I froze and took a deep breath. He was right. Someone was here. Merrick.
He pulled away a bit but didn’t back up. His face was so close that the warmth radiating from his skin washed over me and sent a shiver of…of what? Nervousness? Excitement?
Nausea?
Whatever the hell it was, it raced down my spine, then up again, lingering at the back of my neck and making the tiny hairs there jump to attention. I rose onto my toes and did the girlfriendiest thing I could think of.
I kissed him.
My heart clamored as he responded, wrapping his arms around my waist, first casually, then as the kiss continued, tighter. He was warm against me. The hardness of his chest and the strength of his arms mixed with the sinful skill of his lips made my pulse race. He slid his hands up my back to my neck, hooking them at the base and pulling me even closer.
A small sound escaped my lips—purely for show. That was my story, and I was sticking to it like industrial-strength glue. I had to make this look real, right? It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the hottest wolf in town was kissing me like I was the last breakfast burrito in existence.
He broke away and trailed a line of kisses from my chin to my ear, then down my neck. Lingering for a moment at my collar bone, he nipped at the skin once, then pulled away.
“We should probably get back to the others.” He reached up to readjust the collar of my T-shirt. “At least now, the scent thing is taken care of.”
“Good point.” If Slade and I were together, we’d be marking each other. It’s what wolves did. I took a shaky breath, irritated by how together he seemed. I had zero interest in pursuing something real with Slade, but a killer kiss was a killer kiss. “And it wasn’t so bad.”
“I’ve had worse.” He tapped the bruised side of his face. “Was worth a little pain, too. You’ve definitely gotten better in the last few years.”
“Is he gone?”
Slade nodded. “Yeah. Left about the time I—”
I balled my fist and clocked him good in the gut. I’d probably be black and blue by the end of the day, but it’d be worth it.
Chapter Fourteen
Slade
I was still jacked up when I slipped into my room, sometime after midnight. I’d dropped Kensey off and shifted, running through the woods in hope of working off some of the steam. It’d been nearly a month since I’d changed, and it hadn’t helped—but I knew something that would.
I found it draped across my bed.
Lupe was on her back with her feet up against the wall and her head tilted over the edge. Her long black hair collected in an inky pool on the floor, next to a pack of Camels and an empty bottle of Jack Daniels.
She let out a frustrated growl as I closed the door and kicked her legs over her head. With a soft thud, she landed on the floor in a crouch and turned to me with a wicked grin. “’Bout time you got here. I’ve been waiting forever.”
“Why?” It was a stupid question. I knew damn well why—and in that moment, I was glad. I’d been thinking about that kiss ever since I dragged myself away from Kensey’s lips. This was the best way to scrub the memory away.
No…
I couldn’t do it. Not because I was honorable or some shit like that. I didn’t want to fuck up my chances of getting away from Gavin. If I got caught messing around with some other girl, it’d be pretty hard to convince Sam Deaton that I was crazy about his daughter.
I went for the flask in my pocket and cursed. Empty.
Lupe sauntered closer, draping her arms over my shoulders, then gently turned me so that my back was facing the bed. With a nudge, she pushed me onto the mattress, then straddled my lap.
She had her choice of any male in town—a fact she’d taken advantage of at every turn. Human, wolf, it didn’t matter. She was stunning. Long raven hair and curves that could make a man kneel at the gates of hell and beg to be let in. And as she leaned in and trailed her tongue up my neck and along my jaw, the warmth it left in its wake sending a shudder through my body, it was hard to remember that I despised her.
That I despised myself.
The wolf in me wanted to finish what I’d started with Kensey. It wanted me to take out my frustration and bury all my cares. Normally, I did. Entering Lupe’s unhinged world was a way to escape mine. I hated myself all the more afterwards, but for a short period of time, I felt physically content. It calmed the wolf, too, making it quieter for a while. Less agitated.
She moved against me, pressing her body into mine. “Shh,” she whispered. “We don’t have to tell the girlfriend.”
