The month passed surprisingly fast. Tess spent more time in my room than necessary, but I didn’t mind. I actually grew to enjoy her company. She was blunt and direct with everything she said and with every order she gave to me or her staff. I liked that about her. I liked that if I asked a question, I got a straightforward, truthful answer. I also liked that she never mentioned my family or the funeral.
She hadn’t offered to research any relevant medical certificates indicating where my family may have been buried, and I didn’t ask. I know many people make peace by taking flowers and toys to their children’s graves, but I had never been able to see any sense in it. The moment they draw their last breath is when you lose them. What lies beneath the ground is not your loved one; it’s nothing more than rotting flesh and bones. Well, that’s what I kept telling myself. The truth was that I was scared to see their graves because that would make it real, and that was something for which I wasn’t prepared.
Everyone grieves in his or her own way. I wanted to ask Tess exactly what had caused the explosion, and if there was anything left of my home, but every time I tried to ask her, the thought of my family burning would plague my mind, so I remained silent.
During the extended time she spent in my room, she revealed little of herself; however, I was surprised one day when she told me that she had recently found her husband of almost thirty years in her bed with their neighbour. Her teenage daughter had been very close friends with their neighbour and because of her husband’s ‘despicable actions’, her daughter refused to go to school and would hardly leave her room.
Tess described to me how it was the most humiliating experience of her life. Not only was it sick and perverted on his behalf, everybody assumed she knew it was going on because apparently, it had been a repeat occurrence for many months.
It made me realise that although the pain of losing a family was excruciating, there are tragedies other than death. Her family was alive but had completely fallen apart—she was just as alone as I was.
She told me that if not for her job and her daughter’s welfare, she would have packed her bags that day, caught a bus to anywhere and never looked back.