Chapter Eight
Nobody could come up with any kind of plan that seemed plausible. Ray wasn’t much help; he spent the entire afternoon on the couch, obviously upset about Ilene. I couldn’t blame him there; I’d done quite a bit of thinking about her in the past couple of days.
Was it my fault that she’d turned out this way? If Ray and I had spent more time and attention on her, would she have been our ally right now? I knew that Ray was blaming himself, and I could understand.
I blamed myself too.
Jax believed that our best course of action was to attack Roger’s reputation, not his actual person. All we had to do was tell the werewolf community that he was trying to blackmail us and that he was threatening to kill us, and he’d cease to be a problem.
Jax wanted to use the dhampirs to accomplish that.
I wasn’t so optimistic though. If we took Roger’s reputation and standing with the werewolf community, he’d have nothing left to lose. He’d probably end up coming after us with literally everything that he had. Nowhere would be safe from him. We’d be constantly living on the run, forced to never stay in one place for any significant amount of time.
What kind of life would that be?
I wasn’t sure what Quinten thought; he wasn’t being very forthcoming with his answers. We had to push and prod him to get him to even speak, and it was starting to worry me.
“Quinten, what’s wrong?” I asked, gently placing my hand on his back. “You’ve been really quiet these last few hours.”
He shrugged my hand off and I tried not to let it bug me. “Nothing’s wrong, Alanna.”
“Well, I don’t believe that for a second. There’s a homicidal maniac trying to kill me and everyone I love, including you. So, seriously, what’s wrong with you?” I asked, looking at him.
He stood up quickly and moved away from me. “I said nothing, Alanna. Just let it go!”
He stormed off and I tried not to show how hurt I was by his reaction.
“He’s worried.”
Ray’s voice startled me. He hadn’t spoken much either since breakfast. “What do you mean, he’s worried? We’re all worried.”
“He’s got more to worry about than just this current situation. He’s thinking about the future. His future.”
“Well, ok, but what else is there right now?”
“Kiddo, he was in the process of asking you what is possibly the most important question of his life, and he still doesn’t have an answer…”
The most important…oh!
“You think he’s worried because he and I haven’t talked about our future yet? It’s kind of hard to focus on when you might not live to see that future. I mean, we could be dead tomorrow and he’s worried about–”
“Yes, you could be dead tomorrow. Think about that,” Ray said, taking a spot next to Quinten in the kitchen.
I could be dead tomorrow, so I should give him my answer now? It made sense, but this was the most important decision of my life, and Quinten’s attitude wasn’t exactly helping my decision any.
It was so strange to think that just a couple of days ago, Quinten and I had been wrestling in the park, worrying about nothing in particular. Now, my sister was in an emotional downward spiral, someone was trying to kill me and everyone I loved and to top it all off, Quinten and I were possible mates. How much more could I handle right now?
With a sigh, I went to join everyone in the kitchen.
“Are we any closer to figuring out a plan?” I asked, ignoring my inner turmoil that involved my love life.
Ray shook his head. “No, we’re not. Jax just left to pick Ilene up from school. We’ll get to talking more after that.”
“Are we going to be free to talk with Ilene hanging around?”
Ray sighed. “I don’t think so. Alanna, what should I do? Is she a lost cause? Or is there still time to fix what I’ve screwed up?”
“Dad, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but there’s nothing you can do for Ilene, because you didn’t screw anything up. She’s made her choices, and they have nothing to do with your parenting, so stop blaming yourself.”
He smiled down at me and ruffled my hair. “At least I still have one daughter that loves me.”
“And I always will, Dad.”
Jax returned later with an unhappy Ilene. She stormed to her room and slammed the door shut in my face, refusing to so much as even look at me. I turned to Ray and shrugged. She obviously didn’t want to speak to us, and to be honest, I didn’t have a problem with that.
Nobody came up with any kind of plan that would work, and I settled in for bed later that night on the floor with Quinten again.
