“I’m sorry,” James said. He put his forehead against hers and leaned in for a first kiss; it was fast and fiery. Unfortunately, it ended with Sarah pulling away quickly; for fear that her parents would come downstairs and catch them.
“I don’t know but I always feel so special when I’m with you, James,” she said.
“Me too,” James said, grinning.
Sarah shrugged and smirked. “Maybe we can make this thing work.”
“And then we can get married,” James answered.
“I hope so,” Sarah continued, happily.
She closed her eyes for a moment, then put her head against his hard chest, and dreamed of them being married. But underneath it all, reality kept slipping in. Would they really make it to the altar? The future remained to be seen.
Chapter Six
Once they announced their intentions to her parents, Abraham and Mary seemed to be happy at first. But after talking to Sarah for a while, they soon concluded that nothing had changed but had in fact, gotten worse.
“I can’t believe that you would bring that boy into this mess of yours,” Mary said, shaking her head.
Sarah raised her eyebrows. “Mess, Mudder?”
“Yes, into this unholy life you’re planning to have. You’re not yet baptized and you have these crazy ideas of having a restaurant in your head. You’re tainting him with those crazy ideas,” Mary explained.
“But, it is not my intention to taint anyone, Mudder,” Sarah said, humbly. Sarah sat with her head held down. She wanted her posture to reflect her feelings yet, she doubted that anyone even noticed.
“But you are luring him into a trap,” Abraham interjected.
Sarah sighed and answered her father quietly, trying her best not to offend him. “I am not trying to lure him. He just cares about me.”
“I wish we could believe that but unfortunately, because of your actions, we don’t trust anyone,” Abraham said.
“But Daed, I love him…”
Mary continued, “You don’t yet know what love is if you’re still talking about a life as a restaurant owner, a life outside of our community. A true wife and mother would sacrifice for the good of the family.”
Sarah felt defeated in the face of her parent’s admonishment. “But I am willing to sacrifice.”
“You’re not ready,” Abraham spat out.
Mary nodded in agreement.
Sarah looked from one parent to the other. “I believe I am ready,” Sarah said to them.
Mary frowned. “You will ruin that boy’s life and take his soul to hell with yours.”
“Mudder, I can still love Gott and have a purpose too. He is the one who gave me this calling. I can live my life and still own a restaurant too,” Sarah said, believing with all her heart that it was true.
Mary shook her head, “You cannot be Amish and have a restaurant out in the world. Not here, you can’t. The bishop won’t stand for it. You’ll have to give it up.”
“Besides baptism time is coming up fast. We’ll need you focused on that and not the silly dreams of yours,” her father huffed, and then left the room without another word.
When Sarah saw James later on that day, she explained her parent’s sentiments.
“Don’t worry. They’ll come around in time. My father was a little wary too. He says that you’re too wild for me.”
Sarah sulked. “Looks like I’ve just made a mess of everything, haven’t I?”
James lifted her chin. “Nothing comes easy in this life. We will have to pray that Gott’s will be done.”
Sarah nodded but wondered if this was really a matter of Gott’s will or her own.
Chapter Seven
James watched Sarah as she went back to her house. He felt a mixture of emotions. On one hand, he admired her independent streak. But at the same time, he wondered if his father was right about Sarah being too wild for him.
James loved Sarah but he wanted her to be tamed, at least enough to remain Amish and to have his children. But every time they discussed it, she refused to promise that she would do either. She folded her arms and looked up to the sky, as if she knew Gott was on her side.
He didn’t know why he even continued to deal with it but he did.
So James decided to talk to Sarah’s brother, John, about it. “What do you think I should do about your sister?”
“I know you care about her but she’s always been like this. She’s always gone her own way, despite what our parents and others thought. And who knows, maybe she’s right about some things. Maybe you shouldn’t be trying to change her mind.”
“But if I don’t, I’ll lose her. And we’ll all lose her because she’ll leave the Amish community and go out into the world. I have no doubt that she’ll find a way to have her own restaurant someday but we’ll probably never see her again,” James said. “Or at least, she’ll be lost to us forever.”
John chuckled. “Aren’t you being a little extreme?”
“Not at all. Your sister is very determined that nothing will stop her,” James said.
“I guess you’re right.”
James sighed. “I just don’t know how to convince her to stay and be happy with what she has.”
“Well, she’s seen all of the good things about owning a restaurant and she already loves to cook, but maybe if you show her the other side.”
“What do you mean?”
“There are always two sides to every story. Find out about the bad side of business and show her that. Maybe that will help to slow her down. Maybe if she sees the ugly side, she’ll reconsider and that’s exactly what you need.”
James snapped his fingers. “You’re right. That’s exactly what I’ll do. I’ll go to the schoolhouse library and –”
“There won’t be enough information there or any at all about business. You’ll have to go into town to the big library,” John said.
James took the buggy and went to the library to do research. He gathered information on the difficulties and dangers of being a business woman. He specifically took notes on the problems of restaurant owners, feeling that this would sway Sarah’s opinions.
With pressure mounting on every side, including from his father who said, “You can’t marry a woman like that. You’ll never be happy,” James didn’t know where to turn.
So he returned with all of his knowledge and tried it out on Sarah, line after line every time she brought up the subject of owning a restaurant.
“It is a very risky businesses,” he said.
Sarah just stared at him.
“And it’s very expensive investment too, which banks are very skeptical about lending money for startup,” he continued.
