Chapter Twenty-One
Life could be worse than being wedged between the Onslow Boys in Toby's ute.
Sean suggested we go for a drive, and from the moment we had left Angela back at the Onslow, a new-found awkwardness had settled over the three of us. Toby's solemn silence was thick and heavy; I couldn't see his face, but I could feel the tension in his body where it was pressed against mine. I stole a quick sideways glance at Sean who could only respond with a helpless shrug.
Regardless of the change in mood, I was glad we were churning into the darkness; the last thing I wanted was for Toby to have a sudden hit of remorse and head back to the Onslow to pick Angela up for a make-up session ? yeah, I didn't want to think of that.
The possibility of turning around became bleaker as we drove further and further away from the hotel, veering onto McLean's Bridge en route to Perry. My heart spiked with panic; maybe Toby took going for a drive as a male bonding thing? I didn't want to go home yet! Sure I had desperately wanted to earlier, but now? Pressed next to Toby, feeling the warmth of his skin against mine; I never wanted to go home.
I listened to the rhythmic hum of wheels along the stretch of the never-ending concrete bridge that connected me to my impending doom. Home.
Be cool, Tess, be cool!
Then Toby sped past the turnoff to my street and kept driving up the winding road into the dense bushland. I tried not to smile too wide as relief flooded through me. He continued passed the Rose Caf?, leading deeper and deeper into the Perry Ranges, veering down the Point turnoff.
We were heading to the Point?
We climbed higher and higher. Toby laughed for the first time when he noticed that I was making a funny jaw movement to force my ears to pop.
"There's chewy in the glove box." He motioned with a head tilt.
I leaned across Sean who was like a brick wall; he lifted his arms to maneuver out of my way a bit, allowing me access to the glove box. The inside of the ute cabin was claustrophobic, pressed in between Sean and Toby - but don't get me wrong, I wasn't complaining! The glove box light momentarily highlighted a bemused smirk on Sean's face, as if he was loving every minute of me lying awkwardly across his lap. Was the chewy worth that smug look? Yeah, I decided, it kind of was, as I accidentally on purpose elbowed him in the side as I straightened back into my seat.
"Ugh! Christ, Tess." Sean clasped his side.
"Oops, sorry!" I offered sweetly, unwrapping and popping a piece of gum in my mouth. Toby took a piece from the pack.
The close proximity of the cabin wasn't the only thing that caused a swirling giddiness in my stomach. I had never been to the Point at night. Come to think of it, I had only been there a handful of times during the day.
Once was with my Uncle Bernie who loved to go bird watching (yeah, that had been a riveting afternoon), so much so that my mum promised she would never subject me to it again. The other time was for a Grade Six field trip to replant trees after a bush fire swept through the ranges.
The Point was a popular haunt for young rebellious delinquents who were looking to hang out. I knew this because I had witnessed plenty a young couples stopping off at the cafe in the early hours of the morning. Their kiss-swollen lips, dishevelled hair and creased clothing. Oh, how I secretly envied them.
Unofficially, the Point was the designated playground for the eighteen-plus crowd, mainly because, thanks to the steep incline, you could only access it via car. Adam, Ellie and I had attempted it once by bike, but the winding ranges were far too steep for our little peddling legs; it didn't take long for us to breathlessly voice, "You know what? We can totally wait 'til we're older".
The shadows of bushland passed by in a blur; I tried not to imagine what my parents would think. Me, travelling to the Point with two twenty-two year olds; I quickly shook the thought from my mind. No time for guilt tonight. It took us about ten minutes to make it to the final turnoff, abandoning the bitumen and winding up the rough dirt track that seemed much steeper at night. Up and up we crawled, not seeing more than a metre or so in front of us. The canopy of trees cast an eerie blackness, and as I looked out at the dense scrubland, I thought it would be the perfect place to bury a body. Had Toby and Sean not been debating the hard-hitting topics like chickens being the greatest of all of God's creatures, I might have been a little bit nervous.
"Chickens?" Sean said in disbelief. "What about echidnas? They're so tough you could run over one in your car, and it would still be alright."
