The Raven remained perfectly still, watching me from a few feet away as if to analyze me. I stopped the music and listened to the animal caw. The sounds were short, quick and almost rhythmic. Curious, I extended a hand toward the bird, but it fled into the wind kicking up a quick gust with its ascent. So I stuffed the book into my bag and followed the bird’s flight path as best I could. Occasionally I’d catch glimpses of the Raven soaring above the trees. I followed wondering whether I was going mad or the bird was taking me somewhere.
My walk led me away from campus and down a hill and toward the banks of the Geordie, named after the man who founded Raven’s Glen—George P Raven. The river’s soft sloshing reached my ears as I approached, but the Raven had disappeared between the thick trees. I spent a moment catching my bearings until I heard the bird’s song at the edge of my senses in an almost ethereal way. It was drawing me to the riverbank, so I obliged.
Where the grass turned to mud and the mud met the water I spied the Raven once more, majestically perched on a branch. I dropped my bag on the dry grass and stepped lightly. The bird didn’t move from the low hanging branch it had claimed but it stared at me and cocked its head. I came so close I could’ve touched the bird if I reached far enough, but I was worried I would fall into the water. My heart was racing now, hammering so hard I felt it in my fingers!
The feeling came suddenly. It was as if a cold hand had reached into my chest, clutched my heart, and squeezed.
The Raven took flight and left me by the riverbank hugging myself, gasping, and choking on my own breath. I staggered towards the nearest tree and held myself up. Like something out of a nightmare, I tried to scream but no sounds escaped my lips save for struggled wheezes. My heart refused to relax, soon trees, rocks and river started to blur into each other. I almost passed out. But the cold hand let go of my heart and I felt it start to beat again.
I stared at the slushing water and scanned the skies for the Raven but found only questions glaring back at me from the tree-line across the river; questions and an ache in my chest. The surface of the water was rough and angry now, when moments ago it had been cool and still. So I moved closer to the river and stood on precariously slippery grass, my eyes pulled to the frothing currents as if by magnets.
In an instant all became clear; my answers weren’t above the water, but under it. The only thing that made sense now was to go in, so I dashed into the river and waded through the icy cold like a girl possessed. Liquid ice swirled around my body, biting and cutting. The black leggings I wore stuck to my skin as I went and the material of my black dress soaked up so much water it was starting to weigh me down.
My entire lower half went numb in an instant, but a mystery called to me from beneath the murky water. My chest tightened again, an alien pressure threatening to cave in my rib cage if I didn’t continue into the river. All I wanted to do was to get out of the water, to escape the cold, but something didn’t want me to leave.
It wanted me to dive.
Dive.
Chapter Five
The murky, freezing river water stung my eyes as I groped the riverbed. I reached into the mud with my fingertips and dug with a purpose. The cold didn’t bother me as much as the pain my fingers were in from burrowing through rocks, but there would be no stopping now. I had to go deeper.
Deeper.
Find it.
Deeper.
Out of nowhere a pair of hands pulled me out of the water and carried me toward the grass. Frozen air bit at my skin, stinging my face and nose; my body trembled and teeth chattered. Who dragged me out of the river I didn’t know, but my heart beat hard against my temples and I tried not to cry. I wrapped my hands around the neck of the person carrying me and buried my face into his chest. What an idiot!
Who the fuck throws herself into a river in the fall?
I regained myself when warm air caressed my cheeks. Dazed, I scanned the interior of the car I had been brought to. In the driver’s seat I spied Damien, starting the engine and rubbing his hands together, blowing into them on occasion, only I couldn’t believe it was him. At least, not until he spoke.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
“G-God its cold,” I said, chattering.
“Here,” he took my hands in his and brought them closer to the air blower. A tingly warm rush overcame me, but some time would pass before the healthy pink returned to my blue lips. I rubbed my shoulders to try and regain some warmth.
“Thank you,” I said, brushing wet hair out of my face.
“What were you doing in the river?” Damien asked.
“I… wanted a swim?”
“In the middle of September? You could have hurt yourself.”
“I know, thank you, seriously. I think you just saved my life.”
“Great way to meet, I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“I will be. Shit, I missed class.”
“Class finished an hour ago.”
“Seriously?” I swallowed hard. Talk about lost time.
Damien started the car. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve seen what you’re reading in class. You’re way ahead already.”
I realized then I had been gripping something in my hand. My knuckles were white from the strength of my grip. My fist unclenched to reveal a bracelet made of semi-precious gems looped around my hand. Amethyst, amber, and rose quartz stones had been carefully threaded through a tough black throng. Amazingly the wristlet hadn’t ripped coming out of the riverbed.
Damien drove us out of the parking lot and into the street.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“To get warm; fuck class today.”
The car’s interior stank of river water and mud. I would have blushed if I hadn’t been so damn cold. “I’m so sorry,” I said, “I got mud in your car.”
“Don’t worry about it, okay? I just want to help.”
“Even weirdoes like me who dive into cold rivers for no apparent reason?”
“I wouldn’t call you a weirdo.”
