A year ago I would have done exactly what I told Dean. I wasn’t a shy person by any means and messing with people I was starting to become friends with was hard to pass up. But now, no now I couldn’t make myself do it. I was scarred and damaged and didn’t want anyone to see any part of my body.
I missed dancing though. It was one of things that I used to do that always help me think straight. I could turn on the music and dance until I was exhausted. It would take away my worries, fears, and any self-loathing I had. I didn’t have to think about anything but the beat of the music. But I hadn’t done that in a year either.
Now that I think of it, since the kidnapping I didn’t do anything that I normally did. No dancing, no training, no goofing off or finding ways to torment the boys I was always surrounded with. I hadn’t even stepped foot in the academy. I had hid myself away from everyone and everything I had ever loved.
I looked around the room. I used to stay here with the guys a lot. We spent our time here during school hours and then Dean’s home during summer. At least while my dad was gone that is. So being here didn’t comfort me. I didn’t want to think that this would be my life now. I wanted to go home.
The walls of this room were depressing. They were painted gray and all cinder block except for the one wall that was half cinder block half windows. The floor was an ugly speckled tile and the ceiling was that white foam tile. Most of the place looked like this. All the floors were the same. All the walls were the same except for the halls.
When you first enter the building it would remind you of any regular school. The walls from midway up were gray painted cinder block. From midway down, brick. There was a stairwell at the front door that faced the main hallway and two more at each end. If you went upstairs where most of the classrooms were as well as the labs, instead of brick, the halls were lined with old ugly, gray, metal lockers.
I had begged Dean I don’t know how many times to do something about the color but he would always say that any other color draws attention to the eye and distracts the students. With some of the teachers here a distraction was called for.
I was sort of happy that I hadn’t had to take any classes within the last year. Well at least not classes here. Dean still made sure I did my work so I wouldn’t be behind a year. I didn’t think I could take everyone asking questions.
When you went back down to the middle floor, if you looked straight ahead, you could see the doors that took you downstairs. It wasn’t used for classrooms anymore so Dean kept the doors locked. Beside those doors was his office.
The top floor consisted of ten classrooms, two bathrooms and a lab. The middle floor held Dean’s office, his apartment, panic room, the doctor’s office, a library, two bathrooms, and two more apartments. I didn’t know everything that was downstairs. I knew the morgue for one but the rest I wasn’t sure. Not like it mattered. No one got passed Dean’s techie to make it down the stairs to look.
I got up from where I was sitting and went to the windows. This room was on the back side of the school which meant my only view was of an empty parking lot and the woods. From where we were I couldn’t see past the library that stuck out from the building to see the steps that led up to the woods. That was where they did outdoor training.
I glanced back at the boys. No one had told me to stay in the room so I walked across the room and opened the door. I walked to my right down the hall a little way and looked out the window. It faced the auditorium. They held one class over there; surveillance.
It consisted of watching films of other assassins when they would go out after a contract. They kept a wireless camera on them at all times. It could be in their tie, their earring, a necklace, anything, and it filmed the entire thing. It also showed us how to use the cameras, upload to the computer, and send it in as soon as we were done. Not like I didn’t already know how to do that.
There were many times I would skip my class just to go over and watch though. That was when they would show Dad’s contract killings. Some were brutal; others silent as he would slip them something to knock them out or use an injection to kill them. I was proud of my father.
I sighed as I leaned my head against the window staring out at the brick building. I missed Dad so much. I was almost tempted to leave out the side door and go to the auditorium in hopes of watching a film with him in it. But I knew there was no one there and the doors would be locked.
I turned, Braydon was leaning against the door frame of our room and tried to smile but I knew it didn’t do any more than curl one side of my lips up.
I walked passed him and to the other end of the hall. I stared out the window at the steps going to the woods. There were so many places a person could hide here. I looked at the one vehicle in the parking lot, Dean’s. He should probably hide it but I guess everyone knew he was always here so it wouldn’t matter.
I let my eyes follow the concrete sidewalk to the training building. It was the old gymnasium to the former school. To us, it held dummies that we practiced on, structures that we climbed to reach other levels and more dummies. There was a room to the side that was for another classroom but I had never attended a class in it, I should have this year but being gone stopped that from happening.
There was also a girls and guys locker room. I laughed at that thought. I was the only girl in the academy. I was the only one that used them.
Below the training building and down the hill was the cafeteria. It would remind you a lot of high school except the tables with the attached seats I had seen on movies were replaced by round tables and real chairs. It had been so long since I had seen it I couldn’t help but wonder if our table was occupied by others now.
I really didn’t think the guys would replace me, although there were others vying for my spot. But the thought crept into my head anyway and made me want to ask them. If I only had the courage to do it. I don’t think I could handle it if they were to tell me that someone had taken my place.
I leaned back against the window and looked down the hall. All the guys had walked out of the room and stood in the hallway watching me. Dean stood in his doorway but none of them said a word to me.
I took my time walking back and stop in front of the doors that led to the downstairs. Would my father be down there? Did Dean have him brought back here or taken somewhere else? Neither I nor Dad used the academy doctor. We had our own; Kyle. Would Kyle perform the autopsy? I didn’t really trust anyone else to do it but I had to trust Dean’s decisions.