Feeling eyes on me, I glanced up. Ray stood in the doorway to his bedroom. He was watching the two of us, curled up on the floor together. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to; his eyes conveyed his question just fine.
Why are you two not together?
I slept fitfully that night. My dreams were filled with glowing eyes, flashing teeth, and screams of pain. Screams that I couldn’t help but notice sounded horribly like Quinten’s.
In the morning, I was slow to wake. Jax took Ilene to school; she refused to miss out on her social life just because some crazed werewolf wanted me dead.
I watched her go, realizing that she was truly lost, and nothing would be able to bring her back. It was strange to think that the little girl whose hair I used to braid and play dress-up with was never going to come back. What would mom have said if she could see me and Ilene today? Which of us would she have been more disappointed in?
I seriously needed to get out of the house, and Jax was happy to join me. The two of us decided to go for a run through the forest near our little home. I stripped in my bedroom, before shifting as I jumped out the window. When I landed on the ground, I was a sleek silvery gray wolf.
Jax joined me a minute later as a massive sandy blonde wolf that was much larger than I was. He let me take the lead, and he followed close behind. When we reached the oldest and largest oak tree in the forest, we stopped.
“Jax, I have so much on my mind right now it isn’t even funny. I don’t know what to do about any of it.”
“Is this about you thinking of becoming Quinten’s mate?”
“Does everybody know about that?” I asked, hoping that a wolf couldn’t blush.
“It’s obvious. You know you two act differently around each other than when you’re with anyone else.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t think you even realize it, but you two gravitate toward each other. When you’re with one another, you act like you’re the only two people in the world. I know you can’t see it, but we can, and it’s obvious that there’s something between the two of you.”
“But I don’t know if I can be his mate. We’ve been friends forever, and if things didn’t work out…I don’t know what I’d do. And besides, look at my dad. He married a human, hoping to have about sixty good years together, and she died a horrible death. Humans are so fragile. I don’t know if I could survive losing him like dad lost mom.”
Jax lifted his shoulders in a wolf shrug. “What if he could be the best thing to ever happen to you, and you’re too scared to take the chance because you might get hurt? I don’t know about you Alanna, but if my best friend and potential mate was as good looking and amazing as he is, I wouldn’t have a problem with taking a leap of faith.”
I looked at him, surprised. “You think Quinten’s good looking?”
“Of course, don’t you? He’s handsome, even among werewolves he’s good looking. He’s funny, charming, and he positively adores you.”
I came to a stop beneath an oak tree so that I could stare at him. “Well, if you think he’s so dreamy why don’t you date him?”
He scoffed. “I prefer darker and mysterious. He’s too straightforward for my taste.”
“Really?”
His tongue flopped out in a wolfish smile. “What, that surprise
s you?”
“I’ve always been kind of curious about your dream man,” I admitted shyly. It was something I’d wondered about for years.
“Tall, dark hair, light eyes, funny, charming, definitely handsome, and good in bed–”
“Jax!”
He shrugged again. “What?” He asked, not the slightest bit embarrassed. “Sex is a normal part of any healthy relationship. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
I shook my head. “I understand that, but you’re so comfortable talking about it with me. It’s a little strange.”
“Why?”
“I don’t really have anybody to talk to about stuff like that. Ilene’s fourteen, mom’s dead, and dad’s well…dad. Quinten’s pretty much my only other friend since I graduated, and he’s the one that this whole thing is about.”
“I wonder if he’s a virgin.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s never mentioned being with anybody, but if he was, I doubt he’d tell me.”
“Hmm, probably not. We should ask.”
“What? No we are not going to ask! It’s completely personal and if he wanted to tell me he would have.”
“I just think–”
“Can we please stop talking about sex?”
He grinned again. “If you want, prude.”
“I am not a prude; I just don’t want to talk about this with you.”
“Alright, we should probably head back now,” he said, looking around. “We got a little farther from home than I would have liked.”
