Carolyn Parker was popular in Pemota. The graduation rate at Pemota High was eighty percent and it was believed by parents that her Health Class was responsible. Every Sunday, she could be found at Father Muncie’s Roman Catholic Church. She often spoke to parents outside afterwards and today was no exception. But something was different today. And it wasn’t just her brand new cashmere sweater. Today, she needed to talk to Father Muncie.
She didn’t notice Brianna Lane watching her from a park bench forty feet away. She didn’t see Brianna move her eyes up and down from Carolyn’s carefully styled hair to her khaki pants as she put on a winter coat. She didn’t know Brianna was thinking Carolyn could have made the cover of Good Housekeeping. But she did know, as Brianna did, that beneath this cover was an issue filled with secrets.
Carolyn had been the health teacher at Pemota High for ten years. Prior to that she dabbled in heroin, numerous other drugs, and unprotected sex – everything she professed to be an expert on. Carrie Parker, her only daughter, now the same age as Brianna, was the love child of heroin addict Adler Angel. To gain the job at Pemota High, it took a few fables, and some half-truths. In truth, however, Carolyn had never gotten clean of Adler. It was the reason she worked so hard to educate her students about the dangers of drugs.
She’d told Father Muncie the truth about her past – how low she had sunk, that she worried her child would be born with birth defects, that she needed a methadone clinic, that sometimes she looked in the mirror and cried uncontrollably. He helped her pick herself up afterwards and they’d been friends for years.
“Hello Carolyn,” Edward Muncie said, as he approached her, having bid farewell to the church goers. “What is it?”
Carolyn lowered her voice, yet Brianna could hear. “There’s some rumor circulating about you. It’s very upsetting. The kids are saying you spoke to the Vatican and there’s going to be evil in this town.”
Edward lost the smile. “You’re kidding.”
“The ninth grade is buzzing about it.”
“I did say something like that.” Edward lowered his voice. “To Marv Core. Huxley Core is in Young Life and he started talking about getting a tattoo of a dog’s paw.” Young Life was the Sunday School for older boys. Edward sighed. “So I told Marv that whoever had that tattoo would bring iniquity to Pemota.” He shook his head. “I know it was wrong. Huxley’s out of control. Every week I hear from Megan, the head of Young Life, about something he’s said or done. And I’m sure you’ve seen that horrible newsletter.”
“Ed, you know how it is. They start talking about something and it doesn’t stop until everyone knows about it.”
“Can you tell them I misspoke.”
Carolyn nodded, for the first time noticing the cold air. She shrugged. “I’ll make something up.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just, you know, I want someone to do something about Huxley and I don’t know what else to do.”
“Well, there’s a bad apple in every basket.” She zipped up her coat.
Edward stood there for a few moments staring into space. “And how have you been?”
“Splendid.”
“I’m overjoyed,” Edward said.
They hugged.
“I’ll see you next week,” Carolyn said.
Edward smiled. “Wonderful.”
Carolyn walked off, then turned, and saw Brianna. Brianna was holding her favorite book Vladimir Nabokov’s, Lolita, which she had been reading in a coffee shop waiting until the end of mass. Brianna pulled her cardigan sweater around herself. She was wearing black rimmed glasses. The bookworm look was, of course, just an act.
“Ms. Parker,” Brianna said.
Carolyn smiled and raised her eyebrows. “Why, hello, Brianna. What are you doing here?”
The A- Brianna harbored so much animosity over, had never even occurred to Carolyn as a hindrance between them. When Carrie Parker delivered her valedictorian speech, Carolyn had long forgotten what she gave Brianna in Health Class. But to hear Brianna tell it, Carolyn was a thorn in the side of impartiality and she had to be taught a lesson.
“I’m home for a short while,” Brianna said, “And I thought I’d come listen to Father Muncie.”
“Did you enjoy the sermon?”
Brianna widened her eyes. “I did.” She crossed her arms over her chest with her book and smiled.
“And how is ... Leander is it? ... I heard you won some award in the Pemota Essay Contest. That must have been exciting.”
“Yes. They sent me two hundred dollars. And Leander ... is ... just perfect.”
