Jake said, smiling. “Let’s do this. If anyone tries to beat you up, we’ll protect you.”
I did not understand the plot of that story,” I said.
We were in the movie theater. I was “sitting.” This involves bending your body and resting on the fat deposits halfway down the back of your body.
“That was a preview, Ax,” Prince Jake said. “It’s just to give you an idea what the whole movie will be like when it comes out.”
“Yes. I see. Why is the screen flat and two-dimensional? Flat. Flat-tuh.”
“Because that’s how some movies are.”
“Ah.”
“You want some popcorn?” Marco asked. He held one of the open boxes they had obtained. He moved it close to me.
“Is it food?” I asked.
“Well, sort of,” Prince Jake said. “But, Ax? You know how you get around food, okay? So remember — don’t get carried away.”
I watched Marco eat some of the popcorn. I did as he did. I stuck my large human fingers into the box. I removed a handful of the food and stuck it in my mouth.
I chewed.
The texture was rough and strange. And the flavor! It reminded me of a food called pizza. But there was just a hint of cigarette butts, which I also enjoy. Although Prince Jake had told me never to eat cigarette butts again. They are bad for you.
I took another handful of the popcorn. I chewed it. Another handful.
“This is excellent!” I cried.
“It tastes like it’s about a week old,” Marco said.
“What are these flavors? What are they called?”
“I don’t know. Salt? Grease?”
“Salt!” I said, savoring the very sound of the word. “Salt! And grease! Greee-suh!”
“Hey, hold it down,” someone behind me said. “The movie is starting.”
“Salt. Salt-tuh. Grease. Greeeesss.”
“Ax, don’t talk so loud, okay?” Prince Jake suggested.
“Here, just take the box,” Marco said.
He handed me the box of popcorn. I quickly ate the rest of it.
“Not the box!” Marco wailed. “You don’t eat the box!”
“It tasted of salt and grease,” I pointed out.
“Oh, man. Is it time to leave yet?” Marco asked Prince Jake. “Tell me it’s time to leave.”
The movie began. It involved humans and non-humans in uniforms. It seemed they were in some sort of spacecraft.
“What type of ship is that?” I asked. “It looks somewhat like a Hawjabran freighter.”
“That’s the Enterprise,” Prince Jake said. “It’s not real. It’s just made-up.”
“Yes. I know,” I said. “I do know what a real interstellar spacecraft looks like.” Marco and Prince Jake looked at each other. Both smiled.
I quickly became bored by the plot of the movie. For one thing, there was one character who was clearly an Ongachic female. But in the movie this creature was called a “Klingon.” It made no sense.
However, by accident I made a tremendous discovery. There was more popcorn! It was in boxes on the floor. I hadn’t seen it in the darkness. There was a half-full box right by my feet.
I quickly ate this new popcorn. Then I found something else beside it on the floor. It was a smaller box. Inside it were three small brown globules.
I ate the brown globules.
At that moment, it was as if the entire planet had stopped spinning. The taste! It was beyond description!
Those brown globules were like nothing I had ever experienced. I felt my life had changed. I felt myself lifted up out of the world of everyday senses to some new level.
More! I wanted more!
I dropped to my knees and began to search. I crawled along the floor, looking for more. It was easier crawling than walking. At least when I crawled I had four legs. Also, the humans had coated the floor with sticky substances, which made it easier not to slip.
I found no more boxes of globules. However, there was a small, twisted plastic envelope. And within that twisted plastic envelope I discovered a chunk that smelled very similar to the globules.
I stuck it in my mouth.
Yes! It was the same flavor. The sa
me miraculous, heavenly flavor! And yet . . . there were differences, too. It was crunchier. And there were other flavors.
The floor of the movie theater was filled with precious items! I crawled on. I had to squeeze past several seated humans, who made loud noises as I passed.
“Hey, jerk! What are you doing?”
“Get away from me, you freak!”
But I could not be distracted. I wanted more of the amazing brown food! More!