I nodded and followed Jax back home. The entire time I thought about Quinten and his almost proposal. If I accepted, we’d be happy for however long he lived. But after he died…what would happen to me? Would I be left raising his children by myself? Would I enter a emotional downward spiral? Would I ever live a normal life without him?
I asked myself the same question I’d asked myself many times since the night of Roger’s dinner party. Would loving Quinten be worth the risk and eventual heartbreak?
A little bit I returned from my run with Jax. I hadn’t been able to figure everything out, but of one thing I was certain: I wanted to be Quinten’s mate.
Not this exact moment, but once everything was over and we were free to go about our lives, it would happen. He was my best friend and had been for many years. For some reason, I hadn’t noticed it shifting into something more than that.
The more I thought about our friendship, the more it seemed like we were boyfriend and girlfriend without actually dating. We were too close to one another to be just friends.
I found Quinten in Ray’s study. His fingers were gently brushing the pages of some book, and I wondered if it was in Braille. I knocked on the door and he looked up. “Alanna, did you need something?”
I smiled. “How do you always know it’s me?” He turned red, and my smile grew. “Come on, how do you always know?”
He shifted in his seat, obviously embarrassed. “I can smell your shampoo.”
“From the doorway?” I asked, surprised.
“Strawberry…” he let out a quiet moan, and his face turned even redder than before. He ducked his head and continued with his book.
“Quinten, we need to talk.”
He hesitated, before closing the book with a heavy sigh. “You finally have your answer.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“And?”
I took his hand gently in mine. “Quinten, I promise you, the very second that this is all over, you and I are going to sit down with Ray and arrange everything. I want to be your mate, Quinten; I just don’t want to have something else to think about right now. Plus, I want to actually go out on a date with you, like a normal person.
“I want to get used to thinking of you as something other than just my best friend before we do this. Besides, everything’s up in the air right now. I have one sure thing in my life right now and it’s your friendship. I don’t want that to change. Please say you understand?”
He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I understand, even if I don’t like it. And anyways, if you and I were to become mated now,” he blushed furiously, “It would just give Roger something else to use against you. I don’t want you to get hurt because your mind is on something else.”
I reached up and kissed him on the cheek, pleased at the warmth spreading through me. “I promise. Things are going to work out.”
He nodded. “I know,” he said, taking my hand. He gently rubbed soothing circles over it with his thumb. He took a deep breath. “You mean so much to me, Alanna. I’d use a different word if I didn’t think that it would terrify you.”
Love.
I looked away. “Quinten, right now we just need to focus on keeping each other alive. We’ll talk about all of this later.”
He nodded again. “Alright, let’s go. Ray’s probably been waiting for this forever,” Quinten took my hand in his and it felt…right. It was warm, soft, and perfect for mine.
Ray was seated in the living room chair. He looked up when I cleared my throat, and his eyes zeroed in on our joined hands. There was a second where nobody made any noise.
“It’s about damn time,” he muttered, returning to his book. I smiled and led Quinten over to the couch. “Did you guys talk everything through?”
“Not really. We’re gonna wait to do anything until after this is done. I don’t want anything to get in the way of our survival. It wouldn’t do us much good to be future mates if we don’t live long enough for it to actually happen.”
Ray smiled and nodded. “Good idea. But at least now you know how you feel about each other,” he looked at Quinten. “I agree that you should wait to sort everything out. Best to keep a clear head right now, but I will say this. Quinten, I’ll be proud to call you my son-in-law someday.”
I could practically feel the pleasure radiating off of Quinten. He smiled. “Thank you, sir.”
Ray snorted. “Don’t sir, me. You’re practically family now, and that was before you were going to marry my daughter. You know, it’s kind of strange, but I always expected to hate the father of my future grandbabies.”
“Dad!”
He waved me off. “Don’t you dad me. I’m enjoying what is possibly the only good thing to come out of this horrible week. Don’t go and ruin it for me. And besides, I didn’t say I hated Quinten, I just expected to. He’ll make a great father, I’m sure.”
“Oh, my god,” I held my head in my hands. “Could you please just stop talking now?”
