Chapter Ten
Two days later
The night was hot and sticky as I lay back on my verandah swing. It gently rocked me back and forth with the occasional breeze rolling around the corner of the house, cooling me for a moment. As I lay there, I stared up to the stars in the night sky. I thought of Michael, and I wondered if he was up there staring down at me, watching over me. I knew the stars were nothing more than suns for other solar systems, but I took comfort in believing the people I loved most were at peace. I thought of him and my beautiful Sasha often, but the memories were no longer filled with pain and emptiness. Instead of being saddened by their absence, I would smile when a memory passed through my mind.
“You would have liked them, Spud.” I patted his head as he lay stretched out under the swing.
As I lay there, I thought of Derrek. I smiled as I remembered how he had gently held my hand. I closed my eyes and drew a deep breath of the night air as I tried to conjure the forest scent that lingered on him. I could almost feel his lips pressing against mine. I did not understand why I had been so drawn to him; perhaps it was my subconscious telling me it was time to move on.
Spud sat up quickly and barked once towards the driveway. The low rumble of a motor and a set of headlights signalled the approach of a car coming down the drive.
“Who’s visiting us tonight, Spud?” I remained on the verandah trying to make out who might be driving out here at this time of night. It was dark, so all I could make out was the shadowy vehicle slowly rolling into my front yard before coming to a stop. I heard the car door open and then close. Spud started barking and running in circles, clearly agitated by the arrival. I could hear one pair of feet crunch on the gravel as they walked closer to the house.
“Hello?” A deep voice spoke.
I didn’t move. It can’t be!
“Hello, Alexandra?” he called again.
I stood at the top of the stairs. His face was revealed as he moved into the glow cast by the verandah light.
“Derrek?” All I could do was stare at him, eyes wide in surprise. “But, I thought you were going to be away for a week?”
Without speaking a word, he walked up the steps to the verandah, took my hand in his and kissed the back of it.
“I had to see you again.” He slipped his hand across my cheek and pulled the nape of my neck closer to him.
His lips had almost touched mine, when Spud ran between us, arching his back and baring his teeth, snapping at Derrek’s feet.
“Spud!” I growled at him.
He ignored me, pulling his ears back as he continued to snap at Derrek’s feet.
“Spud! That’s it!” I grabbed him by the collar and dragged him towards his pen. Spud continued to snarl and bark at Derrek even as I pushed him into the pen and shut the gate.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but that’s enough! Bad dog!” I growled and turned to walk back towards the house. I could hear him barking as he tried to scale the pen. “I am so sorry about that—he’s never done that before.” I put my hands in my back jeans pockets and walked up the steps to the verandah, where Derrek stood.
“I am a stranger to him. It is wise to fear strangers.” He folded his arms as he spoke.
“Well, you’re not much more than a stranger to me. Should I take your advice too?”
He pulled a small smile. “I hope to be much more than just a stranger to you.”
Within an instant, blood rushed to my face, as my heart bounced at his inference. I stuttered and darted my eyes from him to the ground, hoping he hadn’t noticed my awkward blush. “Would ... would you like to come in for a drink, or something?”
“I would like that.”
“Okay,” I smiled. It had been such a long time since I had felt the sensation of butterflies in my stomach; I welcomed the almost forgotten feeling of excitement that attraction could generate.
He pushed the front door open. “Ladies first,” he said as he stood with his arm holding the door wide for me to pass.
“Thanks,” I said, trying to sound as calm as possible as I brushed past him to walk into my home.
My front door opened straight into the lounge room. In the centre of the room sat a rustic coffee table that had been made by a local craftsman; on it stood a thick white stone vase. Because I lived alone, the only couch I had was a two-seater that ran the length of the window. I didn’t spend much time at home, so I never bothered to update my furnishings. The television was more than two decades out of date.
“It’s not much, but its home.” I put my hands in my pockets and shrugged my shoulders.
“What’s that?” He pointed to a crossbow that hung above the television.
“Ha, that’s kind of an embarrassing story.” I tucked my hair behind my ears.
He lifted his eyebrows as a smile spread across his face. “They are my favourite.”
“Right, well about a year or so ago, I watched a movie ... can’t remember what it was now ... but anyway, in the movie there was this amazing woman. She went on incredible adventures. She was strong, sexy; men fell over themselves to be with her, and she had a crossbow.” I gestured to the one on the wall. “So, one weekend Andy and I went on a road trip and one of the towns we went through had an op shop open. We went in, and I found this behind a heap of junk. I thought of the woman in the movie and decided, ‘Yeah! I can be just like her’.” I laughed. I felt ridiculous even suggesting it.
“And are you? I mean, can you use it?” he asked with seemingly genuine interest.
“Yeah, but I suck. I can hardly even cock it. Andy has some terrible photos of me attempting to shoot it somewhere. It had just been sitting around in the shed for ages, so I decided to put it on the wall.”
