“What hospital?” My voice shook, but the agent didn't comment on it as he answered my question. I thanked him and ended the call.
My dad was safe. He had a lot of explaining to do, and I was still furious with him for leaving me, but none of that translated into wanting him dead or hurt. I wanted him to have the chance to make things right, and now he had it.
I needed to see him.
I stood, glancing at the bathroom door. I could wait until Erik was done so he could go with me. It'd only be a few more minutes, I was sure. Once I told him that everything was okay, I knew he'd rush so I didn't have to wait.
He'd done so much for me, and I didn't even know all of it. Like the ransom. Seventy thousand dollars, and he hadn't even mentioned it. It killed me to think about walking away from him now, but I knew it was for the best.
I found a piece of paper and wrote a quick note, thanking him and telling him that my father was safe. I added what the agent aid about the money, then paused, debating if I should say anything else. No, I didn't need him to think I expected anything else. He just needed to know I was grateful, and that I was safe. After a moment more, I set it on the bed where I knew he'd see it. I grabbed my purse, slipped on a pair of shoes, and left, just in time. I heard the shower turn off as I closed the door. If I hurried, I'd be downstairs and hailing a cab before he finished reading my note and thought to come after me.
If he thought of following me at all. I wouldn't blame him if he walked away and decided he never wanted to see me again.
I pushed the thought from my mind as I hurried down to the lobby. My dad needed to be my focus right now, not whether or not there was something more to Erik and me. I'd waited more than ten years to find out what happened to my father. That had to take precedence.
The ride to the hospital brought back all of the anxiety that my time with Erik had eliminated, so by the time the taxi stopped in front of the building, my nerves were stretched to the breaking point. I managed to pay the driver and get inside, but I felt like I was barely holding it together. The woman at the desk pointed me in the right direction, and it was all I could do not to run. A pair of uniformed officers stood at a door, telling me which room I wanted without needing to look at numbers.
“I'm Tanya Lacey,” I said as I got close enough for them to hear me. “Agent Kinney told me that I could come see my father.”
The men exchanged glances, then one shrugged. “Kinney's in there, so it's his ass or hers.”
I ignored them as I stepped inside. A tall, broad-shouldered man stood at the foot of a hospital bed, but I barely glanced at him. All my focus was on the man in the bed. I'd been a child the last time I'd seen him, and he'd always seemed larger than life to me. As I'd gotten older, and my good memories of him had been tainted with the bitterness and anger and hurt that had come with knowing he'd left me, I still saw him through a child's eyes.
He looked older than I knew he was. Early fifties, but he could've been nearly a decade more than that. His hair was still the same dark blond I remembered, but it was thin, receding. I'd gotten my eyes from him, and they hadn't changed either. But he was smaller than I remembered. Probably only two inches taller than me, and so thin.
As I stepped closer, I could smell the familiar scent of tobacco and cheap aftershave. He'd never smoked around me, but he'd never given it up completely either. I wondered if he smoked inside wherever his new home was.
“Tanya?” His voice was hoarser than it had been on the phone. “Is that you, honey?”
“Yeah, Dad.” The last word wavered. “It's me.”
“I'll come back later, Jefferson,” Agent Kinney excused himself and left without another word.
I pulled a chair over to the bed, unsure of where things were going to go from here. All those years, I hadn't let myself wonder what I'd say to him when I saw him again. I was starting to wish I had.
“I'm so sorry.” He held out his hand, but the expression on his face said he didn't expect me to take it. “I know I don't deserve to be forgiven, and I will spend the rest of my life hating myself for putting you in danger.”
I wanted to hold his hand, to have things go back to the way they had been before he'd left, but I knew that couldn't happen. Maybe, one day, we'd get to a place where I could feel like he was my father again, but we weren't there yet.
And if we were ever going to get there, there was something I needed to know first.
“If those men hadn't threatened me, would you have ever contacted me?”
His hand fell back into his lap as he turned his head away. That in itself was an answer, but I still waited for him to say it.
“I don't know.” His voice was quiet enough that I had to lean closer to hear him. “I missed you so much, but I kept telling myself that you were better off without me in your life. That I needed to wait until I'd gotten my life together, but the longer I was away from you, the more I had to make up for.”
“I didn't need you to be perfect,” I said. “I just needed you.” Everything I'd held back came bubbling up to the surface, but there was one particular thing I needed him to know. “Do you have any idea how much you screwed me up? I have no family. No friends. No relationships. I spend my entire life not trusting anyone other than myself because if my own parents could walk out on me, how could I believe that anyone else wouldn't? That anyone could love me enough to stick around?”
With each word I said, the look of pain on his face increased, but I didn't stop until I'd said my piece. He deserved to know that it wasn't just about a shitty childhood. What he'd done had changed the person I was supposed to be. If I'd been raised in a relatively normal home, with at least one parent who'd stuck with me, I probably still would've been reserved and shy, but I could've at least trusted people enough to have at least one close friend, one relationship.
