Chapter 19 - The Last Night in Southmoor
Ceorn looked at the cards before him with a faintly interested look, yawning widely as he did so. He was lounged comfortable in a plush, heavily cushioned chair with one of his feet resting on the table. He scratched absently at his freshly groomed head and dropped his cards face down on the table, tossing a couple of coppers into the pot. "Ah'm in," he drawled, half-drunkenly.
Belching loudly, the tipsy bard placed his pewter mug back onto the table before making a final decision on his cards. He gave them a rather bizarre look for a second or two, then plopped them recklessly down. "Fold," he slurred.
Hal took a gander at Ambori's discarded cards and was forced to agree with the bards decision. All low numbers of different suits. No hand there.
Sir Terius sipped slowly at his wine staring at his cards as if there were nothing else in the world worth his attention. His face was absolutely expressionless, giving absolutely nothing away. Good or bad. Finally, he smiled faintly and tossed in some coins as well. "I see your eight copper," he began before flipping a glittering chit along after its predecessors. "And raise you a silver."
Ceorn whistled softly, a slight grin of amusement on his face. "Ach. It seems as if we have a big spender in our midst, lads."
Terius smiled genuinely. "I hardly think so, Ceorn. This is just a friendly game after all."
"You don't seem the playin' type though, Sir Knight."
He shrugged. "Perhaps not. But when I play, I play to win. Your turn isn't it, Hal?"
"Uhm, yeah," Hal muttered as he stared in open confusion at the cards in his fingers. "Hang on a sec."
As with just about everything else in this world, card games were something that Hal knew frightfully little about. And while he had played them in the past, he could never seem to recall having actually won a game. Be it Fortress Poker or any of the thousand other games that existed.
In his hand he was holding the five card maximum. Three twos, a king of diamonds and a dragon of flame. Three of anything’s good, right? And while the other cards were the same color, they weren't in the same suit.
He took another quick look at the remaining players in the game. Ceorn was all lounged and comfortable, exactly the same as he was thirty seconds ago. Sir Terius had fixed his ice-blue, hawk-eyed gaze directly on him and was giving absolutely nothing away. "Do you need more time?" he asked politely.
Hal shook his head swiftly, flopping his pony tail around. "No. Not at all." Crossing his fingers, Hal removed the king from his hand and placed it face down on the table and nodded to Ambori.
The bard grinned at the big man and wordlessly flipped a new card at him. It slid across the surface of the table swiftly and without any disturbance. Hal picked it up and added it to his hand with his eyes closed. After a couple of seconds he peeped at it and sighed.
"Are you foldin', lad?" Ceorn asked with a knowing smile.
Hal sighed again. Then he met Terius' bid and lowered his cards to his lap. "Nah. I'll see this through."
Ceorn shrugged. "If you wanna." He took a new card himself after meeting the knight's bid. One eyebrow twitched slightly, as if wanting to raise up in thought. But he held it back. And while Terius didn't move, Hal knew that there was no way that those hawk-eyes missed such an obvious sign.
"So, Hal," the kelt asked as he placed his new bet. "How're you and Renora gettin' along?" Ceorn winked broadly and gave a wide smile. "She seems mightily stuck on you."
Ambori laughed after taking another draught from his mug. "I'll say. After meeting you she even turned me down. Can you believe it?" The bard smiled broadly, picked up his lute from the floor and absently began to strum a few notes.
Hal felt a slight stirring of awkward discomfort deep in his gut. "I didn't … if you’re interested in Renora I can … Uhm …."
I can what? Seriously, what can you do?
Ambori looked at him strangely. "I was just kidding, Hal. I mean, I did try to get friendly with her, but she clearly wasn’t interested. No big deal."
Terius studied his cards absently, regarding Hal out of the corner of one eye. "You almost sound as if you'd like her to find interest in someone else, Hal."
Hal shifted uncomfortably. "Well, not really," he said. He clumsily toyed with the cards in his big fingers. "I mean... It all happened so fast. I was lonely for so long, afraid I'd always be that way. And then... There she was."
Terius nodded knowingly. "I see what you mean."
"Yeah... And then Renora came along."
Terius blinked. "I beg your pardon?"
