Sita knows her place in the world. It is to be her husband’s shadow. So she follows him into the forest. If Ram had had his way, she would have stayed back in the palace. But Ram is her husband, not her master. As his wife, she has duties towards him but he has no rights over her.
Like Ram, Sita prepares to wear clothes of bark when it is time to leave for the forest. But the palace women stop her from removing her bridal finery.
In Vedic times, at the time of marriage, a girl was bedecked with sixteen symbols that transformed her from a woman into a wife. These symbols included (the list varies in different texts): parting the hair; smearing the parting of the hair with vermilion powder; knotting the hair into a bun; decorating the hair with strings of flowers; sandal paste and perfumes over the body; a red sari; earrings for the ears; kohl around the eyes; nose ring for the nose; necklaces and garlands around the neck, especially the mangalsutra or the string of marriage; bangles, bracelets and armlets for the arms, rings for the hands; anklets with tiny bells for the legs, toe rings for the feet; alta or red dye for the palms and the soles; chewing betel nut wrapped in betel leaves.
Sita is not allowed to remove any of these symbols as she remains Ram’s wife even in the forest. These symbols distinguish her from an unmarried girl and a widow. Only when the husband dies were wives asked to remove these sixteen symbols. To do so before was to bring bad luck to the husband’s household.
In the forest, Ram and Sita pay a visit to the hermitage of sage Atri where his wife, Anasuya, gifts Sita with a sari that will never tear or get soiled. Thus her marital status is not just reinforced but celebrated.
In temples where a goddess is enshrined, the primary offering to the deity is either fabric like a sari or a blouse piece, or jewellery like nose rings and bangles, or cosmetics like kajal or alta. Implicit in this ritual offering is the desire that the goddess become a bride and mother. Without these offerings, the goddess is naked. Unclothed, she is the wild and violent Kali, much like Tadaka. Clothed, she becomes Gauri, the demure and domestic one, much like Sita. There is the constant fear that the goddess may return to her unbound primal state, that the field may become a forest. Perhaps that is why Ram does not want Sita to go to the forest. Perhaps that is why the palace does not want Sita to shed her bridal finery.
In the forest, Sita watches her husband kill demons and make the forest a safer place for sages. She feels that his violence is at times excessive and unprovoked. Ram does not think so. This conversation between the field and the farmer draws attention to the fact that a good king is supposed to know how much domestication of the forest is necessary for human needs and how much is too much.
Sages in the forest
After crossing the Ganga and Yamuna and staying for a while in Chitrakut on the advice of Rishi Bharadwaj, Ram and Sita along with Lakshman decided to move south exploring the dense wilderness known as Dandaka. There they encountered demons like Viradha and sages like Shrabhanga. They killed the demons so that the forest was safer for sages. So passed thirteen years. In the final year of exile, they met Rishi Agastya, who gave Ram many weapons and thanked him for making the forest a safer place by eliminating numerous demons. Directed by the sage, they went to the woods known as Panchavati.
The field is constantly under threat of being overwhelmed by the forest. Thus, while in the forest, as Sita walks behind Ram, she does attract the roving eye of men, despite wearing all the symbols indicating she is someone else’s wife.
Crow’s eye
A crow kept chasing and pecking Sita. She endured the harassment silently. When Ram saw what the crow was doing, he was so incensed that he picked up a blade of grass, chanted a mantra and hurled it at the crow. The crow turned out to be none other than Jayanta, Indra’s son, who harassed Sita in order to test if Ram was really God. He ran across the three worlds to escape Ram’s grass missile. Finally, he begged Ram to forgive him for doubting his divinity. Sita intervened too. And so Ram said the missile would not kill the crow. It would only pierce one of its eyes. Since then crows are supposed to have only one eye.
Jayanta is Indra’s son, the same Indra who seduced Ahalya. This is no coincidence. Indra is renowned in mythology as a god who seeks to seduce women unaccompanied by men. Finding a woman dressed in bridal finery accompanied by hermits, who are supposed to be celibate, Indra’s son clearly assumes Sita is unattached and available. He pecks her and even scratches her breasts ostensibly for food. But Ram is not amused. He knows what the vile creature seeks and he punishes him without mercy. Thus the farmer protects the field.