“It looks very old and very beautiful,” he said with his eyes fixed on the crossbow. “What does that symbol represent?”
“No idea. I mean, I didn’t pay very much for it, so I don’t think it means anything—just decorative. I can get it down if you would like to have a look?”
“Yes, I would like that,” he smiled.
I dragged a dining chair from the adjoining dining room and climbed on it. I gently lifted the bow from its hanger and passed it down to him. “This is an incredible find,” he said, slowly taking it from me. His hand hovered above the bow for a moment, as though he was reading the inscription.
“Well, I like it. It came with these too.” I pulled open the drawer of the television unit and picked out three silver bolts. The heads on the bolts had tiny engravings delicately scribed on each.
“Why do you not have them together?” he asked as he accepted the bolts from me.
“What do you mean?” I frowned.
“They fit in here.” He slid one after another into a small casing attached to the back of the bow.
“Oh my God! How could have I not seen that?” I took the bow from him and looked at the back of the crossbow; there were five perfectly shaped notches, designed to hold one bolt each. “I wonder where the other two bolts are,” I said as I ran my fingers over the smooth, empty notches.
“You do not know?” He seemed surprised.
I shook my head. “No, it only came with three. Andy ordered some bolts for me off the internet. The plan was to use the cheap bolts until I was a good enough shot to use these ones. And there’s a reason they still look new.” I smiled as I put the crossbow on the coffee table.
“You have never looked into the origins of the bow?” he asked, not taking his eyes off it.
“Well, kind of. Andy took photos and scanned them to his computer. He scoured the internet for some ungodly number of hours but didn’t find anything. As I said, I didn’t pay much for it. My best guess is that it’s nowhere near as old as it looks; I would say someone who had a lot of time on their hands made it.” My nerves slowly began to subside as we conversed. “Anyway, I was getting you a drink.” I turned to walk towards the kitchen.
As I went to move past him, I felt his hand clasp mine. His touch w
as cold; not like when we held hands back at the shop. Perhaps he was as nervous as I was.
“I lied.” He ran his hand up my arm and pulled me closer to him.
“About what?” I swallowed hard as I tried to steady my breath.
“I do not want a drink.”
He slid his hands up either side of my face and pulled me into him. His cool lips touched mine, his hands slipping around my body and resting on the small of my back. My hands found their own way to his hips; I could feel the definition of every muscle under my fingertips, as I traced along the top of his belt line. His hands moved lower. My heart beat furiously with desire as his hands wrapped themselves around my hips. In one swift movement, he lifted me from the ground. I entangled my legs around his hips, while my lips danced passionately with his. His strong lips were dictating where mine moved, and I gave into them. I peeled my eyes open slightly. His eyes were closed and relaxed—he was enjoying kissing me. I pressed my eyes closed again as I drowned into him, his big arms closing tightly around me as he kissed me deeply. His lips moved from mine and slowly kissed their way down my neck to the centre of my chest. I tilted my head back as his cool, smooth lips moved along my skin. I breathed in deeply wanting to be consumed by the smell of his aftershave—of ancient forests. To my disappointment my nose wasn’t filled with the intoxicating smell of trees. He wore a different aftershave; an aftershave that could only be described as exotic islands. As I breathed it in I could almost hear distant drums beating and almost feel waterfalls cascading across my naked skin.
His hands slipped up my back as he slowly lowered me to the couch. He grabbed the bottom of his shirt, pulled it over his head and threw it on the floor. I hadn’t noticed in the bookstore, but in the centre of his chest, across his heart, was a scar of an X. He gently lowered himself onto me. I could no longer tell if my heart was beating furiously or had stopped entirely. I lifted my hand and gently ran my fingers across his scar. It felt smoother than his skin and was slightly indented. He took my fingers in his hand and kissed the ends of them gently.
The scar tattoos that covered his arms appeared to be engraved into his skin, but as I ran my fingers over them, I was surprised to feel only his smooth skin. They were not engraved as I had expected.
He leaned in and kissed my neck. Shivers ran through my body making my toes curl and my back arch. His lips moved down the front of my neck and slipped lower down my chest until his lips met my shirt. A moan slipped through my lips as he unbuttoned my shirt and pushed it aside. His lips kissed slowly down my stomach. He wrapped his fingers around the top of my pants and pulled them slowly down my legs, kissing every part of me as he went. My body was in such a state of ecstasy that I could think of nothing but his touch. He pushed my legs apart and slowly lowered himself on top of me. I ran my fingers down his back until I felt his belt, followed it to his buckle and began to twist it open. He leant heavily on me as he pulled his pants off. A feeling of deep desire spread through me, something I had not felt in such a long time.
“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen,” he said quietly as he tucked my hair behind my ear.