Ceorn laughed seeing the look of confusion on the knight's face. "You see, Sir Terius. Hal has been with Lady Tasha for many years now. And in that time he's come to think of her in terms rather flatterin'. If'n you know what I mean."
Realization flooded the knight's face as Hal stared at the kelt in amazement. "How did you know?" he exclaimed.
Ceorn snorted. "Please, Hal. That torch you’re carryin’ for Tasha’s as big as yer axe."
Ambori spoke up from his end of the table. Strangely he was flushed in embarrassment. "Don't feel too bad, Hal," he began slowly, not wanting to meet the big man's gaze. "I hadn't noticed."
Sir Terius clapped a hand on one of Hal's broad shoulders. "So, what are you going to do about your rather... unusual situation?"
Hal sighed. "There’s something I can do?"
Terius looked at his cards as if remembering that he was still holding them and absently raised the ante again. "Would you like some advice, son?"
He shrugged and looked down at his bizarre arrangement of cards again. Now instead of a king of diamonds, he was stuck with the three of moons. Equally useless. With a flick of his fingers he tossed it away. "I guess so," he said.
"What you should do, Hal," Terius began, leaning one elbow on the table. "Is try to forget about Lady Tasha." Hal started to protest but had to catch the card that was thrown at him. He glanced at it with a look of confusion before placing it in his hand. " Forget about Tasha and look at what you've got. Renora is a very lovely young woman who seems to be very obvious in her attentions towards you. She's everything that you could hope for."
Hal threw his bet into the pot. "And if she isn't?"
Terius laughed. "Gods, Hal! You're young, barely even twenty unless I miss my guess. You don't have to find the perfect woman on your first try. The Gods know I sure didn't!" Then he abruptly lowered his voice and swiftly glanced around the room. "Although, you don't need to go spreading that around or anything."
Ceorn broke in with a deep throated chuckle. "You wouldn't want the missus to know about all his conquests when you were was a young lad, eh?"
Terius knuckled his mustaches almost abashedly and smiled faintly. "Precisely."
Ambori strummed loudly on his lute for a brief second. "Gentlemen, please note that you can no longer draw new cards. This is the last round, make your final bets if you would please."
Ceorn looked at the bard with a wry smile. "Suddenly, ah feel like I’m in in a casino or somethin’."
The bard gave a mock bow.
All three men took one last look at their hands. Hal found himself having trouble concentrating on the cards, his mind was just too cluttered with his thoughts about the women in his life. He had already come to the decision that Terius had suggested but was having trouble implementing it. It would just be so much easier if it didn't seem like Tasha actually had some feelings for him as well. The night of the ball, Hal knew that... something was going to happen.
It just … I didn't get the chance.
Renora would call it fate, Hal thought. Of course, she says that about everything I seem to do when she's around.
At that moment, a pair of cool, slender hands covered his eyes. Hal nearly dropped his cards in shock. He'd been so preoccupied with his thoughts that he hadn't heard anyone approach. "Guess who?" Renora's voice said right into his ear.
"Uhm... Queen Teixiara?" Hal asked, proving once
and for all that he did indeed have a sense of humor.
"No, silly," Renora laughed, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Are you almost done playing? Seranna and I were wondering if you were ever going to get some sleep."
Lady Seranna came into Hal’s view, leaning heavily on the arm of Terius' chair. The knight looked up at his wife and smiled. "Are the children in bed?"
"They're just waiting for you to tuck them in, dear," she said with an odd look in her eyes.
Suddenly, Terius was all eager to get the game over with. "All right, gentlemen. This will unfortunately have to be my last hand. Shall we get on with it?"
Ceorn smirked slightly, as if holding back a comment as he threw in several coins. "Two silver."
Terius gave the kelt an impressed look. "That must be some hand," he remarked.
The kelt smirked.
The knight fiddled with cards before him slightly. Then he tossed in his bet. "See your two, raise you three."
Hal goggled at the knight in astonishment. "Seven silver!" he exclaimed, gathering puzzled stares from everyone in the room.
Renora leaned down again and whispered in the big man's ear. "Five, Hal. Five silvers."
Hal flushed a bright red and slowly redid the calculation on his fingers.
Terius grinned softly. " So long as you get it right when you place your bet."