Yes! Success! Another small box, and this one was half-filled with brightly colored pellets. And yet, inside each pellet, more of the magic brown food!
More. More! I wanted more!
There! A younger human was holding an entire box of the brown globules! But I could not just take them. I must have permission first.
I looked up from the floor at the human. “Please give me your brown globules?!” I asked. “Globules! Ules!”
“MOMMY!”
“What do you think you’re doing?” another human cried.
“MOMMY! He’s trying to take my candy!”
I heard a more familiar voice. It was Marco. “Where is he? Jake! Where’s Ax?”
“I merely wish to enjoy the brown globules!” I explained to the screaming child.
Suddenly I felt Prince Jake and Marco grabbing my arms. They lifted me up off the floor and dragged me away.
“Globules!” I cried. I snatched for the box the small human was holding. “Globules!”
There are many dangers for an Andalite in human morph. For one thing, there is the constant danger that you will fall off your two legs. The slightest push and you can topple over. But worse by far is the danger of taste. Taste is the sense that can drive an Andalite mad! Especially if it involves cinnamon buns or chocolate.
— From the Earth Diary of Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
By the time Marco and Prince Jake had half-dragged, half-carried me out of the theater, I was calm again. We emerged into a brilliant sunlit area where vehicles are parked.
“Okay, I think we have learned a lesson here,” Prince Jake said. “No chocolate for Ax.”
“Chocolate? Chock? Chock-lit?” I said, trying out the word. “The brown globules are called chocolate? What about the brightly colored pellets?”
“Actually, the globules are called Raisinets. The pellets are M&M’s. Are you under control now, Ax?” Prince Jake asked.
I couldn’t tell if he was angry or amused. “Yes,” I said shakily. “I . . . the flavor! It was just so wonderful.”
Cassie and Rachel emerged from the mall behind me. They watched curiously, but kept their distance. As always, we were careful not to appear to be a group. The Controllers are everywhere.
Suddenly I heard a thought-speak message.
It was Tobias, on patrol far overhead. Of course, none of the humans could answer him. They can use thought-speech only when they’re in a morph. Since my human body is itself a morph, I could have responded, but Tobias went on.
he said.
Just then, I began to hear it, too. It was a human shouting in a loud, hoarse voice.
“Over there,” Marco said tersely.
A man appeared. He seemed to be having difficulty standing up. He leaned against the outer wall of the store and staggered forward. Humans stared at him and moved away.
“Listen to me! Listen to me!” he cried, looking around wildly. “They’re here! They’re here! They’re everywhere! The Yeerks are here!”
My human body felt as if it had been jolted with electricity. Human bodies become very tense when surprised. I could see that Prince Jake and Marco were having the same reaction.
I heard sirens wailing and drawing closer.
“What do we do?” Marco asked.
Prince Jake turned quickly back to Rachel and Cassie. He made a gesture with his hand. “Split up!” he said.
“They’re heeeeere!” the man cried. “Aaaaahhhh!” He suddenly clapped both his hands over his left ear. “Got you! Got you! Die! Die!”
“He’s a Controller,” I said. “The Yeerk in his head is dying.”
Jake met my gaze. “I know,” he said. “Been there.”
I nodded. Jake had been made into a Controller, though only for a brief time. We had been able to imprison him and starve the Yeerk. Yeerks live in the brains of other species, but every three Earth days they must bathe in the Yeerk pool and soak up Kandrona rays. Without Kandrona rays, they starve and die.
Kandrona rays are beamed from a device called a Kandrona. (Actually, it’s a Kandrona Wave/Particle Generator.) The rays are beamed and then concentrated in the Yeerk pool, where the Yeerks feed.
We had found and destroyed the Earth-based Kandrona.
“Why is this happening now?” Rachel asked. “It’s been weeks since we destroyed the Kandrona. Nothing ever seemed to happen. So why now?”
I shrugged my shoulders, the way humans do to indicate ignorance. “I don’t know, Rachel. Maybe the Yeerks have reached their limit. It would have been a strain on their resources to shuttle Controllers back and forth to the mother ship. Ship-puh. Maybe something was broken.”