A feeling of intense guilt struck me; Michael would tuck my hair behind my ear and whisper the exact same thing to me. I closed my eyes and tried to put Michael out of my mind; he was dead and no matter what I did or didn’t do, nothing would ever bring him back.
Derrek was kissing my body, but instead of pleasure, I felt disgust at my behaviour. I covered my hands over my face.
“I’m sorry Derrek. I can’t do this,” I said quietly. I was both furious and embarrassed at myself.
“Did I displease you?” he asked as he pushed himself from me, frowning.
“No, not at all.” I touched his beautiful face. “I just can’t.”
“But why?” he asked confused.
“I can’t stop thinking of my late husband.” I stroked his face. “I am sorry.”
“Alexandra, he would want you to be happy?” he asked as he kissed my forehead.
“Yes.” I knew Michael would want me to find someone who made me just as happy as he had.
“You need to allow yourself to be happy.” He smiled as he leaned in and kissed my neck again.
I closed my eyes. I tried to drift into him again, but his lips over my skin no longer made my body tingle; they felt intrusive. I could feel him press against me—he was ready to enter me. I desperately wanted the desire to overwhelm me again. I closed my eyes and thought of Derrek in the staff room, trying to recall how much I had wanted to touch him. I forced Emilee’s words back into my head; I promised her I wouldn’t think—that I would only feel. But as much as I tried, all I could think of was Michael.
“I’m sorry, I just can’t. Not yet,” I said.
He didn’t stop.
“Derrek. Stop.” I said clearly, expecting him to lean back apologetically, but he didn’t.
“Derrek! Get off me!” I yelled at him. He was beginning to scare me.
His hand moved from behind my head to my collarbone. I tried to sit up but he pushed me harder into the couch. I reached my hands to his chest, trying to push him off me, but he grabbed both my hands with one of his hands and held them down above my head. I could feel him trying to put himself inside me. I kicked my legs violently as I tried to escape but he had completely overpowered me.
“Stop!” I cried. “Why are you doing this to me?” I screamed as tears flooded down my face. “Please … stop!” I screamed again as he forced himself inside me. “You’re hurting me!” I cried; the pain was excruciating.
“Shut up!” He wrapped both his hands around my throat and squeezed, ensuring I was no longer able to scream.
I couldn’t fight him off—he was too strong. It felt like he was burning the inside of me, and his hands were pushing so hard on my throat I was certain he was going to snap my neck.
“You and I are meant to be together. You will always belong to me,” he whispered in my ear. His breath made my insides crawl.
As he forced himself further into me, I knew I had only one opportunity; I opened my mouth and clamped my teeth down on his ear. Blood sprayed over my body, and I felt part of his ear give way into my mouth—I had bitten off his ear lobe.
He lifted his hand and hit me with full force across my face. The blow left me dazed, and blackness crept along the side of my eyes. Grabbing the back of my hair, he dragged me from the couch and across the floor. He lifted me up and forced me over the coffee table, slamming my head down to the table with such force I thought I would pass out. I pressed my palms against the edge of the table as I desperately tried to push myself from its surface. My attempts were in vain. I was overpowered by his size and strength. My eyes pinched shut as I cried out loudly. I had no option but to acquiesce or risk greater injury.
Suddenly, he let go with a yell and fell backwards to the floor. I struggled to sit up. Spud had somehow managed to escape his pen and sunk his teeth into Derrek’s leg, shaking it violently. I grabbed the vase standing on the coffee table, and hit Derrek as hard as I could over the head. It wasn’t enough to knock him out but he did fall to the floor, disorientated and groaning. Without a second thought, I reached for my crossbow and my bag that had fallen to the floor in the struggle, and ran out the front door. I grabbed the verandah pole, swung off the edge and threw myself under the deck. I tried to calm my breathing so I wouldn’t give my position away, and carefully moved further under the deck ensuring I was well hidden from the gaps between the steps. A moment later, I heard the wire door groan open.
“Alexandra!” he called unaware he was standing above me as I crouched under the boards of the verandah.
I froze. I pressed my eyes closed as I prayed for him to move away so I could make a run for my ute. I had to get to the ute; it was my only means of escape.
“Alexandra. I am sorry. Please, Alexandra,” he called loudly as he staggered down the steps and onto the gravel. “Alexandra, I did not mean to hurt you. I am sorry.”
<
br /> I held my breath, listening to his crunching footsteps as he moved close to the front steps. Please don’t let him see me. Please.
“There is nowhere you can hide Alexandra! I will find you, I will always find you!” His calm ruse was quickly replaced with his angered urgency to find me.
He was so close to me; the moon cast his shadow as he moved across the ground near the steps.
“I know everything about you, Alexandra! I know about Michael, your daughter, the little house you used to live in. I know everything about you!” He began to walk away from where I was silently hiding. “We are meant for each other, Alexandra. And we will be together again. I will always come for you!” he shouted, his voice filled with malice.