The story is narrated by Sita to Hanuman when he locates her in Lanka. This story, she tells him, is a secret known only to her and her husband. Clearly, the two do not want this to be public knowledge. It stains their royal reputation and highlights the worst fear people have about the forest—beyond the frontiers of civilization women are exposed to a realm where the laws of marriage have no hold, and are hence liable to break free from the shackles of dharma.
As a hermit, Ram has to stay celibate. In the forest, he witnesses the freedom of nature, birds and beasts responding to instinct and mating in public. But bound by his word, forced to be a hermit for fourteen years, he must restrain himself from being intimate with his young wife. His commitment to his word is thus tested to the limits. Ram’s celibacy is never explicitly stated in the epic but is alluded to by the fact that despite being in the forest for fourteen years, Sita never gets pregnant. Across India, there are many spots associated with Ram and Sita. Typically, there are separate ponds where Ram and Sita performed their ablutions, suggesting the distance they maintained between them.
Like Ram, Lakshman too follows the path of the hermit. Beside him is his beautiful sister-in-law who any man would desire. But he does not even look at her. Thus he keeps his natural instincts under check. The following story comes from Ekanath’s Bhavarth Ramayana written in Marathi.
Clothes of Sita
Once while Ram was away foraging for food in the forest, Sita and Lakshman were busy setting up a shelter using branches and leaves of a tree. Having done so Sita fell to the ground exhausted and decided to take a nap. Lakshman sat with his back to Sita while she slept. Suddenly the wind blew and Sita’s robes got disarrayed and her body was exposed. Ram returned and saw this and asked Lakshman, ‘She lies there almost unclothed. What a beautiful woman she is! Who can restrain their passions at the sight of one such as her?’ To this Lakshman replied, ‘He whose father is Dashratha and whose mother is Sumitra and whose brother is Ram is the one who can restrain his passion at a sight that he has never seen but has only heard you describe.’ Ram was touched by his brother’s purity of character.
This story highlights what distinguishes human society from the jungle. In the jungle, sex is instinctual but in the human world it is governed by both emotions and intellect. In the jungle, all males are attracted to the female in season but only the most powerful or most beautiful or most skilled male is allowed to mate with her. In some species, the selection is done by the female. In others, the males fight amongst themselves and the winner alone pursues the female. But in human society, law, not power, binds man to woman. Every man has a spouse and the two are expected to be faithful to each other. In human society, man even has the option of conquering his sexual urge, even when a woman is available, something that is not seen in the natural world.
Sita is in a peculiar situation: she is a wife but her husband does not touch her because he is forced to be a hermit. She is constantly in the company of another man, Lakshman, who is not her husband. Their close proximity can breed attraction but both Sita and Lakshman overpower these natural instincts by their adherence to dharma. Thus, Ram, Lakshman and Sita, by being chaste, embody civilized conduct. They may have left Ayodhya but Ayodhya has not left them. By upholding dharma, they do not let the forest make animals of them.
Surpanakha, however, does not adhere to the code of civilization. She is therefore deemed a Rakshasa. Like Tadaka, sh
e is the wilderness. She follows her desire.
Surpanakha
One day, a Rakshasa woman called Surpanakha saw Ram and was smitten by his beauty. She approached him and made her intention very clear. ‘I am married,’ said Ram, ‘But my brother there is alone. Go to him.’ Surpanakha went to Lakshman but even he turned her down. ‘I left my wife behind so that I can serve my brother and his wife all the time. I have no time for you. I am my brother’s servant. It is better you were a king’s second wife than a servant’s first.’ Surpanakha did not take this rejection kindly. She was determined to have Ram and she surmised that if she could get Sita out of the way, Ram would change his mind. So she rushed towards Sita, displaying her true monstrous form, baring her fangs and claws. Sita screamed and Lakshman rushed to her rescue. He pulled the Rakshasa woman back and with his arrowhead cut her nose and ears. A mutilated Surpanakha screamed in agony and called out to Khar and Dushan who rushed to her rescue and attacked Ram and Lakshman. The two brothers, however, were able to drive the demons away with ease.