I placed my hand on the glass of the window. My breath fogged up the glass and I could see the outline of my hand causing condensation as well. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I wouldn’t cry, not when I was this close to my father. Although he never looked down on me if he ever saw tears in my eyes, I still felt it was a weakness.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I wish I had gone with him. I had asked him if he wanted me to go but he had refused saying he and his brother needed to discuss something private.
I opened my mouth again. I wanted to say something. To feel some kind of closure but what, I had no idea. I shut my mouth and stood there a few more seconds before leaning against the door and whispering to tell him I loved him.
I felt arms go around me and turned to hold onto to whoever had come to rescue me from this hell my mind had trapped me in. I took a deep breath and smelled Braydon. I put my ear against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. I needed to hear someone’s beat because mine wasn’t beating the way it should.
It felt as if it were sputtering. Beating twice then stopping. Was I dying and didn’t know it? Or was it the stress of everything taking everything normal from me. My heartbeat, my breathing, my vision, nothing was as it should be. It wasn’t until I felt Braydon touch my cheek that I realized I was hyperventilating. He was placing a bag in front of my face for me to breathe into.
He picked me up and carried me to Dean’s office and set me down on the couch. I always hated that
couch. It was brown leather and anytime I tried sitting on it with shorts my legs stuck to it.
I threw the bag aside and stood up. I walked behind Dean’s desk and stared out the window. Below the high school were concrete bleachers, below that a football field. Although they never used it, it was still maintained. To the side was a small building that the boys used for weightlifting.
I never complained about not being allowed in that building. It was for the guys and they deserved to have a place to unwind just as I did. But my place was five miles away from here in Big Stone Gap, Virginia. It was the basement of my house.
I had nowhere now. Nowhere that I could go to take away the pain I was feeling. Nowhere that I could scream at the top of my lungs to release all that was building inside me. No, I had nothing now. And that nothing was weighing on me like a ton of bricks.
I turned to see everyone standing there. I moved over and sit down in Dean’s leather desk chair. “I always wanted to do this,” I said as I looked at Lorik. “Lorik go get me a coffee, Zavier, I need the morning paper.” I was grinning at the guys and could see Dean smiling.
“If you’re going to take my place then could you finish the paperwork as well?” he asked after he sits in one of the chairs on the other side of the desk.
“Gladly but I don’t think you would like it,” I gave him a goofy look and he laughed.
I sighed and looked down at his desk. That was when I saw something that made the blood drain from my face.
He was sending Braydon out on a mission.
“Bag,” I whispered.
Braydon jumped to his feet and rushed to me. He handed me the bag but it was too late. I had already bent over and put my head between my legs. Nothing was working. The darkness was creeping up on me.
“Don’t let me pass out, please. I can’t take the darkness.” I muttered trying to catch my breath at the same time.
I felt the cold water hit the back of my neck as it dripped from the cloth someone was putting there. The next one went to my forehead as I rose my head up. I scrunched the bag in my hands and put it over my mouth. I began taking deep breaths.
“Why? Are you scared of the dark?” Lorik asked. I could hear the cockiness in his voice but I knew he was trying to distract me. He was going to make fun of me like he always did when he found something that bothered me. He said it was his way of helping me defeat my demons.
“For two days I lived in total darkness while three monsters tortured me endlessly. So, yeah I’m scared of the dark.” My voice was shaky as I spoke. It was then I realized my entire body was shaking.
“Please don’t leave,” I begged Braydon grabbing a hold of his shirt like a life preserver. I couldn’t go through this without him.
I looked up to see him looking at the desk. I knew he was trying to find what had caused this. The look on his face relaxed some when he could see it was just orders. He must have thought that it was something else by the way he reacted to me.
That was when everything broke.
I realized something at that moment. He thought I had found a report on Dad. They had been lying to me. He didn’t die a natural death.
I gulped and looked up at Braydon. His face paled and he glanced at Dean. I looked over at Dean who had jumped up from his seat and was making his way toward us.
“Marissa?”
“He was murdered wasn’t he?”
I tried to stand from the chair but my legs gave out. The muscles in my back constricted and caused me to bend back. The muscles in my neck began pulling my head back as well. My arms had locked into place. I knew I looked like someone that had been chained up and pulled from different directions. That was one of the things they had done to me.
The scream was silent this time as my throat tightened. I could barely breathe and the darkness was coming from all sides quickly. My eyes were forced open and wide as I stared at the ceiling in Dean’s office, watching the darkness cover the white tiles. Then images flashed in my head. I was reliving my worst nightmare.
I felt the needle prick my back and prayed it would hurry.
Braydon’s face came into view as the ocean of black receded. “I’ve got you sweetheart. I’ve got you.”
“They did this to me,” I whispered as I felt my throat relax. I hadn’t meant for that to come out. I hadn’t meant to tell him anymore than I already did. It was too late. His eyes told me he knew what I was talking about. They teared up and I heard him tell me he was sorry for not being there sooner.
I leaned against him and once more begged him not to leave me. No one said anything.
“I can’t handle losing you too. Please don’t go. You have to stay here. Everyone I love is in danger.”
I hated feeling slow mentally but that’s what it felt like for me these last few days, so when it took a few minutes to realize that Shayden and Aunt Dawn were still out there, I wanted to die for not thinking of them.