“I don’t think we’ve seen each other since Ms. Nelson’s funeral.”
Ms. Nelson was an eighth grade science teacher who had hung herself after finding out her husband was cheating on her. Hundreds had attended her funeral.
“How tragic was that.”
“You knew her well.”
“I had Ms. Nelson for eighth grade science.” Easy coasting so far. “Ms. Parker you are so splendiferous. I would love to do something for you sometime.”
Ms. Parker nodded. “Well, let’s do lunch sometime. What are you doing now?”
“I have to go to work now. But do you have a student named Rey Naresh?”
“Yes. Rey Naresh is in my C period class.”
“He’s dating my sister Christy.”
“Well,” Ms. Parker said. “I think they make a cute couple.”
“Yes. Well, I’ll be leaving now. I have to be at work. I hope to see you again soon.”
“Certainly,” Ms. Parker said.
Brianna had done her homework. Carolyn’s acquaintances, and colleagues yielded little information. But, low and behold, her therapist at Leander was an old friend of Carolyn’s and had spilled the beans. Adler had burnt one of his eyeballs while high, and shot himself in the head. Carolyn had thought of having an abortion and even joined a support group. It was enough ammunition. A visit to the local library and Brianna was more than well-equipped to settle the score.
----
It seemed hopeless, trying to find Frank Brule downtown, on a chilly Sunday. Rey was recalling how Frank had grabbed him by the collar and said, “Avocadonine,” at the beginning of the school year. They had had one other encounter. When Rey was in sixth grade, Frank had tried to introduce himself to Rey. Rey walked away frightened. Maybe, for whatever reason, Frank Brule wanted to meet Rey Naresh. It was worth it to Rey to understand the truth either way.
Rey had walked all around town. It was cold and he wanted to give up. He had gone into Benson's Tools and Lulu's Art Gallery causing confusion among the owners. He had walked down alleyways and even picked up an old newspaper out of sheer boredom. After a couple hours passed, he decided that today was not his day. At 1:30, he was sitting in front of Sam’s Pizza Express looking at the Pemota Water Tower. The Pemota Water Tower was half a mile-away, one hundred and twenty feet high, and stenciled in big green writing was the word: Pemota.
He felt someone had hit him when he heard a voice behind him. “Boy-o. Boy-o. I wonder if it’s in there.”
Rey turned and saw Frank Brule. Frank was wearing a brown leather jacket and a green sweater. Rey remarked that he really had no reason for thinking Frank was homeless. He’d just always assumed he was. Frank looked far away like he was lost in some dream.
“I'm Rey Naresh.”
When Frank didn’t move Rey looked back at the water tower. What did Frank mean? He wondered if what was in there? Rey decided asking about it would be an impolite way to start a conversation and he said, “I'll buy you lunch if you talk to me.”
Frank snapped out of it, then motioned with his head to a restaurant. It was Au Bon Avocado -- a health food restaurant that utilized such a name to capitalize on Pemota’s pride in their popular export. “It’s my favorite restaurant,” Frank said. Then he chuckled as if the truth of this statement wasn’t all that important to him.
They walked into Au Bon Avocado which resembled a frat homes basement. Draping blue tapestries on the ceiling and yellow stained glass lamps, reminded Rey of a basement he’d seen on television. The only thing it was missing was a pool table. A sign in front of them read Please Seat Yourself. They did.
“Actually lad,” Frank said, as he picked up a menu from the edge of the table, “I’m famished.”
“Good food here?”
“Best damn tofu kabob's on this street in Pemota.” Frank chuckled, then sobered up and looked out the rice paper covered window thoughtfully. Then he turned a suspicious eye on Rey. “How’d you get here?”
“My Mom dropped me. She was driving a red Saturn Ion. Maybe you saw her. She’s at The Pemota Gazette now.”
“Ah, Naresh, right? Isabel? Wrote the article on the new administration?”
“Yeah. I read it too.”
“Missed some key points. Some minor oversights. But a decent article. Lots of quotes.” Then Frank turned a suspicious eye on him. “What’d ya think about that administration there?”
“Principal Laurie is kinda lame.”