“What would you call me, then?”
“Can I use two words?”
“Go ahead.”
“I’d call you pretty, and also eccentric.”
My cheeks flushed now. I gave Damien my address and helped him navigate the streets. It was clear now that he wasn’t from around here, but with me as a navigator getting to my place didn’t take us long. Raven’s Glen is a small, rural town where folks don’t usually need cars to get from A to B—although most families still owned two each.
Excessive, if you ask me, but who am I to judge?
Damien stopped the car in my driveway and glanced at me. “This is your stop,” he said.
I didn’t want to leave the comfort of his jacket or his car. I had to repay him. “Come inside?” I asked.
Damien shook his head. “I couldn’t.”
“Please? I have towels and stuff you can use. I’ll make you something warm to drink.”
The car grumbled and shut up. Damien nodded, and I beamed on the inside. And maybe on the outside too.
I couldn’t tell.
Chapter Six
Without waiting another cold, damp moment, I grabbed a quick change of clothes from my bedroom and lead Damien into the attic. We left wet footprints all over the floors but I didn’t much care. I had tracked mud all over his car, after all.
When we got to the attic I opened one of the many chests lining the outside edges of the room and handed Damien a bunch of clothes. I wasn’t about to leave him cold and waiting while I changed into something warm. Besides, I had a dryer. His clothes would dry in no time.
“Here,” I said, “These are my dad’s clothes. I think some of them will fit you.”
I dashed to the stairs leading down from the attic and pulled Damien along with me before he could protest. “There’s a bathroom down the hall,” I continued, “Get changed, warm up, and I’ll meet you downstairs.”
Damien did as I asked and got changed a few doors down fro
m me. The thought of having him in my house, naked, helped me warm up. Amber Lee, calm the hell down. But I had to push it out of my mind. I didn’t know anything about this guy besides some kind of dreamy, awkward, knight?
We met downstairs once we had gotten changed and I threw our clothes into the drier before heading into the kitchen. Damien waited, sitting at my kitchen table, while I prepared two cups of steaming hot chocolate. Perfect drinks for the occasion.
While he waited, Damien shuffled uncomfortably on the chair. He was like a fish out of water, completely out of his element in my dad’s rainbow colored Miami palm tree shirt and acid wash jeans. I realized now why my dad buried them in the attic and wondered how he ever managed to snag my mom wearing those.
“I think it suits you,” I said.
“You know,” said Damien, examining himself. He stood and twirled around. “I could get into this look. What do you think?”
“I think you should stick to black. Black is hot.” I immediately regretted those words, but taking them back would’ve just made things awkward.
When the drinks were ready I set them down on the table, took my cup in my hand, and let the feather of steam warm my nose.
“I’m glad you found me,” I said, “I’m not used to being a damsel in distress.”
“I know that much about you,” he said.
“Could you?”
“You have an independent demeanor. You like being alone, I take it?”
“That obvious?” I asked, throwing him a grin from across the table.
“I don’t think I’ve seen you speak to anyone other than a professor all week.”
“And somehow my efforts are thwarted by a meddling young man who can’t take a hint,” I joked. Damien’s smile lit up the room, his hazel eyes glinting in the ambient light coming in through the kitchen window.
“So,” Damien said, “Are you going to tell me why you went swimming in the river? People don’t just go for swims mid-morning in freezing cold temperatures.”
“Have you ever been to Russia?” I asked.
“No, I don’t think so.”
“You’d take that back if you ever met Ivanov. He was my Russian guide when I went to Moscow. They do this thing where they carve holes in lakes—you know, because they freeze over in the winter—and they go and have dips in the water beneath the ice.”
“That’s insane.”
“Well, the water in the makeshift pool is warmer than the ice and the surface. It’s like a hot spring. He had to strong-arm me into doing it, but I didn’t regret it. You should try it.”
I was obviously deflecting, doing my very best to avoid Damien’s question, but it didn’t work. He fell silent and sipped his hot chocolate. “This isn’t Russia, though,” he said.
I sighed. “You’ll think I’m weird if I told you why I did it.”
“I’ve already said it once today; I don’t think you’re weird.”
“No, but you’ll think it after I tell you this. I promise.”
“Okay, so how about you just tell me and let me decide whether you’re weird or not?”
I narrowed my eyes into slits, sighed, and said “Something strange happened to me. First this Raven cawed at me, almost as if the bird was trying to get my attention. So when the bird fluttered off I went after it and wound up at the riverbank. Then it’s as if something grabbed hold of my chest and squeezed so tightly that I couldn’t breathe, like a panic attack.” By the concerned look in his eyes I knew I had Damien’s attention, although I’m sure I sounded like a mad woman. “Next thing I knew,” I continued, “I was in the water pulling something from out of the mud, and then you pulled me out.”
“What did you grab?” he asked.
“A bracelet,” I said.
“Can I see it?”
I nodded and produced the bracelet from my pocket. Damien took it, and his face turned a deathly white.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Damien said. He sighed, though it sounded more like a half-choke. “Listen, you don’t look too hot right now.”
