At around this time – Thursday 21st February 2002 – rumours began to circulate on the subject of Redbeard’s origins.
One popular theory was that Redbeard had once been an academic at the local University but had been usurped from that position by his evil twin brother. There was an academic in the area with a full red beard (albeit neater than Redbeard’s) who fitted this description. There were of course doubts about the story. The so-called twin was identified as an academic merely because he wore a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches.
According to the story, Redbeard had been on a five-day drunk – perfectly acceptable behaviour in academic circles. His evil twin, resentful of Redbeard’s success and intelligence, ousted Redbeard from his office. He changed the locks on the doors. Redbeard eventually sobered up and tried entry to his office. But the imposter phoned the police, who refused to believe Redbeard’s story. Ever since Redbeard had sought to drown his sorrows in alcohol.
There were variations of the story. One alternative reading was that Redbeard actually was this lookalike academic. According to this theory Redbeard led a double life, one as a respectable sociologist, the other as a tramp who lived off discarded takeaways and drank white lightning cider.
Another was that Redbeard had agreed with his brother to do the swap.
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TEXT FIVE
Television??
???What the @%*!? Television •°°***
It’s made of
Window.
Stu –––––————- innit
Student.
Accommodation.
Wall. Windowframe. Picture postcard. Ashfelt. &&&***(·’·???)?) d v q = ¬(r & s).