Hal took one last look at his cards and shrugged, throwing the correct number of coins into the pot. Ceorn followed suit and called the pot. Then he turned over his cards for all to see.
"Two pair," Terius commented with a confident smile as Hal's heart sank a bit. "Not bad. I knew you were bluffing though." With a flourish, he turned over his cards as well.
Ambori whistled. "Oh, you were just packing the big weapons too, weren't you Sir Terius?"
Seranna laughed softly. "Oh you big tough man you with those three fives."
"They may not be much," Terius said with a smile. "But they get the job done."
"Now where have I heard that before?"
"Seranna... "
"What have you got, Hal?" Renora asked. "Going by the look on your face, it doesn't seem like much.
Hal shook his head softly. "Nah, Terius beat me. It doesn't matter now." then seeing the look that Ceorn gave him, he sighed and flipped over his cards. "I just got these three twos, a dragon and this silly looking card." Ceorn began to smile as Terius looked at Hal's cards in dismay.
"Hal," Ambori began. "That 'silly looking card' is a Jester."
"Really? What's it worth?"
"Whatever you want it to be worth, lad. It's a wild card."
Hal looked at his cards with new understanding. "You mean, I could say this card was another two, and it would be?" Ceorn and Ambori nodded. "Oh. Well, then it's another two."
Terius stood up with a rueful shake of his head. "Congratulations, Hal." Hal was so surprised he just took the hand and shook it without saying anything.
Renora looked at the kelt in confusion, seeing that he was still smiling broadly. "Why are you so happy, Ceorn? You just lost a bunch of money, didn't you?"
Ceorn shook his head with a smile and took a sip of his own ale. "Nope. I loaned Hal the money to play. So all that there cash, is mine. Thanks, Hal. Another game?"
Hal shook his head. "No thanks. I'd better get some sleep."
Ambori laughed. "Yeah, right. Sleep. Good night Hal. Terius. Ladies." He switched chairs so that he was facing the kelt. "All right Ceorn, deal me in."
Terius and Seranna led Hal and Renora up the main staircase to the guest rooms. The whole way, Renora leaned on Hal's arm, her favorite resting post, while Seranna did much the same with her husband.
They reached an intersection in the hallways. Terius turned to face Hal. "A good game that." Hal shrugged. Terius extended his hand again. Once again, Hal took it. "If I don't get the chance to speak to you tomorrow son, good luck." Seranna and Renora gave each other a quick, friendly hug and had a brief, whispered conversation.
"Thank you," Hal said, feeling somehow inadequate.
Terius released Hal's hand and made room for his wife. Seranna wrapped her arms around the big man's torso and gave him a gentle hug as well. Not knowing what to do, Hal gently pat her on the back like he would one of the twins. Seranna stepped up on her toes and whispered into his ear then. "Come back safe, for Renora's sake if nothing else." Then she stepped back, smiled and took her husband's arm again.
"Good night," he said then led his wife away down the hall.
Renora took his arm once again and started leading him to their rooms. I really didn't need to hear that just now, Hal thought to himself.
Stopping in front of the doors to Renora's room, she released his arm and looked up at him expectantly. He stared blankly back down at her. She motioned with her head towards the door. Realization kicked in and Hal understood. With all the gentlemanly grace that he could muster, Hal opened the door for Renora and stepped back. Gesturing for her to enter the room.
Renora laughed aloud and shook her head with a smile, covering her eyes with one hand. "Oh, you big dummy come here," she said as she gripped the front of his new blue shirt with both hands. She pulled Hal close and softly, passionately kissed him.
Hal was reasonably shocked. While he and Renora had become remarkably close in the last few weeks and she had kissed him many times... This, was remarkably different. It seemed as if a fire inside him began to seethe the second Renora’s touched his. Off in the back of his mind, Hal told himself that he should stop this, that it wasn't fair to either of them.
Maybe you should shut the hell up for just one second.
Letting reflex take over, Hal circled his arms around Renora's comparatively slight frame, cradling her head with one hand and supporting her back with the other. She released his shirt and did the same, wrapping her arms tightly around his upper body as far as she was able.
The two stumbled into her room, the door swinging shut with a soft click. Hal could feel Renora's hands fiddling with his pony tail, finally removing the leather thong holding it in place. With relief, Hal felt his hair beginning to settle back into its more comfortable position.