His words shot through my body. How does he know about me? Who is he? How did he find me? What did he want from me? I shook my head to clear it—I had to get out of here. The questions could wait. Focus Alexandra!
I could hear his footsteps fading as he walked away, towards the rear of the house. I carefully lifted my head and peered out—all clear. I waddled awkwardly to get clear from my hiding spot and then, in a low crouch, moved as quickly as I could to my ute. The window was still down, so I threw my belongings on the seat and lifted myself through the window. My body hurt, but I was too terrified to register the pain.
I slid down the seat. I knew the slightest wrong move would mark the end of my life. With shaking hands, I grabbed for my bag and rummaged through it, trying to find my keys. I could hear the crunching of his feet on the gravel as he walked along the far side of the driveway in search of me. My hands were trembling as I tried more than once to put the key into the ignition.
Spud, where are you? I silently pushed myself back into the seat and chanced a look out the window; I could see Derrek sleeking his way around the corner of my house. The tiniest sensation of relief crept into my body as I watched him disappear behind another shed.
I held my breath as I twisted my hand on the key and prayed it would start first time. I turned the key in the ignition but only a whirring noise came from the engine. I turned it again but the same whirring noise came.
“Come on you heap of shit!” I yelled at my car.
I knew that my position had been given away; I knew it would be a matter of seconds before he would pull my unlockable door open and drag me from my car.
Tears poured from my eyes. “Please!” I pleaded to the universe. I turned it again, and it rumbled to a start. “Spud!” I screamed, as I looked in my rear view mirror. Derrek was running towards my car as Spud ran around him and leapt into the back of the ute.
I slammed my foot on the accelerator and sped down the driveway; Derrek gave chase for the first part but slowed to a halt as I sped away from him.
I slid open the small window that separated the tray to the cab and Spud crawled in and sat on the passenger seat, staring up at me. My hands were shaking uncontrollably, jeopardising my ability to steer accurately. I knew I needed to calm myself. Focus, focus! I could not afford to crash. He would be in his car by now, and if I slowed at all, he’d be on me instantly. I didn’t have a destination in mind but somehow I ended up pulling in at Andy’s yellow weatherboard house. I drove down the driveway and into his back yard. I stumbled from the ute to his back door, bashing on it loudly.
“Andy!” I screamed as I looked around, praying Derrek hadn’t followed me. “Andy! Let me in!”
Andy pulled the door open; he was wearing his long black robe and wiping his sleepy eyes.
“Alex? What the ...?” He took a step back in shock as he saw the state I was in; I had arrived at his house in the middle of the night completely naked.
“Andy … help,” I sobbed frantically.
“Jesus Christ, Alex. What the hell is going on? Get in here!” He slapped his hand to my shoulder and dragged me inside.
Inside his house was just as dark as it was out, and I could see very little apart from the swords; they shone under the moonlight just as they always did. The unrest stirred in my gut again as I stood in their presence.
“Why the hell are you naked?” he asked as he switched the light on, snapping me back to reality.
I wrapped my arms around my broken body as I stood in the middle of his lounge room. I couldn’t answer.
His breath caught, and he took a step back as he looked at me. “Alex. What is going on?” He gingerly reached out and touched my arm. I looked down at my body; it was covered in blood, and patches of skin had begun to turn green and purple with bruising.
He grabbed a blanket from the couch and threw it around me, settling his hands gently on my shoulders.
“What happened to you?” His eyes were wide with alarm.
I couldn’t answer—I was frozen. My mind was fixed on Derrek’s face as he forced himself onto me; the smell of his aftershave, his threatening words. How could he be so kind one day and a monster the next?
“Alex! What happened?” he repeated, gently shaking my shoulders, trying to break through my trance-like state.
I looked at Andy, unable to gather my thoughts to tell him what I had just been through. I couldn’t form any words. All I could see was Derrek on top of me, and I could still feel him inside me. I put my hands to my throat, still stinging from his brutal assault, in hopes I could draw breathe more easily.
“Ally! What happened?” Andy’s voice dropped, as he looked at the bruising on my neck.
“He wouldn’t stop … he wouldn’t … it hurt,” I stammered.
“Who?” Andy demanded. “Who? Who did this to you?"
“Derrek.” I closed my eyes as tears rolled from them.
Andy wrapped his arms around me and held me, while I cried loudly into his shoulder.
“You’re safe now. You’re here with me. You’re safe.”
He took a step backwards, holding one hand on my arm. “I am going to run a shower for you. Just wait here ...”
“No, no, no, don’t leave me.’ I panicked.
“Okay, okay. I won’t. I’m here,” he told me calmly.
He gently lifted my arm and draped it around his shoulders. He wrapped his free hand around my waist as he half carried me to his bathroom. Each step we took caused waves of pain through my body.