Ray chuckled and I dragged a red-faced Quinten from the living room. “That went well,” he said, breaking the silence.
I stared at him. “It was easier than I thought it’d have to be when I was little. Ray really likes you. I think he’s glad that if I have to be with anyone, it’ll be you. He was right when he said that you were practically family now.”
Quinten didn’t say anything, and I squeezed his hand tightly.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s just that…I wanted to ask you that question for so long. Ever since you first told me what you were and I learned about your guys’ mates. I wanted that for us. I just wish I hadn’t waited so long. If I hadn’t,” he turned away from me. “We might have already been mated, and this whole thing with Roger would have never happened.”
“Quinten, I doubt that my having a mate would have stopped his plans for us. He probably would have just killed you and gotten his competition out of the way, never mind what losing you would have done to my soul.”
His hands were dry, but his voice betrayed his nervousness. “Are you sure you wanna wait? We might not make it through this. This could be our only chance to be together.”
He was so close and it felt wonderful feeling so protected and safe. “Quinten, all of those extra emotions will just get in the way, don’t you think? Right now we need to focus on surviving.”
“I understand what you’re saying, but I don’t think that’s the only reason you don’t want t
o do this now. Are you afraid that we won’t bond when we kiss? Is that what you’re worried about?”
I looked at him, and I could tell that he worried about the same thing. What if, after all of this was over and we were finally able to be together, we didn’t bond? Did he have to constantly worry that I would leave him to go looking for my true soul mate?
“Quinten–”
“I mean, I know that you feel the same way I do, or you wouldn’t have agreed to be my mate, but I can’t help but wonder if the day will come when you’ll meet some strange handsome werewolf who isn’t a blind clumsy human, and you’ll get the urge to bond with him. Where does that leave me? I don’t know if I could have you, only to lose you.”
I stared at him. “Quinten, what happens to me when you die? I’ll have you and then lose you forever. I’ll be just like Ray, raising our children as best as I can because it’ll be the closest thing to having you back in my life. Nothing about this is perfect, you have to understand that. I get what you’re worried about, but you don’t need to be worried, because I would never leave you for another man. Werewolves aren’t like that. We mate for life. No matter how long or short that life together is.”
He nodded once. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. I tapped it twice, our signal for him to follow me. “Come on; let’s go find something to do until we can think of a plan.”
The next morning, we were sitting around planning for the inevitable fight between us and Roger, when the phone rang. My first thought was that it would be Roger calling to offer me another deal, but then I quickly realized how stupid that was. I was dead to Roger now, and nothing was going to be able to change that. If he was calling, it would be to tell me he was going to kill me.
I got up and answered the phone, aware that everyone was listening closely. “Hello?”
“Hello there, my name is Miss Johnson. I’m a secretary in the school office. Who am I speaking to?”
“Alanna Moore,” I said, shrugging at Ray and Jax’s confused stares.
“I’m calling about your sister, Ilene–”
“What’s wrong? What happened?”
“I was hoping that you could tell me,” Miss Johnson sounded surprised. “She didn’t show up for school today, and I was just calling to check if she was sick this morning.”
I looked over at Ray, who was frowning. “No, Ilene wasn’t sick this morning. She left for school before I got up today. She’s really not there?”
“No, I’m afraid not. Have you noticed any changes in her behavior recently? Anything that might indicate where’s she’s disappeared to?”
Does changing into a gigantic beast count?
“I’m sure she just decided to play hooky with some friends. She’s been threatening to do it for a while, to be honest I’m surprised it’s taken this long,” I said, forcing myself to laugh as if my baby sister went missing everyday. “Don’t worry, she’ll be in class tomorrow, I promise.”
I could almost feel Miss Johnson’s disapproval. “She’d better be. I’ll have you know, Miss Moore, that we take truancy very seriously here. If this happens again someone will be notified.”
“Yes, I understand. Thank you.”
She hung up before I’d even finished speaking.