Eventually, Sarah realized what he was trying to do and responded by asking him to leave. “You may come back when you are not trying to discourage or trick me. I thought you understood my calling.”
James left quietly, feeling defeated and praying, “Lord, what shall I do now?”
Chapter Eight
Once Sarah saw what James was attempting to do, and had calmed down, she felt compelled to change his mind about everything. Either he’d realize that she was right or she would not be able to stay and marry him. She wanted things to change, but truthfully she wasn’t sure how or if they would. She also wasn’t sure if she would have to give up her love, James for her love of cooking.
In any case, with both sets of parents against their impending marriage, she decided to convince them all, that she was actually ready for that kind of commitment. She didn’t take the conversation she had with them lightly, but she did promise them that she would do better.
So she started her baptism classes along with James and the rest of the young people and tried to stay focused.
One day while James was visiting Sarah and her parents, he said, “I believe that you love cooking more than me.”
“I’ll prove to you that it is not true.” Sarah looked back and forth at her parents and at James.
&nb
sp; “I’m sure that you can’t even survive without cooking for a whole week,” Abraham said, gruffly.
“I’ll prove it to you and I’ll prove it to everyone, that I am seriously committed and ready for marriage,” Sarah insisted.
The first day, she avoided the kitchen altogether. The next day proved to be harder than the first but she survived. On the third day, she began to feel shaky. Although she was able to spend time with James, she still longed to express herself in the kitchen. By the fourth day, she thought she would go out of her mind if she didn’t cook something soon. On the fifth day she snuck downstairs to the kitchen while everyone was asleep. She took out a pot and a handful of carrots, tomatoes, and onions and was just about to make some soup when she looked up and was caught red-handed.
“Sarah, I knew you couldn’t do it. Don’t ruin that boy’s life. You are not ready,” Mary said, looking at her husband.
Sarah sat with her head in her hands. Sadly, she had failed.
Chapter Nine
Sarah and James stood outside on the porch, with the midday sun shining on them.
“I guess we are just not meant to be. Maybe my parents are right. Maybe I’m not ready,” Sarah said.
When Sarah told James what had happened the night before, he held her in his arms and said, “No, Sarah it’s me who hasn’t been ready for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been trying to communicate with me the entire time, trying to share your total self with me. But I’ve been so selfish I haven’t listened. I mean really listened.” James shook his head. “I’ve had to have things my way even though it was killing you but no more.”
“But what can we do?”
James began to pace back and forth, and then stopped. “We can try things another way. What if we do have a restaurant and catering business but we run it together? What if it’s a family business and we have it right here in our community, on our land?”
Sarah looked into James’ eyes. “But how would we do that?”
“I’m not sure about all of the details but maybe we can build one right beside our house. That way you can serve all of our friends and neighbors, family and maybe just maybe we can even do tours for the Englischers.”
Sarah made a sad face. “But it would have to be small then?”
“I’m afraid so. I don’t think that it’s possible for us to have a world-class restaurant and still be Amish.”
“You’re right but at least we will have each other and we will make it the best in our community.” Sarah began to feel better about the idea.
James said, “Yes this sounds like a plan.”
“James, I love you so much,” Sarah said.
James pushed a single strand of hair from her face. “Not more than I love you.”
“What about the children?”
“Maybe you can work until the children come or in between.” James grinned. “Either way, I’m sure we’ll work it out.”
Sarah threw her arms around him, without fear of being seen, and for the very first time, Sarah was hopeful.
Chapter Ten
James and Sarah were both baptized when the time came. It was a beautiful experience for both of them. Sarah never regretted her decision to commit herself to Gott. And the baptism was followed by a beautiful fall wedding with all of their family, friends and neighbors in attendance.
James looked at his beautiful wife and touched her soft face. “I love you so much, Sarah.”
“I love you more, James,” Sarah said, smiling up at him.
They were finally starting their life together, for better or worse.
Sarah’s parents and James’ father were relieved that their children had found someone to share their lives with. It had been a long, shaky journey but thankfully, a successful one.
The community wished them well and after hearing about Sarah’s desire to feed her community, they gathered together to do a house raising and a barn raising, although the barn like building would not house animals. In fact, it was more like a cottage than a barn and it was built right on the side of their house. It had a small cooking area for Sarah, including a gas stove. James installed windows and bought ten small wooden tables and matching chairs. Sarah made standard curtains for the windows.
Finally, they were ready to have their grand opening and all were invited. In typical non-opulent Amish style, they called the restaurant James and Sarah’s Restaurant. It was simple and understated just as was expected. Although there was barely standing room on that particular day as the people crowded in to see what they had done, Sarah and James were very happy. Even the bishop came to bestow his blessing on the new business.
And Sarah served as many people as she could on that day. She cooked and she baked and she served while James helped her with everything. They laughed and talked as they prepared the food, talked to whatever guests came by and they truly enjoyed their work. Although they didn’t necessarily expect to be that busy every day, they were grateful for the support of the community, especially after all they’d been through.
At the end of the day, as James turned off the kerosene lamps and they closed the doors, they were tired but satisfied.
“I was so worried that I would lose you or lose myself,” Sarah said.
“Now your dream has become mine because we are one and you’ll never have to worry about us being apart again,” James assured her.
“It is my dream come true,” Sarah twirled around under the stars.
“And you are my dream come true,” James said, lifting her up to spin her around in his arms.
And once her feet hit the ground, Sarah and James walked arm in arm back to their house, filled with love and laughter and hope for their bright future.
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