Toby chewed thoughtfully on his gum for a long moment. "Yeah, echidnas are pretty cool." He nodded.
Yep, pretty thought-provoking stuff. I stifled my smirk, and my thoughts switched momentarily to Ellie. I wondered where she was right now. A part of me knew I should have stayed with her, but if I had, I certainly wouldn't be pressed up against Toby, mere metres from the Point. Instead, I would be playing lookout for Ellie and her new fling; God only knows what kind of company I would be keeping.
The track evened out at the very top of the climb. It was so dark it felt like we could have easily driven off the edge of the earth for all we knew, but like everything with Toby, he maneuvered his way up the track with great care.
The Point was a mass clearing on top of one of the highest parts in the Perry Ranges. Sheer rock boulders sloped downwards into the abyss of darkness that ended with the distant twinkle of the town lights of Onslow. A derelict, boxy, wooden shack sat to the right of the clearing that had once been the fire observation tower. Over on the left of the clearing stood two ugly pylon towers, servicing as some beacon of technology. They were fenced off but it still didn't prevent adrenalin junkies scaling them and climbing the pylons on drunken dares. Miraculously no one had plummeted to their death, yet. At least, not that I'd heard of.
And sure enough, tonight we were not the first car to crunch up the gravel track to the Point. Three other vehicles were parked in a circle and a crowd of people perched on bonnets. As we edged closer, Toby sounded the horn and wound his window down. He pulled over to where Ringer stood, cigarette in one hand, can of Jim Beam in the other.
"Well, if it isn't the Onslow Boys. What brings you to this neck of the woods?" Ringer took a long draw of his ciggie, past his smirking lips.
"We're out of options, we have partied it and pubbed it," Sean said.
"And now your here parkin' it?" Ringer laughed.
"Not with you bunch of pervs." Toby smiled.
Ringer looked at me as if seeing me for the first time.
"McGee!! What you doing stowing away with these bums?"
"Oh, you know, enjoying the view." I looked out towards the dark smudge that would be Lake Onslow, speckled with dotted lights from the town.
Toby steered us slowly closer towards the edge where the lookout was more prominent.
"Whoa, hang on a sec," Sean said, "you two kids take a look at the pretty lights, I gotta go whizz."
Sean climbed out and stumbled into the night.
Toby smiled and placed Sean's empty pot glass in the cup holder. "Although I don't doubt his authenticity, something tells me he won't be heading back in a hurry."
I cast Toby a questioning look.
He drove forward bringing his ute closer still to the edge. He pushed it into park and killed the engine, flashing me a devilish grin.
"He's afraid of heights."
We were silent for a while as we stared at the beauty of our little town. Growing up in Onslow seemed mundane, even claustrophobic at times, but sitting above it, as we did now, it looked well ? kind of beautiful. Toby shifted and relaxed in his seat. I became all too well aware that I was still pressed right up against him, I hadn't even bothered to move across when Sean had gotten out. I was torn between scooting across, because that seemed like the appropriate thing to do, or not saying a word; act like I didn't even notice and stay right where I was.
I chose to be ignorant a little bit longer.
Toby gripped the steering wheel with one hand.
"What made you think I was angry at you?"
Damn! Memory like a freakin' elephant.
Just because I desperately wanted to forget the things that came out of my mouth didn't guarantee others would.
"Oh no ? I just thought you seemed a bit quiet tonight, that's all. I didn't think it was solely directed at me."
Yes I did.
He nodded, seemingly satisfied with my answer.
He laughed a breath through his nose.
"I think you would be the last person I could be angry with."
My head swung around to look at him but his eyes were diverted as his fingers played with a thread on his shirt.
"I'm sorry about how Ang treated you tonight," he said.
My mouth gaped. "It's not your fault," I said.
Angela had pronounced Tic Tac in front of Toby as a means to deliberately humiliate me. Fresh anger boiled to the surface. Actually, yeah, maybe he should apologise for her. It was because of boys like him thinking she was a goddess that gave her grounds to be so cocky. My silence must have made Toby uncomfortable because he pressed further.
