Chapter 12
It was almost eleven and she was a wonderful three hours late. If you’re going to be late, be really fucking late she thought. Especially on your last goddam day! She felt like swearing at all kinds of things. It was that kind of morning. She hardly ever used any profane language. She played with the idea that maybe the third Friday of every month would be her own personal profanity day. She showered and pulled on a pair of jeans. She was going casual. She had not worn the jeans for three years and was happy they were still a snug fit. She rummaged for her brothers leather jacket and with a T-shirt she was off for her last day at work. As she left her apartment she kissed the edition of Shakespeare and threw her hair back over her shoulders. She carried her messenger bag and an empty plastic fold out to pack her stuff in. The one other object she carried was her only source of disappointment. The tin with the lemon dress would have to be returned. The spiky haired girl had said whenever, but a four hundred dollar dress was not something she could afford. She would be unemployed by Monday and she certainly would not be able to afford it or even a function to wear it to. But she was going to get a dog, she needed a puppy. Maybe she could find something cheaper at the funky store in exchange. Maybe get a part time job. It felt like a day of possibilities.
She swung around the corner of Mr. Azir’s shop on the way to the bus stop. He was outside on his chair as usual.
He blocked her way as he struggled to his feet. “Ma ma!” He called holding Jenny at arm’s length.
“What? You think I’m some dog that-” she stopped the moment she appeared from the grocery. “Oh Jenny you look wonderful.”
“Sorry?” Jenny thought the seventy-year olds had lost it.
“It’s Friday.” Azir pronounced boldly. His wife scrambled back into the shop with an air of mouse like excitement. Old Azir almost bounced with excitement on the street. “When we see a beautiful woman on a Friday we must celebrate.”
His wife appeared with a small bag of fruit and pressed it into Jenny’s hand. “Oh my Jenny, you look wonderful. Azir you were right you old dog. She is a beauty. We love to see beautiful girls when they wake up to their beauty. Is so exciting to see love in the open. Go. Go away now or we cry.” She turned back into the shop and pushed the old man in front of her. He didn’t want to go he wanted to stay with Jenny. “Go, go you old fart!”
“Jenny you come see us tomorrow. We waiting for you.” He swatted the old woman behind him playfully. “Don’t push it's not the Olympics. I told you she would be next.”
“Yes, yes. One time you are right, only once. Inside.”
Jenny stood clutching the tin, her messenger bag and now a bag of fresh fruit. She didn’t mind. She was puzzled but they were a fun old couple and she knew them well. She moved to the bus.
The buses were always full when she rode them it seemed. An old woman got on and tried to reach the toggle to support herself, but it was too much of a stretch for her bent body. A young black boy whipped from his seat and ushered the old girl into his spot. The old woman cooed at his kindness, but he didn’t seem to think it was any big deal. He smiled at Jenny and then when the bus stopped moved to leave.
Jenny stopped him and gave him an apple from the bag. “A good deed.”
“Cheers love.” He had a very heavy accent, probably the North of England but then Jenny had very little idea, they seemed to have so many distinct accents over there. Maybe she could go to England before she buys her puppy. She daydreamed all the way to the office.
The jeans and light leather jacket gave her an unsinkable power in the stuffy office building. It was as if the clothes oozed a power and sensuality that intimidated the walls of the building. She flashed her pass at the drooling security guard, it wasn’t Clive. She felt like slapping his mouth closed with the pass. Like the Bizmark she cruised through the foyer. She shook out her hair as she waited for the elevator. Maybe that was where the power came from. She felt like Samson and Dalila had lost her scissors.
The elevator stopped and the doors pulled open at her floor. She was immediately dismayed at the sight. It was tweed. Why did she so often have to meet Charles at the elevator? Didn’t he ever work? He turned to her with a massive box in his arms.
“Hi Charles.”
“Hi Jenny, you okay? You look ravishing”
“What?”
“Ravishing, you do, your hair, your clothes. Sorry. Perhaps I shouldn’t say, but then maybe I can today.”
“Why’s that? Cause I’m leaving.” Jenny asked without malice.
“No, I’m leaving.”
She was stunned with his flippant remark. “What? Why? When?”
“That would be... leaving, your fault and now.”