The girlfriend who wasn’t even real…
Was I supposed to go without until our fake relationship ended? Live like a fucking monk? When Lupe was right here and more than willing to help me scratch my itch? It would kill two birds with one messy stone. To give her what she wanted and wipe out all thoughts of Kensey and that damn kiss.
Holy shit, that kiss…
I grabbed Lupe’s face and tilted her head up. She let out an excited giggle and threaded her fingers through my hair. With a hard tug, she pulled away, despite my protests. Securing me in place using her hold on my hair, she said, “There’s no way a wolf like you is interested in a one-woman show. You’re just lucky I forgive you for blowing me off.” She wrapped her legs around me and tried to tug me down, but I resisted.
The scent of her surrounded me. Earthy sandalwood and mint. As she stared up at me, hooded eyes sparking with the promise of euphoria, I found it wasn’t as appealing as it once was. That her touch didn’t light that same fire in my chest. It still felt good as hell, but it wasn’t the same.
I craved the scent of honey mingled with the subtle hint of apples. One kiss and Kensey was under my skin? Really? What the hell? Then again, if I was being honest, I’d always had kind of a thing for the girl. She was wild and crazy—but not in the same way as Lupe. Kensey was like the clearest night sky—stunning and exciting and mysterious for days—while Lupe was like a tornado, destructive but impossible to look away from.
“I need a drink,” I said, rolling her off me and sitting up. This was it. An all-time low for me. Walking away from a sure thing because I couldn’t get someone else out of my head? I prayed this was temporary insanity. Maybe just a leftover from the high that had come from being out in the forest tonight. I hated it, but the wolf in me…the wolf had been in all its glory.
She blinked and made a move to stand. “Now?”
I stopped her and inched back toward the door. Part of me wanted to say fuck it and dive back in, but another part… “Yeah. I’ll be right back.”
I closed the door behind me, grabbed the half-full bottle of vodka my dad left on the kitchen table, and left the house as quietly as I could.
Chapter Fifteen
Kensey
“Why do you look so disappointed?” Slade was waiting in the hall outside gym class. I’d texted him early to say that I was getting a ride to school with Aden and would meet him here before my next class.
I adjusted my backpack and stopped a few feet away, frowning. “Still disappointed by the lack of bruise.”
He rubbed the spot on his jaw where I’d hit him last week—purely for my ego’s sake, I was sure—and said, “If it makes you feel better, it still stings.”
Total bullshit, but it still made my day. “Oh? Well, good then.”
Things had changed since the cliffs last week. It was weird, but despite the awkwardness of a blood-boiling kiss with an ex-crush, we both seemed more comfortable. Spending time with him wasn’t something I dreaded anymore. In fact, most days I actually looked forward to it. I was determined to get him to lighten up. He had an amazing smile—not that I saw it much. But he always seemed like he was carrying the weight of the entire world around on his shoulders.
“Merrick is having a party tomorrow tonight. You in?”
We started walking. “Sounds like a plan. Don’t forget we have that dinner thing with my father.”
&nb
sp; “Dinner thing… The one for charity? Or is this the coalition shindig?”
I shook my head. “The coalition thing was last week. Remember? The Fluza alpha’s daughter tripped down the steps and wasn’t wearing underwear?”
He snorted. “Right. Not sure how I could have forgotten that. She had that tattoo…”
“It’s permanently burned into my brain.” We stopped a few doors down from my next class. Math. “A bunch of wolves from Japan interested in how the coalition works. Not black tie or anything.”
“Got it. Meet you by the car at lunch? We could grab ice cream and still be back in time if you wanted.”
I’d told him yesterday that I’d been dying for a fudge sundae. I couldn’t believe he’d actually remembered! I rose onto my tiptoes and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. “That’d be—” Oh my God. “Uh, I’m sorry. That—”
He narrowed his eyes and leaned in. “You should be sorry. That was pathetic.” Before I could protest—or move out of the way—he kissed me. It was anything but chaste, and when he pulled away, the room spun just a little. “Hey, you wanna get out of here?”
