Chapter 15
The heavy traffic between her parents' apartment on West 72nd Street and Dylan's penthouse made her grateful she had taken the limo. She could use the time on her laptop rather than stuck behind the wheel of a car. Unfortunately, the traffic also gave her time to reassess her decision. Back home talking to Callie about her relationship problems seemed like a good idea. Callie knew Christopher but wasn't emotionally invested in the situation like Jake. She already knew about Sara's past disastrous relationship with Phillip, so she wouldn't need to share that with anyone else, and she'd had her own rocky road with her husband before getting married.
Now Sara's confidence in her decision waned. For all intents and purposes, Callie and she remained strangers. They only knew the most basic of information about each other. Even though they'd agreed to start over, so far they hadn't spent any time getting to know each other.
Despite her misgivings, Sara kept silent, not asking the driver to take her back to her parents' apartment. Something deep inside told her to follow through with her decision. Not once during their previous conversation had Callie exhibited anything but grace and understanding. Right now she needed advice and someone that understood.
Sara stepped off the elevator and paused in front of Callie and Dylan's door. She hadn't visited in a while but from out here everything looked unchanged. The worst that can happen is I leave here feeling as miserable and confused as I do now. It can't get much worse. Sara moved toward the doorbell but before she could press it the door swung open.
"Sara.” Dylan stopped dead in his tracks, his hand still on the doorknob. "Is something wrong? I'm on my way back to the office but if you need—” Dressed in a dark blue suit with a red tie, her half-brother could have been the poster boy for corporate America if it wasn't for his expression. Concern and confusion filled his face.
"Everything is fine. I… uh… wanted to talk to Callie."
Dylan's jaw dropped and with difficulty she stopped herself from laughing at his expression. She'd never seen her brother so shell-shocked in her life. She wished she had a camera to capture his expression.
"You came to talk with Callie?" Dylan asked slowly.
Sara nodded somewhat enjoying her brother's shock. "That's okay right? She is my sister.”
"Of course." Dylan pushed the door fully open again. "She's in the media room with Lauren. I'll walk you in before I leave."
Sara followed her brother through the main living room. At one time the room contained nothing but black leather furniture and lots of glass—a room devoid of character. Now warm colors softened the room and pictures hung on the walls making it feel more like a home than a cold sterile apartment. The scent of something chocolaty added to the homey feeling. A little bit of envy shot through her. She'd never begrudge her half-brother happiness, but for a split-second jealousy reared its head. It seemed he'd found his soul mate, while all she’d managed to find so far was heartbreak and jerks.
Reaching out she laid her hand on his arm to stop him. When he looked over at her she blurted out the words she wanted to say before she could change her mind. “I know I never told you, but I'm really happy for you.”
Dylan's eyebrows shot up. “Uh, thank you.” The tone of his voice indicated he wanted to say more, but he kept it to himself.
Through the open door, Sara heard Callie and Laura McDonald talking in the media room. The two women had been friends for years and seemed extremely close.
"Callie, Sara's here to see you," Dylan called into the room from the doorway.
Silence filled the room and two sets of eyes focused on her. Yep should've called first.
"I can come back later if you want," Sara said, almost hoping Callie would agree. Talking about her relationship problems with Callie was one thing, but she didn't want to do it with Lauren around too.
Callie and Lauren exchanged a quick look, “I’ll take Lucky for a walk. I need to burn off the brownies Callie made anyway." Lauren stood.
“We can take the elevator down together,” Dylan said, standing in the doorway.
Callie waited until her husband and friend left before speaking. "Please sit down. Are you hungry? I made some double chocolate chip brownies."
The sweet smell of chocolate she'd noticed when she came in teased her senses making Callie's offer tempting. Unfortunately the ball of nerves in her stomach suggested that eating was a bad idea. "Maybe later, thanks." Sara took a seat across from Callie.
Silence fell between them. Sara didn't know exactly how to begin. Thankfully she didn't have to. "Are you staying in the city long?" Callie asked.
"Until tomorrow. I only came… well… to see you actually." Sara picked her words as she went along. "I needed someone to talk to."
Callie nibbled on her bottom lip, a clear sign of her discomfort. "And you picked me?" Disbelief colored her words.
Sara felt heat flood her face. "I don't have many close friends and none that know about what happened with Phillip." Swallowing, she fought to control her swirling emotions.
"I'm guessing this involves Christopher."
With a nod Sara launched into the entire story including her conversation with Jake during his unexpected visit to her place. Not once did Callie interrupt her or give any indication of her thoughts.
"Sara, I'm not sure what you want me to say," Callie said when Sara finished the entire story.
Sara tugged the end of her ponytail, twisting several strands around her finger. "Your opinion, I guess. One minute I know I made the right call, the next I'm wondering if I jumped to conclusions. I keep going back and forth. Jake's no help, he and Christopher have been friends for too long."
"Jake does know him better than I do,” Callie said gently.
"That's the problem. I need a neutral opinion, Callie. Please. Do you think I'm wrong?" She needed someone's help sorting out her mixed feelings.