“Did I do something to – I’m really sorry Charles.” He set the box on the low coffee table to the right of the elevator. And waved her quiet. “Charles what happened? You got sacked?”
“No, I became aware. Saw you writing yesterday afternoon, your passion. It was fantastic. I have always wanted to write for the theatre. So. I quit.”
“Just like that?”
“Yeah, how wonderfully stupid eh? My mother will think I’m daft as a post.”
“Good luck. I hope you succeed.” The elevator returned and opened.
Charles picked up the box and moved it into the elevator. “I probably have another half dozen trips to get my clobber out of here. But if I don’t see you again Jenny, I really hope you complete your dreams.”
“Cheers.” she said.
The door started to close and his foot stopped it. “’Mediocrities everywhere I absolve you all’ – that’s what did it for me.” He grinned and waved in very British ‘toodaloo’ fashion and let the door close.
Jenny quickly dropped her foldable carry-all onto her desk and put the fruit in her messenger bag along with her notebook. With the dress tin under her arm and her bag around her shoulder she headed to the elevator. She would go to the canal for lunch and then leave a copy of her responses there for him before going to drop the complete work at Robert’s office. Then she would drop off the dress, return to pack up and then go get snorking drunk with Cindy and Bernie.
“Jenny, Jenny.” It was Cindy and Bernie running towards her as she waited for the elevator.
“It’s okay girls, I’ll be back in a couple hours, then let’s go get tanked. I’ll need a new job.”
“You couldn’t finish?” They asked.
“Oh no. It’s done and so am I.” The elevator arrived and opened. She hugged them both. “Don’t worry when I come back I’ll tell you his name.” They both bounced and hugged her. The three women turned to the waiting elevator. Three men were standing along the back as one of them held the door. They were all salivating over Jenny and the other two. Jenny looked back and smiled at her friends.
The door closed on them as they waved and called. “Kick ass girl. Go for it.”
Jenny felt the elevator descend and yet her spirits seemed to go the other way. She felt light and alive. She would kick ass. She could feel the tension of the men as they yearned to speak to her. Their hopes were dashed by the ‘ching‘ of the elevator and she was gone toward the exit. She could feel them leer after her tight jeans and laughed at the thought.
She waited for the crosswalk to change and stared at the flashing blue light across the street. Someone was being helped and it appeared they were on a dolly and receiving air. The ambulance attendants appeared very calm. It was probably a jogger she thought. She moved past the ambulance. She was never one to gawk at scenes like that. If you could help - then help - if not, don’t it intrude on the misfortune of others.
She strutted down to the bench with her messenger bag over one arm and the tin under the other. She’d let Robert read it and then walk out of that stifling closet of an office, where she had been imprisoned for five years. She felt she had just had some oxygen, like the
jogger. She would glance through it one last time before submitting it. There would be another poem at the bench and she was now more eager than ever to continue her dialogue with the poet.
At the canal she looked to the left but that bench was empty. She turned to her right, her usual bench. There was an occupant but not the one she expected.
He stood staring at her, beside the bench. He didn’t flinch. She took a few steps toward him thinking he might do something but he remained motionless focused on her. He didn’t look at her clothes or judge her in anyway. He just maintained an unblinking, boring stare. It was as if he was grilling her to see if she was capable, if he should accept her.
Jenny glanced at the bench there was no poem. She sat on the bench and set her stuff beside her, he continued to remain frozen in front of her. He moved around the bench circling her completely. He paused directly in front of her and stood motionless with his back to her, facing the canal. He seemed to watch it for a long time. The canal was calm, there were few people around.
Jenny heard the door to the ambulance slam and the attendants’ voices. She turned to listen.
“Too bad, but if you gotta go, go quickly eh?”
“Yeah, be a bitch to locate his family.”
“Want a coffee on the way back?”
“Yeah, there’s a Starbucks just around the corner.”
The engine roared to life and she heard it pull away. There were no lights or sirens.
He collapsed his weight on her knees and sat on her lap. He fidgeted a bit. God he was heavy she thought. He definitely weighed more than Jenny. Even though he was older, because he was male his musculature added a huge bulk. She knew they did this, amazingly lazy beasts. Always scared of any hard surface.