“Out of here?”
“Yeah. Let’s ditch. Go do something fun. You pick.”
The idea of ditching with Slade—just Slade—both excited and terrified me. “What did you have in mind?”
“Your choice.”
“Anything I want?”
“Sure.” He actually smiled. “Anything you want.”
I scanned the hall, then grabbed his hand and led him out the side door, next to the PIT. It was early so no one was outside. The staff didn’t pay much attention to the area until at least fourth period.
We crept around the building, and when I was sure the coast was clear, I tugged him toward the tree line.
“If you’re taking me into the woods to have your way with me, I won’t complain.”
I snickered as I dragged him past the trees and farther into the woods. “You wish.” A few more yards and I stopped. “Here should be good.”
“For…?”
“I want to run.” Heat rose in my cheeks, and my heartbeat stuttered. Why the hell did I suddenly feel so embarrassed? “With you.”
His brows lifted, and his lips quirked—then pressed hard into a thin line as he realized what I meant. “No. Not a chance in hell, Kensey.”
“You said anything I wanted.”
“Anything but that.”
“Why not?”
“We went over this.”
“We really didn’t.” I kept my tone even and tried not to make any sudden movements. Slade’s wolf was so repressed that it had a tight hold on him even when he was in human form. That’s why his temper was so hair-triggered. If I could just get him to see there was a better way… “Hear me out, okay? If you still don’t want to run after I’m finished, then I won’t force it. I won’t ever ask again.”
He hesitated, then nodded.
“The more you try to suppress your wolf side, the harder it’s going to fight you. Drinking is only going to help for so long. What are you going to do when it stops working?”
“I suppose someone will have to put me down. That’s what we do to feral wolves.”
Had he really just said that? I grabbed both his hands and squeezed. “You are not feral, Slade McAlister. Not even close. You just need to let go once in a while. Let the wolf breathe a little.”
His gaze caught on mine and lingered there for the longest moment before he dropped it to our joined hands. Another moment and he gently, almost hesitantly, pulled away. “I do. It’s not like I don’t shift at all.”
“But you do it alone.”
“I’m not self-aware, and that makes me dangerous.”
“Slade, you’re going to have to shift with me. You know that, right?”
He didn’t answer.
“We can’t sell this relationship if you don’t. Think about it. It’s the equivalent of not knowing what I look like. I’ve never seen your wolf—you’ve never seen mine, not to mention family runs.”
He paled. “Family runs?”
“I guarantee my father will insist you run with our pack at least once. Knowing what he knows about you, he’s going to try to prove you won’t be able to play nice with the others.”
He looked like he might throw up.
I took his hands again, and this time when he tried to pull away, I held tighter. “I’ll help you. We can do this together. I promise.”
…
Slade dragged his feet a bit more, but ultimately, I’d convinced him to shift. He’d grudgingly shuffled off to change, and just as I’d started to wonder where he was, deep brown eyes and a mass of gray fur poked through the brush.
He stepped from the bushes and shook off the remnants of his change. Slade in human form was beautiful. He was tall and strong and dangerous. But Slade in wolf form? It stole my breath away. It was like the stormy gray of his eyes had exploded, painting his fur the color of an angry, unsettled sky. Each step was taken with grace and an underlying predatory gait that called to my wolf.
I barked once then bounded over to where he stood, a little rigid and unsure. My human brain would have screamed approach with caution, but my wolf brain didn’t register.
This might cause a problem down the road. Human me understood that while there still might be some festering feelings for Slade McAlister, this was only a temporary—and fake—situation. But my wolf? She approached this as though Slade was safe. He was home.
He was hers.
I nudged him with my muzzle, then when he didn’t move, swatted at him with my front paw. That got a reaction. A low grumble. Really? You’re just as annoying a wolf as you are a girl?
I snorted. Damn straight, I am.
I stretched out and lifted my rear into the air, giving a playful wiggle. With a bark, I was off and running.