Andy leant in to the shower and turned the taps on, adjusting the temperature of the water. He turned back to me, gently lifted the blanket from me, and helped me step into the shower. As he did, I caught my reflection in the mirror that hung crookedly on the wall. My forehead wore a long rectangular lump, which was beginning to bruise. Around my neck were two distinct bruises in the shape of fingers, a cut where my necklace has sliced into me, and my arms and legs had large patches of bruising; blood smeared my body. But it wasn’t the blood or the bruising that scared me the most. I looked fragile—I didn’t look like me.
“You’re okay now,” Andy whispered.
I nodded once and stepped into the shower; instantly the shower base turned red from my blood. I stood motionless as I watched the blood swirl down the drain.
“Here’s some soap. You probably should avoid any open skin; it’ll hurt like hell.” He looked at my bruising body. His facial expression was one I had never seen on him before. He was always so easygoing and laconic, a smile never leaving his eyes; now there was only fury.
He was breathing heavily, and I could tell he wanted to show far more emotion than he was displaying but was forcing those emotions down for my sake. I appreciated it more than he would ever know.
“Do you want me to stay?” he asked quietly, his eyes focused on the floor.
I didn’t care what he did. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I wanted to run and hide forever.
“Spud,” I finally said. I had forgotten he was still in my car. “Spud’s out in the ute. Can you check on him?”
I knew I was speaking. I knew I was standing in his shower, but I felt as though I was watching someone else. Other people get raped—people on midday
talk shows talk about it. It can’t have happened to me.
“Sure,” he said as he began to walk towards the bathroom door.
“Andy, there’s some clothes and boots behind the driver’s seat.” I added.
He nodded as he turned the door handle.
“And Andy ...” He looked back at me. “Thank you.”
He half smiled and gave a quick nod, then disappeared out the door.
I pressed against the shower wall, letting the water flow freely over my body. I watched as the warm water continued to wash blood down the swirling drain. Tipping my head under the showerhead, I opened my lips just enough for the water to flow in and around my mouth, washing away the taste of his blood from my mouth. I felt naked—not just in the physical form. Everything had been stripped from me. I no longer belonged to me.
I took the soap, meaning to wash myself with it. It smelled of pretty flowers. Andy used soap that smelled of pretty flowers. How ridiculous! Before I could stop myself, I threw the soap at the shower wall as hard as I could. I screamed through my teeth and punched the hard tiles with the sides of my fists. Spurts of cries came from me as I slowed my hits against the hard tiles. I fell back against the wall. The tiles were cold against my skin. I slid down the wall and wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my face into my knees, sobbing.
The bathroom door opened and Andy walked in. He wasn’t wearing his robe anymore. Instead he wore a pair of jeans, a T-shirt and a pair of black work boots. In his right hand he was holding my crossbow, handbag and clothes, and in his left, he held Spud by the collar.
As soon as Spud saw me, he pulled away from Andy and ran to me, laying down in front of the shower, wagging his tail slowly. I reached out of the shower and patted his head; he lapped the dripping water from my hand.
“You’re a good boy, Spud.” I said quietly. He wagged his tail faster, but made small whimpering noises and licked the back of my hand, sensing my distress.
Andy closed the door quietly and took a few silent steps into the bathroom. Instantly, I knew something was wrong.
“I don’t want to scare you, but I could see headlights coming down the road when I got your stuff,” he said as he gently put my belongings on the floor.
“What?” I breathed, my heart thumping. I sat forward on the balls of my feet, ready to jump to a stand and run in any direction he told me.
He leant in the shower and turned the taps off.
“It’s going to be alright. We don’t even know who it is,” he reassured me as he handed me a towel and helped me to stand. “Can you dry and dress yourself?” he whispered.
“Yeah. Are you expecting anybody?” I whispered so quietly it was barely audible.
He didn’t answer but threw me a look that screamed ‘no’ as he darted out the door once more. I dried myself as quickly as I could. Every inch of me hurt to an intensity like none I had ever felt, but I forced myself to ignore it. I pulled on my torn denim shorts and sleeveless flannelette shirt. They weren’t much, but these clothes belonged to me—it was all that belonged to me.
As I was pulling on my boots, Andy reappeared holding a big backpack filled with his belongings.
“We’re getting out of here. I’m not an idiot. I can’t take that guy. He’d kill me with one swing! And you’re in no shape to even consider fighting. There isn’t a police station within hundreds of kilometres and the phones are de...” He stopped short. We both heard it; a car drove slowly past Andy’s house.
“Andy! It’s him! Oh God. He’s found me. He’ll see my car!” I said in a panicked whisper, as I looked around the room for an escape.
“Shh, shh, shh. No he won’t. You can barely see my house from the road, and your car is out the back. We’re leaving now, out the back door. We’re taking my car.” Even though his voice was no louder than a whisper, he spoke with authority.