He fidgeted driving the back of his leg and tail into her thigh. She had to push him off. He spun around and faced her sitting on his haunches. His stare questioned her. He landed one of his massive paws on her knees. Thank God she had jeans on, his claws would rip stockings in an instant. He waited. She waited. Jenny wondered if he was going to speak. He seemed to have such an attitude it would be perfectly believable. Then he suddenly laid down at her feet and rested his head on the tops of her shoes. As if it were too heavy for him to hold so it was her duty. He whimpered slightly. She reached down and stroked his ear. His head immediately tilted to her fingers.
“Where’s your master eh old boy?” The dog stood and rested his head on her lap. It was amazingly heavy. His black eyes flickered up at her, waiting. He obviously was keen on the ear scratch. “Where did he go eh? Thought you two were inseparable.” There was a huge sigh from the big black bellows that powered the Great Dane and it puffed out his lips. He suddenly raised his head and looked directly at her. He cocked his head to one side as if she were the dimwitted one. Did she not understand something? The dog backed up a few steps and stared at her. He barked directly at her, a huge thunderclap that pushed her back against the bench. She was a little frightened, he was behaving oddly. He walked back to her with his tail wagging as if he wanted to play a game. He stared expectantly at her. As Jenny was sitting on the bench they were actually eye to eye. He whined at her and shuffled.
What did he want?
The black Dane walked around the bench and she watched as he went to an old hat and cane on the grass. He brought the cane over and dropped it at her feet. He waited. She recognized it immediately as the old man’s. The big dog loped back and picked up the beret. He dropped it on her lap. He rested his head on top of it and peered up at her. He waited. It was the old man’s beret. The understanding was like a rush of stifling hot air. A blast that pushes the wind from your stomach, swelling your eyes, leaving you with nothing but misunderstanding coursing through your mind.
The old man was taken away without sirens. He was gone and his friend was resting his massive heart on her lap - it appeared to be broken. She took both his ears and gave them a good scruffing. He raised his head and that was when she saw it. She recognized it immediately. It raced to her eyes like a spear of yellowed paper. For Joy. It was another poem. The old man had left a poem in his hat for her. Was he the poet? Was he a courier? Why had he lived that way? If it was him, where was his home? Was he a tramp?
Her mind blurred with questions. She carefully opened the folded paper. There was a key with small address toggle taped at the bottom of the letter weighting it down. Perhaps to stop it blowing away. She took a breath reluctant to read the letter. The lines of his last poem echoed in her thoughts.
‘I know we shall soon be together, no longer loving from afar.
I journey to join you and rest my heart on your star.’
She read his words.
LOVE ON A PARK BENCH
You have been my joy,
Like all things, I must end, but I trust our journey has brought a smile to you. I must join my great love, Joy, now and leave the last soul of our threesome beside you. He is daft. He is dear. His name is Dog. He carries with him a power, a muse of love. Let him release you and grow like all things, transformation and rebirth are a glory that can allow the butterfly within you to emerge and rise up. I beg you take him in your heart, care for him and use the key below to share the ocean of passion I have seen swelling behind your eyes as you read my hapless jottings.
His eyes, like yours, hold a vast ocean of love to be shared.
Thank you.
She felt the nose push up under her breast. He wanted another ear rub. He might be daft but he was also insistent.
“So, looks like you belong to me now. Hmm, bit big for a puppy.” He pulled his head back as if insulted. She pushed the folds back over his eyes and kissed the long muzzle. “It’s okay, I don’t think you are any more intelligent.” She looked at his dog tag it said his birth date and name - ’DOG’. Not exactly inspired for a poet she thought. She’d expected something like Homer or Ulysses - not ‘Dog’. There was a tremendous shake and flap starting at his ears and ruffling through his body. He picked up the cane and scampered off a few paces inviting her to play. He held it high in the air challenging her to try to get it.
She chased him around the bench for at least five minutes. He would go left then right with his tremendous paws thumping goofily on the ground. He was much too clever to be beaten and always evaded capture. His long black body bouncing stupidly but always capable of keeping the cane just out of her reach.
“Enough.” He stopped and stared at her wagging his tail. “No, I quit.”