It took a moment, but he followed, slipping easily into a gait that kept him by my side. We ran for a few miles with me setting the pace. I kept it slow and cautious. I’d only run this part of the woods once. It was our territory, but it wasn’t technically an approved area.
Over the uneven terrain and around a small pond. Everything was fine until I caught a familiar scent. Judging by the way Slade pulled up suddenly, he’d smelled it, too. It was another wolf, in human form, and he was approaching from behind.
Slade tensed and growled as the newcomer emerged from the brush.
“Out for an afternoon stroll?” Carter stuffed both hands into his pockets and leaned against a large pine tree. “How cute.”
Slade’s response was to increase his growling and edge forward a few inches.
“Go ahead.” Carter laughed. He even held out his arm and waggled his fingers in an attempt to entice Slade. “You bite me and you’re doing all the hard work for me, loser.”
He made an excellent point. He hadn’t technically attacked us, so for Slade to attack unprovoked would mean swift and harsh punishment from the coalition. He moved another step closer to Carter, this time pulling back his lips and baring his teeth.
I barked once. Twice. Slade ignored me.
“Hate to tell you this, Kensey, but the aggressive routine? Hot as hell.”
I turned to him and growled, which only made Slade angrier. His hackles flared and his growling intensified, and when Carter laughed and moved his hand like he was going to try touching me, Slade snapped loudly at the air in front of him.
Carter had the good sense to be concerned, freezing for a moment before slowly withdrawing his hand. Unfortunately, the guy never knew when to call it quits. “Come on, McAlister. You can do better than that.”
Slade could.
And he did.
At least, he tried. I surged forward and shouldered him aside. When he geared up to lunge, I snapped and nipped his shoulder, growling a warning. Slade hesitated, growling in response, but he backed down.
Carter sighed. “I’m going to enjoy making you pay for that, McAlister.”
&nb
sp; I watched him go, and only when he was out of sight, far enough that his scent started to dissipate, did I nuzzle Slade. Thank you.
…
When the doorbell rang at six thirty, I made sure I was the first one downstairs. Amanda had a tendency to eye-hump Slade whenever he came over, and Aden always lingered on the edge of the room like he was looking for an excuse to rip him to shreds. After the semi-traumatic afternoon he’d had, I didn’t want to set him off. He’d been tense after shifting back, but we hadn’t spoken about it. We probably needed to. Carter was, above all else, the biggest trouble maker I’d ever met. His threat was something we needed to take seriously. But tonight wasn’t the right time.
The rest of the pack had settled in with his presence—for the most part. There were still a few holdouts, but there wasn’t much they could do about it. The only one whose opinion mattered was our alpha. Unfortunately, his view of Slade only seemed to be getting worse.
The evening’s cuisine was Japanese themed and, as usual, perfection with every forkful. I leaned in close as the maid removed our plates to make room for the next course. She was hesitant when it came to Slade. After the first course, he’d nearly stabbed her with his fork when she’d tried to remove his plate because he hadn’t finished.
My father glanced up from his conversation to glare at us. I ignored him and refocused on Slade. “Okay?”
He took a sip of water and nodded. He eyed the new plate as the girl set it down in front of him. “Raw fish? You’re buying me a burger as soon as we’re done here.”
“It’s Japanese,” I whispered. “Odori don. When you pour—”
The maid leaned across him and poured soy sauce over his plate. The squid in the center twitched once, then started to squirm with spastic enthusiasm.
“What the—” Slade flinched and jumped back, falling out of his chair and taking the maid—and the soy sauce—with him. She let out a squeak as the gravy bowl flew from her hands and hit the wall behind us. The ceramic shattered, splintering into a thousand tiny pieces as salty brown liquid splattered in all directions.
I managed to extract myself from my chair as Slade was helping the maid to her feet. Once she was up, she scurried into the kitchen, mumbling something about towels, and he turned back to the table. “My apologies,” he said with a bow toward our out of town guests. “I wasn’t expecting my dinner to dance.”