“Yeah, well, you don’t know the half of it.”
“You hear about the graffiti?”
“Graffiti? Yeah. I heard about it. Didn’t do it.”
“How could you have done it?”
“Don’t know who did it.” He looked out the window. A couple people walked by looking like a Monet painting through the rice paper. “Nice to have someone to do things for you.”
Rey wasn’t sure what he meant. “What do you mean?”
“Your Mom, dropping you in town. Got my dog, Buster, brings in the paper. Gotta do the rest myself. Gonna go to Las Vegas though. Reunite with my ex.”
“When are you going to Las Vegas?”
“Soon. Won ten of my last twenty scratch tickets. Told myself that when my luck was good, I’d go. Luck’s good.”
A waitress walked up to the table wearing a green hat and a blue sleeved shirt.
“My usual. And a beer, whatever you've got on tap,” Frank said.
Frank and Rey handed her their menus. “The same,” Rey said.
Azami, the waitress, laughed. “No beer. Sorry.”
Rey shrugged.
“You drink beer do you?”
“Sometimes. I’m not an alcoholic or anything.”
Frank laughed. “Funny when a high school student has to quantify it. Thought to leave that to the grown ups.”
“Who’s your ex?” Rey asked.
“Her name was Ada. Ada Brule.”
Rey furrowed his eyebrows confused over the difference between Ada and Aba. Strange coincidence. He felt his Adam’s apple bob.
“She got a cottage once. We parted company and she, um, she got a new place to live. And I don’t know what she was up to. She never explained it to me. I didn’t live with her for some time. But we were together for years.”
“So where do you live? Are you homeless?”
Azami placed their meals in front of them. She gave Rey a
Coke and said, “On the house.”
“Thankyou,” Rey said.
“No. I was absent without leave once. Almost as bad as being homeless. In the Cold War. Front lines in the Cold War. Got shot in the gut with a shotgun. So I fell and lay there pretending to be dead. I had to put pressure on the wound without showing any signs of movement. Barely got patched up in time.”
Rey was aware this story made no sense. “Wasn’t the Cold War just about our attitude with the USSR?”
“Something like that. Anyways, the point is, if you’re ever shot in a war pretend to be dead.”
“Hmmm. Sounds like good advice.” Rey took a sip of his Coke feeling this was going nowhere fast.
“After that they wanted me to participate in a study. I get weekly injections. When I get the injections it has an effect on my mind.”
Rey decided Frank was trying to size him up – wondering if he was someone who he should share his secrets with. Rey wanted him to know he was. “I knew someone that wasn’t named Ada, but Aba. Kinda similar. She lived in a cottage too. Up on Mount Monadnock.”
“Yes. Maybe her name was Aba.” Frank chuckled and slammed his fist down on his fork sending it flying into the seat next to Rey.
“What’s Avocadonine?” Rey asked.
“What?”
“Avocadonine.”
“Ah, yes. Avocadonine. Sounds like a type of medication. Doesn’t it.”
“Why did you say it?”
“Sometimes these feelings come over me and I say things. Don’t know why.”
“Someone wrote it on the school.”
“Ah yes, that graffiti.” Frank leaned in and said, “Who are you?”
Rey guessed Aba had told Frank something – maybe about a Hispanic boy. “I got a psychic consultation from someone named Aba Brule when I was in seventh grade. She talked about something called the ...”
“Avocadites?” Frank said. Now Frank and Rey were on the same lilly pad.
Rey nodded.
“Hmmm. I think I see.”
“So who are they? Are they aliens or something?”
“Nope. Nope. Not aliens.” He rearranged his silverware. “Tell you what. I oughta be going. You can have my tofu kabobs. Aba got that cottage because she said she was working on something Top Secret. Wouldn’t tell me what.”
“So Aba wasn’t psychic.” Rey’s tone fell.
“She told me someday I’d meet a boy and to give him something. I think that’s you lad.”
“What did she want you to give me?” Rey was thrilled.
Frank opened his backpack and withdrew a vile of purple liquid. “I’ve got some of the stuff. The Avocadonine.” He handed him a glass vile the size of a grown man’s middle finger with a wooden cork in it.