He seemed offended and dropped the cane unimpressed. She dived for it. He couldn’t pick it up. It was too flat on the grass and she snagged it. She held it over her head and he leaped for it. His head was far over her height and he nearly got it. She held her palm out at him to stop him. “Stop. Sit Dog.” He obeyed immediately. His feet shuffled as he focused on the cane, still intent on the game. “No, That’s it. We have to go and quit my job. So you behave.” He relaxed completely and leaned against her thigh panting.
They walked up to the office block. She had the beret in her messenger bag and was ready.
She walked straight into the building with Dog close at her heel. The security guard stood up to make an issue.
“Excuse me Jenny but-”
She stared at him and the big dog focused straight at the guard. The guard withered and sat down. She moved on.
“Hold that elevator, please.” she called.
It was half full of suits. She stood in front of the men with the pitch black hound beside her. Vince was in the elevator.
“Jenny, wow. I hardly recognized you with your hair down. Who’s this big fella? Come here boy.” Vince pushed his way to the front as Dog immediately went to him and Jenny also got in the elevator. The men were all over the big dog petting and ruffling his ears. The doors opened at the eleventh floor and she stepped out. The guys held the door so they could say their goodbye’s to Dog
.
“Tuesday, Claudio’s, don’t dump me for him okay?”
“I’ll bring him.” she responded.
“Great. Competition, just what I need.” Several of the guys laughed as the doors closed.
Jenny paused briefly before crossing to Penny. Penny saw her and looked at the big black beast. Penny was obviously a cat person. Jenny had to think clearly now. She had made up her mind last night and she would stick with it. She felt the Great Dane lean against her leg. Did they have to do that? She was feeling weak enough as it was.
She crossed to Penny. “Hi Penny, I’d like to see Robert.”
“Yeah sure, he said you might come by. But I think he said just one of you.” She was scared by the size of Dog and totally confused about what she should do.
“It's okay Penny. He is absolutely harmless. Dumb as a post." As if on cue Dog set his head down on her desk resting it while the humans did their bit.
“Sure go ahead, you know which office right?”
“Yeah, thanks.” Jenny moved away with dog at her side. Several papers had stuck to his slobbery lips and were drug off the desk as they walked away. Penny scurried around, when it was safe, to pick them up.
Jenny knocked on the door.
“Hi, come in.” Robert called from the other side.
She walked through followed by Dog. Robert’s face dropped when he saw her. He didn’t even notice Dog. He came around the desk looking at her only. His neck had a white bandage on it.
“Jenny, you look... wow, I’ve never seen you in casual clothes. I mean don’t take offence. But you know, your hair down. Sorry, sorry I’m being rude, ah…” He was completely flummoxed. He had no idea what he was supposed to say next.
Dog drifted around from behind Jenny easing the awkwardness.
“Oh my God.” He got down on a knee and waved the big Dane over. “Hello you, hello.” He went right for his ears and gave them an almighty scrubbing which Dog just loved. He stood up and Dog leaned against him with his full weight almost knocking him over. He slammed the dog’s stomach hard with his open palm. “Ooh you’re a tough guy ha, a tough guy.” Dog was loving it. “No you’re not. You’re just a big woos. What’s his name? Chaucer? Hamlet, Brutus?”
“He is called Dog.” Jenny was going to keep this exchange as business like as possible. She had not forgiven Robert for his intrusion into her private life. She passed him the notebook from her messenger bag. “I apologize for the presentation, it is how I wrote it and the, my, ah... the chrysalis of creativity was, ah... was split by some wholly intrusive demanding person.” She relaxed having spat it out. Robert picked up on her coldness and moved away back behind his desk. He sat and laid the notebook in front of him.
Dog shifted over and sat beside Robert staring straight at him. They were on equal eye level. Robert stared back at the big dog and waited. Dog stared, waited. Finally Robert leaned forward to the dog, “What?” The Great Dane stood and shifted forward lowering his massive head and neck on the papers that Robert had been working on. Robert seeing all other work was blocked leaned back and opened Jenny's notebook randomly. He read a poem. Jenny stood by watching.
A huge sigh was let out by Dog, but his head remained on the desk. Robert glanced at Jenny who glanced away. Robert glanced at the rest of Jenny. She looked back and caught him eyeing her. She cleared her throat. He read a section again.
