I see Jake flailing his arms helplessly, being sucked into the eye of the world’s whirlpool. While I am fucking the object of his desire, he is bussing dishes. I see him failing the real test; I see him fighting for his life. I see myself as a weak child, not even struggling, using dope to mask my frailty. I feel as if I have no right to this commencement, or even to be the protagonist of my own story. And then I recall what Professor Dich once said, that a likeable narrator, or even a world, can be the most dishonest move that a writer can make.
But now it is my turn, and the Dean holds out my diploma. Gazing into his wide grin, I experience his six or seven figures and near-perfect teeth. As I reach for the diploma, I feel dizzy. I have climbed a long mountain trail and reached the top peak, but I do not know why I came. And now someone is pushing me forward. I am holding up the line.
Clutching my diploma, I head to the opposite stairwell, feeling as I descend, as if I am gradually sliding down the slope. I don’t know where the next foot rest lies, and I don’t know where I’m going to land. In front of hundreds, maybe thousands, I feel alone. I feel scared.
Publisher’s Note
I first met Alex Kudera virtually. He had commented on an essay I had written that appeared in InsideHigherEd.com. The essay was about the lack of health benefits for adjunct faculty members in higher education. At the time, I was a full-time adjunct at a couple of schools in Virginia, and I had become an outspoken advocate for fair treatment of adjunct workers.
In the comment, Alex mentioned his upcoming novel, Fight for Your Long Day, in which the protagonist is an adjunct slogging through his longest day of the week. Alex later e-mailed me and, in our exchanges, I eventually procured an advance copy of the novel. I liked it and wrote a review, which appeared in Academe in January 2011.
Alex and I kept in touch. Along the way, I published several short e-books of my own. Ambitious as he is, Alex approached me about helping him get The Betrayal of Times of Peace and Prosperity together as an e-book. That’s how Gone Dog Press was born.
It’s not every day that a guy gets to start his own publishing company. I have Alex to thank for that. I also have Alex to thank because he and I share another affinity: advocating through writing. Though his advocacy has been in fiction form and mine has been in nonfiction form, we both understand and appreciate the power of words. Sure, stories are fun but, like The Betrayal of Times of Peace and Prosperity, they can also have implicit arguments that just might change the world for the better.
It’s a small goal.
Isaac Sweeney
Gone Dog Press
About Alex Kudera
Alex Kudera has survived fifteen years of teaching overloads but in some circles is better known for his mysterious injuries. He has bussed dishes and tutored English in two countries, and Fight for Your Long Day, his first novel, was drafted in a walk-in closet during a summer in Seoul, South Korea. A lifelong Philadelphian until fall 2007, Alex currently teaches literature and writing at Clemson University in South Carolina. Contact him at
[email protected].
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Also from Alex Kudera:
Praise for Fight for Your Long Day:
“I highly recommend this wonderful book to anyone who loves great literature. It's a most impressive first novel with an unforgettable protagonist, Cyrus Duffleman, whose tragicomic plight consumed me for days on end. I would not be surprised if Fight for Your Long Day becomes a classic of early 21st-century American literature.”
-Peter D.G. Brown
Distinguished Service Professor of German
State University of New York at New Paltz
Co-Founder, New Faculty Majority
“This marvelous debut is worthy of a place on the same bookshelf as Lucky Jim and A Confederacy of Dunces. The depiction of academic life had me both laughing and cringing at its accuracy. As in the best comic fiction, there is a poignant undercurrent of seriousness in this novel. Kudera is the real deal.”
-Ron Rash
author of Serena, a New York Times Bestseller
Professor at Western Carolina University
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