“Cool,” Rey said.
“But if you want to be a real trooper you’re gonna need this.” And from his backpack he withdrew a syringe.
----
Brianna Lane was managing two lives. At Leander, she was writing editorials, climbing the status ladder in student senate, dating a few members of the senior class, and maintaining a 3.8 GPA. In Pemota, she was interviewing Carolyn’s acquaintances, working at Lots for Little’s, and getting to know certain members of the ninth grade. Although Radelle didn’t know how Brianna juggled all these responsibilities, or exactly what her motives were regarding her acquisition of fifty bottles of Mountain Springs water that she kept in her room, it was plain to see that it was no accident Brianna often thought of herself as the queen of Leander.
It was a placid and dour Tuesday. On the Ponderosa Pine, sparrows stared blankly out into Pemota High’s parking lot. She walked towards the red doors to the school, thinking winter was preparing for a storm that would erase the memories of milder days. She pulled down her shirt so her breasts looked perky and thought about her attire one last time. She was wearing bootleg jeans, and an open jean jacket, along with yellow rimmed glasses.
In her right hand she held a red manila file folder. The folder contained four newspaper clippings chronicling the tragic stories of Carolyn Parker and Adler Angel. In addition, she had included several papers explaining her intentions as a member of Environmental Friends – a local non-profit organization that used its money and influence to preserve Pemota’s lakes and parks. Brianna had even spoken to a member of Environmental Friends to make sure her documentation was as legitimate in appearance as possible.
“Yoshi, Maurice, and Rob are absent,” Ms. Parker was saying. “Who will make some calls tonight?”
Annette raised her hand. “I will Ms. Parker.”
“Thank you, Annette.”
Rey hadn’t seen Christy in a few days. Mr. Chandon had sat with him, Fynn, and Mike, – cracked some jokes about Miss Calida – and made a few remarks to Rey about sleeping around and herpes. Meanwhile, R
ey was missing his girlfriend. Christy said they spent so much time together she was neglecting her other friends, so she deserted him for the girls table. Last time they were at the reservoir, Christy told Rey about Brianna’s “spic and span” comment. Rey hadn’t liked Brianna for the simple reason that Christy didn’t. But now he really had a good reason not to like her.
Annette was speaking, “if they have a condom they are more likely to do it.”
Each student had been assigned to prepare some remarks about condom distribution. Ms. Parker had distributed them last class.
“Yeah,” Blair Carlyle said, “But it’s better they do it with a condom, if they are going to do it regardless.”
Len Mears said, “I had sex yesterday with my new condom, while shooting up, and applying for a handgun.”
“Thank you, Len. But this is a serious discussion,” Ms. Parker said. She smoothed out her long jean skirt and took a seat. She wore a red v-neck blouse.
Brianna stood outside confirming for the second time that voices could not be heard through the thick wooden door. She waited. She had prepared a set of questions and statements in her mind similar to a Choose Your Own Adventure book. If Rey chooses to fight back blackmail him then turn to page 78. And so on. If her thinking was correct she’d thought of every possible avenue.
She breathed in to quiet her nerves and opened the door.
“It’s Brianna Lane,” Len Mears said. He was sitting in the corner of the horseshoe arrangement of desks. They all knew who Brianna Lane was. She was famous for being every boy’s junior high and high school dream girl.
“What can we help you with Brianna?” Ms. Parker said.
“Hi Ms. Parker.” She waved at the class. “Hi everyone. I’m doing some recruiting work for Environmental Friends. And we are interested in finding high school students. Looks great on a college application, right?”
“Fabulous,” Ms. Parker said. “We’re having a discussion but it can wait a few minutes. Is that all the time you’ll require Brianna?”
Brianna smiled. “I’m sure it will be.”
Ms. Parker looked at the folder Brianna held in her hands. “Is this a company sponsored visit?”
“It is.” Brianna took a handout out of her folder and gave it to Ms. Parker.
Ms. Parker looked over the handout, it was done with Photoshop and printed in black and white. It looked legit. “Well, I will surrender my post.”
