Chapter Fifteen
Tara, Morgan, and I all get ready for the dance together. The two of them both have their hair curled and pinned up on their heads, while I can’t even really brush mine because it’s so short. But I don’t let it get me down, because I even though my hair is short, I still look beautiful, and definitely like a woman.
The heels make me almost five foot nine, and I feel strange. Morgan and Tara are the same height and, with their heels, they’re still a couple of inches shorter than me. Even though they’re a little shorter than me, they’re definitely not any less beautiful. The two of them look great, and for the first time since meeting her, Morgan actually looks happy.
We head down to the gym, and meet up with Andrea and Austin at the double doors. Andrea looks stunning in her dress, even though she is a little on the heavy side, and she gives us all a quick glance before looking away.
Now that Tara’s told me about Andrea and Travis, I can’t help but notice some of the things she’s done and said in the past. Before, I took them as her unwillingness to open up to others, but now I think it might be something more like superiority.
She thinks she’s better than us.
Austin looks charming and cute in his black button-up shirt and dark blue tie. It makes his eyes pop, and he gives me a lopsided grin. “Well, don’t you ladies all look ravishing tonight?”
We giggle, and Tara takes his offered arm. I take the other, and Morgan links her arm through my free one. Together, the four of us, plus Andrea, enter the gym and our first dance at Daray Hall.
The gym has been completely redecorated so that I hardly recognize it, and I spend almost three hours in it everyday. There are no paper streamers or fake paper decorations that make a dance look like a jungle, or a forest, or the ocean. Our old school was famous for its clichéd dance themes, and this does not fit with my expectations.
There are rows and rows of white and blue lights strung up all over the gym, giving off a soft glow that bathes everything. Golden balloons are floating randomly around the room, and every so often one will reflect the lights. Some have floated up to the ceiling, creating a golden view.
Soft music is playing while the rest of the residents arrive, and it draws me in and I feel myself starting to sway to the beat. Everything looks like a party out of a fairytale, and I don’t ever want to leave this beautiful place.
Soon the music changes and everyone starts to dance. There are groups of single girls that are huddled together dancing with one another, and they don’t look the slightest bit upset that they don’t have dates. Our group is pretty much the exact same, because none of us have dates.
Andrea might, but I’m not sure Travis will want to be seen in public view with her.
I sway back and forth to the music, just letting it take over my body completely. My eyes are closed against the soft light of the gym, and right now I’m so happy that I don’t care if anyone is watching me, sneering at my back, or whispering about me. I’m just happy that I’m here with my best friend, my new friends, and myself.
I don’t need anyone else.
“You look happy.”
My eyes snap open, and I look over to see Kaven staring at me with a smile on his face. He’s wearing more clothing than I’ve ever seen him in before: a black long-sleeved button-up shirt, a red tie, and black slacks. He looks so mature and handsome, and I’m surprised to find butterflies stirring in my stomach.
I notice that while I’m looking him over, he’s busy looking me over. When he’s done with his appraisal, his eyes lift to mine, and he raises an eyebrow. “You look beautiful.”
“You sound surprised,” I accuse, stepping closer. “Why is that?”
He shrugs. “I guess I was just thinking I’d get the same sweaty, driven, fighter that trains with me every day.”
“You know, I’m perfectly capable of being girly. I know I don’t look like it, but I’m really not the butch kind of girl.”
He laughs, and moves closer. I can smell his aftershave, and it’s doing crazy things to me. “I know you’re not butch. Even with that short haircut you’re still a beautiful girl. In fact, I think you might be even more beautiful now; it shows off your strong, angular facial features.”
“You think I’m beautiful?” I can’t keep the question from escaping and, the second it does, I look away, embarrassed.
I can practically feel him grinning. “Yeah, I do. You’re beautiful, even if nobody else sees it, yourself included.”
I have the strangest urge to giggle like a little girl, and that just makes him smile even more. I can’t believe the way this conversation is actually going. Am I flirting with Kaven? Do I even know how to flirt with a boy?
“Do you wanna dance?” he asks, completely surprising me.
I hesitate, because he’s my trainer. What if things went badly and after tonight he never wants to speak to me again. Nobody else would even consider training me except for Carlos, and I don’t want to take away his time with the others.