I nodded and went to pick up my bag.
“No, you just worry about walking without making any noise. Follow me exactly,” he instructed as he picked up my belongings and swung his backpack over his shoulder.
Such a simple instruction; follow him. But I couldn’t move. I was struggling to control my breathing. I could feel Derrek searching for me. I will find you; I will always find you. You belong to me. And he had found me. I could feel his hands around my neck and his sticky breath in my ear, the island smell. He had found me, and this time I knew he wouldn’t let me go.
“I can’t, Andy. I can’t. He’s going to find me no matter what we do. He promised he would.” The image of Derrek's face would not leave me—it was burned into my mind. I could feel him; he was coming for me.
“Hey, Ally.” He stepped close to me and placed his hands on my hips. “Remember the first time we went swimming at Warimudga with Emilee? It was night time and we were all standing on the top of Barri-Barri. Remember how Emilee just stripped her clothes off and dived in? You and I stared at each other for ages, not knowing what we should do next?”
A mute nod was all I could manage.
“Remember how we just did it? We didn’t need to discuss it with each other. We didn’t need to worry about what we thought, or if it would be appropriate. We just jumped right in. We trusted each other.”
Tears were filling in my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. I remembered that night well. It was the first moment I didn’t think of Michael and Sasha. That exact moment he described was the instant I began to recover from their deaths. But I had no idea why he was bringing it up now.
“Yes.”
“Remember when you felt something under your feet and you were positive it was a croc?”
“Yes. I panicked and almost drowned. But you swam out and saved me.” I don’t know if my words were coherent as I choked them out.
“That’s right. I told you to calm down and just go with me. Well, this is exactly the same as that night. I am swimming out to save you. All you have to do is calm down and follow me. I am going to save you. I didn’t let you drown then, and I am not going to let you drown now—I promise,” he said as he lowered his hands.
I nodded quickly and wiped the tears from my cheeks as Spud nuzzled his nose into my leg and wagged his tail slowly.
Andy slowly opened the bathroom door as wide as it would go. He turned back to me and gave me a reassuring nod. Just follow Andy. Think of nothing else, just follow Andy. He took a large step over two floorboards as he stepped into the hallway. I held my breath as I copied his light and agile foot placements to his back door.
The back door was a half-light door with clear glass. He squatted down next to it and waited for me to squat down by his side. He slowly lifted himself up to peer out the window and quickly sat back down.
“He’s out there,” he mouthed to me.
My heart pulsated with such ferocity it echoed in my ears. Andy pulled a remote-type gadget from his pocket and, with only breath, he said, “When this goes off, we run.”
I nodded. I had no idea what ‘this’ was or what would happen when it ‘goes off’. All I knew was I didn’t want to be around when it did. I balanced on the balls of my feet as I readied myself to run. He held up three fingers and folded them down one by one until he pushed the button. A door slammed at the front of the house, and I heard Derrek run from the back of the house towards the front. Andy quickly but silently pushed open the back door and peered around ensuring we were alone. He bounced to his feet and sprinted to his four-wheel drive wagon with Spud and me in close pursuit. The short stretch to his car seemed to take an eternity with the gravel beneath our feet crunching loudly with every step we took, the sound echoing through the night air. Derrek would have heard it and would come for me.You belong to me; I will always come for you.
We got to Andy’s car, but as I reached my hand to the door handle, something stopped me; a gentle breeze blew past us and upon it was carried the smell of exotic islands. I lowered my outstretched hand and slowly turned to face the intoxicating smell. I could almost feel gentle waterfalls trickle across my n
aked skin and taste the smell of islands.
“Alex!” Andy hissed.
But Andy wasn’t really there. He was only a person I met in a dream of a dream, long ago.
“Alex! Get in the bloody car!” he yelled at me, but it was a distant yell, not one that I had to respond to.
I closed my eyes as I drew in the islands. I could hear the beating of the drums and feel the dancers dancing around a tall fire. That was where I belonged; I was being called home.
I could feel someone’s arms around my body, their warmth kind against my skin.
“Get in the bloody car!” Andy yelled at me again as he threw me into the front passenger seat.
The sudden jolt snapped me back to reality. He slammed the door closed as he darted around the front of the car and into the driver’s seat. Unlike my ute, his car started instantly as he turned the key in the ignition. Without a moment’s hesitation he sped out the driveway, past Derrek’s ute, which sat lifeless at the front of the house with no sign of Derrek.
“Are you okay?” Andy asked as we raced down the road.
“Huh?” I vaguely answered. I felt as though I had just woken from an eternal dream.
“Are you okay?” he demanded again. “What the friggin’ hell just happened back there?”
“I don’t know.” I ran my hands across my face and through my hair. “I was drawn to him.”