Renora tried to lead Hal in a certain direction and he followed as best he was able, considering that his eyes were almost closed and he couldn't really see where he was going. At one point, he got the both of them all turned around and he was suddenly walking backwards. Finally, Hal grunted in pain as something solid hit him in the back of his knees and knocked him off balance. Unable to regain solid footing, Hal tottered and fell over dragging Renora with him. She let out a shrill little screech as they fell.
Realizing that he was feeling no real pain, Hal opened his eyes and saw that he had simply stumbled onto a plush sitting couch with wooden arm rests. Renora lay on top of him and was giggling softly. After catching his breath and making sure that they were both all right, Hal chuckled a bit as well.
Renora slowly closed the gap between their lips, whispering "Oh, Hal," as she did so.
At that moment, the little voice in the back of Hal's rather cluttered mind decided to throw in his two copper's worth.
How many times has someone else said those words to you?
Hal froze as Renora pressed her lips to his once more. He could feel her acknowledge his change in attitude. He could feel the hesitation in her suddenly timid touch.
You really are an oaf, aren’t you?
With extreme reluctance, Hal placed his hands on Renora's shoulders and gently pushed her away. She gazed down at him, slightly puzzled and more than a little hurt. "What? What is it? Did I do something wrong?".
Hal swallowed nervously and tried to slide out from under her and sit up. He succeeded, though she never released her hold on him. "I'm sorry," he whispered in a hoarse voice. "But I... I can't do this."
Renora forced a throaty chuckle and leaned against him. "Don't be so self-conscious. Trust me, you're doing fine."
"No, that
’s not what I …." Renora glanced up at him, her eyes very wide. "Please, don't get the wrong idea. I'm very... I’m honored that you care this much about me. That you think this much of me. I just... I can't do this." He paused. "At least not right now."
Renora turned her face away to hide the tears forming in her eyes. "Why not?" she asked softly. "Is it me? Do you not... Is it because of how we met? How I was … How we were … Hurt by …"
I’ve never wanted to kill a man twice before. But for what those animals did to Renora and the others …
The pool of rage that swelled in the pit of Hal’s stomach gave him pause. Prone to violence and quick to action he may well be, but the level of venom that raged just beneath the surface over how poorly those women were treated was a new thing for Hal. One that he could not express.
Hal shook his head firmly and caressed her cheek with one of his big hands, gripping both her hands tightly with the other. Reassuringly. “What happened that day was not your fault. The strength you’ve shown since then has been amazing.” He traced a weapon calloused thumb over the back of her knuckles. “You are one of the strongest people I know.”
“So why … Why won’t you be with me? Am I not good enough?’
“Gods no,” Hal felt the pit in his stomach sink even deeper, swallowing built up rage in a torrent straight down. “Renora, I’m not good enough for you.”
“You are!” Renora repositioned herself on the couch, sitting on her knees and taking his face in both her hands. “You are kind. And strong. And noble. And I …” she paused, holding something back. Her lips pursed as she formulated her thoughts. “And I want you to know, before you leave me – possibly to never return – just how much I care about you.”
Hal tried to avoid her eyes, but her grip on his face made that impossible.
“Renora, I am so confused.”
“About what? About me?”
“Yes. Well, no not you. About me and you. It’s …” Hal wanted to throw his hands up in sheer frustration. “Gods, I care for you very much. It's just... " He took a deep breath. "I just think that we're moving too... fast with this. I've never had anyone... care about me before. And given how we met, and how easy it would be to take advan .. advance … no … “ Hal closed his eyes firmly.
You idiot.
“I don't want to hurt anybody, Renora."
She smiled as a single tear broke free from her welled up eyes and rolled down her cheek. He brushed it away with his thumb leaving a big wet smear across her face. "And by doing this, you're not hurting me?" Renora squeezed his face to let him know that she was mostly kidding.
"This is so hard for me. I don't want to hurt you at all.” Hal met her eyes with a very serious expression. “But, I'll hurt you less if I get sorted out before anything... signi... singlef... "
"Significant?"
Sigh.