"You know, I had a nickname in high school." My head snapped up, that had my attention.
Oh God, he knew, he heard. Of course he did.
"Oh?"
He gripped both hands on the steering wheel sighing deeply as if psyching himself up to tell me. I tucked my foot under my leg, settling in, waiting for Toby to continue.
"They used to call me Toby-Wan."
Okaaaay? I frowned, unsure as to how it compared.
He looked at me expectantly. "Toby-Wan-Kenobi," he repeated slowly, as if my first language wasn't English.
My hand flew up to my mouth to mask the smile that automatically formed on my lips.
Oh please, don't laugh.
He smirked. "You think that's funny?"
I shook my head violently, biting my lips, trying not to lose it.
"On the contrary, Star War's references are hot. Gives you street cred."
"Yeah, not quite."
"I thought you were going to say Tobias."
"That, and they used to call me Toblerone."
"Hey, I wouldn't object to being named after that."
Toby shook his head in disbelief. "Chicks. Always with the chocolate."
"Always!"
We stared at each other in silence, neither one of us looking away.
"Thanks for telling me your nickname." I smiled. "It's not quite the same, but I can appreciate it."
Toby's gaze never wavered from mine. "People will always make fun of what's different, Tess."
An uncomfortable shiver ran down my spine. Even Toby knew I was different. That I was awkward, clumsy and clueless.
I broke eye contact, untucked my leg and sat up straight. "Yeah, I'll definitely look out for that circus when it comes to town next," I said, focusing intently on the twinkling stream of car lights below.
That was Toby's cue to insist that he didn't mean it that way. I was not a freak, and he was welcome to gush about how wonderful I am.
Instead he laughed, which had me frowning his way again.
"What?"
"Well, if they set you in the kissing booth, let me know, I am always willing to donate for a worthy cause."
Was he flirting or being friendly?
Toby collected himself and shifted in his seat, his arm brushing against mine, causing my skin to prickle with the sensation of his skin on mine. "Sorry I dragged you up here, I sort of didn't even ask if you wanted to?"
"No! No, I wanted to. I mean you really didn't have to give me a lift home, I didn't expect you to."
Moon rays filtered through the windshield, giving the cabin an otherworldly glow.
Toby's perfect teeth were illuminated when he smiled. "You know, you are the worst winner!" He shook his head. "Ever since you won the bet, you've been apologising. Just go with it, enjoy it, because I assure you, next time ?" - he leaned closer - "? you will not be the winner." He pulled back, smug.
I curved a brow. "Next time?"
He nodded. "I fully intend to redeem myself."
"Want a chance to rebuild your shattered ego, do you? I bet you're itching to fix my bike so you can be rid of me once and for all." I shouldered him gently, teasing him as I would Adam. And then I realised what I had done; I had treated him like my friends. He looked down at his shoulder, then up at me. His eyes shadowed with untold meanings that I couldn't read.
"What if I didn't want to fix your bike?" he said in all seriousness.
"Why, is my company so stimulating that you can't bear the thought of being without me?" I teased nervously.
I was aiming for light and airy, but something must have gone wrong with my delivery because Toby's face went blank. He looked out into the lights of Onslow, ran his tongue over his bottom lip and sighed.
"Bring the bike in on Monday, and I'll have a look at it."
"Oh, okay, sure." My heart sank. That was rather anticlimactic.
He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. A silent awkwardness had swept over us.
"We better get you home. The last thing you need is for rumours to circulate tomorrow that you went parking up the Point with Toby Morrison."
A thrill shot through me at the thought of such a thing. A girl could get used to that idea.
"I can see it now, love triangle splashed across the local news," I said, again attempting with the lame nervous humour.
Toby frowned as he started up the car. "Yeah, Ang would love that."
And there it was, how to kill a conversation. All good humour died a sudden death. We picked up Sean who was socialising with the masses and edged our way down the winding ghostly roads of the ranges. I was now definitely ready to go home.