Surpanakha is behaving as a creature of the forest would behave. She wants Ram and she expresses her desire freely, without embarrassment. But Ram is not of the forest. He clings to dharma and rejects the proposal. Surpanakha responds as forest creatures would, with force. Lakshman then reacts as a city dweller would—he strikes her with the intention of taming her.
Lakshman does not kill Surpanakha as Ram had killed Tadaka. Sita is responsible for this restraint. During their stay in the forest, Sita watches Ram and Lakshman constantly fight and kill Rakshasas. She expresses her displeasure. She feels that weapons should be used with discretion—to domesticate rather than destroy the wild. And so while under Vishwamitra’s guidance, Ram had killed Tadaka, under Sita’s influence Surpanakha is spared.
But Surpanakha is brutally mutilated—her nose, her ears and her breasts are sliced off. This disfiguration is aimed at curtailing her aggressive sexuality. The viciousness of the punishment sparks a conflagration that both Ram and Lakshman cannot escape. For such is the law of karma.
Rather than domesticating Surpanakha, Lakshman ends up angering her. Scorned and abused by the brothers, Surpanakha goes to her brother and demands vengeance.
Surpanakha’s brother
Surpanakha was the sister of Ravana, king of the Rakshasas. Ravana had accidentally killed Surpanakha’s husband and to make amends, he had told his sister that she had the freedom to go to any man she pleased to satisfy her carnal desires. And so Surpanakha roamed the forests along with her companions, Khar and Dushan, enjoying the company of any man who caught her eye. But one day, Surpanakha returned, her face and body horribly mutilated by two hermits, Ram and Lakshman, who were residing in the woods of Panchavati. She told her brother all that happened. ‘By hurting me, they have insulted you. Punish them. Humiliate them. Make that wife of his, to whom he is so faithful, your concubine.’ Ravana comforted his sister. His physicians took care of her while he made plans to teach the man who hurt his sister a lesson he would never forget.
As Ravana abducts Sita and takes her to Lanka on his flying chariot, she starts shedding her bridal finery that she hopes will serve as a trail for her husband to follow so that he can find and rescue her. The removal of jewellery is also symbolic. It is the removal of the clothes of the goddess. Gauri, the domesticated goddess of fields, is under threat of becoming Kali, the wild goddess of the forest. It forebodes the end of dharma, of civilization. In fact, when Hanuman finally finds Sita, she gives him a hairpin, the last of her jewellery. The giving of a hairpin is significant. Traditionally, in India, tied hair represents rules and restraint while untied hair represents lawlessness and freedom. It was inauspicious for a married woman to be seen in public with unbound hair. Loose hair meant loose morals. Only in the intimacy of her bedroom in the company of her husband was a woman allowed to unbind her hair. As soon as she stepped out of bed, the hair had to be tied. By sending her hairpin to Ram, Sita is giving a very powerful message: her wifely status is under threat. She represents the civilized world that Ram is supposed to protect. Ravana threatens her, hence all of civilization.
There are many stories to explain why Ravana did not force himself upon Sita. According to one tale, he was prevented from doing so on account of a curse.
Nalkuber
Ravana forced himself on Rambha, wife of his own nephew, Nalkuber. In fury Nalkuber cursed Ravana that if he ever abused any other woman this way his head would split into a thousand pieces.
Other stories, however, say that Sita was quite capable of protecting herself using the power of her chastity.
Ravana’s threats
Ravana kept Sita prisoner in a garden. There she was given many gifts to lure her into his bed. But she refused them all. He threatened to kill her but she refused to submit to him. She placed a blade of grass between herself and Ravana and said that she had been a chaste wife all her life and if he dared take her by force the power of her chastity would kill him instantly. Ravana therefore kept away from her and used all methods to make Sita come to him willingly. Even his wives and her prison guards tried to tell her the benefits of being Ravana’s wife and the perils of refusing him. But Sita refused to budge. None but Ram would rule her heart.