“Come on, Kylie. It’s just a dance.”
I nod, and take his outstretched hand. He pulls me close to his chest as a slow song starts, and I wrap my arms around his neck. His hands drift down my back, but it doesn’t feel like he’s trying to grope me, so I feel myself begin to relax in his arms.
I place my head on his chest, and he bends his head down until we’re touching. He’s not much taller than me while I’m wearing heels, but dancing with him doesn’t feel awkward like I thought it would. Instead, I feel oddly safe and reassured, which is a strange, new feeling for me.
His hands shift to my hips, and I can feel myself start to immediately tense up. Maybe I’m wrong about him, and he’s just showing me what he thinks I want to see.
“Kylie? Would you do me a favor? Relax, ok. I don’t bite. Yet,” he whispers directly into my ear. I feel a pleasant shiver travel up my spine, and the butterflies begin flittering up a storm in my stomach. I’ve never felt this way with anyone, not even Tara, and I have actual, tangible feelings for her.
Does this make me a slut? To like two people at the same time?
After our fourth song starts, I pull my attention away from Kaven long enough to notice others watching us dance. Tricia is the first person I notice, and she’s glaring at me in such a way that I half expect to burst into flame at the intensity of her hatred.
Among the others watching us with interest are Tara, Chloe, and Travis. There are a couple more Protectors watching, one of which is Kaven’s friend Markus. I’ve seen them hanging around together quite a bit, and I wonder if he disapproves of the two of us dancing now.
His face is pretty blank, but I think I catch a hint of glee, which causes me to rethink my choice to dance with Kaven. He seems like a sweet, genuine person…when he’s alone with me. He pretends to be a jerk other times, and now I’m thinking about a previous fight with myself that I’ve had before.
Which is the real Kaven? The sweet guy that tells me to never give up? Or the shallow jerk that won’t date anyone less than an eight on the hotness scale?
Pretty I may be, but an eight I definitely am not. What could he possible want with me?
He whispers in my ear again, halting my inner turmoil. “Let’s go for a walk.”
“Alright.”
I expect him to let go of my hand as we head for the door, but he doesn’t. He twines his fingers through mine, and it feels so right, so natural, that I’m tempted to never let go of him. A pang of guilt courses through me at the thought of Tara, but I push her from my mind, knowing that she can’t feel the same way about me as I do her.
Kaven leads me out through the gymnasium doors, and together we take a stroll through the wisteria trees. Long strings of white lights have been woven through the bunches of purple flowers, and they seem to glow. I thought the gym was beautiful, but this garden is beyond belief.
Kaven and I just hold hands and walk through the trees, and I almost feel like a fairy princess. But I’m not a f
airy princess; I’m a vampire princess…
Suddenly, I start to giggle and Kaven smiles down at me. “What’s so funny?”
I shake my head. “Nothing.”
“Come on, you can tell me. I promise I won’t laugh.”
He’s already smiling, so I don’t believe him, but I tell him anyways. “I was just thinking that this beautiful place makes me feel like a fairy princess, but then I remembered that I’m not a fairy, I’m a vampire.”
“Hmm, a vampire princess? That’s definitely not something you see every day. But to be honest, I’d rather have a vampire princess than a fairy one. Vampires seem cooler than fairies.”
“Don’t they? When I think of fairies I think of prissy little people with see-through wings, and music and festivities. When I think of vampires, I think of dungeons, moats, castles, passion, secrets, and mystery.”
Kaven grins. “Wow, I like that kind of vampire. It reminds me of Dracula, all dark, brooding, and mysterious. Chicks dig that kind of guy, right?”
I smack his arm playfully, surprised by how easy it is to not only be myself with him, but actually flirt like I know what I’m doing. “Not all chicks like that serious, brooding type of guy. In fact, I don’t really. I prefer an open, honest guy that can be who he really is around me. And I want to be able to be myself with him. I don’t wanna have to be ashamed of who I am.”
Kaven’s watching me with an interested look on his face. I can’t tell if he thinks I’m crazy, or maybe wishful. Maybe he thinks I’m stupid for wanting that, like he thinks it doesn’t actually exist. Does it? Is that kind of guy actually out there, waiting for me to find him?