“I thought I was doing the right thing by you,” he said. “It's not an excuse, and I won't lie and say that it was all selfless on my part, but I do love you. I never stopped.”
I sniffled, rubbed the back of my hands against my eyes, then took a slow breath. “I didn't come here to fight with you,” I said. “I came to make sure you were okay. Because no matter how pissed I am at you, I don't wish you dead.”
He managed a watery smile. “That's good to know.” He raised his head to look at me. “I'm not going to push you. I'll leave it completely up to you, but I would like to be a part of your life.”
I held up a hand. “That isn't something I can decide now. It's – it's too much.”
“I understand,” he said and swallowed hard. “But unless you tell me to leave, I'm not going away again.”
I nodded, unsure what I was supposed to say to that. Hell, I had no clue what to think about all of this.
“By the way, I think you're wrong about one thing.” His smile was small, sad. “You have found someone who loves you.”
I frowned at him. “What are you talking about?”
“Agent Kinney told me how the FBI found me, as well as the lengths your boyfriend went to trying to ensure I'd be okay.”
“I don't have a boyfriend,” I countered. “Erik's just...a friend.”
The look my dad gave me spoke volumes. “Honey, I may not know anything about your life, but I know men. And no man goes to the lengths your young man went to for just a friend. I know I don't deserve your trust on much – on anything really – but on this...trust me. I don't care what he calls it, but shelling out seventy thousand dollars and calling in all those favors, that's love.”
My heart gave an unsteady thump.
Was it?
I stood in front of Erik's door and reminded myself that if I never put myself out there, I'd never know whether or not my dad was right. If I walked away, I'd lose Erik. If I knocked on that door, maybe he'd tell me that he'd only been helping out a friend...but maybe I could finally have something more.
I raised my hand, but the door opened before I could knock. Erik's smile almost knocked the breat
h out of me.
“Come in.”
He stepped aside, and I let him lead me into the living room. We sat next to each other on the couch, close enough for me to want to touch him, but far enough that we weren't.
“Your dad's okay?”
I nodded. “I needed to see him. That's the only reason I left–”
“I understood.” He put his hand on mine, fingers curling around in a gesture that felt so natural that it gave me a burst of boldness.
“My dad said something...about you.”
His eyebrows went up. “You talked about me?”
“Not exactly.” I licked my lips, trying to decide how to say this. “Your friend, Agent Kinney, told him what you did for me.”
“It was nothing.” Erik's fingers flexed around my hand.
“Was it?” The question slipped out, and I refused to call it back. “Here's the thing, Erik, I don't take risks. I'm not impulsive. But when I'm with you...I know you said that it was just sex between us, but what you did for me...”
His lips brushed against mine, the light touch stopping whatever I was going to say next.
“I'm sorry,” he said as he slid his hands up my arms. “I never should have said anything like that.”
My heart squeezed. “We never said what we were doing was anything else,” I reminded him.
He leaned closer until his forehead rested on mine. “And I was a fool not to claim you the moment you sat down at my table. Hell, the second you walked into that restaurant, I knew I wanted you, and that I didn't want anyone else to have you.”
I grabbed the front of his shirt to stop my hands from shaking. He was saying all the right things, and I desperately wanted to believe him.
“Do you still want to...claim me?” I couldn't look at him as I asked the question.
He cupped my chin, raised my head until his eyes locked with mine. “Fuck. Yes.”
I smiled, my heart swelling. “You do?”
This kiss was brief, but fierce. “You're mine, sweetheart. For as long as you'll have me.” He ran his fingers through my hair, the touch as possessive as the words.
“I hope you mean that,” I said, putting my hand on his jaw. “Because I intend to hold on to you for a long time.”
“I mean it.” His eyes blazed blue fire. “You're my muse, and I'm not giving you up.”
As he kissed me, I could feel that he meant every word. He would never hurt me. I was his. And he was mine.
Chapter Thirty
Erik
I still couldn't believe that this was my life.
Heat of the Sun was a huge hit. The movie rights had sold just weeks after its premiere, and it was in the last stages of post-production right now, with a release date of Valentine's Day. My second book, The Muse, had spent five weeks at number one on the New York Times Bestseller List and was still in the top twenty after all these months. I was currently in final talks for it to be made into a movie as well. It would've been sold already if I hadn't been pushing for a bit more creative control than I'd had over Heat of the Sun. I loved my first book, but The Muse was so much more personal that I didn't want to take the chance they'd fuck it up.
Tanya made a sound in her sleep and burrowed closer to my side. I tightened my embrace, fingers moving in soothing circles between her shoulder blades in a gesture that had become automatic, though no less sincere. We'd been together more than a year and a half, and there were times I felt like I needed to pinch myself because this exquisite woman couldn't possibly be mine.
I glanced at the clock on the bedside table but didn't feel any need to rush. We were on Christmas vacation, and we'd both agreed that we'd relax. The need to get away from everything was part of the reason we were spending two full weeks at the vacation home in Aspen that I shared with my friends. They'd be coming up for New Year's Eve, but for the next few days, it was just the two of us.