“Well, I’ll leave it with you then. There is an SASE inside the back cover. Dog come. Please return it, I’ll clear my desk on Monday.”
“No, no you won’t – leave. Won't accept it.” Robert was engrossed in the reading, he raised his eyebrows. “You will have lunch with me tomorrow.” He paused realizing he had made a hash of the request. “Sorry, will you have lunch with me tomorrow?” He waited but she didn’t answer. She stared back at him trying to remain calm and detached. She had not forgiven him. Even though it might be the best thing that ever happened to her and she knew it - she had not forgiven him. Before she could respond he had returned to the notebook and was absorbed in his reading. Several minutes passed.
Robert broke the silence. “Is it all like this?”
“Pretty much.”
“Better make it dinner or no, better yet. Look, we’re having a kind of monthly family lunch, late on Sunday, it’s a tradition, like high tea. Yes, yes. My mother is a huge fan of your scathing reports, or used to be, and your grandmother’s works. Can I show her this? She would love to be the first to read your submission-”
“It’s not a submission, it’s just-”
“Has your grandmother, the old battleaxe, read it yet?”
“No and she’s not-”
“Oh yes she is. Come on what do you say. It’s a late event. I’ll pick you up about three. They’d love to meet you.”
“Robert I’m not fond of-”
“Look I know they can be a bit challenging-”
Jenny was not going to be trampled. “So can I Robert.” She tapped the tin. “I‘d love to make it.”
“Bring Dog. We have Westies, but they should get along and it's a big yard.”
“Ah Westies, big attitude.”
“Like their owners.” He admitted.
“You said it. But then Westies love to role in cow shit so…”
“They do. How’d you know that?”
“We had one when I was a girl.”
“Why do they do it?”
“Dunno, balances their attitude.”
He stood up and walked her to the door. Dog stood between them. Robert looked at the elegant intrusive beast. “They may not be too impressed with your name though.”
“Who the Westies?”
“No my family.”
“Read it backwards.”
“Westies can’t read.”
“Touché.” She left without turning back and he watched her tight jeans as they moved toward the front desk where Penny waited.
Robert called to her, wanting to see her face one last time. “You can’t crawl back into the cocoon now.”
“Nor can you. Oh, by the way, butterflies are ugly, you know.” Jenny said.
“Not all of them.” He watched her leave. “Not all of them at all,” he muttered to himself.
Dog was old but easily kept pace along side her bike as they made their way to the address on the toggle of the key. She would then hit the pet shop before meeting up with the girls. Claudio's wouldn't dare to stop Dog. She had never been so happy to be out of work.
The toggle had the address of a private bank. She locked her bike across from the front door and left Dog there to guard it and the lemon dress tin. His eyes followed her as she went into the building. Jenny looked back at him but he seemed utterly at peace beside her bicycle. She had been completely adopted.
The bank attendants were very kind and after she had shown her identification they reviewed some papers and then ushered her along to a private room. They allowed her to access the safe deposit box and she sat alone in front of the large dark green box. The box was long, almost a yard, and about a foot high and a foot wide. It was surprisingly heavy. She had never been in one of these places before and it all seemed a bit surreal. She inserted the key and opened the box expecting to find all the poet's memoirs.
The box was filled with bundles of rolled hundred dollar bills. There were share certificates and deeds, keys to various properties. It was a vast wealth, suddenly bequeathed to her and Dog it seemed. There was a postcard of two people in deck chairs viewing a sunset over the ocean. It was taken from behind and only their silhouette was visible. Between them was the unmistakable head and body of a Great Dane. The Great Dane was looking back toward the camera. There was a startling resemblance to Dog. She flipped the card over. It was the same writing as the poems she had received.
'Joy and I are together and wait for our dear four-footed friend. Please take care of him and release
the butterfly of passion that floats within you. I have watched it bloom, you are a wonder. Please, everything in here is yours. Use it all and we thank you for looking after our dear Dog. Release all that love within you, let it fly.'
Joy and John.
She walked from the bank and Dog was sitting on his haunches waiting, expecting, with that wonderfully daft expression. Dog recognized the butterfly as Jenny approached and shuffled with anticipation.