Chapter 42 Day 22 Reconciled
I stepped out into the dim light of hold no. 4 from the short companionway when something large and dark swooped down like a giant bat and struck me in the chest with an “Uff!”, breaking my magnetic contact with the deck and sending me bouncing off the companionway bulkhead.
There was some screeching. And some grabbing and pushing followed by some 'Bloody! Blasted Neb!' and other pithier phrases and pointed comments as we struggled to regain contact with the deck and sorted ourselves out.
'Blast it, screeching like that must have startled a year off my life!' exclaimed Min, pushing away from me as her soles touched the deck as I quickly let her go when I realized what had happened and stepped back a step, trying to swallow my heart caught in my throat.
Realizing it was just my owner, dressed in her customary black, I bit off an angry retort, and after a moment spent collecting my scattered wits, said, 'I'm very sorry I yelped a bit and startled you, it's just...'
'Yelped? You did more than yelp,' she exclaimed. Her face was mostly in shadow, but her tone, though sharp, had an edge of teasing in it. Now.
'Well, I certainly wasn't expecting to be jumped from out of the dark, so you're lucky I only yelped,' I replied, pointing out the salient point. 'I'm a dangerous man in an ambush.'
She laughed.
I decided not to press that point. 'Well, I am sorry to have startled you.'
Not strictly speaking, crawling and begging for forgiveness, as advised by Riv, I'll grant you, but there was an I'm sorry or two in there and that'd have to do for the moment.
'I suppose I'm also sorry to have frightened you half to death. It was unintentional. I couldn't see you standing in the companionway when I swung down. I'm sure I'm lucky just to be alive.'
'You are at that. I was just looking in on my nightly rounds, and I'm never very comfortable up here anyway... Which brings me to the question, what were you doing up in the mezzanine – with the lights off?' I asked
'Oh, there's light enough to see all I needed to see. I was just taking a little survey of my treasures.'
'In the dark? Wouldn't it have been easier if the lights were on?'
'It's not that dark, and well, I was... I was trying to get, well, a sense of what those things mean, their qi, if you will. A sense of how they fitted into the Shipmates' lives – why they're still here, preserved all this time. I'll have time to do that, if I care to, in my free time. With your permission, of course, Captain,' she added rather sarcastically, I'm sure.
'Oh, there's a qi about this place, at least in the dark and I can't say I really like it, though I can't imagine it'd really tell you anything...'
'Perhaps not, but I've an intuitive feeling that there's lots of answers up there in these piles of junk... If I knew the questions,' she added quietly. 'There had to be a reason they hung on to all that junk.'
'I don't know. They weren't in the habit of leaving answers or even clues behind. It could be as simple as they were pack rats, never quite comfortable abandoning anything that might come in handy some day...'
She just shrugged, and we stood in silence for a long moment or two.
'Can we talk, Tallith?' I was determined to mend things between us, if she'd let me.
She just shrugged again which I decided to take as a Yes.
'Let's go and sit by the lockers,' I suggested, and started for the shadowed corner where we kept our sports equipment. I didn't think anyone would be up, but I preferred our talk to be private.
She hesitated before saying, 'We can talk here. There's not much we have to say, and I'm tired and ready for my hammock.'
'As you wish. There isn't much we have to say that can't wait. It's just that I'm getting tired of being considered cute, and I suspect you are, too.'
'Cute, Captain?' she asked, her face unreadable in the dark. 'I wouldn't say that.'
I smiled. Sarcastic again, but still, we were talking again, and comfortably.
'As I'm certain you know; the crew thinks I kidnapped you for romantic reasons. They know, but choose to ignore the fact, that I thought you were in danger. And they've draw the wrong conclusion from the fact that I'm not known for taking chances. Instead they find us humorous, the way we act when around each other, our proper coolness and all that. Aye, they, or at least some of them, find it very humorous indeed. And I'm sorry to say that I believe they've set up a pool as to when we're going to make our announcement. I'm sure you'll agree with me that we should put an end to that idea.'
'Why, you're dumping me, Wil!' she laughed.
Her good humor was promising, so I continued. 'I'm just trying to get everything in balance. You seem to have settled into your berth aboard your ship very comfortably. As I hoped. The only thing out of balance is our relationship. I'm not pleading for my job, I serve at your pleasure, as does any captain. I'm just trying to get things right between us, Tallith, now, and for the rest of this voyage. I want us to be comfortable with each other again, like we were – however briefly. If you don't want me to be captain of your ship, that's fine with me – it is your prerogative – but that needn't come between us. What I did can't be undone, so let's not let that come between us either. I did it for you, as I would've for any of my shipmates. We work well together, landing the Tilador and Isleta charters prove that. Let's build on that...'
'Oh, for Neb's sake, Wil,' she sighed. 'Quit being so bloody earnest. Do you really believe I can stay angry for half a year? Even at you.'