"Thank you... happens between us. And while I want to continue with all of this... I don't want to hurt you that much more if I find out that I don't... "
Renora closed her eyes and nodded her head in understanding. " 'Love me back'. I get it, big guy." She sniffled and tried to make her smile broader. She almost succeeded. "I really get it. In a way, that's one of the reasons I care about you so much." Another tear rolled free. "You're so protective of those you care about, that you'll even protect them from yourself."
Hal had nothing to say in addition to that.
With great reluctance, he rose to his feet. Renora stood with him and led him to the door. She silently wrapped her arms about him one last time. "I wish I was going with you," she whispered. "But I'd just be in the way, I know that. You guys are the adventurers. I'm just the comic relief."
Hal frowned slightly. "No, that's why we have Ambori."
Renora laughed again and pulled him close one last time. "Please come back alive," she said, so silently that she almost strained to hear it. "I don't know what I would do if you didn't."
Hal's face fell slightly. "You'd move on and find yourself a man worthy of you, Renora."
Wordlessly she looked up at him, about to admonish him. Then she seemed to push it aside as she stretched up to gently kiss him one last time. When they pulled away, she spoke again that softly. "I’ve already found him."
No more words.
Hal quietly opened her door and stepped through, pausing to take a look back over his shoulder at her. Renora stood there just looking at him with tears rolling down her flawless face and her dark hair a bit mussed up.
He nodded once in farewell and closed the door before she could respond, afraid that he wouldn’t have been able to leave had she said anything more.
Hal walked on down the hall to his own room and his own bed.
He reached the door to his room and paused with his hand on the handle, resting his forehead on the cool wooden frame. He took several deep breaths and ran his fingers through his long hair. Off in the distance Ceorn and Ambori were drunkenly making their way up to their rooms and likely waking every member of the castle with the ruckus.
"Hal?" a woman’s voice called.
Hal winced, afraid that it was Renora again. Afraid that she was about to lure him off his moral precipice and back to her chambers.
He turned slowly, trying to formulate a counter argument with his limited vocabulary.
Not Renora.
Tasha.
She was standing in the open doorway to her room immediately across the hall from him. Her hair was hanging loose over her shoulders and was apparently getting ready for bed. With the light behind her, it appeared as if she was glowing in an ethereal sort of way.
"Is everything all right?" Tasha asked, honest concern in her voice.
Unconsciously Hal fixed his posture and straightened his shoulders. Hal nodded his head. "Yes, milady. Why? Did you hear something?"
"I just heard a door open and some voices. I was wondering who it was." She peered a bit more closely at the big man and noticed the strain around his eyes. "Are you sure everything's all right? You look... frazzled."
"I'm fine, milady. Nothing a good night's sleep can't cure."
"Liar."
"Huh?"
"I called you a liar," Tasha said, stepping into the hallway to peer up at him. Hal tried to ignore how good she looked in her night gown as her amber eyes focused on him unwaveringly. "There is something wrong and you just don't want to tell me what it is." Hal glanced from side to side. She prompted him with one hand. "So, what is it? Spill it out."
Hal's mouth was suddenly dry. So many things that he wanted to say rushed through his head, but he had no energy left to say them.
"I appreciate your concern, milady,” Hal’s voice was hardly more than a whisper. “But I am fine.”
Tasha stared at him concernedly with a very odd look in her eyes. "Are you sure?" she asked. "Don't worry about me. If you want to, we can talk about … About whatever you want."
Hal shook his head very slightly. "No thank you, milady. Another time perhaps."
Tasha looked almost disappointed by his response. "Well, if you change your mind … just let me know. I'll be up for most of the night anyway, Hal." She gave him that odd look again.
Hal nodded once. “Good night, milady.” He opened the door to his room and closed the door behind as she was still offering her evening dismissal to him.
Hal staggered over to his dresser and removed his shirt, placing it atop the shelf. It smelled like Renora’s perfume.
He caught his reflection in the floor length mirror nearby and studied himself up and down. All hairy and covered with thick, lumpy muscles. Barrel chested with monstrous hands and feet.
"What could any woman see in me," he muttered, turning away and collapsing in his bed.
Two hours later, exhausted as he was and knowing how long the journey ahead of them would be, Hal was frustrated to realize that for the first time in his life he had too much on his mind to fall asleep.