“Thanks.”
“No, I mean, you’re tired. You’ve just been through hell. I should probably get out of your hair.” He practically thrust the bracelet back into my hand.
“You’re leaving?” I asked.”
“I probably should.” Damien stood.
I didn’t want to fight, but he was right. A yawn escaped my mouth. “Yeah… sorry, I’m actually exhausted. I didn’t feel it until you mentioned it.”
Damien nodded. “Thanks for the hot chocolate, though. I’ll see you in class, rest up okay?”
With every step Damien took towards the door my eyelids felt heavier. I heard him get into his car and pull out of the drive. By then my body was a weary mess. I wanted my bed, screw having a shower. White feather pillows embraced my head lovingly as I hit the bed. Moments, and I drifted into a dreamless sleep.
I didn’t realize until I woke up much later that Damien hadn’t taken his clothes with him.
Chapter Seven
I had been down for three hours. By the time I woke up there wasn’t much left for me to do, so Eliza kept me company online. We hadn’t properly spoken since I started class and only saw each other in the crossover during lunch at the bookshop. She’d then go home for the day and I’d stay behind to cover the afternoon shift. It was enjoyable to catch up and tell her how things were going, although I omitted any mention of Damien and my strange experience at the river. I had nothing to say which didn’t make me sound like I had a screw loose.
Leaving the house the next morning in a red and black tartan skirt, a black sweater and my muddy Doctor Martens, I didn’t feel as rough as I thought it would have. Playing with the stones on the bracelet I found in the river kept the memory of the event fresh enough to write them down in my dream diary, even though my mid-morning dip wasn’t an actual dream. I hadn’t seen Damien all day, and without his clear eyes to distract me my mind found no reprieve from what happened on the banks of the Geordie.
After class, in the shadow of what I’d decided was to be my Sycamore tree, I swallowed several chapters on the religious traditions of Ancient Sumerian tribes while the world passed me by. But the words on the page slipped from my mind, and retaining information was about as difficult as trying to catch a trout with one’s bare hands. Still, my keen interest in the subject matter spurred me on. I’d never known much about ancient humans, at least not in a theological sense, but this fascinated me enough to urge me into turning another page.
Until rustling grass alerted me to a presence fast approaching.
My stomach churned as I expected an awkward conversation with a random, so I raised my book further and hid behind the cover.
“Hey,” said the tall shadow.
That voice is familiar. I looked up to see Damien’s dark silhouette breaking the sun’s light. “Hi,” I said.
Damien smiled. “Mind if I join you?”
I nodded and cleared a space for him in front of me.
He set his backpack down next to mine and sat on the grass. Denim jeans, Nine Inch Nails on his shirt, black leather jacket and a pair of Doctor Martens. The mud on the soles of his shoes had dried up like mine. I wondered if his still smelled like the river, too.
“About yesterday,” he said.
“Don’t mention it. You were right, I needed the rest.”
Damien smiled, though there was something knowing about his smile.
“How was going home in a rainbow colored shirt?” I joked.
“Oh, right, that—”
“Don’t worry, your clothes are safe and sound. Dry, last I checked.”
“Thanks.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t have to do much. Only, I slept like a log, so they may have shrunk.”
“Serious?”
I flashed a grin. “Another joke!” I said, smiling. “Did you take a serious pill this morning?”
Damien seemed to be a little on edge, a
nd when he didn’t laugh at my joke my body flushed hot and cold in the same instant. Was something wrong? I didn’t know him well enough yet to make that observation but he’d always shown me a cool front. Still. I wondered.
“Look, can I be totally honest with you about something?” he asked.
I brushed stray copper strands of hair out of my face. “Sure, what is it?”
Damien paused, as if he had lost his trail of thought. “You’re wearing the bracelet?” he asked. The charms distracted him. I didn’t think that’s where his line of inquiry was headed.
“Yeah,” I said, “Why do you ask?”
“Nothing, it just caught my attention.” I was sure that was a lie but I didn’t question it. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “Yesterday, at the river, you felt something didn’t you?”
“Yeah, like, I felt compelled. Like I had to be there, I had to dive into the river and pull this bracelet out of the water. I have no idea who it belongs to, but I’m thinking she could’ve been Wiccan.”
“A Wiccan? What makes you say that?”
“These stones are amber, amethyst, and rose quartz. They’re semi-precious, but they’ve got symbolic meanings. The amber and the amethyst help with emotional healing and getting rid of negative emotions and the rose quartz helps to balance someone out, especially if they’ve just gone through some emotional stress. I have a feeling the person who made this was dealing with some issues.”
Damien stared off into the tree line down the hill.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Did it freak you out?” he asked, facing me again.
“I’ve never felt anything like that in my entire life. It still freaks me out.”
“You’re Wiccan, though, right?”
I nodded, proudly. There are more shocking religions in the world to associate with. Being Wiccan wasn’t out of the ordinary anymore, but admitting it to someone not of the Craft was risky; religious people were judgmental dicks in this day and age.