Callie didn't speak at first. "I understand why you reacted the way you did. It sounds like Phillip was a real ass," Callie paused. "Before all this did you ever once think Christopher was the type to use his connection to the family?"
Sara didn't pause before answering. "No. He rarely mentioned his association with the family."
"And who made the first move, him or you?"
Sara thought about the night in Hawaii after Jake's wedding and then about their time in Los Angeles. "Neither really. It just happened." Sara released the hair twisted around her finger. "You think I'm wrong don't you?"
Callie leaned closer. "It doesn't matter what I think or anyone else. Your opinion is the one that matters. What does your heart say?"
A tear rolled down her cheek. "I want to be wrong. But—”
"But what, Sara? Has he given you any reason not to trust him?"
"No," she spoke the word without hesitation. Before she'd heard Miriam Walker on CZN, she never doubted his motives for being with her. "Still that—”
"Sara, you need to do whatever feels right. But I think you're wrong about Christopher." Callie looked her directly in the eye. "And if you don't start trusting people soon you're going to end up alone. You'll always find some way to doubt someone's true intentions. Do you really want to live like that?"
Callie's words stung. The picture Callie painted was bleak, but she recognized the truth in her half-sister's words.
"You don't know what it's like to be used by someone because of who you are. To have people cozy up to you because your last name is Sherbrooke." Bitterness crept into her voice.
"You don't know why I ended things with Dylan that summer, do you?"
Sara shook her head. She remembered their relationship came to a sudden end sometime after a big fundraiser in New York City, but she'd never learned the specifics. Since they eventually worked out their differences and married she'd never asked.
Over the next few minutes Callie explained how she'd overheard Marty Phillips, their father's campaign manager at the time, tell Dylan that he'd been the perfect man to keep her occ
upied and away from the media until Warren made his announcement about who she was. Sara's heart ached as Callie told her how she'd rushed out of the Waldorf Astoria and caught a train back to Massachusetts. And she understood why Callie refused to listen when Dylan followed her; although she secretly thought his drive from New York to Massachusetts that night in the pouring rain was romantic.
"I can't believe Dylan agreed to that. And you forgave him completely?" Put in a similar position, she didn't think she could be as forgiving.
"I guess love lets you do things that you don't think you could ever do.” Callie gave her a small smile. "If you love Christopher as much as I think you do, then—”
"I should reconsider things?" Sara said interrupting her.
Callie shrugged. "Either that or talk to him. Give him a chance to explain his side. It sounds like he deserves at least that much."
Sara left Callie almost as conflicted as when she arrived. She'd hoped that talking about the situation with a neutral party would somehow make it clearer, but even after the heart-to-heart it remained cloudy. Regardless, she didn't regret her visit. Callie's comments forced her to take a step back and view their entire relationship from the outside. Despite everything Jake had said during their conversation, she hadn't been able to look beyond her own perceptions.
Now back at her parents’ apartment, Sara scrutinized every aspect of her time with Christopher, starting with Jake's wedding. Heat blossomed in her body and spread outward as memories of that night returned. It had been spontaneous and so unlike her. Yet at the same time it felt natural, like they belonged together, until the next morning when embarrassment and guilt set in. If he'd agreed to some back-room deal with David Healy would he have avoided her afterward? Wouldn't he have tried right then and there to start something permanent with her?
Several weeks had passed before she saw him again at the fundraiser in Providence. That night he'd told her upfront that David invited him. He hadn't given her some line about being there just to see her, which would've been a great way to show his interest.
Sara twisted a strand of hair around her finger. So far nothing from her memories pointed toward some grand scheme between Christopher and the senator. Their trip to California however, had been Christopher's idea entirely. He'd convinced her to publicly support the plan and make the commercial with him.
Sara pushed everything about the trip from her mind, except that first night in her hotel room. He hadn't pushed her that night. When she backed off and insisted they stop, he respected her decision. Even now she remembered the gratitude she'd felt toward him for being so understanding. A man with an ulterior motive wouldn't act like that, would he? Her ex had pursued her like a dog in heat. Even now after all that had happened between them, Phillip tried to lure her back from time to time.
The longer she sat examining their relationship the clearer the truth became, she'd been wrong. Once again she'd let her fears and mistrust ruin a relationship. Anger and disgust toward herself boiled up inside making it hard to breathe. With her hand she wiped away the tears that rolled down her cheeks. How could she have been so stupid yet again? She'd been too trusting with Phillip and too distrusting with first Callie and now Christopher. When would she learn? Sara's tears turned to gut-wrenching sobs as the enormity of what she'd lost set in.
Hours later Sara stared at the ceiling wide-awake. Her head throbbed and her eyes burned from her emotional breakdown. Despite her physical discomforts and exhaustion her brain refused to rest. Instead questions ran through her head. Should she attempt an apology? Was it possible for them to pick up where they'd left off? Could she handle it if she made the first move and he rejected her? She needed answers. Unfortunately, she didn't have a single one and the only way to answer them involved further heartache. Something she didn't know if she could handle right now.