“What do you mean, you were ‘drawn to him’?” he snapped as he kept his eyes fixed on the road ahead, turning several corners.
“I don’t know. It was like reality just fell away …” I suddenly remembered how we had managed to escape. “The door slammed ... was there someone else in your house? What if he finds them?” I began to panic.
“Calm down! It was just a sound effect. For Christ’s sake, put your bloody seat belt on. That’s all we need, for me to have to take you to a hospital.” He shook his head.
I pushed myself back into the seat and pulled at the seatbelt several times until it finally came freely and clicked it into the buckle.
“I was bored one weekend,” he continued, “and downloaded a heap of sound effects on my phone. All I did was connect it to the stereo system—it’s all that I could think of to give us a little time to escape. Is he following?”
I turned and squinted out the rear window. “No, I can’t see anybody ...” My voice was noticeably high pitched and shaking. The sound of it scared me; it wasn’t mine.
“Good. I can’t drive too fast. Just our luck we’ll run into a camel. It’s unlikely Derrek would be able to follow us—took me six months to figure out these back roads.” He looked up through the windscreen. “It’s a full moon tonight, which will give us enough light. I’ll be able to drive slower; less chance of being seen.” He flicked the headlights off. I jumped with the sudden atmosphere change. My nervousness didn’t go unnoticed.
“Alexandra.” He said my full name; he never said my full name. “It’s okay. You’re safe; you’re with me, Andy.”
“I know,” I said. My voice was thick, as I tried to hold back emotion, but I couldn’t.
Tears burst from my eyes and I sobbed loudly. I hugged my arms around my waist and looked out the window; I didn’t want Andy to see me like that.
“It’s okay to cry, you know,” he said. “Jesus, Alex. You were just raped! You wouldn’t be human if you weren’t upset.” He gently placed his hand on the back of mine. “It’s me.”
I looked across at him. His eyes were warm and compassionate, but they were also the same eyes that only minutes ago had seen me naked and bare. Andy seeing me physically naked didn’t bother me. He, Emilee and I had swum in Warimudga late at night plenty of times, but tonight he had seen me stripped back to nothing.
“Alexandra, talk to me.”
“I’m so ashamed,” I blabbered before I was able to stop myself. Once I began to speak it was as though a dam wall had been smashed; the words kept pouring out. “I’m so ashamed and pathetic. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have ...” I sobbed loudly as I wiped my cheeks.
Andy slowed the car and pulled over to the side of the road.
He turned in his seat. “Look at me,” he instructed.
I pushed my hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear as I looked at him. He took my hands in his hands.
“You have nothing to be ashamed of. Do you hear me? Nothing!”
“I shouldn’t have come to your house. You didn’t need to see me like that.” Tears began to flow from my eyes again.
“What, naked?” He choked a laugh. “I’ve seen you naked lots of times.”
“That’s different … I wasn’t pathetic those times.”
“Look at me.” He held his hands on either side of my face. “You are not pathetic. Do you hear me? What that prick did to you was not your fault. Jesus, he’s twice the size of you and you’re saying that you’re pathetic because he overpowered you? He’s the one who’s pathetic.” His tone wasn’t sympathetic or soft; it was furious. “And as for you coming to my house and me seeing you the way I did, not for one second did I think you were pathetic or weak. I saw you the way I always see you—you’re strong, so strong. You got away from him, Alex.” He lowered his hands. “I love you, you know that?”
I looked to him with widened eyes. How could he possibly be confessing his love to me here, now?
“You fill a hole inside.” He patted his chest. “You are my best friend. I don’t care what your problem is. If you need me I will always be there.” A smile tugged at either side of his mouth. “Pretty sure there’s a song about that.”
A smile crept to my face. “Thanks, Andy.” Although I meant it wholeheartedly, the words didn’t seem to be strong enough. “I’m scared. I don’t know what that was … that was insane.”
He inhaled deeply and bit his bottom lip.
“Look, Alex. There’s a lot I need to tell you,” he said in a low, ominous voice, looking through the windows as though he was expecting someone to appear.
“What is it?” I asked in a low voice also. His behaviour was making me even more anxious than I already was.
“We are a few hours away from a motel. We’ll stay there tonight and I’ll explain everything,” he promised.
“What? We’re staying at a motel, hours away? No. We need to go to Mooribilli. I need to call the police and tell them what he did!” I slapped my hands over my mouth. I suddenly realised I had had a shower. “Andy! The shower! The DNA is washed away.”
I couldn’t believe I had been so stupid. There would be no evidence of the attack. “The police won’t be able to arrest him without any evidence!” I could hardly breathe as I thought of his words: You belong to me; I will always find you. “He told me he would find me, always. And he will. There’ll be nothing to stop him.”
My chest tightened with fear at the surety of his promise.