“Ilene didn’t show up for school?” Ray asked, getting to his feet.
“Dad, where are you going?”
“To kick down that bastard’s front door and get my daughter back.”
“Ray, we don’t actually know for sure whether Roger has her or not. If you show up there yelling like a raving lunatic, I’m sure he could find some way to use that against us. Just be calm and we’ll figure this out,” Jax said, trying to force Ray to sit.
I shook my head and went to our bedroom. “Maybe she left us a note or something.”
I searched through the entire bedroom and, when I was searching around her bed, finally found a folded piece of paper that had been left under Ilene’s pillow. Well, that’s not a good place to leave a note, I thought to myself.
I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach and, as I unfolded the paper, that feeling got worse.
Hello, love. You’re wrong if you think that our little spat earlier means I’m done with you. I told you the other night that I’m good at getting what I want. You didn’t seriously think that I got to where I am by playing nice, do you? Sometimes you have to put aside any misgivings you might have, and just do what needs to be done.
Misgivings? Doing what needs to be done?
As I’m sure you’ve noticed by now, Ilene’s not where she’s supposed to be. It was easy to snatch her from your bedroom. Everybody was busy fawning over you just like they always do. When I threatened to kill you, she didn’t even make a sound. She must still really love you deep down.
That bastard! How could he have taken her without being noticed though?
In case you were wondering, I’ve been watching your house. I have been ever since our fight. It just wouldn’t do for you all to pack up and leave me behind. If you want to see your sister alive, you’ll meet me at my place at one o’clock. Come alone or she dies. Tell anyone and she dies.
Remember Alanna, I’m watching you…
The note wasn’t signed and it didn’t need to be. I’d never really understood how in the movies anyone could actually keep something like this a secret from those they loved, but the second I saw those words…I’m watching you…I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I couldn’t tell Ray about the note. He’d take off to Roger’s house and get himself killed.
What was I supposed to do?
I’d just broken their faith in me by going out on my own. How disappointed would Ray be with me? What about Quinten? Would they ever forgive me?
I folded the note and tucked it into the pocket of my jeans and headed back out into the living room. “I’m sure she’s fine dad,” I said, forcing myself to lie. “She’s angry at everything and everyone; I doubt attending school is her top priority right now.”
“Did any of you see her leave this morning?” Ray demanded.
“No, Ray, I didn’t,” Jax admitted. “I just assumed she took off before we all got up this morning.”
Ray sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. I studied him while he thought. In the years since mom had died, his face had changed. Even though he didn’t age physically, his face had definitely gotten more tired looking. There were lines around his face that hadn’t been there when was mom was alive.
“Ray, what do you wanna do?” Jax asked.
“I don’t know. If she’s not home by the end of the school day, I’ll go out and look for her.”
The note in my pocket felt like it weighed a ton, and I felt even more ashamed than ever before. I almost told Ray, but decided to hold my tongue. There was nothing they could do except march up to Roger’s home and demand that he give Ilene back. That would only give Roger a chance to kill everyone that I loved. I couldn’t let that happen.
I spent the rest of the day helping Ray and Jax come up with some sort of game plan about Roger and Ilene. It didn’t do much good though; it seemed like we sat around doing nothing but planning. If we hadn’t come up with anything by now, we weren’t going to, simple as that.
When five o’clock came around and Ilene still hadn’t returned home, Ray went out to search for her. He took one of her old shirts out to the front porch, shifted, and took a deep whiff of it.
He shook his head to clear it and, darting off into the woods, began to follow Ilene’s scent. In human form I couldn’t tell how fresh the scent was, and I hoped it didn’t lead to Roger’s mansion.
Ray returned later, with a defeated look on his face. “I couldn’t find her. It looks like she made it to school, then left before first period. I lost her scent after that. Not that I could have followed her through town anyways.”
Something didn’t feel right about all of this. If Roger had managed to snatch Ilene from our room, righ
t from under our noses, how did her scent wind up in town? Was Ray following an older scent?
He would have been able to tell, right?