'Well, no. But I'm a lot less certain about twenty-two days.'
She shrugged and wiggled a hand. 'Twenty-two days is a bit iffier.'
'But I'm thinking No,' I ventured. 'So are we friends and partners again?'
She played at considering it for a while. Then with a sigh said, 'Oh, I suppose so. I'm tired of sneaking around my own ship just to dodge running into you. '
'That's the spirit!' I said trying to match her approach. 'I wasn't enjoying sneaking about myself. But seriously, Min, I know what I did greatly offended you. If there'd been any other way... And I accept the consequences. No hard feelings...'
'Oh, forget what I said back then, too. You'll be judged more by your performance as captain, than how much you annoy me.'
'Thank you, I'd appreciate that.'
'Don't be too sure. You annoy me an awful lot, so you need be a great captain,' she replied. 'In any event, I don't really think what else there is to sort out, but if there's a great deal more, it'll have to wait until we've more time. I need to be down to the bridge in less than four hours,' she added.
'There's nothing more that needs to be sorted out tonight.' I felt more tension than I'd expected start to unravel within me. I'd always thought we'd settle things, but apparently I wasn't as certain as I told myself I was. 'There are a lot of things we should talk about, of course, but everything can wait.'
'Good, because I'm tired and want a nap before my watch,' she replied, pushing off from the bulkhead that we'd been leaning on, and starting for the access well.
I turned and paced her. 'There is one thing I'd like you to think about.'
'And what's that?'
'I was thinking that we should reset your position aboard your ship. We're a very flat society aboard ship, I'm just one of the gang, my authority balanced by their seniority. As owner, you're above me, but then again, they've known you since you were eleven years old, and that image of you as that little girl still colors their thinking. We all realize you're the person behind the White Star Line and you own this ship. We all know you make the big decisions, just as everyone realizes that if I actually give an order, it must be obeyed. But until that actually happens, it's liberty hall. It's not a bad system, it works for us. Still, I think, you should, well, establish yourself as owner symbolically by moving into the Owner's Suite. On an everyday level I don't think it would change anything, but it would be important in the sense that it conforms to the, well, reality of our little society.'
'Everyone
knows. Why bother?' she asked as we stood at the edge of the shaft.
'It's simply where you belong. We're proud of you. And at the risk of sounding fawning, you're a very unique owner, young, beautiful, striking, and competent, and we take pride in that. Besides, there's no real reason to pretend you're merely a pilot, at least amongst ourselves. You can continue to become a tramp spaceer as owner just as well. All the watches you stand, all the cross training you do is aimed at getting your master's ticket as soon as you can. Then you can be both owner and master of the Lost Star, if you choose. Residing in the owner's suite would give symbolic clarity to the actual order of this ship, which I think is important in our little world.'
'Do you really think where I bunk is really that important?'
'No more important than the badges we wear on our caps, and yet, we do. You've a natural air of authority and moving into the owner's suite will align symbols and reality to insure that everyone aboard knows you give the orders on this packet...'
'Right! I seem to recall giving some orders that struck someone as optional.'
'Which seems to prove my point. If you'd been installed in the owner's suite, I'd not have had to shanghai you...'
'Right,' she said rolling her eyes as we reached the access well.
'Just think on it. No urgency. We'll make whatever you decide work. And on one other thing, that just occurred to me. I was talking to Rafe the other day about that true log project I told you about on Lontria. He's nearly finished recovering the log, but I'm afraid it doesn't add much to our understanding of what concern us. It seems that by the time your uncle acquired the Lost Star, most of their adventures were in the past or at any rate, they occurred during some strange blanks spaces in the real log. In any event, it doesn't seem as helpful as I'd hoped, though I'll pass it along to you once he's finished.
'I'd appreciate that. And I appreciate the effort you and Rafe have put into it. Do you have anything else for me to consider tonight?'
I shook my head, 'No. Nothing more, for tonight, anyway. I guess that's the great simplicity of being in space. I'm sure we've a lot to talk about, but we've lots of time to talk. Do you have anything for me? I've been doing most of the talking.'
'No, I've been confining all my thoughts to piloting and getting to know the workings of this ship. I've not bothered thinking about the future.'
'Am I right in thinking that everything has worked out for you?' I asked. 'Everything I've heard suggests you've been happy and have fit right in, but I know you can hide your feelings.'
'They have,' she allowed. 'Don't worry about me,' she replied and stepped off into the well.
I followed and pushed up on one of the poles that lined the shaft. As we drifted down past the awning deck, we passed Molaye who was just approaching the well. She stopped and stared for a brief moment before a smile brightened her dark face, which she held, despite my hard glare as we dropped out of sight. There are no secrets aboard a space ship. Not for long, anyway.