“Calm down!” Andy waved his hands in a downward motion. “Don’t you think I’ve already thought of that? We aren’t going to the police because they won’t be able to help us.” He continued to speak in a low voice as though someone may be able to hear him. He edged closer to me as he darted another glance out the rear window. “Look, there is so much more going on here. I barely understand it myself. All I do know is it’s too dangerous to be discussing anything while we are in the open like this.” He leant in even closer to me and held my hand. “You need to trust me.”
I did trust him, more than anyone else I knew. But it felt wrong. My instincts were screaming at me to go to the police, to let them handle it. Even though his DNA wasn’t in me anymore, there would have been small amounts of it at my house. Even if they weren’t able to arrest him, they would be able to protect me.
“I’m so scared, Andy. When I was in the hospital and I had hallucinations, they felt so real. And just now, I was drawn to him … it’s insane. What if my hallucinations are getting worse?” I wrapped my arms around my stomach and rocked forward.
“They’re not.” He grabbed the steerin
g wheel and began to drive along the highway again, this time with his headlights off. “Remember that book; the one that I told you was bogus?” he asked. He was leaning over the steering wheel as he drove, scanning the road for any wildlife.
“Yeah, of course. What does that book have anything to do with this?” I snapped. I couldn’t understand why he would bring up such a trivial topic.
“It’s not ‘some cheap city book’ as you thought.” He looked at me for only a second. But in that second I saw his ominous expression.
“Andy ...?”
“It glowed.”
“What?”
“The book glowed, but only when I touched it. And it burned me.” He held his left hand out. His fingertips were burned and had blistered.
“My book did this to you; the one with in the wrapper with DRIA written across it?” I stared at his hand in disbelief.
He nodded.
“What? That’s impossible. It must have been something else. Books don’t glow and they certainly don’t burn people.” I shook my head. What he was suggesting was completely ridiculous. I knew he wasn’t lying to trying to trick me, but there had to be a rational explanation.
“Where’s my book now?”
“It’s safe. It’s just in the top of my backpack.” He threw his thumb over his left shoulder.
I spun around in my seat and reached for his backpack, which was lying across the back seat. I tugged at the zipper and drew it open. As he said, my book sat at the very top.
“It’s not glowing,” I said.
“You have to touch it.”
I reached across and grabbed it with my hand. As soon as my fingers lay on it, the five symbols began to glow an intense red. I sat back around with it on my lap and stared at it in awe; the light that was being emitted was the most beautiful colour of red. I ran my fingers across the symbols. They were still soft and silk-like to touch.
“How are you not being burned?” he queried.
“I don’t know—it’s not hot.”
I gingerly opened the front cover. The writings that filled the ivory pages within the book remained perfectly black as they scrolled along the pages. I touched one of the symbols on the first ivory page and instantly the black writing turned to blinding gold.
“It’s beautiful.” I spoke in complete awe of its splendour. “Perhaps you burned your fingers on something else and you just thought it was the book.” I picked it up and turned it over, inspecting every inch of the cover. “Do you think it’s battery operated?”
He spat a loud laugh.
“What? Do you have a better explanation?” I snapped. “One that’s not filled with goblins and witches?”
I loved Andy dearly, but so often his imagination would carry him away, just as it obviously had with the supposed burning book. There would always be a rational explanation but he would never look for it. He would linger in the realm of the fantastic for as long as he could.
“Witches and goblins are nothing compared to what I found. And before you try to defame my findings, they come from a government site. We are still a couple of hours away from where we’ll be staying tonight. You should try to sleep.”
“What? You’re not serious? After what just happened you’re not going to explain everything to me now? He said I belonged to him. Andy, he knew everything about me.” I needed answers, and I couldn’t believe Andy would consider not telling me all that he knew.
“Ally, we need to get to Melbourne ASAP, which means you’ll have to drive while I sleep. So please, just sleep now. I need you to be at your sharpest. You are going to have to accept a lot of stuff that you’d normally laugh off.”
“Melbourne? You never said anything about Melbourne. We can’t go there! It’s thousands of kilometres away. Not to mention Sam will think we’ve dropped off the side of the Earth. What if Derrek attacks someone else? What if he attacks Emilee?” I threw my hands over my mouth.
Emilee was so small and petite; she’d never be able to fight him off. He would kill her.
“Calm down. Yes, we have to go to Melbourne. No, nobody—and I mean nobody—needs to know we are going there. Sam will just think we’ve gone to the city to get your meds, which before you freak out about them too, I found a packet at my house. You must have left them there at some stage; it’s not a full packet but it will give you some more time. And as for Emilee, he isn’t going to attack her,” he said with assuredness as he threw his eyes to the rear view mirror again.
“What do you mean he isn’t going to attack her?” I scowled at him. If given the opportunity I had no doubt he would.
“Because he will be too busy chasing us. We have something he wants ...” He looked to my lap. “He wants that book.”