“Actually,” Brianna said, “I’m supposed to ask the teacher to leave the room. Our research shows that students volunteer to impress their teachers and we don’t want them to feel any unfair pressure to do so.”
“Well, I’ll be right outside.”
Brianna smiled and sat on the desk as Ms. Parker left the room. “Only six people in this class. Surprising.”
“Three are absent,” Darice Switley chimed in happily.
“What are your names?” Brianna asked. She turned to the corner on her right.
“I’m Blair Carlyle.” The girl fluffed her hair.
As they began to go around the room introducing themselves, Rey considered lying about his name. He knew Brianna probably knew his name, but not his face.
“I’m Darice, but people call me Dara.”
Annette took another spoonful of pasta salad, using this break in class to have her lunch early. “Annette Oslow. I’m friends with your sister, Christy.”
“Oh,” Brianna said.
“I’m Rey.”
Brianna’s eyes widened as if uncovering a scandal. “The boyfriend.” She turned to Fynn.
“Fynn.” He had his head on his desk and gave a two-fingered salute.
“Len Mears,” Len said, formally.
“Well, my name is Brianna. And I have a business proposition for you. You do something for me, I do something for you. First off, however, I wanted to tell you that your lovely health teacher is a hypocrite.” She opened the folder and began passing around the newspaper clippings. The class was silent as people began to read. “Ms. Parker used to be a heroin addict,” Brianna explained. “Carrie Parker is the love child of a man named Adler Angel. He killed himself and Ms. Parker has been living a lie ever since. So much for leading by example.”
“Whoa,” Blair said.
Annette smiled. “I say we smoke her out when she comes back in the room. That way she knows we’re down.”
“Can’t she hear?” Blair asked, pointing to the door.
Brianna shook her head. “It’s soundproof. I’m going to go public with the story. Ms. Parker is a terrible person. And I think it’s time someone did something about it.”
“Ms. Parker is one of the most important teachers at Pemota High,” Rey said.
Brianna ignored the comment. “As a goodbye party, I’d like the six of you to meet me in the woods behind the school during C period after the B period fire drill on December 7th. My Mom dances to my tune, as I’m sure your aware, Rey, and if you decide to go your own way, I’ll make sure Christy has to break up with you.”
“I thought you said there was something in it for us,” Len said.
“There is,” Brianna said. “I work at Lots for Little’s. Now, at the risk of sounding immature, I get discounts. Sometimes including the five finger one. Although I won’t be stealing anything of a particularly high value. How would you guys like to own a Sky Warrior?”
“What’s a Sky Warrior?” Blair asked.
“They’re these helicopter toys,” Brianna said, “They fly by remote control. They’re so cool. In addition, you will be graced by my indebtedness to you. I’m not a bad person to have owe you something as I’m sure your aware. And I will return the favor at a time of your choosing.”
“What do you want us to do in the woods?” Rey asked.
“You’ll see on December 7th. If you decline, I’ll be forced to definitely get Ms. Parker fired, have Rey break up with Christy, and get my revenge against the six of you some other way. It’s a pretty simple decision.”
Rey nodded. “All right.” If Radelle turned against him, Christy would have to dump him in snap. It had taken an entire ten minute stroll around the reservoir for Christy to make her point about Radelle’s favoritism clear.
“Do I have your acquiescence,” Brianna asked the class.
The class agreed, as Brianna picked up her newspaper clippings. She opened the door and Ms. Parker came back in. “Thank you, Ms. Parker. I’ll be leaving now.”
“Well, it was lovely to see you again.”
“You as well. Say ‘hi’ to Carrie for me.”
“Very well.”
Brianna closed the door behind her and hurried down the hallway feeling elated. It had gone even more painless than she had planned.
Ms. Parker took her seat. She couldn’t help but notice the shifty eyes and nervous dispositions. So she sat silently, and stared at her students.
“Ms. Parker,” Annette said, “what do you think about condom distribution in school?”
Ms. Parker smiled, a look of sadness in her eyes. “It doesn’t appear as if you’ve had a boring visit. Why don’t you tell me what you all and Brianna really spoke about.”
A half a minute passed. Then, they did.