A lock of hair had escaped the braid she always wore to bed to prevent her hair from being a snarled mess. I tucked the hair behind her ear and brushed my knuckles across her cheek. We'd spent the night with each other often, but we'd only been living together for the past nine months, so waking up every morning with her in my arms was still a novelty.
I had a feeling it would be the same fifty years from now because she was the only one I pictured in my future. Her relationship with her father was on the mend, but I knew there was a part of her that continued to struggle with her fear of abandonment. One of the things I hoped for this vacation was to take away some of that. And then I'd spend the rest of my life showing her that I'd never leave her.
Her hand slid across my stomach, and my muscles tensed, body automatically responding to her touch. Her lips curved up as she shifted, and I knew she was waking up. I kissed her forehead and waited. I'd yet to be able to find the right words to describe everything I felt every morning when I was reminded that she'd chosen me.
“I like it here,” she murmured as she opened her eyes. Sleep lingered in the dark depths, but it wouldn't last long.
“I do too,” I said. “It was Alix's idea. Our families spent one Christmas break up here a couple years before my dad passed, and it's probably one of the best childhood memories either of us has.”
“Did your sisters go too?” Tanya asked as she shifted with me so that we were more sitting than laying.
I nodded. “I think that's why it's my favorite holiday memory. Katie and Eddie came with all their kids, and Chelsea was pregnant with her youngest, so the house was nearly bursting at the seams, but no one complained.” I smiled. “I was so used to things being quiet, so to suddenly have all that noise...it was nearly overwhelming, but I wouldn't have traded it for anything.”
“We should have everyone here for Thanksgiving or Christmas next year,” Tanya said. “I'd love to meet your sisters and their families.”
“That's probably a good idea,” I agreed. “Though I was thinking we could take a trip this spring to see them. They won't forgive me if I make them wait that long.”
The puzzled expression on her face was my cue. I reached over to the table on my side of the bed and opened the top drawer. I knew exactly where the box was. I'd been staring at it since we'd arrived. She sucked in a breath as I pulled it out and flipped it open with my thumb.
Her eyes were wide as I looked down at her, her cheeks flushed.
“Tanya, you are my friend, my lover, and my muse. Now I want to know if you'll be my wife as well.”
My heart thudded against my ribcage as I waited for her answer.
Instead of reaching for the ring, she put her hand on my cheek, her thumb brushing against the corner of my mouth.
“Yes.”
And with that one little word, she made my entire world fall into place. Then she raised herself up to kiss me, and the world didn't matter. She was mine. Forever. And I was hers, just like I had been from the moment I laid eyes on her.
My muse.
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Book Description
Senator’s daughter, Piety Van Allen, wakes up in Las Vegas with no memory of the previous night’s escapes. Not only does she find a naked stranger in her bed, but when she learns that she’s now married to the handsome Australian stripper from Flames Down Under, panic erupts.
However, her best friend, Astra, comes up with a plan that could solve everything…or cause even more problems.
Part One
Chapter One
Piety
My head.
Shit…my head.
I had a concussion once, but it hadn’t hurt like this. Moaning, I pulled a pillow over my head and prayed for oblivion. Or death. Right now, I was willing to take either one.
The pounding inside my skull only got worse, and as the bed shifted under me, my belly started to slosh around, making me feel nauseated too. That was just lovely.
The bed shifted again, and I snapped, “Would you be still?”
“Sorry,” a rough voice muttered.
A rough, deep sexy voice.
Somehow, that fact managed to penetrate the fog of pain and exhaustion, and I tugged the pillow an inch lower. It didn’t help. It actually made things worse because some moron – probably me – had forgotten to close the curtains last night and now the piercing bright light of a Las Vegas morning was trying to singe my retinas. But I needed to know why I’d just heard a man’s voice in my room.
No, in my bed.
There shouldn’t be a man’s voice in my room.
Or anywhere in my vicinity.
I tugged the pillow lower.
Nope.
A little lower.
A disgruntled grumble came from my left, and I turned my head.
Blond hair, sun-streaked and rumpled, hid half his face, but there was no denying one simple fact.
There was most definitely a naked man just inches beside me.
And I sure as hell didn’t know him.
Yelping, I half jumped out of the bed, but fell on my ass as the blankets refused to come with me. They were tangled around his body, hanging on him for long moments before finally coming free.
I scrambled backward and clambered to my feet just as he shoved upward onto his elbows, looking around with a surly snarl.
Oh. Wow.
He was…oh. Wow.
And naked.
Oh. Wow.
“Who the hell are you?” I blurted, my hangover momentarily forgotten as I found myself staring into a pair of beautiful, pale blue eyes.
He blinked, the irritation in his eyes fading, replaced by the same confusion I felt. “I…” Thick lashes, black and dusted with gold on the tips, fell over those amazing eyes, but even that couldn’t hide one plain and simple fact – he was checking me out the same way I’d just checked him out.