Kaven pulls me so close that I can feel his heart beating, and my heart begins to race in anticipation to what I know is coming. He lowers his head and his lips stop just shy of mine. I can feel the heat from his body, and smell his masculine scent, and I want more than anything for him to kiss me.
Finally, after what feels like ages of painful waiting, he presses his lips to mine. This kiss is so much different than our first. This time, I know he’s as into the kiss as I am, because his hand gently fists into my hair and he pulls me as close as possible. My nerves are humming in pleasure, and my entire body melts against his.
I’ve only ever been kissed once before, when I surprised Kaven with my awkward lunge, and this is a thousand times better. Even though I’m not entirely sure what to do, Kaven stays patient with me, and he does most of the work. All I have to do is stand there and enjoy the greatest moment of my life.
Too soon the kiss is over, and I’m left wanting more. The ache in my stomach is painful, and I feel like I might burst if I don’t get another kiss, but I’m not sure how to go about it. Do I just kiss him again and hope he responds? Or should I wait for him to kiss me again?
He smiles, and kisses me a second time, and it’s as amazing as the first. One of his hands is at the small of my back, and he’s gently rubbing circles there, warming not only my back, but my heart as well. In this perfect moment, I’m falling head over heels in love with someone who’s almost a stranger, and it doesn’t seem the slightest bit odd.
I can finally understand how girls claim to fall in love in an instant.
Kaven kisses me again and again, until it gets to the point where I’m dizzy and lightheaded. My legs feel like they’re made of jell-o, and if his arms weren’t around me so tightly and protectively, they’d give out from beneath me.
After a few minutes, he pulls away, and we’re both completely breathless. My lips feel swollen, and they’re throbbing in a sort of pleasurable pain. It makes me hungry for more of his sweet, passionate kisses. In this instant, I realize that I’ll gladly do anything for just one more tender kiss.
He kisses my cheek, my jaw, and down my neck until he reaches my ear. Then he whispers, “My room is right over there,” he says, nodding his head toward the Protector’s barracks.
My head is so clogged by passion and lust that I can barely think straight, let alone realize the implications of what he’s suggesting. I just nod my head, hoping it’ll get me one more kiss before the night is over.
Like the two of us are in an old-time romance movie, Kaven picks me up and carries me bridal-style to his room in the Protector’s barracks. He plants soft, feather-light kisses on every inch of my face that he can reach.
He kicks the door closed behind him, and then he gently sets me down on his bed. When he climbs on top of me, I don’t even think about it. He starts to kiss my neck, and his hand grips my thigh and starts to slide up under my dress. He’s moving his mouth lower and lower, until his face is just inches away from my breasts.
Kaven moans against my neck, and he begins thrusting against my thigh. His breathing is shallow and fast, and I can tell he’s concentrating really hard. One of his hands squeezes my breast, and that one action snaps me out of my foggy lust-filled haze, and I realize what I’m about to do with a stranger.
Pushing Kaven’s chest, I slide out from under him and jump to my feet. My entire body is trembling from desire, fear, and passion. I’m not sure what I want, but I know that I’m not ready to make this decision. It’s such an important one, and I can’t go back and redo this night if I come to regret it.
Kaven is breathing harshly, and his eyes are dark and intense with desire. He looks confused, and I don’t blame him. Everything happened so fast I can’t even think straight. Was I just about to have sex with Kaven? What’s the matter with me? I’m not that kind of girl!
I’m so freaked out that I’m tempted to just turn around and run back to my room. I want to hide my head and cry because I almost had sex with a stranger. Or laugh, because Kaven obviously likes me as more than a trainee or friend.
Doesn’t he?
“Kylie? I’m sorry I got carried away. You’re just so, so, amazing.”
I shake my head and start backing away to the door. “Kaven, I have to go.”
“Kylie, wait!”
I don’t listen. Instead, I turn around and run all the way back to my room. I pass Tara and the others back in the gym, and they call out, asking me to stop and tell them what’s wrong, but I don’t listen to them, either. I’m not sure what to think about myself right now, but I know I don’t want anyone to see me.
When I finally get back to my room, I take off my dress, pull on a pair of pajamas, and slide into bed. When my blanket is pulled up all the way over my face, I finally burst into tears, because I don’t know how my night started off so wonderful and turned out so confusing.