While Ravana had tricked Sita to physically cross Lakshman’s line, she refused to cross the line intellectually and emotionally. The Ramayana repeatedly states how many women abandoned their husbands and went to Ravana’s bed lured by his beauty and power. The women who guard Sita in Ravana’s orchard keep describing his riches and his sexual prowess. But Sita refuses to succumb to these temptations.
Ram’s severed head
Once Ravana came to Sita carrying the severed head of Ram. ‘Look, I have killed Ram. Now you are bound to him no more. You can be my queen with no obligations to anyone.’ Sita smiled and said, ‘I am not fooled by your magical illusions. Had Ram really been killed, I would have died that very instant. I love him so deeply that our souls are entwined. His death will surely be the end of me. So go away and keep your lies to yourself.’
At another time Ravana takes her on his flying chariot over the battlefield and shows her the dead bodies of Ram and Lakshman. Sita wonders if this is true until she is told by the other Rakshasa women, who come to admire her for her uprightness, that Ravana’s flying chariot would lose its power of flight if a widow stepped on it. That it was able to fly with Sita on it indicated that Sita was no widow, that the dead body of Ram shown by Ravana was actually an illusion created by him.
When Hanuman offers to carry Sita across the sea on his shoulders, Sita refuses the offer so that her husband does not lose the opportunity to regain his honour. She does this also because contact with another man, however chaste he may be, will dishonour her. Thus the Ramayana constantly and superlatively highlights both Sita’s sexuality and her chastity.
Hindu mythology is full of tales of magical powers that women come to possess when they are chaste. In one folk narrative, Sita even uses the power of chastity to save Ram in battle. This story comes from the Govind Ramayana written by the tenth guru of the Sikhs, Guru Gobind Singh, in the seventeenth century.
The Naga mantra
Ravana’s son, Indrajit, was a master of serpent magic. He struck both Ram and Lakshman with arrows imbued with the power of serpents. Within moments a deadly venom started spreading through their limbs. Indrajit rushed back to inform his father of his success. An ecstatic Ravana ordered that Sita be taken to the highest tower of Lanka and be shown her dying husband and brother-in-law. When Sita saw the two lying unconscious on the battlefield overwhelmed by snake venom and surrounded by helpless monkeys, she joined her palms and looked towards the earth and chanted a hymn in praise of Vasuki, the king of serpents. Such was the power of her chastity that Vasuki was forced to release an antidote that rendered powerless the poison running through the limbs of Ram and Lakshman.
In Hindu scriptures, great value is attached to Ravana’s wife, Mandodari. Thoug
h wife of the demon-king, she does not behave like other Rakshasa women. She stands by her husband faithfully despite his unethical and immoral behaviour. This makes her a sati, just like Sita, the chaste wife, worthy of worship and adoration.
There are folk tales in which Ravana is protected from Ram’s arrows by the power of the chastity of his wives. To kill Ravana, Hanuman flies over Lanka. His beautiful form enchants the wives of Ravana who for a moment experience desire for him. As a result, they lose the power of their chastity leaving Ravana unprotected and vulnerable.
Following Ravana’s death, Sita is asked to prove her chastity publicly. It is one of the most humiliating moments in the Ramayana.
Trial by fire
After the death of Ravana, Sita expected Ram to personally liberate her from the orchard where she had been kept prisoner. Instead, Ram sent Vibhishana who requested her to bathe and prepare herself to go to Ram who waited for her on the battlefield. A dutiful Sita complied. To her surprise, Ram did not seem pleased to see her. ‘I have done my duty. Restored my family honour. Killed the man who dared abduct my wife. Now you are free. Go to whoever you choose. You, who have stayed in Ravana’s orchards for so long, are under no obligation to come to me,’ Ram said. Sita was horrified to hear Ram’s words. ‘All these days I have thought of none but you,’ she said. ‘Not once have I submitted to Ravana. Let the world see how chaste I am. If I have been faithful to Ram then fire shall not harm me.’ Lakshman was given the task of igniting a huge pyre. Sita calmly entered the fire. Everyone watched in wonderment as the flames did not scorch her skin or burn her hair. They all bowed, realizing that Sita was no ordinary woman. She was a goddess.