“I didn’t think things just broke for you space people,” Marco said.
“Things break,” I said truthfully. “Break. Ake. Ake-kuh.”
“Well, whatever. Scratch one Yeerk,” Marco said harshly.
The man was screaming now and yanking at his ear. I could just see the slimy tip of the dying Yeerk as it slithered out of the man’s head.
“Can’t we help him?”
It was Cassie. She and Rachel had defied Prince Jake’s order to split up. They were with us now as we watched, horrified and transfixed.
“We have to stay clear of this,” Prince Jake said. “But maybe it’s finally starting. It may just be this one guy, but there may be more. Finally! I expected this to start happening weeks ago. Yeerks dying! Controllers suddenly free and human again.” He grinned. It was a savage look. “They’ll die, and their hosts will be free! At first, people will think they’re nuts. But when they have ten, twenty, fifty people all yelling about the Yeerks? They won’t be able to cover that up. Not for long!”
His voice had risen, becoming higher, and the words came out faster. He was obviously excited.
Suddenly an ambulance raced up, followed by two police cars, all with flashing lights and screaming sirens.
“Hah!” Marco said. “I’m sure some of the cops are Controllers, but they can’t all be. Jake’s right. The truth will get out! This is going to work! The truth is going to come out!”
“The replacement Kandrona is supposed to be here soon,” Rachel pointed out. “We should have seen a lot more of this. The Yeerks must have found a way to keep this from happening till now.”
Rachel is a true warrior. She does not under-estimate her enemies. She was not ready to start talking about victory.
But the others were all very happy. They believed that many Yeerks would die, and the hosts would be free to tell the world the truth.
They believed they had won the war.
It made me sad for them. Because I knew the truth. I knew how the Yeerks operated.
I almost told Prince Jake right then. He has a special reason to be hopeful. His brother, Tom, is a Controller. There is nothing Prince Jake would want as much as his brother’s freedom.
But I knew this screaming Controller with the dying Yeerk in his head was just an oversight. Something had gone wrong with the Yeerks’ secret efforts, but I knew that there would be no witnesses.
I knew what would happen
to this poor, shouting human.
Jake was my prince now, my leader. But if I told him . . . it would lead to questions. And I could not answer questions. Not without revealing the terrible truth behind the law of Seerow’s Kindness.
Humans rushed from the ambulance and the police cars. Most, as Marco had said, were probably true, normal humans. They grabbed the screaming man, who was still pulling the Yeerk from his ear.
“Oh, Lord! What is that? He’s pulling his brains out!” one policeman cried in horror.
“The Yeerks! They’re here!” the human screamed. “Die! Die! Get out of me and die! Freedom!”
The police surrounded the man and hustled him to the ambulance. It was hard to see, unless you were expecting it: the moment when one of the policemen drew a small, steel cylinder from his pocket and pressed it against the back of the man’s neck.
“I can’t believe it!” Cassie exulted. “Maybe it’s really going to happen. Maybe people will realize the truth!”
“They have a real, live Yeerk now,” Prince Jake said. “They can’t cover this up forever.”
Again I thought of telling them the truth. That the human was already gone. That the Yeerk slug would crumble into dust. That no evidence would be left behind.
But even though these humans were my friends, even though we fought side by side, there were secrets I could not tell them.
I could not tell them how a race of parasitic slugs had come to be a danger to the entire galaxy.
I could not tell them why we Andalites had to fight the Yeerks. Why we had no choice but to fight them. Why we hated them so deeply.
We have secrets, we Andalites. And the greatest secret of all is our own guilt.
“This is great,” Prince Jake said, smiling.
“Yes,” I said. “Great.”
As the sun rose above the horizon the next morning, I stood by the small stream where I drink each day. Rough grasses, mixed with fallen leaves and pine needles, ran right down to the water. The sun was just barely visible through a gap in the forest trees.